Ugh, I'm in such a bad mood. It's a good thing that I've already written this because if I wasn't… let's just say I'm pretty sure someone would be dying.

Anyway, I've been so busy with school and College crap I forgot about the story. I meant to post this earlier but got distracted. You guys should thank my beta reader for sending me some revised chapters or I would have forgotten about it.

Alright, A huge thank you to my Beta Reader, Banana7Pancakes. She's really just so awesome for helping me out. She doesn't even know. I also want to thank my BFFF Jeck for giving me some advice. I appreciate it guys.

I also want to thank all of you who have given so much praise and support (Anybody else feel like I'm making a speech for an award or something. Hahahaha.) I seriously do appreciate it though. So thank you to all those who put this on their favorite lists and Alert lists. A special thanks to those who Reviewed. I love reading them.

Enjoy!!

Disclaimer: Star Trek is owned by Gene Roddenberry, J.J Abrams and Paramount Pictures. If you read anything that sounds familiar outside of this story, I most likely don't own it. If you do… Hmm, weird. I do own Alexis and any other characters that do not sound familiar to the series. So please don't borrow without permission. I also own some of the plot.


"You know, for the first time in a while, I actually miss being back on earth," Leo muttered. Alexis chuckled and raised an eyebrow; it has been a good month and a half since break, and she was still hearing Leo rave about his time with Edith.

"That wouldn't have anything to do with Miss Grey back home, would it?" she asked. He tried to hold back a smirk, but failed.

"Well… I had fun."

"I know, Eddie told me all about it… in detail." She actually saw Leo grow red at that statement before clearing his throat.

"So… um, well, uh… how was your shore leave?" he asked. She shrugged in reply. Her break wasn't horrible, and despite her argument with Darren the first night, she did spend a decent amount of time with him during the break. She had helped him find a nice girl at a bar, and even she brought home a guy she went to the academy with for the night. To top it off, she did hang out with her friends from Iowa a whole lot, when they weren't hanging out with a few key crew members of the Enterprise. Her only regret was not seeing J.T a lot during the break. She'd hung out with him that first night, but after that she rarely saw him.

"It was… decent, it was nice taking a break," she told him.

"Good." There was a long silence between them.

"Is Jay mad at me?" she asked. Leo raised an eyebrow.

"Is Jim mad at you?" She nodded. "I don't think so… why would he be?" She shrugged.

"I don't know, he hasn't really talked to me all that much." Leo looked like he was thinking for a second before shrugging.

"He's weird. We all know that he's secretly a emotional wreck." She laughed.

"I suppose so."

"Kirk to sickbay," a voice called. Leo's head shot up and he ran over to a display screen.

"Doctor McCoy here," he answered.

"We've got a distress call from a stranded ship, we're going to answer their call. Prepare for some wounded passengers," he told them. Leo nodded and grabbed his kit.

"Ready when you are." Both of them ran down to the transporter room, seeing Scotty sitting down and going over a few things.

"How many people?" Leo asked. Scotty was silent before answering.

"About ten, though I don't know if I can lock onto all of them." Alexis bit her bottom lip, and watched his hands fly across the panel.

"Get as many as you can," she told him. He nodded.

"I'll do my best, Allie," he muttered. There was a sudden jerk and Alexis fell into the wall. Leo glanced over and shook his head.

"Damn, Lex, you have no balance what so ever."

"Shut up, I prefer land," she mumbled, straightening out her shirt.

"Their ship is being attacked, as is ours. I don't think I can beam all of them out." Scotty said.

"Get as many as you can out," Leo told him. Scotty was already working full time to beam as many as he could. A few seconds later they saw the forms of three people come into view. Alexis looked at Scotty, who let out a slow breath.

"I tried… the ship blew us before I could get all of them," he muttered. Leo walked over to one of the passengers, who seemed to be a bajoran. The nurse, who had joined them at the transporter, went to the other, who looked to be a ktarian/human hybrid. Alexis walked onto the platform to the small form of a little girl crouching in the corner. She kneeled down in front of her.

"Hey, you alright?" she asked softly. The girl said nothing, just flinched. She could tell the child was a girl due to her long blonde hair, and pink frilly dress. Alexis moved a little closer to her, trying to get her to curl out of the small ball she was in so she could examine her.

