Hey there Another short chapter, I know, but it means more is coming, and soon. Have fun!
Btw HikariMelody, I loved your comment about throwing Camille into the sunlight :P someone should.

I do not own the Mortal Instruments or the Scissor Sisters, as much as I love them, but I DO own a gorgeous silky kimono.

In Brooklyn, Alexander Lightwood started to wake, oblivious to Camille's plans for him. Unwelcome tendrils of alertness snaked towards him. "No," he mumbled "Not yet!" but the tendrils drew him gently out of his slumber, and into the morning.

The aroma of fresh coffee nuzzled his nose and he opened one startlingly blue eye.

Judging by the yellow covers he was at Magnus', but Magnus, for a change, wasn't in bed, which would explain the coffee smell and the strange sounds emanating from the kitchen. Over some odd clankings, Alec could hear his off-key singing.

I've been waiting for the day,
That I could throw away these numbers
That line my dresser drawers and covers
Start me over
Life seems so much slower, with your toothbrush by the mirror
Could I make it any clearer?

An idiotic grin plastered itself to Alec's face, warmth stirring just below his collarbone; he loved to hear Magnus sing, especially when the lyrics could relate to them, although today he sounded oddly strained.

Too lazy to dress yet, Alec slipped on a purple and gold kimono of Magnus', loving the soft whisper of silk on skin, and padded into the kitchen.

What he saw he never could have prepared for, even from Magnus.

The warlock was sprawled across the tiled floor amidst a city of saucepans, bare feet planted against the fridge, wearing nothing but a pair of glittery silver jeans which were around his bony knees, two wooden spoons and a whisk jammed into the top. Alec was speechless.

"Magnus- I- I don't- by the angel-"

"Alec, this looks strange, I know, but-"

Alec's voice (and sanity) returned with a jolt.

"What in Raziel's name are you doing?" he yelled hysterically, blue eyes wide. "I've seen you do some weird things, but this is beyond-"

"Alexander, calm down." He wriggled, trying to sit up, but knocking his elbow on a colander. "Ouch! Alec, I am simply trying to get these jeans on…but I – I can't!"

In that moment, the hilarity of the situation hit Alec, and he cracked up laughing.

"You- jeans- you- with- whisk!" he choked, Magnus glaring up at him.

"I was trying to put them on, but I fell- don't laugh, it was extremely distressing! Knocked over the pans, and I can't get up because my knees are stuck. See!"

He gestured with a long, elegant hand, stray sparks fizzling from the tips of his fingers. Alec was still chuckling.

"And the spoons? The whisk?"

Magnus bit his glossy bottom lip, a gesture coined from Alec, which melted his heart around the edges.

"I tried to hook them in to pull up the waistband…but they got stuck!"

Alec glanced at his boyfriends' slender, caramel-coloured thighs, more than a little appreciatively.

"Just how tight are those jeans?"

Magnus grinned slyly despite his awkward situation.

"Let's just say they'd make a condom feel like a bin bag. Hell, a duvet cover. A parachute!"

Ten minutes later

Jace and Isabelle stood outside Magnus' door, unsure as to whether they should enter. Ordinarily, Izzy would just barge in, possibly armed, and demand her brother, but certain noises from within deterred them.

"By the angel Magnus! So tight!" Panting and groaning followed.

"Come on Alec, nearly there baby!"

"Magnus, push your foot against the oven, that's it!"

"So close- Alec, take out the whisk- YES! Oh god yes!"

Isabelle cringed further, and Jace crooked an eyebrow, looking slightly sick. Whisk? What sort of depravity was this? Enough was enough.

Isabelle reluctantly pushed open the door, half-dragging Jace to the kitchen. Her brother and the High Warlock were slumped, Magnus on the floor, Alec against the counter, breathing heavily, but Alec, thankfully, was fully clothed. Magnus however, was clad in barely-legal silver jeans that clung obscenely to his legs and- other places, leaving barely anything to the imagination.

"By the Angel! Those are tight! I can see your junk, like, more than normal!"

"Jesus Magnus, I can practically count your pubes!" Jace added.

He giggled feebly as Alec hoisted him into a standing position.

"Good to see you as always, Izzy darling. Wayland. And yes, Alec was just helping me into them, with the aid of three spoons and a whisk, in case you were wondering."

She nodded, black tresses undulating down her slim back.

"Hard work, but so worth it. Don't I look fabulous? Splendiferous? Divine?"

Magnus strutted, somewhat restrictedly, to a full-length diamond encrusted mirror that had spontaneously sprung into existence, winking at his reflection.

"Why yes, I do!" He purred delightedly, giving a shimmering twirl and sounding exactly like Chairman Meow after being given a kitty treat. Izzy giggled, and Alec tried in vain not to gape. Magnus indeed looked fabulous, splendiferous, divine, delicious and a whole load of other things, not all of them printable.

He must have done something right in a past life, he thought, to have Magnus as a boyfriend- and he said he'd think about the immortality thing. The thought of being able to enjoy him forever was so wonderful it nearly dealt Alec a heart attack.

"Now, do excuse me," Magnus grinned "I must go put on a shirt."

If only Camille wasn't planning to ruin it all.

If everything goes well, you should get your lemon soon…especially if you review, specifically regarding the return of the magic magic 8 ball, yes or no? I love your reviews, I really do. Bad as well as good.

Love China xxxxxx