AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Dedicated to princessjames21.
This chapter has a lot in it, including a bit of a time jump and I think that you will enjoy what's about to happen right now. A lot of arguing and cuteness in this one, as well as a lot of character interaction.
WARNINGS: Language, Dark Themes, Sex, Violence, Blood
ENJOY!
xxxx
Ashlyn and Remy – 2009
For a moment the two women seemed to be at a standstill because Ashlyn couldn't believe that Remy was there—thought that she was imagining her—and Remy didn't think that Ashlyn was Ashlyn. Topher had told Remy about what Ashlyn had done and so she just assumed that this was an engagement but then…where was the client? Surely a doll wouldn't be running about on her own unless something was wrong, but maybe it was all part of the game. Perhaps someone was authenticating a back story that could be implemented later on and someone would come offer Ashlyn a treatment any minute.
"Remy?" Ashlyn asked, finding her words.
It was Remy's turn to be astonished now because this had to be Ashlyn—she knew Remy's name. That meant that Ashlyn was on the run with her own personality intact and that meant that this entire situation simply reeked of Topher Brink and Remy suddenly didn't know what to do. Putting the lens cap back onto her camera, she let it hang around her neck by its strap and wheeled herself over to Ashlyn, who looked down at her friend with her eyes brimming over in tears.
For a minute Remy was blurry to her, but blinking and letting a couple of large, salty tears slide down her cheeks helped her to get the crisp image of her best friend back. She wondered if her mother and her sister knew about this and of course they did! Hell, Colin probably even knew and yet no one had told Ashlyn because she needed to focus on her treatment and had she known she would have come running back…at least under normal circumstance. Unfortunately, Ashlyn's body belonged to the LA Dollhouse and both she and Remy knew that.
No matter what Ashlyn wanted to do right now, she had to return to the Dollhouse and she had to let Topher put her back on the wedge and she didn't want to. If Remy was alive then there was no need to go through all of this alone and Remy was in a wheelchair! Remy needed her best friend to be there for her through that and she wished that she had been there this last year and a half, but she hadn't been…Remy had to hate her. She didn't, but Remy was rather upset about not being able to have Ashlyn around when she needed her most—when she woke up and couldn't walk.
"How…? I thought that your parents were taking you off of life support…" Ashlyn began shaking her head, not able to process this like she thought she should have been able to.
Remy nodded gently. "They were going to do that, but Topher convinced them not to—showed them some kind of Rossum developmental treatment and they were willing to take the risk. It was also too late for you because you'd already signed over your soul to them, Ash. You let them take advantage of you and now…what are you even doing?"
"I…Topher…" Ashlyn began and then she stopped and shook her head again because honestly she was rather bewildered.
Remy nodded gently and repeated her question. "What are you even doing?"
"Topher put me back in my body and then I was accosted with questions and I was here to think things over. Look around, maybe watch some kids on the playground," Ashlyn offered with a gentle shrug.
"Just watching kids on the playground makes you look like a creeper," Remy joked, but she wasn't really smiling…she was still upset.
Topher had known that there was a risk and her parents had as well, but having her alive was more important to them than having her dead. Colin and Jenna tried countless times to try and console her, but Remy knew what they didn't about where Ashlyn was and only wanted her best friend because the unthinkable side effect had occurred…she was paralyzed from the waist down. She was never going to be able to walk again because of some miracle cure and it bothered her so much that she was bitter about it and seeing Ashlyn as Ashlyn and not her Active or some other personality was just making her more upset.
She knew that Ashlyn was really only just finding out and having to take it all in, but that didn't make her any less bitter about it all. All that Remy had wanted when she woke up was her best friend and instead she'd gotten Topher and he was by no means a replacement for Ashlyn so even with Jenna and Colin by Remy's side, she never felt whole. Now here Ashlyn was and Remy didn't know what to do, but what she did know was that Ashlyn was going to need to get back to the Dollhouse because for all intents and purposes they owned her and she couldn't stay here.
"I have to be getting back before Colin thinks I've off and rolled into a ditch…literally," Remy said abruptly as Ashlyn reached out to touch her hair, Remy pulling back and then wheeling the wheelchair back as well. "I'll see you in three years, Ash."
