Right, so here's Chapter Seven for y'all. I know I haven't updated for a wee while, had a bit of a block but I think this chapter does the fic justice :) Hope you enjoy, and always, reviews reviews reviews!!


Catherine and Warrick had been courting for months, years maybe, but nobody had really known the truth until now. Until they had gone public. Until they had declared their love. Until he had proposed. Nobody except Grissom. Catherine had gone to him a few months into the relationship and she had asked him what he thought about it. At the time Sara had still been around, he hadn't had a chance to push her away for good yet, and he had told her it was fine. He had told her that if you loved someone then nobody else should matter, he had told her that if you loved someone you should never let anyone or anything get in the way of that. At the time he had had his sights set on the only woman he would ever love. He had been planning to make his declaration, and he had been planning to sweep her off of her feet and take her away from this place, away from all the death, the deceit.....He had almost gone through with it too, but then the Lady Heather case had come up. She'd gotten in the way, Heather had distracted him. She had fascinated him and he'd given in like a child. He'd crumbled and all thought of declaring his feelings to Sara had disappeared. He'd felt dirty and small ever since that day.

He sat in the corner of the room, slowly nursing a scotch. They were happily dancing on the floor and the look he saw in Catherine's eye as she looked up at Warrick was the look he wanted to catch in Sara's eye when she looked at him. It had once been there, it had once been obvious but not any more. He hadn't seen her for 6 months, hadn't heard anything of her for 4, but he'd thought of her every single day and it was driving him insane. He was a logical man, a man of science, and he couldn't understand his feelings. He couldn't understand why, after 6 months of nothing, he was still in love with her. He didn't know why he wasn't over her yet. It didn't make sense, but he had long given up trying to make sense of his pathetic excuse for life.

He let out a heavy sigh, and he closed his eyes. He wanted to be far away from this place. It was too loud, it was too busy. It was too happy. He wanted to be in his office, for once in his life he wanted to take care of his paperwork. Hiding in the corner gave him too much time to think, and he knew from experience that nothing good ever came from thinking.

When he opened his eyes, a pair of green eyes stared right back at him. Warrick sat opposite him, a soda can in his hand. He didn't need to speak to someone who had just gotten engaged. It was almost the very last thing that he needed.

"Are you okay, Griss?" And that was the very last thing he needed.

"Yes." He needed to get Warrick away quickly. He understood that the younger man was just concerned, was just looking out for his boss...for his family....but he didn't want to talk. He wanted to be left alone. "I'm fine, Warrick."

"Well, hell, you don't seem like it man. You know that if you ever need to speak to some..." Warrick froze, mid-sip of soda.. He was staring somewhere over Grissom's shoulder and Grissom turned to see just what exactly had stopped him mid-sentence.

His heart stopped.

There in the doorway was what could only be a mirage. He blinked hard and he looked again, but nothing had changed. She was still there. He pinched himself, but he wasn't asleep. He was wide awake and she was right there in-front of him. He sensed Warrick moving somewhere off to the side but he couldn't turn his head to look. He couldn't move his gaze from her. He almost didn't believe his own eyes as he stared. She looked beautiful, she looked radiant, she looked....happy. She hadn't looked like that the last time he had seen her. He watched her greet the team, he watched her laughing as Greg held on that little bit too long. He watched her kiss Nick's cheek, he was surprised as she even hugged Catherine. He watched Warrick whisper something in her ear and he watched as if in slow motion she turned her head and she looked at him. He held the eye contact, he tried a smile but she turned her head back. She looked away from him as if she hadn't even seen him. He didn't have the words to explain how badly he hurt.

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"Go speak to her."

He jumped and he opened his eyes again. Catherine sat where Warrick had been, and she had that look on her face that told him she knew exactly what was up. He hated her right then.

"C'mon Gil. You've been sitting here all night, it's about time you got up or you'll end up getting sores on your ass." She raised an eyebrow, trying to get a response, but he gave her nothing. He just looked away, down into the depths of the fresh glass of scotch.

Catherine was silent for a beat, and then the glass was snatched from his hand. He yelped in protest as she poured the contents into the plant pot that sat happily at the end of the table. Damn plants were even happier than he was.

"You are a horrible drunk." He glared up at her. "That angry stare doesn't work on me, Gil. You know that by now." He sighed heavily and scrubbed his face with his hands. "You should go speak to her. She's fine. I'm sure she'll be happy to speak to you."

"No." He sat up straight at that comment. He pointed a finger in Catherine's face. "She will not be happy to speak to me."

"You don't know that. There is no point hiding in the corner. You're here, so make the most of it, okay?"

