Jacob woke up to his mother downstairs in the kitchen, going through the icebox and shelves, seemingly taking inventory. He frowned as he watched her write on a pad, oblivious to his presence. As far as he knew, they were the only ones awake. Max and Olivia were probably exhausted from all of the traveling. He would be asleep too, but his mind was too busy thinking about the recent discovery of his not so dead biological father. So far, he kind of liked him. He just wondered what affect the new discovery had on his mother, who seemed to have taken up making lists.
Finally, he cleared his throat, announcing his presence. "Momma, what are you doing? Are you making breakfast? Is that what he wants you to do in exchange for us staying here?"
Rose looked up, blinking in surprise. She hadn't expected Jacob to be awake so early. Maybe Jack, because she didn't know his sleeping habits, but Jacob usually wasn't an early riser.
"Oh, no. I mean, I could make breakfast, but wanted to make that tuna casserole you liked so much. I was just making sure that we had all that we needed...but we don't. I'm going to need some things from that store we had visited yesterday. And no, I'm not doing this because Jack expects me to. He made it clear that he doesn't want any payment. But, still I want to. I want us to pull our own weight around here. Besides, I want to kind of show off my skills. When we first knew each other, I was a first class girl who probably couldn't last a week in an artists garret. But now...I'm not so helpless. I want him to see that."
"He probably already knows," Jacob chuckled, kissing his mother's cheek. "I'll go to the store if you like. Just give me the list and the money."
Rose frowned, not really liking the idea of sending her son off to the store in a town he hadn't been in since he was a small child. Chippewa Falls was indeed a quiet, charming town. He probably wouldn't run into any danger here like he would in New York, but one could never be too careful.
"I don't know, Jacob. I mean...you're not familiar with the area and..."
"I'll become familiar with it. Come on momma. He was my age and knew his way around the world. I'm not asking to go around the world. I'm just asking to go to the store."
Rose sighed. Jacob was so much like Jack...and in a way, that was why she was holding on to him so tightly. She didn't want to lose him like she had his father. But Jack was back, so maybe...maybe it was okay to start to let go. To not hold on to her adventurous son so tightly.
Making up her mind, Rose walked into the living room, where her purse sat and opened it up to pull out two dollars and handed it to her grinning son along with the list. "This should be enough to get everything on the list. Don't be too long."
Jacob grinned, happy that he didn't have to work too hard to convince his mother this time. "You won't regret this."
"Here...take an extra two dollars. Just in case you can grab a car to take you there and bring you back."
"Yes momma. I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail!" Jacob grinned, sprinting out the door, just as Jack was coming down the stairs.
"Was that Jacob?" Jack watched the door close behind the young man, who was making his way towards the road.
Rose turned to see Jack and again felt a pang in her chest that was becoming all too familiar. A pang that reminded her of the lost time between Jack and their son...time that neither of them could get back. It made her sad. Jack should have always been a part of Jacob's life. He should have been more than a story told by his mother, who had been so young when she had him.
"Yes. He's going to the store to get some ingredients I needed for dinner tonight," Rose explained.
Jack rubbed the back of his neck with what looked like a nervous smile. "Rose, I told you that you don't have to do that. I don't expect anything."
"I know, but I want to. I happen to love cooking and despite that scared gleam in your eyes, I am rather good at it. It's one of the many skills that I have attained throughout the years," Rose smiled as she closed her purse. "Besides, isn't it nice to have someone cook for you?"
Jack just laughed and shrugged. He had to admit, it was kind of nice. "I suppose it is."
"I better go straighten up in there," Rose said, still feeling sad about Jacob, thinking about how it was beyond time that she let him go to be the young man he was supposed to be. It was a sadness that Jack caught on to by the way she looked down as she walked away.
"Hey," he followed her and stopped her by placing a gentle hand on her arm. "Are you okay? You seem a little down."
Rose sighed with a shrug. "It's nothing. Just realized something before Jacob left."
"What is it?"
Rose didn't know if she should talk this over with Jack. She had twenty years with Jacob. Twenty wonderful years of watching him grow into this wonderful talented, adventurous, kind young man. She had been so lucky and she was grateful that she had been given such a gift. A gift that Jack had missed out on. She had no room to complain. But still, she felt sadness at the thought of her grown son leaving her side to start his own life.
"It's silly really..."
"Hey, I doubt that. What is it?"
"Jacob. When he was begging me to send him to the store, he pointed something out. When you were his age, you knew the world. You had seen so much while here I was, reluctant to let him go to the store. It kind of made me realize that I had been holding on to him so tightly, I was holding him back. That...it's time to let him go."
"Rose, it was going to happen eventually. Him wanting to stretch his wings and fly," Jack's own smile was sad as he placed a tender hand against her cheek. "He is your son after all. He has that fire in his eyes that you have in yours. Of course he's going to want to explore the world and experience it. Even if it's just a trip to the store in a new town."
"Come on, he got most of it from you. He had gotten a lot from you and...I have to admit, that's why I held on to him so much. Don't get me wrong. I loved the man Cal became, once he stopped hiding behind that mask he wore for his father. But there was always a part of me that was always going to love you and that was the part that held on to Jacob so tightly, not willing to give up the child born from our short time together. Even when he became a grown man."
