Chapter Seven
Finn
My last words to Rachel? I said "I'm sorry, I just don't love you anymore."
Which was such bullshit. I loved her. I still do. I love her so much it just hurts. It hurts so much because I have all that love and she's just not here anymore. She killed herself. She's gone. And now she'll never know how I truly felt about her.
I realized I was being a hypocrite with the whole Puck thing. I kissed Rachel twice while I was dating Quinn and that was before I even knew about Puck being the father. And Rachel... I made her feel insecure. She didn't feel like she was enough. And, Puck did that. Puck could always do that.
I was just... pissed. It just made me so mad that I've only ever loved two girls, and I drove both of them into Puck's arms. I'd rather act like there was something wrong with them then think that it was something I did. But it was.
I never made Rachel feel like she was enough. I told her I loved her in spite of her craziness. I didn't listen to her. I rolled my eyes at her. I chose popularity over her time and time again and then she made one little mistake, and I couldn't take her back? I loved her. I love her.
I should have told her how she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, that she is so funny even when she doesn't mean to be, that I love how she lights up when she's talking about something she loves, that I love her crazy, how her voice could make me forget any problems I had because it was just so beautiful, and that I love how even though everyone stomped all over her, she just ignored them and kept getting back up again.
But, none of those things are true anymore. Because she's gone and she's never coming back. I always made her feel like she wasn't enough and then when I told her I couldn't take her back, that I just didn't love her anymore? I made her feel like she was nothing. She thought no one would care if she were gone but I care, I care so much and it kills me. I'm left with a broken heart but I left Rachel with so much worse.
It was my fault. I killed Rachel Berry. And her death will forever be on my hands.
A/N: Only two chapters left! Puck and then one from everybody. I'm excited for Puck. I'm going to talk about who found her and what the note said. I'm probably gonna cry writing it because Puck is just... :( Anyway, review please!
