AN: Thanks to Guest for your review.
Chapter 7: A Fool Wolf
The grand hall was buzzing with chatters and laughter. It was after all a feast in the honor of the king. Hope was invited to the feast since she got promoted and became important enough to receive an invitation. She brought Nessysa along with her. There was no way she was going to live through the feast alone. The two friends stayed in a corner so that no one should notice them.
"Does he ever stop eating?" Nessysa asked with disbelieve in her voice while staring at the king.
"Given his physique I wouldn't bet on it" said Hope. When she first saw the king, she was shocked to say the least. Disappointed actually. Hope was expecting a cold and cruel looking man, not a fat goofy looking oaf. At least the queen met her expectations. Queen Cersei was beautiful indeed but her whole demeanor screamed heartless.
"Do you remember while we were traveling through the south, we overheard a little bird saying a very interesting rumor about Queen Cersei." Nessysa asked Hope who nodded her head.
"Well I no longer believe that to be simply a rumor. Look at the king's children. None of them have black hair. They are all golden head." She pointed it out. She was quite certain about her deduction. Hope as well looked at the king's children carefully. And she agreed with Nessysa immediately.
"You are right. Black is the dominant color. All of king's children should have had black hair. At least one of them should have." Hope and Nessysa looked at each other with a knowing expression on their faces.
"Once again it is proven then that a rumor is never simply a rumor specially when it's about someone important" said Hope to Nessysa with a crooked smile.
"So prince Joffrey, princess Myrcella and prince Tommen are actually the hard work of Jamie Lannister." Nessysa said while shaking her head to herself.
"Frankly speaking I am not surprised" said Hope taking a sip from her wine glass. "Not only Queen Cersei doesn't seem like a very loyal wife which I don't blame her for-" She really meant it as she saw the king groping another woman and enjoy her right in front of the queen.
"Jamie Lannister is one hell of a handsome man. Now who wouldn't want that? Queen Cersei is one lucky woman I'd say." Nessysa couldn't help but laugh at Hope's statement. Anyone else would've felt disgusted by the idea of a brother and sister being together but Hope was a Targaryen and Nessysa never really cared about morality or religion. The girls couldn't discuss this topic further as Lord Stark approached them.
"My lord." Both Hope and Nessysa bowed their heads before the lord of Winterfell. Ned looked at Nessysa with curiosity.
"My lord this is my very good friend Nessysa. She is like my sister." He offered her a polite smile before looking back at Hope.
"Are you enjoying the feast?" Ned asked. He genuinely wanted to know.
"Yes my lord. Thank you very much for the invitation. Though I must say, the feast is missing something" said Hope making him frown at her with confusion.
"What is it?" He asked.
"Everyone is here, except for Jon. Does he not like feasts?" She asked wondering about her twin's absence at the feast. Lord Stark's eyes flickered to Nessysa for a second. Hope noticed that immediately.
"Not to worry my lord. She knows everything." She assured her uncle. Ned was a little surprised to hear that but didn't say anything about it. Instead he sighed out heavily.
"It's not that Jon doesn't like feasts. He was forbidden to attend this one. My wife thinks it'd be inappropriate to sit him among the royal family." The first thing Hope felt was pure anger. But anger wasn't going to get her anywhere. So she forced herself to calm down. Lord Stark felt bad about it too but there was nothing he could do. Except for one thing.
"I think you should go and be with him right now." He indirectly requested Hope. She nodded her head immediately.
"Yes, I shall go and find him." Hope looked at her friend and said-
"Stay here. Enjoy the feast." Saying that she left the hall. Lord Stark and Nessysa looked at each other as Hope disappeared from their sight.
"How long have you known Hope?" He asked with curiosity.
"I met her ten years ago. She and Alais were staying in Braavos at that time" replied Nessysa.
"Alais was the handmaiden who-" She nodded her head as Lord Stark said that.
"Yes, Alais was the one who took Hope but you must know she did it to protect her. She was a wonderful mother to Hope. Alais loved her like her own for as long as she lived." Ned believed her and felt sorry that Alais was no more. Her death must have hurt Hope very much.
"I'm glad to hear Hope had a loving mother while growing up." He said really meaning it.
"How did you meet Hope if you don't mind me asking?" It was quite clear that Lord Stark wanted know about Hope's childhood as much as possible since he missed it completely.