"Honey, are you alright?" she asked. The girl glanced up at her, her eyes almost pitch black. Her gaze fell immediately, and she remained in her position. Alexis sighed and pressed her lips together.

"It's alright, no one is going to hurt you. I just want to make sure if you are hurt or not," she explained softly. The young girl looked up, the child's dark eyes meeting her lighter shade of brown. After a moment the girl loosened from her position, allowing Alexis to help her up.

"There you go, see, you're not hurt or anything, are you?" the young girl shook her head, and looked down. Alexis was still kneeling down so she was closer to eye level with the young girl. She took a minute and realized that the girl seemed to be a betazoid, which explained her eyes. She also saw that she had previously had been crying hard, so much so that she only gave a few light sobs now.

"I'm Alexis. Can you tell me your name?" Alexis asked, pulling out a scanner.

"Arabella," she whispered.

"That's beautiful… Listen, Arabella, I need to take you to sickbay in order to make sure you aren't sick, okay?" She paused but, after watching her for a moment, nodded.

"Okay." She breathed. Alexis smiled and stood up, holding out her hand for her to take. They began to walk out of the room, and Alexis didn't fail to notice the mocking look Scotty was giving her.

"You're so cute, Allie," he told her, chuckling a little. She rolled her eyes and punched his shoulder, making him jump a little. She ignored his sounds of protest and continued to lead the little betazoid child to sickbay. Arabella didn't say a word as they walked there, but as soon as she walked into sickbay, she moved a bit closer to Alexis.

"You're alright, just stick by me," Alexis reassured her, leading her to a bed for her to be examined. She picked the girl up and placed her on the bed, giving her a warm smile.

"My wrist hurts," Arabella said, holding out her arm. Alexis lightly took it and let her eyes look over it.

"I need to make sure it's not broken, it might hurt a little bit… okay?" She saw fear come across in the young girl's eyes, but she nodded. Alexis moved her fingers over her wrists, feeling around for the bones that might have been out of place. When Arabella gave a small cry of pain she stopped.

"I'm sorry, I'm done," she told her, going and pulling out a tool.

"No," Arabella said, pulling her hand toward her. Alexis frowned a little and showed her the tool.

"This is going to heal your wrist, then I'm going to wrap it up and you'll be fine… I'm not going to hurt you." Arabella made eye contact, and was silent for a minute before holding out her wrist. Alexis smiled and began healing it, every now and then glanced up at the rest of sickbay, looking at the only other passengers from the ship, then back at Arabella. She had no idea how or why a bajoran, and a ktarian/human hybrid, ended up with a betazoid girl.

"Arabella, where are your parents?" she asked. Her eyes darkened and she was sure the little girl was going to cry.

"My daddy is back on our home planet, my mom was on the ship with me… I don't know what happened. She was next to me before I came here." Alexis frowned and looked back to her wrist, and began to wrap it up.

"Where is my mommy?" the girl asked, tears coming to her eyes.

"I don't know, honey, but I'm here, I'll take care of you until we get you to your daddy. Or we find your mommy," she said, pausing for a moment before going back to bandaging her hand.

"Lex, how is it going?" Leo asked, walking over to her. Upon seeing the man, Arabella shrunk and moved closer to Alexis.

"Fine, just a fractured wrist, I didn't find anything else."

"When you're done have the nurse finish looking her over, we need to talk." She nodded and turned back to finishing wrapping her wrist up. When she was done a nurse walked over.

"Alright, I'll be back." Alexis said. When she went to leave, Arabella grabbed onto her hand, causing her to stop.

"Don't leave… please," she cried, a small amount of tears falling from her eyes. Alexis sighed and walked back to her.

"I'll be back. You're going to be fine. This is nurse Lisa, she will take care of you." Arabella continued to hold onto her hand for a minute longer before Alexis pulled herself away and walked up to Leo.

"How is she doing?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Alright. She seems a little jumpy, but I'm assuming that's just because of the situation they were in."

"The other passengers are similar. I was able to find out what kind of ship they were on," he said.

"Really? What type of ship?" she asked.

"A research ship, originally from Andoria." Her eyebrows furrowed as she took in the information.

"What is an Andorian ship doing transporting three, well, four different alien species?" she asked.

