Dedicated to Itzy68 for being so unfortunately incapacitated at the moment and for being so nice as to review!! =D


"So," Brian asked, still unable to wipe the smug grin off his face, "does Ian know you're here?" He looked around as though expecting to see Ethan appear from somewhere. As if that monogamous, romanticist would be caught dead in somewhere as sleazy as the baths. Justin just squirmed embarrassedly.

"Didn't think so. So, what? Trouble in paradise?"

"I'm sure paradise is just fine," Justin scowled.

"But you wouldn't know because you've never been there."

"Not with Ethan but I have been … twice," he grinned and stepped forward, touching Brian's shoulder. Brian looked down at the contact as though checking it were really there. Then, Justin stepped forward and crushed their mouths together in the most passionate of kisses. Brian gave in and kissed back fighting for dominance and gaining it until eventually he'd had enough and he pushed Justin away. The kid just smiled and began attacking Brian's shoulder and neck like a hungry puppy. Brian let him continue for a while before putting a hand roughly in his hair and putting his lips to Justin's ears.

"Sorry," he said, "I'm not a home wrecker." And with that, he walked away, leaving Justin yearning for more.

Justin left the baths almost immediately. His brain was spinning faster than ever before. He couldn't concentrate. He couldn't think properly. He walked as fast as he could, his feet moving one step in front of the other with no conscious control from him. It was as though he were on autopilot like this was a predetermined location. He ended up at Ethan and Daphne's flat. He knocked on the door and Daphne answered.

"Where've you been?" she asked.

"Hell," Justin muttered.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really, is Ethan in?"

"Of course. Can't you hear him?"

Justin listened and could hear the screeches of violin music filling the flat. He nodded and smiled a little. "So, let me in?"

Daphne just stepped aside and Justin walked into the flat, straight into Daphne's room and flopped dramatically onto her bed.

"Aren't you here to see Ethan?"

"Later," he frowned.

"Okay," she sighed, falling onto the bed next to him, "what's happened?"

"I've seen Brian."

"Course you have. And what did he have to say for himself?"

Justin lifted his head of the mattress and looked at Daphne a strangled expression on his face.

"Shit," Daphne breathed. "How bad was it? What did he say?"

"It's not what he said … it's where I saw him."

"Justin, what are you talking about?"

Justin sighed and allowed his neck to go weak and his head to fall against the mattress.

"Well?" she encouraged. Justin sighed and began to explain about the meeting at the baths. Daphne had been less than impressed. She'd just asked 'what the hell were you doing there' over and over until Justin had shouted at her to shut her up. Daphne held up her hands in surrender before suggesting they talk about something else.

Justin woke up with Ethan the next morning and shut his eyes as he readied himself for yet another day of feigning happy families.

Justin walked to his lecture, Ethan's fingers entwined tightly in his. He was hoping Ethan wouldn't mention the fact his palm's were sweaty and he was trembling when Brian rounded the corner. The lecturer spotted them together and raised a bemused eyebrow.

"Afternoon Taylor and…"

"Ethan," Ethan smiled, "Ethan Gold."

"Are you in my class Mr Gold?"

"Erm, no sir. I'm just walking my boyfriend."

"Would you have got lost without the extra help?" Brian asked Justin politely. "Maybe you'd have accidentally stumbled into the baths."

"Fuck off," Justin scowled.

"Justin!" Ethan gasped.

"Now, now Taylor," Brian smiled, "where are you manners? You say 'fuck off please'."

Justin narrowed his eyes and shook his head a little. He was pretty sure he'd never understand Brian Kinney but as long as the older man kept looking like that he wasn't sure he'd ever need to or even want to.

It had been almost three weeks since Justin had seen Brian at the baths and although it had been as difficult as kicking an addiction he was finally able to get through an entire Saturday without daydreaming about Brian. At night, it was a different story. At night, Brian invaded every fibre of his being and in the lectures, he still sat drooling but it was getting easier … a bit.

Ethan was a decent distraction. He always had so many little romantic outings planned, trips to the country, picnics in the park. One on one Violin recitals in his bedroom but none of it was right. None of it was what Justin really wanted. Brian had been right, he was getting bored with romantic perfection.

He went to Babylon every now and again to try and inject some excitement into his life but it was so hard to stay monogamous to Ethan when they were all these gorgeous men, flirting with him and buying him drinks. And then there was Brian. He'd spotted him every time he'd gone, usually he was fucking half the dance floor with a single look before picking out the one for that evening and dragging them off to the backroom or the toilets or the alley at the back of the clubs or sometimes just right there in the middle of the dance floor. Justin couldn't watch, knowing he could never feel that again. It burnt to much.