"Of course not my lord. I still remember that day vividly."
Flashback
Braavos
Free City of Essos
The local tavern was more crowded than usual. In the midst of the crowd, seven year old Hope was singing a famous Valyrian song. Alais was completely against her earning money at first but later the little dragon was able to persuade her mother. Hence little Hope was singing in the local tavern. She sang there every evening for past two weeks. The owner was more than happy to let her sing there since she brought in more customers. She was definitely earning more money than Alais. However, at that point it wasn't only about money for Hope anymore. She enjoyed the crowd's attention. She enjoyed entertaining people with her songs. She enjoyed the praises she received everyday. Hope's singing talent was becoming more an art for her than a means to earn money.
And it was a talent indeed. People were drawn to her singing as if she was a siren. Nine year old Nessysa was no different. She came to the tavern everyday since Hope started singing there. Nessysa wasn't allowed inside because she was a street child with no home, no family. She was nothing but dirt. But that didn't stop her. She'd sneak in the tavern everyday and stay hidden under a table for as long as Hope sang there. Nessysa knew if she ever got caught, she'd be beaten to death by the owner of the tavern, still she couldn't help herself. She simply wanted to hear Hope sing. She thought the little girl's voice was enchanting. And it was obvious that she wasn't the only one who thought that.
"Which brothel you will be visiting tonight?" A man asked his companion. There was a group of half drunken men sitting at the table. The same table Nessysa was hiding under. But obviously they were unaware of it.
"I'm not going to a brothel tonight" replied the man who was asked the question.
"Why not?" Another man asked curiously.
"Because no brothel can get me that." The man pointed towards little Hope.
"A little singing bird. Her songs have woken the animal inside me. Tonight I shall have her."
"Why should only you have her?" Someone at the table asked.
"I'm open to sharing with you brother but I'll go first. After all I am older than you."
"You fuckers, can't you see she's merely a child." At last a decent man.
"What pleasure she could possibly give you now? I say we take her with us. And after a couple of years, she'll be able to please us all." No, not a decent man at all.
"If you wish to enjoy her a couple of years later, by all means wait but tonight my cock will be inside her."
Despite the fact that Nessysa was engrossed in Hope's song, she overheard the men talking. Needless to say, she didn't like what she heard. If those evil men took the little girl away, she would never hear her sing again. She couldn't let it happen. Even though for selfish reason, Nessysa decided to save Hope from their sinful intentions. The little singing bird would never be in a cage.
Later, after Hope finished singing her last song for the evening, she collected all the coins in her small satchel. It was time for her to go back home. But before going home, Hope would go to the place where Alais worked now. From there they would go home together. It had become their daily routine. Speaking of Alais, she may have stopped working in a brothel but she didn't stop working altogether. She found work in the kitchen of a lord's house. The payment was far less than what Alais was used to earn but she was no longer tortured everyday. Besides, it made Hope very happy to see her mother working in a decent place and not sacrificing her body and soul anymore. And that was what was most important to Alais, seeing her daughter happy.
Hope was walking down a familiar alley. It was merely a ten minutes way from the tavern to the lord's house. Suddenly she felt someone following her. She looked over her shoulder but found no one. Hope started walking again but with faster pace. She was wearing a chain around her neck with a pendant hanging by the chain. The pendant was actually the coin that many faced god gave Hope through a nameless man. She didn't know for sure if it'd really work but she always wore it. Somehow it gave her a sense of protection. Hope clutched the coin in a tight grip as she walked rather hastily.
"Hello little girl." Suddenly a man appeared in front of her, blocking her path. She took a step back instinctively.
"Oh don't be afraid. I mean you no harm. In fact I'm your admirer. You have an amazing voice little girl" said the man. Hope gulped down the bad feeling she was having and spoke up.
"Thank you for your kind words but I must be going." She tried to walk by the stranger man but he stood in her way once again, stopping her from leaving. Hope knew right away that she must run. This man was bad news.
"what's your hurry little girl? You didn't even tell me your name." Hope turned around to run the other way but found the path blocked already by another two stranger men. She looked back at the first man she encountered.
"What do you want from me? Do you want the money?" She asked but the man only gave her a nasty smile in reply.