"The research was open to any species who wanted to join," he answered.

"What was the research?" she inquired. He shrugged.

"They won't tell me, but it apparently caught the attention of some Romulans in the area, and ended up being attacked. When we tried to save them, the group turned on us." Just as Alexis was about to say something she felt someone slam into her legs, causing her to almost fall to the ground. Instead she fell straight into Leo, who helped her restore her balance and before raising an eyebrow at her. Both of them looked down to see Arabella clinging to her leg, glancing over at the nurse.

"What's wrong?" Alexis asked.

"She tried to stick me with something," Arabella cried, giving her leg a squeeze. Lisa looked at the doctors.

"She was having a panic attack, I just wanted to sedate her." Alexis nodded, showing her that there was nothing to worry about.

"It's alright, she's just jumpy," she answered. She reached down and pried away Arabella's arms from her leg, then picked her up and let her rest on her hip. Surprisingly, she was pretty light, so Alexis didn't have to strain herself too much to carry her. As soon as she had her up, Arabella wrapped her arms around her neck and buried her face in her shoulder.

"Maybe you should take her back to your quarters or something, Lex. She's much too scared to be around people right now." Leo suggested. Alexis nodded.

"Okay, I'll see you later Leo." She walked to the lift and silently waited for the doors to open, pausing when she saw Jim on the other side of the door. He raised an eye at the small girl in her arms, but said nothing to her. A silence came upon them as she entered and told the computer her level. After a moment he spoke.

"Is this one of the refugees?" he asked. She nodded.

"Yeah, she is a little uptight in sickbay, so I'm going to take her to my quarters where she can hopefully sleep." She looked down to see Arabella looking straight at Jim, her eyes meeting his. After a minute he looked away.

"So… um, how have you been?" She tried to shrug, but she forgot that she was holding a child, so it became difficult.

"Fine, a little bored. You?" she asked.

"Fine, busy." She nodded and there was an awkward silence between them. She was about to ask him why he had been avoiding her when the lift stopped and he walked off, not even saying goodbye. She pressed her lips together and waited for her level.

Did I do something? What could I have done? Maybe I said something that offended him, but it's J.T, he never takes anything seriously, she thought. She wasn't sure what she had done, but she knew she would have to ask him later. She came to her quarters and sat the small girl down on the couch, grabbing a blanket and draping it over her.

"You comfortable? Are you hungry or thirsty?" she asked.

"I'm a little hungry, what do you have to eat?" Arabella asked, clinging to the blanket she had.

"I can get you anything you want," Alexis answered. Arabella thought for a moment before answering.

"May I have some vanilla ice cream?" she asked. A light chuckle erupted from Alexis's lips and she nodded, walking over to the generator and getting her some ice cream. Once it was done, she sat next to her and handed the bowl over, watching as Arabella began to eat it daintily.

"How old are you, Arabella?" she asked. Arabella looked up at her.

"I'm seven years old. Can you call me Bella? Only my mommy calls me Arabella." Alexis nodded.

"Of course, if that's what you want." She nodded and continued to eat. When she was finished, she went to put the bowl on the coffee table, but Alexis grabbed it before she could and put it away. She returned to find Bella looking around the room, though there wasn't much to see. There was very few decorations, but there were a few pictures, and a vase of artificial flowers. Everything else was extremely clean and organized.

"You live here?" she asked. Alexis nodded and sat back down.

"Yup, for now, until I go back home," she answered.

"Where is your home?"

"Earth." Bella tilted her head to the side.

"Then you are a human?" Alexis nodded.

"Yes, I am. You are a betazoid, right?" Bella nodded, a slight trace of a smile on her lips, before she pulled the covers closer to her.

"I'm tired," she stated.

"You want to sleep?" Alexis asked. She nodded and laid down, her small body only taking up one and a half cushions on the couch. Alexis smiled and pulled the cover over her, checking her own time and realizing that she would soon have to sleep as well. She quickly made her way over to the lights and dimmed them, making sure Arabella was still sound asleep. Alexis then made her way to bed, falling asleep the instant her head hit the pillow.