"I'm only here because you threatened to stop doing my paperwork, Catherine. You know that."

"Yes I do. Like I said, though, you're here now aren't you? There's no point in wasting the chances that life throws at you, because hell, you're definitely not gonna make them for yourself are you?"

"I value being alive too much."

"Oh my god, Grissom. Please just shut up and go ask her to dance."

"I can't dance."

"All you need to do is move your damn feet, it's not rocket science." She stood and dragged him with her. "Maybe if it was you'd know how to do it."

He knew it was pointless arguing with her. She had a daughter and a stubborn mother and she had been married to someone with a much stronger will than he had ever possessed. He knew he was never going to win. He just wished that she wasn't making him go speak to the woman he had broken apart. His chest ached as he walked, his palms sweated, his mouth was dry. That only happened when he had to grovel to Sara, it never happened at any other time. That was because it was the only time he was vulnerable, it was the only time he didn't have a case file in his hand and evidence behind him. There was nobody behind the one way glass who could come and help him, there was nobody there with him to protect him from getting hurt. It was just her, him and his heart.

She was sat with the guys, and that just made things worse. Now it was her, him, his heart and three other men. It was far from the ideal situation but he could feel Catherine watching him like a hawk.

"May I have this dance, Sara?" He stopped at her side but she didn't respond. The silent treatment. Real mature, he thought. He was taking the risk and yet she was ignoring him. He didn't know what she wanted from him – one minute she wanted him to take the risk for her, the next she was ignoring his efforts. As he watched her ignoring him something snapped inside and he found that he knew what to say. He wasn't scared any more. He didn't have her, so he didn't have anything to lose with this. He had nothing to lose so he could risk it, he could risk more than he ever had done."You can ignore me if you want to, but I'm not going to move until you get up and dance with me.'

She turned her head slowly and she looked up at him, seemingly curious. He stared right back into her eyes, and he didn't move. He didn't blink. He didn't know where his inner strength was coming from but he was willing to play on it while he had it. She seemed to realise he was serious, so she laid down her glass and silent got up. He held his hand out to her and she took it and she followed him onto the dance floor.

The previous song faded out into the background and the opening notes of Clapton's 'Wonderful Tonight' started up in the background. He swallowed hard as he slid his right hand around her waist, coming to rest just above her hip. He looked right into her eyes as she wrapped an arm round his shoulder and he clasped her other hand in his as if was the only thing keeping him alive.

"You look nice." His voice was soft, no more than a whisper, and he cursed himself for his word choice.

He saw the corners of her mouth curl up into a smirk. "Thanks. You too."

"Yeah," he smiled back slightly, looking down at himself wearing nothing more than his usual work attire. As they moved they stared right into one another's eyes, and he felt the heavy weight settling on his heart. He found trouble in taking a breath, and his stomach began to clench. He felt like a teenager at prom, dancing with his crush for the first time. Eventually, "I miss you."

She stared up at him, visibly surprised now. He knew she had expected him to say something stupid, beg her to come back for the lab's sake and he knew he had her attention. He knew he had set the cogs turning in her mind, and maybe, just maybe, he thought....she might come back now.

"I want you to come back. For me, not the lab or anyone else. For me."

"Grissom, I, uh..." she looked away, lost for words.

"Every single thing I do reminds me of you, and I just need you Sara." His honesty had even shocked himself but, and he couldn't fathom it, it felt good. It made him feel good to be honest with her, it felt good to tell her how he felt, it was good to see the sweet surprise on her face.

"Griss, I don't think you really know how it feels," she shook her head, eyes slowly filling with tears. "I'm wondering if you really know how it feels to be left outside. I was left outside of your heart for so long, and....well, maybe you should know. Maybe it's your turn now."

"What? No, Sara, look I'm not going to be like that any more. I really think I've changed since you left." What was she saying? He had just told her he needed her and she was telling him it was his turn to be left outside?

"When I met you I thought you were something sent from above, you know that? I worshipped you, I adored you. And ever since I met you I've been waiting for you to bring me my happy ending. I waited while you played all those games, and I tried so hard to be patient. I told myself that you were the one I was meant to be with, that it would happen someday. But with you there was always someone else to blame, something else that got in the way, you could never just let me in, and I should have realised sooner that I need to go find that happy ending for myself."

She looked up into his eyes and the certainty and the distance he saw there terrified him.

"No, don't say that Sara. I don't want to hide away from this, not without you. I know I've never really said the words to you but I just can't get them straight. I just need one more chance before you run away. I can do this, if you just give me another chance. Just don't run away."