"We do not want your money little girl and if you behave we will even pay you." Before Hope could realize what was going to happen to her, the other two stranger men grabbed her from behind. She struggled against them. She thrashed and screamed but it only entertained those filthy men. All three of them started to feel her body, touched her in a way that made her inside cringe with disgust. One of them even started to tear off her dress. Hope screamed at the top of her lungs when she felt someone touching her in between her legs. She increased her struggling which earned her a smack across the face.
"We should gag her mouth or someone will hear the little bitch screaming" said one of them.
"Let's see how she screams with my cock in her mouth." The man loosened his trouser and pulled out his cock. Hope's eyes widened with fear and she tightly closed her mouth. But another man yanked her hair painfully which made her scream again. Before Hope knew it, she was choking on the man's penis. But that wasn't all. The other two men also pulled out their cocks and one of them prepared to enter her bottom. But thankfully he never could. Someone stabbed him in the back. The man screamed out in pain. The other two men got shocked as his body fell on the ground while writhing in pain and revealed a little girl, slightly older than the one they were molesting and about to rape. Nessysa without thinking of anything jumped on the other two men with her little knife in hand. They caught her and she started to struggle against them. Nessysa wanted to slit their throats. But it wasn't easy since she already lost her element of surprise.
Hope on the other hand, hurriedly put on her torn dress and she started to run away as fast as she could. Her first thought was to get to Alais and be safe in her arms. But half way, Hope stopped running. She realized that someone put her own life in danger to save hers and instead of helping that girl, she was running away. What kind of a dragon she was? A coward one. No, Hope wasn't a coward. She decided to rescue the girl. But how? She looked down at her coin pendant and then looked around. She spotted a beggar sitting at the side of the street a little far away. Hope ran to him.
"Are you a man of Braavos?" She asked for assurance. There were many foreigners in Braavos. The beggar nodded his head. Hope took off her chain and gave the coin to him.
"Valar Morghulis." She said and she looked around. Hoping for someone to come to her aid. But no one came. Hope was about to get disappointed when the beggar spoke up.
"How can I help you little Hope?" She looked back at the beggar. She was both shocked and startled, when the beggar pealed off his face and became the nameless man Hope met before. She was so shocked that she couldn't speak for a moment.
"How did you-" Hope began to ask but stopped herself. There was someone she needed saving first.
"Please save the girl who saved me. She is in danger right now."
"You wish to spend your gift on a stranger girl?" The nameless man asked. His face was unreadable. Hope couldn't tell if he admired it or disapproved of it. But that didn't matter.
"She saved me. I owe her my life. Giving her my gift from the many faced god is the least I could do." The nameless man didn't ask anything else.
"Very well." He said. And then he disappeared into the darkness. Hope didn't know what to do. She ran back to where she left the girl with those evil men. When she got there, she saw the stranger girl was about to meet the same fate she was going to. Those filthy men were going to rape her. Hope held her breath, not knowing if the nameless man would really come to save the girl. But he came. The nameless man attacked the two men who were going to rape the girl. The third one was still writhing in pain from the stab wound. The other two men didn't even have a chance to fight before the nameless man slit their throats. Then he approached the wounded one.
"No no please don't." The man begged but the nameless man slit his throat as well. After that he turned to look at Hope who was staring at him with wide eyes. He approached her but she didn't feel scared.
"The many faced god has fulfilled his promise. He sent help when you called." The nameless man told Hope. She nodded her head.
"I thank the many faced god and you as well."
"I only do what the god commands." The nameless man took a step closer to Hope and he held out the familiar coin to her. She looked at him with confusion.
"If you ever need anything, this will help you find me. But next time, you shall have to pay a price for what you ask from the many faced god." Hope nodded her head in understanding and took the coin from the nameless man.
"Farewell little Hope. Until we meet again."
With that the nameless man disappeared into the darkness once again. After a moment or two, Hope averted her eyes from the place the nameless man disappeared to and she looked at the stranger girl. She was still sitting on the ground and looked quite shocked. At least she has covered herself. Hope rushed to her feeling worried.
"Are you alright?" She asked with concern in her voice. Nessysa looked at Hope with disbelieve in her eyes.
"You came back for me."
"Of course, you saved my life. My name is Hope."
"I call myself Nessysa." The two future best friends introduced each other properly. Hope noticed all the bruises on Nessysa's arms and face.