Ashlyn nodded, hurt and yet guilty. "Hopefully I'll see you before then."
"I doubt it," Remy told her, her heart breaking as she rolled away without looking back.
"I'll find a way," Ashlyn promised gently.
xx
Ashlyn and Remy – 2005
"I would rather live without my legs than live without my eyes," Ashlyn mused as she and Remy sat in a bar talking some things over. "I mean, wheelchairs seem fun and at least I can still see things like rainbows and puppies and babies."
Remy laughed warmly and nodded a little bit. "Yeah, I can see that—you do love puppies and babies."
"You know what I love more than puppies and babies?" Ashlyn asked Remy wiggling her eyebrows.
"Well, it's not sex because you haven't had any…" Remy teased and laughed when Ashlyn punched her in the arm. "What do you love more than puppies and babies?"
"Well, not you now," Ashlyn said sticking her tongue out at her and laughing when Remy faked being shocked and offended. "Liam Neeson."
Remy laughed loudly and nodded. "I want to be offended that you love him more than me, but I can't because he's Liam Neeson. Liam's no Bruce Willis though."
"I will drink to that," Ashlyn laughed nodding.
She and Remy clinked glasses and looked around the bar, scoping out potential prospects even though they both knew that they were going home with each other. It was just that they had wanted to come and be in the atmosphere and Ashlyn wasn't even drinking alcohol…she had a Shirley Temple because she wanted her wits about her. If she got hit on by any strange, drunk men, she wanted to remember it and laugh about it with Remy later. Then again, they were at that point where they might start to try to just make stories of their own somehow.
The two of them liked to sometimes dare each other to hit on guys in nice, awkward ways, courtesy of Drama Club in High School they were fairly good at it. That was when Ashlyn actually first met Paul Ballard, smiling at him as he talked with one of his partners and not wanting to go through with the dare because he had a badge. She didn't want him to think that she was a prostitute or anything, but Remy and she had made a pact and that meant that she couldn't just back out even if she was terrified. So, sitting down next to him at the bar she smiled awkwardly.
"My friend says I can't back out of hitting on you," Ashlyn began nodding. "I don't have a better pick-up line. I thought of several on my way over here, but they all sounded really stupid and I don't understand how men get away with them."
Paul nodded and looked at her. "I think it's the delivery more than the line."
"That or a genuine feeling of desperation…maybe of respect," Ashlyn mused smiling.
"Respect?" Paul asked a little miffed. "How can you respect a guy that's clearly only using a line on you to get under your skirt?"
Ashlyn shrugged a little bit. "He has to have some balls to risk it all to say something as stupid as, 'did it hurt when you fell from Heaven'?"
"'Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day',"
"'Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants',"
"That one is the absolute worst,"
The two smiled and laughed and then Paul and Ashlyn both looked over at Remy and waved, Remy grinning and giving them a big thumbs up. She was busy with the guy that had claimed Ashlyn's seat when she had vacated to go through with the dare and Remy was secretly enjoying this way too much because this guy was just awful. He kept breathing too close to her and she could smell the whiskey on his breath, but it was flattering nonetheless to get hit on whether the man was drunk, sober, or following through with a dare like Ashlyn and Remy did sometimes.
"I've got five minutes to kill if you want to stay and talk," Paul told Ashlyn with a smile.
Ashlyn nodded gently. "Yeah, sure…that works for me. I'm Ashlyn Groves."
"Paul Ballard."
xx
Dollhouse – 2009
"You son of a bitch!" Ashlyn exclaimed when she got back to the Dollhouse.
Boyd was with Echo and Adelle was in her office, Topher and Ivy working on an imprint when she stormed into his office. She took his coat off and threw it haphazardly, not wanting to have anything to do with it right now and Topher just kind of sat there frozen while Ivy stiffened up and wondered what to do. Should she leave? Should she just stay there and pretend like she couldn't hear what was happening and just continue to work. All she knew was that she was about to be in the middle of a lover's quarrel and Ashlyn was starting to tear up and she was angry…she was very angry.
"I am in the middle of—" Topher tried quickly.
