Chapter 7: Which proves when it comes to Alyss, You don't mess with this b*****.

The White Queen delicately touched her forehead with a finger, and brought it down to her face. It dripped orange slime. She was silent, then with a snap of the wrist, sent the orange slime spraying all over the table. Eyes on the servant, she slowly smiled. The servant fell to his knees. "Your Majesty I'm sorry I didn't mean to! Please, I have my wife, my beautiful children…" The White Queen sighed. "You shouldn't be so clumsy. You have ruined my dinner. However, I have my vows…" The servant almost collapsed with relief. Thank you, thank you your majesty," He babbled. "Banishment. To the Outlands." The White Queen smiled sweetly. "Your family will accompany you there… I couldn't separate your children from their father." The servant burst into tears, as two guards stepped forward and hoisted him up, dragging him out of the dining hall. His cries echoed through the room, until there was a thump, and then, much more unsettling than the sobs, came an ominous silence.

For a few minutes, the only sound was the forks scraping against the few remaining plates. Alyss sighed, and dropped her fork loudly on her plate. The White Queen glanced up, diverting her attention from what remained of her limp salad. Fast as lightening, the White Queen realized Alyss was about to put her into a spot, and curtly ignoring Alyss, she turned to Alice, smiling nervously. "Alice, my champion. My most loyal and trusted champion. It must be sad to see all your friends going with that girl." Alice squirmed in her seat. Tinker snorted quietly. The White Queen gave him a puzzled look. Alice quickly turned back to her food and started wolfing it down. But it was to no avail. The White Queen had a grip like a pitbull on this conversation, and Alice wasn't going to weasel out of this one. "Alice?" The White Queen smiled, but it never reached her eyes. Alice was looking everywhere but at the White Queen's face.

"Uh... well… That's is an excellent question…" Alice trailed off, toying with a strip of meat. The White Queen smile slowly slid off her perfect face. "It's your name Alice. Not a question. Will you be staying in my court… or not?" Alice gulped. "Er… no. I'm joining…" The White Queen tossed her napkin on top of her plate. "Alice. Are you sure you want to join…" Her eyes strayed to Alyss pointedly. Alice gulped, as Alyss smiled quietly. No, you don't want to join me Alyss. But unfortunately, you really dug yourself into a hole on this one. But to Alyss's surprise, Alice nodded firmly, without a trace of regret. The White Queen, sighed. "I'll be sad to see you all go. It's sad to see that for some of us, loyalty is only a word." Just as she stood, Alyss opened her mouth. The White Queen had started this dinner war, but she was going to be the only who dealt the killing blow... figuratively of course. The White Queen smiled, but Alyss had the eyes of a hawk, and to her satisfaction, there was a shadow of dread in her eyes. "Yes?" She said uncertainly. "What do your vows constitute?" The White Queen breathed a small sigh of relief. "I will never harm or kill another creature." She smiled kindly. Alyss smiled sweetly back, but inside, she was crowing. She her now. "How do you define harm" she asked, her voice dripping with fake curiousity. The White Queen began to relax slightly. "I won't ever hurt them, my dear." Alyss was practically doing a victory dance. That was the exact answer she had wanted! "When you say hurt, do you mean emotionally, physically or socially?" The White Queen looked confused. Alyss plowed on. "Because if you include all of the above, then you have just broken them, haven't you? And if they don't apply, aren't you still harming creatures anyway? Rendering your vows completely pointless to a major extent, because you are still harming them, albeit not killing them… correct?" The White Queen's face was a mixture of confusion, horror and utter blankness, and slow realization that she might have just been insulted. It was a look she recognized well. She put it on a hundred faces everyday.

The White Queen was silent. "I'm terribly sorry to cut this fascinating conversation short, but I am very tired, and it is quite late. Perhaps we can continue this tomorrow?" She finally saked after a few a further word from anyone, she swept around and left the room. Everyone was silent for a moment, then Alyss giggled. Chess and Absolem whipped around, their eyes stern. "You idiot!" Chess hissed, much less eloquent than usual. Absolem however made up for that. "Imbecile! How are you ever going to succeed if you constantly antagonize the ruler of these lands? Is your head filled with sawdust?" Absolem snarled, fluttering his pretty blue wings in what could only be his best attempt at imposing. Alyss was silent. "I wasn't ever planning on winning by being given them," She said angrily. Absolem's eyes flashed. "Why? Why did you have to do it the hard way? You're here to save Underland, not rip it into tiny bitesized pieces and burn them!" Alyss rolled her eyes. "Oh please. You are so melodramatic for an Oracle. And people say I'm the one who is supposed to make mountains out of molehills." Absolem's eyes bulged. "Melodramatic? MELODRAMATIC? You're causing the end of the world, and you say I'm melodramatic?" Alyss sighed. "Absolem." Absolem was still working himself up into a frezy. "Absolem." Absolem was still seething, which was a bad idea, because Alyss hated to be ignored. Unless she was stealing things. Then it was fine. "ABSOLEM!" She yelled, her voice booming around the wide room. Absolem stopped and stared at her. "Now that I have your attention, I have a suggestion to make. As Absolem has kindly pointed out, I- I mean, we, have overstayed our welcome-" "We've only been here for an hour," Alice grumbled. Alyss sighed.