Justin watched Brian strolling around the seminar group. He'd worn a sleeveless shirt and had told the six members of his class not to tell the Dean as it would be deemed unprofessional but Justin hadn't really heard anything else he'd just watched the muscles in his arms and shoulders rippling as he'd spoken about … whatever it was he'd spoken about. As the lesson came to an end, Brian asked if Justin could wait to discuss his assignment.

Justin's heart skipped a beat. He wondered what Brian wanted. Justin's assignment used to be an excuse to get Justin on his own, out of earshot of his class mates. So as the door shut he asked,

"Problem Brian?" And tried not to squeak or choke the words as he desperately stopped himself from ripping Brian's shirt off right there.

"Not at all. You've done incredibly well," he said, handing over the assignment folder. "You were the only person in that seminar group to pass with a grade high enough for my standards."

Justin leafed through the notes and mark scheme.

"Wait, I haven't lost any marks for it being late."

Brian said nothing.

"Did you…?"

Again nothing.

"Wow. Thanks," Justin smiled, putting the folder in his bag. "Was, er, was that it?"

"Yeah. Unless, there's any other work related discussion we need to have."

Justin just shook his head and went to leave.

"So am I not even going to get a proper explanation as to why you were at the baths?" Brian asked calmly. Justin span round to find Brian still pouring over sheets and sheets of important looking papers. If Justin didn't know any better he'd assume he'd imagined Brian's question.

"Do you care?"

"I asked, didn't I?"

"You were right, okay?"

"Ahh, my three favourite words … after, of course, nine inches cut."

"Of course," smiled Justin, moving slowly back into the room.

"So what was I right about?"

"Ethan?"

"The boring boyfriend," Brian translated smugly, a subtle smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah," sighed Justin, sitting in the chair opposite Brian. "He won't leave me alone. He wants us to go everywhere together and be in all the same places. He won't leave my side."

Brian just laughed, "relationships, more trouble than they're worth. That's why I don't do them."

"Ever?"

"There was one guy, once but I was young and naïve … so was he. I think I only felt that way coz he was the only other gay guy in knew and … I was desperate to fuck something."

"Some things never change."

"Hmm, well … I never really fucked him and I never really loved him so…. It turned out to be nothing more than the platonic love of a best friend. A brother."

"Are you talking about Michael?"

"You're a clever little shit, aren't you?"

"I've got a good teacher." Brian smiled a little but just about managed to quash it before it turned into a full-blown grin. "So, if you're not looking for a relationship, what are you looking for?" Justin asked.

"What every honest to god gay man is looking for, a great fuck with a hot guy."

"Looks like we have something in common," Justin smiled.

"Looks like we do."

--

Justin and Brian flopped back into the cushions together and chuckled a little, happy in their moment of post-coital bliss where nothing and no one else mattered and it was just them. But as always, the false perfection was broken. Justin's phone hummed a strange melody into the air and he reached over lazily to pick it up. He slid it open and was about to read it when he felt the phone being plucked from his fingers. He rolled onto his side as he watched Brian open the message and smirk with disapproval as he read the text aloud.

"Come home soon. I miss you. All my love. E. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss … Hang on, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen kisses … God that's pathetic."

"Shut up," Justin said, snatching the phone back and staring at the words as he tried to come up with a reply. He thought in silence for a moment or two, drafting and redrafting a text. What is the perfect thing to say to the boy you're dating who you don't even like that much whilst in bed with the man you love? Hello, Ethan … no, too formal. Yo, … no, too like a ten year old in the 90's. Ethan, I'll be home soon. Stop worrying xx … that would do.

"So, you gonna end things with him?"

"No," sighed Justin, pressing the send button and watching the send bar fill up with green as the phone confirmed his message had been delivered."So you're gonna keep stringing him along?" Brian asked, leaning over to pull a cigarette from packet on the bedside table.

Justin looked up as Brian settled back into his cushions and lit up.

"Why?" he frowned, "do you give a shit?"

Brian just took a particularly long drag of his cigarette and said nothing.

"Oh my god, you do," Justin beamed. "You give a shit."

"Shut the fuck up," Brian snapped, before returning to his smoke as though the outburst hadn't happened.

Justin just smiled, trying to think of something else to stop him from grinning too widely. He shifted closer to Brian and put his head on his shoulder. Brian didn't stop him. Justin plucked the cigarette from between Brian's teeth and took a drag himself before replacing it. He breathed the smoke out very slowly, savouring the taste.