Jack felt sad for Rose. Obviously, he hadn't been the only one so deeply affected by their relationship on Titanic. She had never gotten over it either, even though she had managed to move on with her life,
"But you do have to let him go, Rose. If you don't...you'll end up making the same mistake that your mother had and...I remember how much you had resented her for that. You had even gone as far as to change your name and allow her to believe you dead for four years. She held on to you too tightly for too long and you began to feel trapped."
"I remember, believe me, I do. I don't want to do the same to Jacob. I don't want him to feel trapped and begin to resent me, all because of how he reminds me of the past. I want him to go out and fulfill his dreams and live his own life. It's just so hard to let go. He was a gift and now, I have to give him to the world."
Jack wrapped his arms around her and held her close, trying not to think of how good it felt to hold her in his arms again or the flowery smell of her hair. It was like he had always been meant to hold her. That it should have always been him and her, even after all of the time that they had spent apart and with other people.
"Rose, I know it's hard. You love him so much, but he does have his own life to live now. You have to let go. But you'll always be his momma. That will never change. He is always going to love you best. He's going to look towards you for all things that men look towards their parents for. You're not really losing him, Rose. You're just letting him fly."
Rose closed her eyes, inwardly relishing being so close to Jack again, something she had accepted to never happen again, at least not in this life. He hadn't changed in all these years. So strong, solid, and wonderfully gentle.
"But isn't that losing him?"
"No, not at all. When a bird flies away from it's nest, it returns. So you see, you're never going to lose him."
Just like she had never lost Jack, but that wasn't something he was going to voice. It wasn't really appropriate and he doubted that those feelings were still returned. She had moved on and he accepted that. He was just grateful to be granted her friendship, to be allowed to be a part of her life now and to get to know the son that they had together.
Rose closed her eyes, relishing the feel of his arms around her for a few more minutes, pretending that she had never lost him. That they had always been just like this. Just for a few moments, she was Rose Dawson again and Jack had never been lost to her. Then she felt guilty, because if Jack hadn't been lost to her, she would never have had those years with Cal and they had been wonderful years that gave her a real family. Years that she would always cherish. Despite her love for Jack, she had truly loved Cal and she had mourned his death until there were no more tears that could be shed, and she treasured the twins that came from their union, just as she had treasured Jacob.
Finally, Jack did release her, taking a step back to put some distance between them so he could keep his own thoughts in check.
"I'll make us all some breakfast since dinner is going to be your territory tonight," He cleared his throat with a small smile.
"Oh, I can make breakfast...it's no problem..."
"I insist. You're not the only one who likes cooking."
Rose laughed and shook her head, feeling a little better. "There's so much I have to learn about you, Jack."
"It's a good thing that we now have all the time in the world to do so," he winked, before disappearing into the kitchen, leaving her to watch him with a thoughtful look in her eyes.
Jack Dawson was even more fascinating to her now than he had been on board Titanic. She indeed wondered what else there was to find out about him. Did he really spend all those years alone? Or was there another love that he didn't want to talk about? Did he ever start drawing landscapes? Had he ever gone back to Santa Monica?
Rose couldn't wait to find out the answers.
...
During their short embrace, Jack and Rose were unaware that they had an audience. Olivia and Maxwell had came out of their rooms, hearing voices from the living room. They remained on the stairs, out of sight as Jack and Rose talked and embraced, causing different reactions from the twins. Maxwell frowned, feeling a little mad at Rose for hugging a man that was not his father, while Olivia sighed wistfully and smiled, causing Maxwell to turn his frown on her.
"Why are you signing like that? And what's with the smile?" Maxwell frowned, his annoyance clear in his eyes as he glared darkly at his sister.
"Because it's romantic, don't you think?" Like all sixteen year old girls, Olivia was full of romanatic dreams and notions. She couldn't help herself. There was no one she loved more than her mother and to see her actually find romance after such a hard two years, it was something she enjoyed seeing. She didn't care how her brother may view it.
"Romantic? You are such a girl! He's not daddy! It's not romantic...it's...it's..."
"Of course he's not daddy. Daddy has been gone for a long time now and momma is lonely. Haven't you seen it? She's always staring into space and then she gets this sad look on her face and then there's tears. Jacob will be gone off on his own soon and we will not be long to follow, leaving momma even more alone. She needs someone. Why not someone she knows? Why not him? He's nice, handsome, and helped make Jacob. Besides, maybe daddy sent him to us. Have you ever thought of that?"
"You are silly. Daddy didn't send him to us. We came to him and...it's bad enough that Jacob is getting another daddy. Must momma get another daddy too? It's not fair," Maxwell stated his unhappiness. "What do we get?"
Olivia sighed and shook her head. "I may be a girl, but you are a child. Most likely, he'll be to us what daddy was to Jacob. Jack is nice. I like him and so does momma and Jacob. I suggest that you accept it."
"I think I've done enough accepting to last a lifetime. Daddy's death. Losing all of our money and our home. Having to adjust to a different life all together and now you want me to accept this."
"Maxwell..."
I can't. I won't. It's too much," Maxwell got up and ran out the door, leaving his sister frowning after him.
She knew that her brother was feeling some kind of a way about all the changes that's been happening over the past few years, but this was the first time he had ever given his frustrations a voice. She wondered where Jacob was. He was the only one that could soothe Maxwell's ruffled feathers. She just hoped that Maxwell didn't ruin things for their mother. She really did want her to be happy and to have someone to be with her after they were gone.