"Who is this?" Arabella asked. The both of them had been stuck in her quarters for a good week, due to Arabella's constant mood swings. The first three days were spent with Arabella crying for her mother. After that she began to calm down gradually, and now she was calm enough to leave the room. They ate first, before Alexis checked Bella's wrist, making sure it was healing. While Alexis began to get ready, she let Arabella look around the room, though, she was beginning to regret it. She touched everything, which caused Alexis to have to go around and put everything back in its place.

"Who is who?" Alexis asked, straightening a book on a shelf.

"The guy you are hugging in this picture." Alexis glanced at it, pausing to give a light smile.

"My older brother, Shawn," she replied. Arabella nodded then looked at the one next to it; it was one of Alexis and the girls back home, back in Iowa before she left for Starfleet. The one next to it was of her and Jim. At this one, Arabella paused and tilted her head.

"This is the guy who was on the lift." Alexis nodded and looked over the picture once more. It was a picture actually taken by Leo a few days after they came to Starfleet, and they were both sitting on the steps of Starfleet laughing about something someone said.

"Who is he?" she asked.

"That's J.T," she stated. Arabella raised an eyebrow.

"'J.T'?" she asked. Alexis chuckled and sat down on the couch.

"It's just something I call him. His real name is James Kirk, he is the captain of this ship." Arabella nodded and placed a finger on the glass, causing Alexis to press her lips together and look away so she could stop herself from running over and cleaning the glass.

"He has feelings for you," Arabella stated. Alexis raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I hope he would not be apathetic, I've known him since the third grade." Arabella turned toward her and raised an eyebrow.

"What does…apathetic mean?" she asked, saying the word slowly so she could get it right.

"It means not having any emotion."

"Well, he definitely is the opposite of that, he was practically shooting emotion at you," Arabella stated, taking a cloth and wiping the glass lightly before walking back to Alexis and sitting down.

"What do you mean?" she asked. Arabella shrugged.

"I can feel other people's emotions, and I felt his. It reminded me of the way my parents feelings radiated when they were in the same room as each other, or doing that adult kissing stuff." This statement made Alexis look down at the pillow in her lap. She wasn't sure what to say about that, but she quickly stood up.

"We should probably get you back to sickbay, that way we can find a way to get you home," she said. Arabella jumped off the couch and grabbed her hand.

"Lexie…Where is my mommy?" she asked. Alexis frowned and sighed.

"I don't know, honey."

"She isn't on the ship, I though you were looking for her?" Bella asked.

"I tried, honey, I couldn't find her," Alexis stated honestly. Arabella furrowed her eyebrows but said nothing, sensing Alexis's hesitation. The rest of the walk to sickbay was spent with Arabella asking a ton of questions about the ship, and Alexis answering as best she could. The only time she stopped asking questions was when the doors to the lift opened and Spock joined them.

"Doc… Alexis." He stopped himself from being so formal when he saw the look on her face. She smiled at his correction.

"Good morning, Spock, how have you been?" she asked. When he stood next to her, she could feel Arabella shrink against her leg.

"Fine, quite busy, and you?" he asked. He took a glance down at her leg and raised an eyebrow at the young girl, who was still trying to hide from him.

"Good. Busy. Hey, has J.T been avoiding me lately?" she asked. Spock looked back up at her, then shook his head.

"Not that I know of, I shall ask if you wish." She shook her head.

"No, I was just wondering, he seems to be a bit distant lately," she confessed. He shrugged and looked back down at the girl.

"The Captain has been busy; he is still fairly new to the position and is still trying to get the hang of it. Add that with the fact that a few other officers are counting on him to fail as Captain doesn't help his stress level much either." This time, she had a confused look.

"There are officers that want to see him fail?" she asked. Spock nodded.

"It makes sense. He is one of the youngest captains in the fleet. Most captains only wish to be as successful in their lifetime." She nodded and grabbed onto Arabella's hand when the lift opened.

"It was nice talking to you, Spock," she said.

"Same here, Alexis." As they left him behind, Arabella looked up at her.

"He was a Vulcan, right?" she asked. Alexis nodded.

"Yes, yes he was. Why were you so afraid of him?" she asked.

"Because he's scary, he looked almost angry." Alexis laughed as she led her into sickbay.

"I do not think I've ever seen Spock… Okay, I have seen him angry, and that was definitely not angry." Arabella didn't look convinced.

"Are you sure?" she asked. Alexis nodded as she led her into her office.