"I don't love him, you know," he said, after a while. "I just … if people think he and I are together then no one will suspect us of being together."

"We're not together," Brian answered almost immediately. It was a knee jerk reaction, Justin knew that. He also knew that Brian was still convincing himself that Justin was no different to any other trick but Justin knew the truth. He knew he was the guy, the only guy, that Brian fucked more than once. But it wasn't worth annoying him with these facts so he just played Brian's games ... because that made him happy.

"I know," Justin nodded, his hair tickling Brian's neck. "We're just … fucking."

He pressed a kiss against the closest part of bare skin and looked up. Brian looked funny from this angle, all jaw and nose but he was still beautiful. Justin didn't ever want to leave. He just wanted to stay, cuddled up against Brian's chest forever. Sooner or later, Brian would move to get up. He'd tell Justin to get moving so they wouldn't arrive at college at the same time and then he'd rush to the shower expecting Justin to be gone by the time he came out but none of that mattered right now. All that mattered was this, holding Brian and being with Brian and loving Brian.


Justin's visits to Brian's loft began to become a more regular thing but Justin didn't tell anyone where he was going; not even Daphne. He disguised it instead as a extra class he'd taken on. It wasn't entirely a lie. Brian had helped with some of his work now and again, when he was really stuck and his work time was taking away from their fucking time.

Strangely, it was Chris Hobbs that Justin found it most difficult to lie to. Chris knew that Justin was hardly spending any nights in his own bed anymore and Justin couldn't even use Ethan as an excuse because he knew how Chris felt about fags. Instead, he claimed he was going out to the clubs and just happened to be getting lucky every single night. Chris seemed to think he'd found some kind of God of women and just kept pestering Justin to take him with him next time he went out, so he too could get in on the hot chick action.

Brian looked at his clock. He wasn't counting down the minutes until Justin would arrive he just wondered when it would be, that was all. He was usually here by now and Brian had had a brilliant idea involving ice-cream that he wanted to try. He couldn't believe it had become such a regular thing with this kid. He wasn't even sure how it had happened or how it had kept happening. He told himself every time that it was the last time and yet they were still doing it, hiding, lying, sneaking behind everyone's backs. Maybe that was why, maybe it was the thrill of forbidden fucking that made it so fun and desirable … it had to be that. There was no other reason Brian could think of.

Eventually, there was an undignified hammering at his door that could only be caused by Justin. Brian got to his feet and strolled casually over and slid it open. Justin almost fell through the door and Brian slid it shut behind him.

"Been running?" Brian asked, as the kid, sweating and panting kicked off his shoes and unzipped his jumper, throwing it to the floor.

"Yeah," he grinned, attacking Brian's lips with his own. "I thought I was being followed but I threw them off."

Brian pushed the kid to arm's length.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. Now … fuck me. Please," he pleaded. "I want you inside me."

Brian couldn't say no to begging like that and within seconds they were on the floor naked. At that moment, there was a knock at the door and Brian groaned loudly as he dragged himself to his feet, instructing Justin to not.

"Are you sure you weren't followed?" Brian demanded, as he put his hand on the door.

"Yeah. Quick get rid of them."

Brian slid the door open a fraction, so that he could pop his head out whilst hiding the rest of the flat from view. Outside his door was a boy he didn't recognise. He guessed he was probably in college, at least he looked about nineteen. His mouth hung open a little, giving him a somewhat stupid appearance but he wasn't altogether ugly. Maybe he'd see if Justin wanted a threeway.

"Who the fuck are you?" the kid demanded … or maybe not.

"Isn't that my line," Brian asked, "seeing as you knocked on my door.?

"My names Chris." Justin's heart sank and he shook his head furiously, hoping Brian would notice. "Is Justin here?"

Brian turned to see Justin's panicked face and asked, "who?"

"Justin Taylor. He's my flatmate. He's got some secret fox somewhere, apparently she's really hot, proper huge tits."

"Really?" Smirked Brian. "Well, I'm not a … what was it, a hot fox with huge tits? And I live here so…."

"But I swear I saw him come in here. Wait … you haven't got any clothes on."

"Wow, you're smart. You really are in college."

"Oh my god," Chris said, a hideous sneer taking over his features. "He's a fucking queer."

"Who is?" Brian asked, though he had a suspicion playing dumb might not work anymore.

"Taylor. He's in here," Chris announced pushed the door open. He groaned as the sights of the room hit him, Brian stood wearing nothing at all and Justin running to the bedroom to try and hide.

"Urgh. You're gonna die Taylor," he shouted. "And you are," he addressed Brian, "all queers get aids and die in the end."