"—you brought her back and she's paralyzed! Even better than that, was that you didn't tell me, Topher! NOT A SINGLE PEEP!" Ashlyn thundered, shaking her head. "You lied to me! You brought me back into my own body and didn't say a damn thing about Remy even though she's a part of the reason why I'M A DOLL NOW IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
Topher made a face at her. "She's the ENTIRE reason you did it!"
"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHY I DID THIS!" Ashlyn retorted and Ivy stood up.
"You two need to talk, I'm just going to…go…" Ivy tried but stopped when Ashlyn shook her head.
Ashlyn took a breath and spoke calmly to Ivy. "Topher and I are going to go and argue in his room and you can continue, this is important. I'm sorry, I'm just GENUINELY PISSED OFF!"
The last bit was thrown directly at Topher and he just nodded and followed her into his room, running his fingers through her hair. He had wanted so badly for her not to find out until after he had been able to tell her and prepare her for it, but she had seen Remy and that meant that she had seen that Remy was in a wheelchair and more importantly than that, it meant that she had spoken to Remy. Otherwise, Ashlyn wouldn't know that it was Topher that had done it because just seeing Remy would have made her just think that Remy was alive.
Still, he knew she would be more pissed off that he didn't tell her then she would be that he had done it in the first place. Topher knew that Remy was one of the biggest parts of Ashlyn's life and he also knew that Remy didn't approve of Ashlyn being an Active and was probably mad at him for not telling Ashlyn about it all sooner. Then again, Remy knew about the Active's contracts and she hadn't been expecting to see Ashlyn until around 2012 and here they were, reunited early and Topher was probably in the dog house with both of them.
"She is paralyzed…" Ashlyn said trailing off.
Topher nodded gently. "Yeah—I tried really hard not to let that be the case but I just…yeah, she's paralyzed."
"How dare you not tell me?" Ashlyn asked him. "She was supposed to be taken off of life support and while I am thrilled that she wasn't, you never told me that! You brought me back to sign papers to go out on a mission where my father was shot!"
"I couldn't have foreseen that!"
"I'm not blaming you for my father dying!"
"No?"
Ashlyn shook her head. "No…I'm not. I'm just beyond pissed off that you didn't tell me that my best friend was alive. Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't have the words," Topher admitted slowly.
Nodding, they both sat down on the mattress and Topher reached over to rub Ashlyn's back as she started to cry, putting her head into her hands. There was so much that she wanted to tell him and yet she knew it would hurt him and he had known this would hurt her and he had wanted to say it perfectly—and hadn't gotten a chance. Everything she'd put him through this last year and a half was far worse and she knew it, so how could she even be mad?
"I tried to kill myself…" Ashlyn told Topher, looking at him. "Jenna swore to me that she wouldn't tell you when I was in the hospital because I wasn't going to try again. This…this was my answer."
Topher paused a moment, pain etched into every feature. "You…baby…"
"I just couldn't live with it all and so I was done," Ashlyn explained shaking her head. "I was sad and I felt alone and I felt responsible—"
"—none of this was your fault; you couldn't have seen any of it coming."
"Doesn't mean I'm innocent…"
Both of them paused for a moment as Topher let the words sink in and it made him more curious for a moment as to what she meant. They both knew that there had been secrets they were keeping from each other and watching Ashlyn tear up always ripped his heart to pieces and he pulled her close to him, kissing her temple and stroking her hair, honestly and truly never wanting to ever let her go again as they just sat there. Things used to be happy and fun and then everything had come crashing down around them and neither of them felt very happy right now, even if part of them felt better being close to each other.
"You weren't alone and you'll never be alone," Topher promised her.
Ashlyn nodded into his chest. "I know, I was just…moment of weakness."
"I can't live with you dead," Topher whispered to Ashlyn, pulling back and looking at her. "I don't ever want to—this is better. As much as it kills me to make you different personalities, this is better than you being dead."
"This contract renegotiation…they still own me, right?" Ashlyn asked Topher gently.
"Yeah," Topher replied nodding. "They would still wipe you when they needed to."
Ashlyn took a deep breath. "I don't want to become an Active again, Toph…"
"Then," Topher told her gently, "we have our work cut out for us."
Note: WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO?! Also, poor Remy, she just needs her best friend. What could possibly happen next? Feedback is always appreciated!
