Spirit Bros
Saturday, 5:30 am
Around this time Bardock woke up. So, he decided to wake up his two women friends and showed them the way out. As Bardock was still in the living-room, were he let the hores out, he was thinking about his son, Raditz, and was worried about him for some reason. He decided to sit on the couch in the living-room, and wait for him to come home. And there he was, left alone with his thoughts…
"Why man, why must I be like, a total dick? I like just smoked up all my son's weed. I'm such a dumbass, not Raditz! To be honest to myself, I don't really think that Raditz is a dumbass at all, like HELL NO! Raditz is like the smartest person I ever met! I'm only hard on him, calling him dumbass and stuff, because I'm a dumbass myself. I'm lazy, I'm a drunk, I'm a liar and a thief, but most importantly I'm a dumbass. And I call Raditz everything that I am because I love him. I do it so that he won't be one. I do it so that he won't grow up and be like ME! And I know he hates me because of it, not knowing that I do it on purpose. But I'd rather have my son hate me and grow up to have a good life, then to have him love me and have a bad one."
6:00 am
Raditz was lying in bed with his best friend, Panini, when he woke up. Raditz looked around the room and realized he was still at Panini's apartment. He had his arms wrapped around her waist and his nose touching the back of her neck. Raditz looked up to see what time it was. The clock said 6:00 am. Raditz quickly moved his arms from around her waist and got out of bed. He quickly and quietly picked up his clothes from off the floor, grabbed his still damp towel and the rest of the extra marijuana, and left into the living room. There he began to get dressed and left out the door. In the hallway, he was on the 3rd floor and had to get to the 7th floor to be at his dads apartment. Once there, he used his key to let himself in.
"Raditz!", said Bardock, "Where the hell were you at. Do you know that it's six o'clock in the morning!"
"I was over Panini's apartment", said Raditz looking very dizzy and sleepy. "She called me over there."
"Oh!", said Bardock shyly, because he doesn't like to talk about Raditz's personal life, "But you left your baby brother alone."
"I know what I did! At first, I said no, when Panini called me, but then mom called me and told me that you were harassing her at work again. So I called Panini back and told her I'll be there. What were you doing at the bar, Bardock!"
"Why did you trust me in the first place Raditz! You knew I was gonna get drunk", said Bardock, "And why did you bring your towel with you."
Raditz was holding his towel in a way to hide the marijuana. He was thinking that his weed must be very strong smelling, because that's all he'd been smelling ever since he walk into his dad's apartment.
"I went swimming dad", said Raditz, "And why did you trash the living-room?"
"You didn't go swimming. I don't see your swimming suit", said Bardock.
"I didn't need it dad, now about the living-room", asked Raditz.
"Hey man, the whole house is like, trashed", said Bardock.
"Why?", asked Raditz.
"Come into the bedroom with me first", said Bardock.
As Raditz was following Bardock they passed by the dirty kitchen, filled with dirty dishes, but no food. In the bedroom Raditz could see everything, the blood stains in the carpet, a knife on the floor, the destroyed bathroom door on the floor, a little boy in his dad's bed, and poor little hungry tailless Kakarot.
Raditz: Dad why is there a little boy in your bed?
Bardock: Oh, that's just Prince Vegeta.
Raditz: Why is Prince Vegeta in your bed.
Bardock: King Vegeta said he'd give me that raise if I baby-sit his son for the weekend. So I said yes, of course. But I now realize it was a trap, the boy's a demon. But after we "hung out" a bit, I think he likes me a little more.
Raditz: Okay, but how did all this happen.
Bardock: Here, I'll explain. First, Vegeta cut off Kakarot's tail, I got mad. So then, we fought in the bedroom, he won and I was coughing up blood. Then, I took a bath. Next, we ate all the food in the kitchen. And last, we fell asleep.
Raditz: That three-year-old boy won in a fight against you!
Bardock: He's four, and yes.
Raditz: You're an idiot. How did you wreck the whole apartment? And how did you guys eat a weeks worth of food?
Bardock: Daa… The party did it… I mean, the fight did it! The fight wreck the whole apartment. And we were VERY hungry after the fight.