"I'm positive." Arabella sat down on Alexis's office chair and spun around, giggling a bit while doing so. Alexis smiled at her fun but turned around and walked back into sickbay, where Leo was waiting for her. She briefly saw Jim in the corner of her eye, but was too focused on finding out what was happening to care.

"You okay?" Leo asked. She nodded.

"Yeah, just tired," she answered.

"I have Jim heading to a post where we can drop the refugees off. We should reach it some time soon. I also contacted the Betazoid high council; they know who the girl is and have contacted her father," Leo explained.

"Will he meet us there?" Leo nodded.

"I believe so," he answered. They began to talk about a few other things before they heard the sound of high pitched giggles echoing throughout the room. Alexis turned around to find the sight of J.T tickling a hysterical Arabella. This caused a smile to appear on her lips as she took a few steps toward them, to see the sight better. When she did, she saw Arabella wriggle her way out of his grasp and run over to her, hiding behind her legs while still laughing. Upon seeing her, Jim stopped.

"That's not fair, hiding behind A.J like that," he told Arabella, who giggled.

"You can't get me now, Lexie will stop you," she shouted. Alexis laughed and kneeled down to Arabella's level.

"You having fun?" she asked. Arabella nodded.

"Yes, your Imzadi is very fun!" she replied. Alexis furrowed her eyebrows, not fully understanding her meaning.

"My what?" she asked. She even saw J.T raise an eyebrow.

"Your Imzadi, that's what my mommy calls my daddy." She instantly realized the meaning and shook her head.

"No, Bella, he's not my Imzadi." Arabella looked confused and looked at Jim, who was still looking at Alexis.

"I don't understand," she muttered. Alexis sighed and stood up.

"Why don't you go talk to Doctor McCoy, he has some toys for you to play with," she said. Arabella sighed but ran off, leaving Alexis and James alone. A silence came upon them for a moment before James spoke.

"I better get back to the bridge," he said, walking out. Alexis followed him onto the lift.

"Jay, wait."

"What?" he asked. She took a deep breath and looked down.

"Are you… are you mad at me?" she asked, looking up. He paused, his eyes meeting hers.

"No, why on earth would I be mad at you?" he answered quickly. She looked at him for a minute longer before furrowing her eyebrows.

"Yes, you are, you're lying to me," she said. He raised an eyebrow.

"How did you-"

"You always act like nothing is wrong and then try to brush it off when you lie. Why are you mad at me? What did I do?" she asked.

"Nothing, Alexis, you're just paranoid." She sighed and hit the stop button on the lift.

"Damn it, Jay, ever since shore leave you have been avoiding me. What the hell did I do?" she asked.

"A.J, you didn't do anything. Can I go to the bridge now? If you want to talk go call Darren Green," he snapped. He went to reach for the button but she stopped him.

"This is about Darren? Are you kidding me?"

"This is not about your boyfriend," he hissed. She scoffed.

"He is not my boyfriend. He was back in high school, but I think we are well past that," she shot back.

"I saw you leave the bar with him, then you were hanging out with him all shore leave. Then on top of it you left with some random guy. What were you going for, a threesome?" he asked. She took a step back, a little shocked from his sudden demeanor.

"I'm not going out with Darren, we are just friends. We always have been, and who are you to care who I sleep with? You never cared before!" she snapped.

"I don't like seeing you with just some random guys, I… you are my friend," he stated. She pressed the go button.

"You don't like it? How do you think I feel? How do you think I have been feeling all these years? Seeing you just go off with random women, and doing nothing about it. God, how can the whole crew see it, but you just totally miss it?" She felt the sting of tears come to her eyes, but tried to ignore it. She swore she would never cry in front of people, and she wasn't going to start now.

"See what?" he asked. She sighed.

"Nothing, forget it," she muttered. The door opened, showing they had arrived at the bridge. She looked down, not wanting him to see the pain in her eyes.

"A.J," he said softly.

"Captain, we're being hailed by the Starfleet base," Uhura said, throwing a glance at Alexis before returning her attention to James. He nodded.

"I'll be right there," he said quietly. She nodded and went back to her station. Jim pressed his lips together and went to say something, but was cut off by her pressing a button to go to sickbay, causing him to jump out of the lift so he would not be dragged down with her. When the doors closed she smacked her head with her palm.