"You are hurt." She said feeling horrible for the girl.
"I will live" said Nessysa rather nonchalantly as if she wasn't hurting. She even stood up on her own without any help. It was just, Nessysa was used to of pain unlike Hope. After all she was a street child and everyday was a struggle for her.
"Why did you save me?" Hope couldn't help but ask the other girl. She was very curious to know.
"If I hadn't then I would've never heard you sing again." Hope gaped at her for what she said. She put her life in danger just so she could hear her sing. It seemed Hope's voice was a gift from the gods indeed.
"Wait here." Saying that Nessysa ran to a brick wall nearby. Hope watched her curiously as she pulled out a brick. It seemed there was something hidden inside the wall. Nessysa pulled out a wooden box from inside before putting the brick back on the wall. She came back to Hope who was looking more curious than before.
"This will make all the pain go away." Nessysa said more to herself than to Hope. She opened the box and ate whatever was inside.
"Is it medicine?" Hope asked wondering about it. Nessysa however shook her head.
"They are sweets from the heavens. Try one." She held out the wooden box to Hope. She was too curious not to try. However when Hope was about to take one, Nessysa took back the box making her frown in confusion.
"But you must sing me a song if you try one." Hope was half tempted not to try the sweets as Nessysa made the demand but as said before she was very curious about it. How could a street child possess the sweets from heavens? Besides, she was only asking for a song. Therefore Hope agreed to it.
"Alright. I shall sing a song for you." Nessysa grinned widely and held the box before Hope once again. She took one sweet from the box and put it in her mouth. She was surprised as the delicious sweet taste spread in her mouth. It was indeed heavenly. Hope had never eaten anything like it before. She couldn't stop the moan that escaped her breath.
"This is so delicious. Where did you get this?" She asked Nessysa. Hope was very eager to know.
"Lord Varys gave them to me." Nessysa replied.
"Who is lord Varys?" Hope asked. Her eyebrows furrowed with confusion.
"He is a lord in King's landing in Westros." The answer confused her more.
"Why would a lord from Westros give you these sweets?"
"Because I tell him things. He calls us his little birds." Nessysa's answer opened up a new chapter in Hope's life. It was also the new beginning of an everlasting friendship.
End Of Flashback
"You work for lord Varys, the spy master." Lord Stark said with disbelieve in his voice.
"Worked for lord Varys. We both did, Hope and I for a time. Hope of course had a reason to become one of Lord Varys' little birds" said Nessysa, making Ned more interested in his niece's past.
"What reason?" He asked curiously. Before she could give an answer, someone came up to Ned.
"Brother!" Benjen Stark embraced his brother. They were seeing each other after a long time. Both of them were smiling. After the brothers pulled away from each other, Ned looked back at Nessysa.
"We shall talk later." She nodded her head. Lord Eddard Stark walked away from there with his brother. Nessysa watched them going over to a less crowded corner so they could catch up with each other. She averted her eyes but a smile appeared on her lips as she recalled more memories of the past. The reason Hope had to become a spy for the spy master was quite simple. She wanted to find out if any other Targaryen was still alive. In the beginning Nessysa had thought that Hope was working for Lord Varys only for the sweets like she was. But later, after she earned Hope's trust, she learned about her real purpose. And spying for Lord Varys did the work for Hope. One day while collecting information for the spy master regarding a matter, Hope found out that her uncle Viserys and her aunt Daenerys were still alive. She was no longer the last living Targaryen. Not long after they found out about the other living Targaryens, Hope and Nessysa stopped working for Lord Varys. Though they kept their spying skills with them and used them whenever needed.
While Nessysa relived some past memories at the feast, Hope was out eavesdropping in on the conversation her twin and Tyrion Lannister were having.
"Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor... and it can never be used to hurt you." As lord Tyrion gave Jon that advice, Hope realized that he was more than a drunkard dwarf. He knew things about life and people that most didn't. Too bad, Jon wasn't wise enough yet to understand his advice, let alone use it.
"What the hell do you know about being a bastard?" Jon asked as Tyrion started to leave. The question made the imp look back at the bastard.
"All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes." He said it with a smile. Then he walked away while drinking wine from the wineskin. Jon kept looking at his retreating back for a while before turning around and picking up his sword. He swung it so hard that the practicing target almost broke in half.
