Happy Birthday, Lana! And a big thank-you to everyone who keeps up with this story :) I love that you guys love it.
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Peeta's POV:
The sound of the cannon blasts around me, and for a moment I close my eyes and pretend that this is just another of my nightmares. My nightmares of my first Games have dissapeared a little bit, but right now I wish they hadn't. I wish that this is all that's happening, that I'm only having a bad dream and will wake up in a cold sweat momentarily.
But I know it isn't one of them, because I can physically feel my chest constricting and almost suffocating me again. The pain bites at my heart over and over again until finally, it crumples under the weight and sinks to the pit of my stomach, there to stay until I see her again - if I see her again.
My eyes are stinging and I can feel my body trembling, but the only thing I can register is that Katniss is gone, and a cannon has gone off. I'm not sure how many tributes are left, but it seems too ironic that one should go off right as Katniss and I seperate.
It has to be somebody else. It has to be somebody else. I feel bad wishing for somebody else's death, but I can't help it. If anything happened to Katniss, I'd never be able to live again - let alone breathe. She's all that keeps me from falling to pieces, and having her gone would be like ripping me in half. That's what it feels like now, actually.
"Peeta! Peeta!" Somebody is calling for me, but it isn't the voice I need to hear and so I can't move from my spot. Footsteps run towards me, and even still, I can't do anything but stand here dumbstruck and horrified.
A sudden sharp pain to the side of my face breaks me out of my trance. "Snap out of it! We need to get out of here!" Finnick yells. He raises his hand to slap me again, but I jump away from him and scream Katniss' name at the top of my lungs. Even to my own ears the sound is awful, filled with torment and heartbreak. But I can't take it anymore. I sink to my knees and start sobbing into my hands. I've just fallen to the ground as the first of the wet drops soak into the back of my t-shirt.
At first I don't acknoledge the wetness, too wrapped up in my own pain to pay too much attention to it. But after a few minutes, the rain starts falling so hard that it's practically impossible for me to not notice it. My eyes and mouth are squeezed shut as I break down, but eventually I have to take a breath and I open my mouth.
The wetness immediately pours onto my tongue, and the sharp, copper taste of it makes my eyes fly open. Blood. There's no doubt about it.
Finnick knows it, too, because he forces me to my feet. Through the tears and blood soaking in my eyes, I am able to see red streaks falling down from the sky, bright and alarming against the dark clouds. Its scent overwhelms me, and I am in serious danger of passing out. From the smell. From the taste. From my fear. From my worry.
The world itself seems as if it's choking me. It feels too small all of a sudden, as if it's shrunken and closed into a small box around me, with all of it's smells and polutions and horrors. It's all closing in on me quickly, and my breathing becomes hitched. My head blurs and I fall again, this time into Finnick. He tries to get me to stand up again and run, but it's no use; there's no chance I'll be able to keep up with him.
I tell him to go on without me, but my voice falls on deaf ears against the wind. He continues to hoist my body over his shoulders, but my weight is too heavy for him and we both know it. He's forced to put me back down onto the ground. Squeezing my eyes shut, I open my mouth and scream, "GO!" as loud as I possibly can. My throat burns as the word leaves me, but the message has finally gotten across.
"I can't just leave you here!" he yells back. There's something about his eyes that have changed, but I can't quite place it. It must just be the panic of everything that's going on. After all, the Gamemakers have sent horrible creatures into the arena with us, a cannon has just sounded, the sky is raining blood, and lightning is shooting down every few seconds. We could get hit at any second - our lives could end any second.
But what should I care by now? Katniss hasn't found us, and if I know her well enough I know that she would have run back as soon as she'd taken care of the creature. She wouldn't leave me here to fight alone, without anything to protect me against all of the Capitol's ploys. Surely she would have returned to me; no blood rain or lightning would be able to keep her from coming. Unless she had gotten hurt, or...
I squeeze my eyes shut again, but I'm unable to get the horrible image of Katniss' body, burnt and bloodied, out of my head. The metallic taste of blood fills my mouth once again, and in the terrorized state of my mind, I picture it being Katniss'.
No. It can't be, because she isn't dead.
But how can I know this for sure? How can I be certain that with so much going on in the arena right now, she's managed to fight free? And I have no doubt in my mind that the Capitol would use her blood in a moment's notice. Their technologies and endless money has allowed them to do practically whatever they'd like in the past, so why not now? They must know that these are the thoughts going through my head, because the rain begins to pour harder. It slams down into my body, and nothing -not even Finnick- can shield me from it.
"Peeta!" He screams my name again, this time desperately, beckening for me to stand up and run. But I have no fight left in me. Katniss is gone from my side, and I may seem like a coward, but really, she is the only thing that keeps me rooted here, unable to move. The knowledge that there's a big chance of her not being alive anymore sends me into a paralysing frenzy, and now that is just going to get Finnick killed, too.
"Go on!" I yell. My voice sounds inhumane and strained. "I can't take it anymore!"
Finnick is suddenly furious, and I can understand why. "What don't you understand?" he screeches, his eyes flashing. "I can't leave you here to die! She needs you!"
My heart constricts at the referance to Katniss. For a moment I can't answer him as the pain overtakes me again. I can only watch as the blood rain soaks him even more, turning his clothing, skin and hair a discusting red-brown colour. But my throat eventually clears and I'm able to say, "She isn't here anymore."
At first I don't think that he's heard me -I spoke quietly, after all- but when he looks back down at me, his eyes are filled with compassion. "You don't know that. We can't lose hope, not now. She's the biggest fighter out there," he yells to me. I can hardly make out the words, but I manage.
Then, with Finnick's words still echoing in the back of my mind, I realize that he's right. Katniss is the biggest fighter out there, and there's no way in hell that she'd let herself get killed that easily - especially when she has me to fight for, when she has me to worry about.
I won't lose hope for her. Not ever.
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Poor, poor Peeta... or, in our world, Hunter Parrish. Yes? ;D
Just so everyone knows, the official release date for the Hunger Games movie is March 23rd, 2012! Yes! Exactly two days before my birthday (or three, because I'm obviously going to go to the premiere. Duh.) BEST. BIRTHDAY. PRESENT. EVER.
Don't forget to review :)