Words in German began to fly out of her mouth, cursing herself for being so stupid. She took a minute to collect herself before she had to deal with people again. When the doors opened again, she was met with a smiling Arabella, causing her to smile as well.

"I'm going home, Lexie!" Alexis smiled and picked the girl up, giving her a hug.

"That's great, Bella, I'm going to miss you," she said. Arabella pulled away and smiled as well.

"I'll miss you too, Lexie," she replied. Alexis set her down and stayed with her until they reached the transporter room. Once there she hugged the girl once more, smiling down at her and ruffling her hair a bit.

"Be safe, Arabella," she said.

"Good luck, Alexis." Arabella replied, giving her a knowing look. Alexis smiled and lightly gave her a small shove in order for her to walk toward the pad. Alexis then watched as she, and the other four refugees, disappeared from the ship. She gave a small smile and turned toward Scotty, who was about to leave.

"Monty, wait!" she said, going after him. He stopped and turned around, furrowing her eyebrows at her appearance.

"Allie, are you alright?" he asked.

"I just… I need to get away from sickbay, you think I could hang out in engineering?" she asked, wiping her eyes. Scotty nodded.

"Sure, Allie, let's go. Just don't try and fix anything, you might break it even more."


Three months of avoiding someone can really take its toll on one's social life. Alexis sat at a table in the mess hall, going through a few things on her data pad. She had been doing this for a few weeks, trying to avoid J.T in any way possible. Eventually he gave up trying to talk to her, and sent Leo after her, which was just as annoying. Alexis pushed some of her brown strands of hair away from her face as she continued to go through some paperwork. When she heard someone put their tray down, she answered almost robotically.

"No, Leo, I will not talk to him," she said.

"I'm afraid you have mistaken me for Doctor McCoy, Alexis." Alexis looked up and chuckled, shaking her head a little.

"Sorry, Spock," she said, pushing her data pad away.

"It was an honest mistake." She nodded and a silence came upon them for a moment, before she spoke again.

"Not that I don't enjoy your company, but is there a specific reason for you coming to talk to me?" she asked, taking a sip of her drink.

"Yes, actually. I came here to talk to you about Jim." She sighed and pushed her tray away. She ran a hand over her face and began to play with her hair.

"I don't want to talk about it," she told him, going for her data pad. Spock quickly grabbed the data pad and looked at her, his eyes meeting hers for a split second before she dropped them.

"You can not avoid the topic any longer. The captain is worried." Alexis continued to look down.

"I don't see why, it's not like he really cares. If he really is upset he can just call on one of his blonde bimbos for the night, that's what he usually does. Call that Trisha girl from engineering, they can have a ton of fun," she muttered.

"On the contrary. Ever since your little confrontation, Jim has refrained from calling on any of his, in your words, blonde bimbos. Though, I do believe Trisha from engineering has red hair." Alexis looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"And you know this… how?" she asked.

"Jim is not very private about his sexual escapades." She shrugged.

"Even if he hasn't, I still… I almost told the man I love him." She confessed.

"Would that not be a good thing?" he asked. She pressed her lips together and began to tap on the table lightly.

"No, because that would ruin our whole friendship. I would say I love him, then he would say he doesn't feel the same, then we would avoid each other until we both just stop talking to each other. Then I'd probably transfer to some other Starship and we will never talk to each other again, thus ending the friendship we have had since… the third grade." Spock took a moment to take in what she said before he raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't that what you are already doing? Forgetting the fact that you have yet to transfer to another starship," he asked. She paused, thinking it over before a defeated look came upon her face.

"I hate it when you're right," she muttered.

"I am merely saying that if you continue to avoid the matter further, you might never reconcile." Alexis nodded.

"Okay," she whispered.

"So you will talk to Jim?" Spock inquired. She stood up, taking her tray and data pad with her.

"Nope, but I will put in a transfer to another starship," she told him, walking away and leaving a very confused first officer.


"So… you aren't talking to Jim?" Leo asked as they walked back from dinner.

"No, it's not that I'm not talking to him, I'm just… kind of avoiding being in the same room as him. But if I was in the same room as him I would talk to him," she told him. Leo nodded and looked forward.