"Now what did that poor thing ever do to you Jon?" Hope asked as she finally walked up to him. She was obviously talking about the practicing target. Jon looked at her but didn't say anything. Hope thought he wouldn't speak to her but he did.
"You are speaking to me again. Does it mean you are done avoiding me?" There was no denying that Hope was indeed avoiding Jon.
"Yes. I even came bearing an apology gift." She pulled out a wooden box from inside her cloak. She opened the box and revealed sweets in them. Jon looked at the sweets, then back at her.
"I made them myself. You will love it." She said enthusiastically but her twin showed no interest in eating.
"Thanks but I'm not hungry." Jon said with a rather stern tone of voice. He started practicing with his sword again. Hope on the other hand sighed out heavily. She knew he was lying about not being hungry. He hadn't eaten anything since morning. He ought to be starving.
"I didn't know you've so much anger and aggression bottled up in you. But taking out your anger on a lifeless target isn't all that satisfying, is it?" Jon heard her talking but he didn't say anything in return. So now he was avoiding Hope. But avoiding Hope wasn't easy. She put down the box of sweet on an empty barrel, then untied her cloak and let it drop on the ground. Hope wasn't cold. She only wore warm clothes in order to blend in and avoid suspicion. Hope found herself a wooden sword which was for training young boys. Then she boldly stood in front of the practicing target.
"What are you doing?" Jon asked glaring at her for interrupting his practice or whatever it was really.
"Helping you of course." She said with an innocent tone of voice. "I guarantee that fighting me would be much more satisfying than victimizing this lifeless target."
Jon looked at Hope as if she was crazy. "I'm not going to fight you. You are a girl."
"You don't want to fight me because I am a girl and you're just being a gentleman or you don't want to fight me because you are afraid of losing to a girl. Something tells me it's the later." Hope spoke with a thoughtful expression on her face as she cleverly baited her brother. And it worked. Jon was fuming by then. He walked over to the stand where swords were kept. He put down his steel sword and took a wooden one. Hope was holding a wooden sword. It would be unfair for Jon to use a blade against her. If they were going to fight, they were going to fight fair. Jon walked back to Hope.
"When I defeat you, which I will in five seconds you better tell me what happened that day." He said with a calm tone of voice which sounded a little dark as well.
"And if I defeat you, you will eat those sweets."
Without another word, Jon swung his wooden sword at Hope. She dodged the attack. There was no doubt that Jon was a very skilled swordsman. Compared to him, Hope was an amateur meaning incompetent. But she knew tricks and she knew how to dance. Even with a sword. While living in Braavos, she learned many things. Braavosi water dancing was one of them. After almost getting raped, Hope was keen on learning how to fight. She'd watch Bravo men fighting in duels and later teach herself the techniques. It didn't work so well in the beginning but later she had some help. Though, Hope never participated in a real duel before. In fact she only ever used blade when absolutely needed to. Therefore while fighting with her twin, Hope only kept blocking his attack or dodge them most of the time. Her goal was to exhaust Jon and then catch him off guard at one point. And it was definitely working. Jon kept swinging at her again and again. His movements became more aggressive with each passing second. Hope's dancing around was frustrating him. As if that wasn't enough, she had to mock him as well.
"I thought you were going to defeat me in five seconds" taunted Hope when half a minute passed.
"I'd have defeated you if you were actually fighting me. What you are doing is simply dodging my attacks" said Jon swinging his sword at her once again.
"Which is keeping me from losing. Isn't that what really matters in a fight? Winning or losing."
"But it seems you do know how to wield a sword. Where did you learn it?" Since Jon was an expert himself, he could tell if a person really knew how to wield a sword.
"No where. I taught myself" said Hope, not getting into any detail. Then suddenly she kicked Jon in his knee. Something he wasn't expecting at all. Jon lost his balance and fell down on the ground. Hope quickly disarmed him and pointed her sword at his throat.
"That's cheating!" Jon exclaimed with anger.
"Now that; I learned from someone in Norvos" said Hope with a smirk on her lips. She learned a lesson quite early in her life that life itself wasn't fair so why should a fight be. Besides, she could've never won against Jon without using some of her tricks. Hope extended her hand towards Jon which of course he didn't take and stood up on his own.