Next second Chris found himself slammed against the wall. Brian's fist bunching his shirt as he held him tight.

"What was that?" Brian asked.

"Nothing," Chris gasped out.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you."

"Nothing," he repeated a little louder.

"I thought not," he let him go and Chris ran out of the loft and down the stairs shouting, "I'll get you for this. Both of you."

Brian managed to reassure Justin there would be any problems as far as Chris was concerned. He was fairly sure Chris wouldn't know Brian was a lecturer so they couldn't get in trouble.

"But I live with him. He's gonna kick the shit out of me when I next see him."

"That's … not my problem."

"But it's your fault, if you'd got rid of him, he'd never have seen me."

"He followed you to my flat," Brian pointed out.

"But…"

"You can stay for one night," Brian sighed, "but tomorrow, you find another arraignment."

That had been two weeks ago and still Justin was living with him, using his shower, eating his food, sleeping in his bed and even sharing his tricks.

Lectures seemed like a waste now. Justin was pretty sure he couldn't learn a thing with Brian teaching him. He'd spend all day with Daphne and Ethan pretending he was in love and monogamous. He'd avoid Chris like elephants avoid mice, before going back to Brian's at night and fucking his brains out all night. It was everything he wanted but he wasn't truly happy. He wanted to be able to dance in Babylon with Brian, to hand out at Woody's together and not to have pretend they hardly know each other all the time. He wanted to get rid of Ethan but that wasn't an option either. He needed people to believe he was in a happy relationship. There'd been too many close calls already, a quickie in the stationary cupboard, blowjobs in the toilets and Brian's office. They couldn't help themselves, when they were together something animal took over and they just had to fulfil their instincts.

Justin was attempting to take notes when it happened. There was a knock at the lecture theatre door and Dean Vance walked in, red-faced and angry as hell.

"Kinney, can I see you in my office?"

"Let me just finish this…."

"NOW!"

Brian nodded slowly and excused himself from the class.

"What was that about?" Daphne hissed in Justin's ear. The boy just shrugged. Brian hadn't mentioned anything to him but he didn't seem too bothered. It was probably nothing.

"Kinney," Vance began slowly. "You're a good lecturer…"

"The best."

"… and god knows I've allowed you liberties that some members of the faculty just don't have."

"Liberties?"

"I deter rumours of your recreational drug usage, I guide people away from discovering your infamous promiscuity and I go out of my way to defend you to the conservative parents, who don't want their kids being taught by a …." he trailed off.

"A what?" Brian demanded, "a queer? A fag?"

"Well…" Vance nodded slightly.

"Who I fuck," Brian said stonily, "is none of their business … or yours."

"Well, that's where you're wrong, Kinney. It's very much my business when the person you're fucking is a student; Justin Taylor."

Brian just raised an eyebrow. "Where do you get this information?" he scorned, "some kid who doesn't like the fact I failed his assignment? Or maybe a faculty member who doesn't like my salary?" Or Chris fucking Hobbs? Damn, he knew he should have been more careful.

"The source of the information is not important."

"Of course it is! This is slander, I could have this guy sued. I will have him sued. Was the tip off anonymous?"

"Not exactly but I wouldn't feel comfortable relaying that information."

"Well, then get comfortable, if someone is out to ruin my career, I wanna know who it is."

"I can't tell you. All I can tell you is that they saw you in Babylon together."

Babylon? Maybe it wasn't Chris then but still, seeing someone in Babylon isn't reason to assume they're fucking. After all,

"Babylon is the biggest gay night club in Pittsburgh … the only gay night club in Pittsburgh! I see Justin there all the time. I also see that twink Adam Beverly from Meryl's class and that football jock Peter Dutton, are you gonna accuse me of improper relations with them too?"

"The tip off didn't mention those students."

"Mmmm, so what? If I see one of my students outside the lecture theatre I'm supposed to … what? Ignore them? I thought we lived in a free country, meaning I can talk to whoever I want. Now, if you're done wasting my time, I have a class to teach.""No, no, no. You're suspended until further notice."

"WHAT!?"

"Collect your things Kinney. You're going home."

"What the…?"

"Oh and send Taylor to my office please, I need to hear what he has to say."

"Of course, just … one thing."

"What?"

"Who gave you the information, was in Professor Bob Holkin, he's been trying to get me to fuck him for years. Is this his revenge?"

"No."

"Meryl?"

"No."

"Who then?"

"A Mr Novotny, now get out of my office."

"Wait. Novotny?"

"Yes … someone you know?"

"Yeah, sort of. He's been waiting his life entire to fuck me … looks like he just done it."


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