"Here is your chance," he said, looking down the hall to see Jim coming there way. Upon seeing this, Alexis quickly jumped to her door and pressed the code.

"Night, Leo, see you tomorrow," she said, closing the door and taking a deep breath. After a moment she began to get ready for bed, Spock's words still ringing in her head.

'If you continue to avoid the matter further, you might never reconcile.'

"Maybe I don't want to reconcile," she muttered to herself as she began to take a shower. She knew that was a lie; she wanted nothing more than to talk to J.T and set things right. Then again, if they actually talked, she would have to reveal her feelings to him, not something she was looking forward to. She stepped out of the shower and put on a pair of shorts and tank-top.

Despite the fact space was so cold, she usually kept her room warm, making her feel as though she were back home in Iowa rather than in a ship in space. She began to scrunch her hair, trying to get all the water out when the door beeped, signaling someone there. She sighed and walked out, not bothering to grab a robe or anything. When she did open the door, she wished she hadn't.

"A.J, we need to talk," he stated simply. She went to close the door but he walked in before she could.

"I don't want to talk," she replied.

"A.J, are you really just going to avoid me for the rest of your time on this spaceship?" he asked. She sighed.

"Jay, I really don't want to talk to you," she answered. He took a step toward her, making her take a step back.

"Why? Why the hell are you avoiding me? What have I done?" he asked, walking toward her even more.

"What part of I don't want to talk about it is not getting through your thick skull?" she hissed. He pressed his lips together.

"You're avoiding the problem, Damn it, A.J, you can't just shut me out!"

"Like you were doing before we got in our argument?"

"That was different." She snorted and walked around him to the door.

"Because it was you? God, just leave," she snapped.

"A.J, what's wrong?" he shouted. She gave a frustrate yell and glared at him.

"You are what's wrong! I can't believe you. I've been there since we've been friends! But it's all about you and how you feel about everything. You never even thought that you sleeping around would affect me!" He looked confused.

"How the hell would it effect you?" he snapped.

"Because I love you, you dumb ass!" she yelled. There was a long pause between them as his blue eyes stared into her brown. When she realized what she had just confessed, her cheeks turned a light red and she looked down. She heard his footsteps walking toward her and stopped a few inches in front of her. She looked up and glared at him.

"A.J… if I knew-"

"You would what? Just try and sneak around behind my back? What would that solve?" she hissed.

"A.J, please-"

"No! Just leave, J.T" He pressed his lips together, obviously getting frustrated, and took a step toward her, trapping her between him and the wall.

"I'm not leaving, A.J. You aren't going to push me away." She glared at him.

"I want you to leave. I don't want to ruin our friendship. I want us to remain friends, and because of that, I want you to leave." He leaned down and let his lips hover near hers. Her face still held a glare, but her insides were going crazy. She felt her stomach do a uneasy flip, and her lips tingled with anticipation.

"No, you don't," he whispered. She closed her eyes as his warm breath caressed her lips, causing her to take in an uneven breath. He saw her beginning to crack and leaned in even further, placing his soft lips onto hers. She froze for a instant, but the pleasurable feeling of his lips massaging hers was enough to make her break. She kissed back for a moment, then broke away.

"I hate you," she muttered, pushing him away. He went to take hold of her arm, but she escaped his grasp.

"A.J…"

"I want us to stay friends. Why can't we do that?" she asked, her voice cracking a bit. Liar! she thought bitterly.

"I want us to-"

"For once, J.T, it is not about you!" He froze for a moment then nodded.

"You want me to leave? Fine, I'll leave," he snapped, turning toward the door. He paused for a moment, before leaving the room. As soon as he was gone, she sat down on the couch and let a few tears fall. She should have stopped him, she should have told him the truth. But she couldn't. When she saw him throw away the first girl he ever had, she swore she wasn't going to put herself in that position. She had already lost her parents, and her grandparents; the last thing she needed was to get thrown away by the one person she truly loved.


Thank you all so much for reading! I appreciate it. The title is actually coming from a Hans Zimmer & James Newton Howard piece. (For those who don't know they are motion picture composers, which means they compose music for movies.) This song came from The Dark Knight (Bonus Digital Release) album I got on iTunes. It's a very interesting album. I love it.

Hoped you enjoyed. Reviews are more than welcome.