"In any case, I won." Hope said triumphantly.
"You cheated." Jon growled out at her.
"Well that doesn't make me any less winner or you any less defeated." He glared at Hope before looking away from her. When she felt Jon's anger marred with old sadness, she understood that he needed to feel better. Simply taking out his aggression wouldn't help him. Hope inhaled a deep breath before speaking up again.
"That day when you held my hand, you felt something, didn't you?" She said making Jon look back at her. Their eyes met and the moment started to get a little intense.
"You felt something magical" stated Hope. Jon knew she was being serious about it.
"I felt whole, as if I was missing something before. But yes, it felt magical indeed." He said looking as deeply as possibly into her eyes. He was searching for something, though not knowing what exactly he was searching for.
"I felt the same." Hope confessed her own feelings. "And it scared me. That's why I have been avoiding you. But I'm not scared anymore."
She put out her hand in front of Jon who eagerly put his hand against hers. They didn't receive any shock unlike before but they felt that magical connection again. Jon closed his eyes as he felt all the anger and sadness leaving him somehow and peace taking over his mind. Hope on the other hand felt more strongly connected to her twin. She wished she could tell Jon everything and call him her brother. Embrace him and tell him why he felt whole with her.
"Your hand, it's so warm" said Jon more to himself than to Hope. His own hand was however cold as it should be in the chilly weather of Winterfell. Indeed he was a wolf rather than a dragon. Jon finally opened up his eyes again and looked at Hope.
"Why do I feel like this?" He asked. He was confused and wanted answers.
"One day you will know why" said Hope calmly, then she inhaled a deep breath and exhaled heavily. Jon wasn't happy with the answer or the lack of it. He was about to argue with her but she didn't let him speak.
"Now since you've lost a fight, I believe you are supposed to do something." Hope wasn't going to let Jon starve the whole night. No way. Seeing the determination in her eyes, Jon didn't bother arguing. Besides, he was starving indeed. He took the box and ate one sweet, half expecting not to like it but that was not what happened. The delectable taste surprised Jon. He liked it so much that he ate the entire box.
"Told you, you are going to like it. These are my favorite too" said Hope.
"Thank you" said Jon and he really meant it. Suddenly they both became quiet. Both thinking about the other. After few moments of silence, Jon spoke up again.
"I've asked my uncle to take me with him when he goes back to the wall." He said which shocked Hope very much. Most importantly it made her fear come true, that one day Jon would be facing the white walkers. When he spoke to Uncle Benjen about it, Hope hadn't found him yet. Therefore she didn't know what he has planned for his future. Thank the gods Jon told her about it. However it didn't mean she was happy about what she just learned.
"Jon I understand that you want to get out of Winterfell but the wall is not a solution." Hope bluntly expressed her disapproval.
"There's no other place where a bastard like me is respected. The wall is the only place where I'll be accepted for who I am." Jon was obviously very determined about going to the wall. He thought he would earn respect there. Something that Winterfell never gave him.
"Respect?" Hope raised her eyebrows at him.
"Fool!" Clearly he knew nothing about the reality of the wall. "Do you even know what the wall is? It's nothing but a prison for those criminals who didn't wish to die or lose a body part."
While crossing the south, Hope saw criminals being taken away to the wall in order to serve in the Night's watch. "What respect could you possibly get from criminals?"
Hope's description of the Night's watch didn't dissuade Jon. If anything he became more determined. "My uncle Benjen serves in the Night's watch. He is no criminal. And he is a respected ranger over there."
Hope sighed out heavily. She understood it was pointless to make Jon understand. He had made up his mind already. And so did Hope at that moment. She found her twin after staying separate for seventeen years. She would not lose him to the wall. If she couldn't stop Jon from going to the wall then she'd go with him. Yes it'd be very difficult since the wall was no place for a woman but Hope knew she'd find out a way.
"Well if that's what you want. I wish you luck." She said. Hope badly wanted to cup Jon's face with her hand but restrained herself.
"Good night Jon Snow." Saying that she turned around to leave.
"I'll miss you when I leave." Jon said after her. Yes, Hope was still a stranger to him but still somehow he knew that he'd miss her. Jon simply knew it. Though he didn't know why he would. Hope on the other hand smiled to herself and thought in her mind-
"No you won't."