Raditz: You said you guys fought in the bedroom right? So how did you wreck the living-room?
Bardock: I don't know. The ki blasts did it…?
Just then, Vegeta woke up and had his eyes on Raditz.
Vegeta: Is this your son, Bardock?
Bardock: Yeah, that's Raditz.
Vegeta: What was he doing all night?
Bardock: Lets just say, Dewey did it! Dewey did it all night long!
Vegeta: Who's Dewey?
Raditz: DAD! YOUR TALKING TO A FOUR-YOUR-OLD BOY! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?
Vegeta: Hey, don't yell at my SPIRIT BRO like that!
Raditz: SPIRIT BRO! What's a SPIRIT BRO!?
Bardock: Me and Vegeta became spirit bros last night. It's like, we're brothers, but in spirit. Vegeta came up with the name, it's pretty awesome.
Raditz: NO IT'S NOT! IT'S FUCKING RETARDED! What's up with you! You're acting like five times the retard you us to be.
Vegeta: It's the weed man, it like changes you.
Raditz: What did you just say?
Bardock: Vegeta man, NO! You like just blow are cover, man!
Raditz: Are you saying that you two went messing with MY "STUFF"! WAIT A MINUTE, YOU LET THE FOUR-YEAR-OLD PRINCE HAVE SOME!?
Vegeta: No man, I didn't have some. We like, totally split it in half, dude.
Raditz: DAD, YOU'RE A RETARD! AND THE BOY'S STILL HIGH, RIGHT NOW!
Bardock: Tss… I'm still high too. And you're acting like I gave him crack or something.
Vegeta: What's crack?
Bardock: I don't really know, but I think it's better then weed though. I'll have to get some for us, spirit bro.
Vegeta: That sounds COOL! Better then WEED! WOW!
Raditz: NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO TURN ARE FUTURE KING INTO A CRACK HEAD! YOU TWO, GO BACK TO BED, RIGHT NOW! I NEED TO CLEAN YOUR MESS, SO GO BACK TO BED, NOW!
Bardock: Okay, okay. We'll go to bed. But what are we gonna eat tomorrow. Like, no food or no money.
Raditz: Don't worry about that, go to bed.
Vegeta: Hey Bardock, you know how I'm like your spirit bro, well doesn't that mean I'm Raditz's spirit uncle, right. But Raditz should be like, our spirit mom. He acts like a mom, and he has long hair like a mom.
Bardock: Yeah, that makes sense spirit bro, so how about it spirit mom.
Raditz: GO TO BED YOU TWO POTHEADS!
Vegeta and Bardock: Okay, spirit mom.
The two idiots did as Raditz ordered, and fell a sleep. Raditz cleaned the living-room, washed the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the bathroom, got the blood stains out of the carpet, picked up the knife, and picked up every last piece of the bathrooms broken door.
Raditz: Because of those potheads, the bathroom doesn't even have a door any more. And Kakarot is tailless and hungry. They even ate the baby food! I think Panini can help though. But I don't even wanna call her, she'll be mad at me for leaving her. To bad for me.
Raditz called his best friend Panini on his phone.
Raditz: Good morning, Panini.
Panini: Raditz, is that you! Why did you leave me!? I told you to stay with me, I've been feeling bad spirits everywhere! I'm scared!
Raditz: My dad called me up, he wanted me home. But I need to borrow some money for groceries. Oh yeah, and can my little brother stay with you for the rest of the weekend?
Panini: Of course, little Kakarot is always welcome here. And I don't want to be here alone, with the bad spirits in the house. And I'll give you the money if you give me the rest of your pot. (Panini's a real pothead.)
Raditz: Alright, deal. Be sure to feed my little brother, he's very hungry.
Panini: Alright then I'll be there for the baby and the pot. I'll be sure to bring the money.
8:45 am
Baby Kakarot is now at Panini's apartment and so is the last bit of Raditz's marijuana. Raditz now has money for groceries, which he will go grocery shopping later.
Raditz was so sleepy that he decided to get in his top bunk bed and sleep with his moron of a father. There the three sleepy Saiyans lie.
Next chapter is about their dreams.