"Yes, but the White Queen has a very short fuse, and gets worked up over the smallest things-"

"You called her a murderer!"

"Only because it's true!"

"And naïve and ignorant!"

"Because she is!"

Alice shook her head and sighed. Alyss ran a hand through her hair, but stopped when she reach something sticky. Pulling her fingers away, she stared at the orange slime, glistening on her fingers. Maybe the White Queen had been right to banish that servant. He had ruined her hair! Hatter cleared his throat. "So, Alyss. What are we going to do exactly?" Alyss who had been squelching her fingers together, looked up. "Well… I think that we should go to our respective rooms, pack our stuff and meet outside in two hours, when it's completely dark." Chess smiled. "Done. Where do we meet?" Alyss thought for a moment. "Which entrance is closest to the Red Queen's castle?" She asked Hatter. "That would be the forest one," Hatter replied. Alyss nodded. "The forest one then. Er… where is it?" She asked Hatter again. "It's the one closest to the forest," Hatter explained gently. Alyss grinned. Of course it was. Smiling at everyone, she slipped off her shoes (torture devices more like,) and ran up the three flights of stairs, keeping up a sprint all the way to the top. Without pausing at the top, she made a beeline for her room. If being a felon did anything for you, it kept you fit.

Sending the door flying, she rushed into the bathroom, taking down the bottle of goop she'd washed her hair with earlier. She was taking this. The White Queen could consider it a parting gift. Grabbing a pillowcase, she gently putthe bottle in at the bottom. Gently peeling off the red dress, she folded it delicately, then put it in the bag. Slipping on her old rags, she couldn't help but feel a little more relaxed. Why the most beautiful dresses weren't designed for running she'd never know. At that moment, there was a sharp knock on her door. Carefully, Alyss slipped the pillowcase under the bed, before wrapping a silk robe around herself. Tying the belt casually, she took a few deep breaths before she flounced to the door, and pulled it open a crack. Two card guards stepped in. They were slightly bigger than the two cards that had come earlier, and they weren't smiling. Please don't look under the bed Alyss hoped. She really didn't want to break any arms after the poshest night of her life. But the guards weren't remotely interested in her bed. They bowed deeply, though one only made it halfway before getting stuck. "My lady." They said in unison, before straightening up. "We are of what once was the 1st legion." One boomed. "We're the best soldiers here!" The other piped up. The first one gave the other a patronizing look. "I am Siez, and this… is Sevin." Sevin grinned. "Once, we served under the Red Queen. Although her ideas were questionable, we were treated well, and our armour wasn't half as awful as it is now." Siez bowed low. Sevin, without missing a beat, picked up where Siez had left off. "Under the White Queen's rule, we are treated like scum, and our armour has been ruined." Siez sighed. Clearly Sevin wasn't as articulate as he had wanted. "We wish to pledge ourselves to you, my lady, as does every card soldier in this castle. Will you accept our humble offer?" Alyss was speechless. She had followers? Who weren't carrying pitchforks? Amazing. However, her mind instantly started whirring as Siez spoke. "I accept your most gracious offer Siez and Sevin. How many guards like yourselves are here in this castle?" Sevin grinned. "There are 45 guards in this castle, who feel that you are their ruler, my lady." Alyss nodded. "Including you two?" Siez and Sevin nodded. "And how many guards loyal to the White Queen?" Alyss asked. "70, your highness." Siez answered quickly, while Sevin counted on his fingers. Alyss smiled. So, the White Queen wasn't entirely stupid.

"I want to tell you something" She said lowly. "Something secret." Both guards leant forward. "In two hours time, me and my companions will be leaving this castle." Siez straightened. "You will accompanied by us all, Princess." He said softly. Alss shook her head. "No. I want only you two to accompany me. The rest of the guard must stay here. Make it look as though you deserted your posts and came with me of your own accord. It is very important that the White Queen doesn't know that you all are ready to pledge yourselves to me," She said quickly. Sevin looked a little lost, but Siez's eyes lit up. "I'm glad you don't have sawdust in your head, Princess." He smiled. Sevin look at both of them. "What do you mean? Why-" Slowly, realization spread over his face. "Oh! You don't want her to realize in case it comes to-" Siez bonked him hard on the head. "When she said secret, it means you don't yell it off the rooftops you idiot!" Siez snarled.

Sevin opened his mouth to argue, but shut it like a trap, just before Alyss could hear light footsteps coming down the hall. Siez and Sevin melted away, disappearing to the balcony. At that moment there was a timid knock on the door, before a maid opened it quietly, sticking her head around. Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of Alyss in her complimentary bathrobe. "Oh.. miss I am so sorry" She stammered, starting to close the door. Alyss suddenly had an idea. "Wait," She said. The maid froze. "Would you mind bring me a bucket, soap and a scrubbing brush? Oh, and some red and black paint." The maid looked at her quiazzically. "I want to paint my nails," Alyss said quickly. The maid slowly nodded. "Oh, and bring a big bucket of paint… It's been a really long time since I did my nails." The maid looked very confused, but quietly closed the door and hurried down the hall. Siez and Sevin stepped out from the balcony. "What do you want those things for?" Sevin asked. Alyss smiled. "Lets just say… the guard needs a makeover."