"Grissom...." She paused and she bit her bottom lip. He wanted to kiss her, if only to stop the words from coming out of her mouth. "Gil. I need to run away."

"Look, every time you let me get close I get so scared, and I know what that must do to you, but I'll say the things you need to hear if you just help me try." He shook his head, trying to change her might by looking into her eyes. As if it would change things now. He sensed somewhere deep inside of him that it was too late.

She gave a hollow, bitter laugh. "You know, it's ironic. After all the years of me trying to get through to you, it's only when I leave that you fight for me. You want what you just can't have, and when you get it you don't want it any more. I'm tired of the games. I gave you one last chance already and you couldn't take it."

"I know, but please, Sara. Come back to your life in Vegas. I'll try harder, I'll be the man you always wanted me to be. I'll do anything, just don't leave me alone tonight."

She stared up at him for an eternity and for a moment the feeling that she was gone subsided. He started to feel hopeful. The longer she stayed quiet, the longer she was still in his arms the better his chance. He was prepared to fight, he was prepared to hold onto her tonight.

After the longest moment she spoke again. "You know where I came in from tonight?" He shook his head. "I came in from San Francisco. I got myself a new job, I got a new house, I got new friends. I got a new boss. I got a new life, Grissom, and you're not part of that."

"No, Sara, no. Come on, don't say things like that. Stay with me."

"Grissom, let go of me."

"No, Sara!" He was panicking now. He couldn't let her go, not now, not after all the things he had told her, not after being honest. It was the very first time he had let himself admit to her how he felt and he couldn't let it fall away, he couldn't let her go after that.

Despite his best efforts he felt the tears welling in his eyes and as she looked at him he felt one trickle slowly down his face. He wanted her to tell him it was okay, he wanted her to take it all back, he wanted her to give him one last chance because he couldn't live without her. He couldn't carry on if she wasn't there to light up his life. There was no reason for him to be there if she wasn't with him.

"I have to go, Gil. I have to get home, I have to work. Please let me go."

"But I need you." His breath caught in his throat and he felt his whole world collapsing in on itself.

"Let me go." She wrestled her hand out of his and then she dropped her hand from his shoulder. His flesh felt cold now that her touch was gone. She pried his hand from her waist and then she paused for a split second before dropping his hands and turning on her heel. He watched as she collected her purse and stalked out of the building.

"No..." he shook his head. He was frozen to the spot for a moment before he caught sight of Catherine. She waved her hand in the direction of the door and he stared at her, confused, cold, for a moment before he sprinted after Sara. He broke out into the cold night air but he barely felt the temperature as his eyes searched for her. There was a downpour of rain but he didn't feel the water soaking through to his skin as he ran. He caught a flash of lilac and he chased after it. He didn't know why his knees didn't ache, didn't know why his side didn't hurt, didn't know why he wasn't out of breath. All he knew was that he had to reach her before she disappeared.

He caught up with her and he shouted on her but she didn't stop, she sped up. He pushed on and he grabbed her hand. She stopped in her tracks and turned round to him.

"Stop it, Griss. Stop this."

"No, I can't stop it." He took a deep breath before he started, "I lo..."

"No!" She shook her head and took a step back. "Don't you dare say that, it's not fair Grissom."

"It's the truth."

"No, it's not. It can't be the truth, you can't do this to me."

"I need you here, Sara. I can't do this without you any more. I can't. It's too hard."

"I can't let you do this to me again Grissom. I finally managed to let go of you. It was tough and God, it tore me up inside, but I did it and I can't come back to you now. I can't let you hurt me again."

"I won't. I won't hurt you again. I'm ready, and I'll try my hardest. I'll do anything you want me to, I'll be the man you always wanted me to be."

"I didn't want a hero and I didn't want Mr Perfect. I wanted you, Gil, that's who I wanted. But I'm getting over you now, and staying here...I can't do that."

"But I need you."

"Ssshhh, stop." She pressed her fingers to his lips and shook her head. He watched her, his eyes burning. He felt the warm tears cascading down his face but there was nothing he cared to do it. "Stop this Gil."

All he could do was stare at her. He watched as she raised her hands and she dried away his tears. She caressed his face, she raked her fingertips through his beard. She went on tip toes and she gently pressed her lips against his. He was too overwhelmed to react, and he could only watch as she let go of him. She turned and she walked away, leaving him behind in the ice cold rain. He kept watching for the slightest sign that she missed what she was walking away from but she just kept going and he just kept standing there. He knew she wasn't coming back.


So there you are. She ain't coming back guys, she ain't coming back. Whatd'ya think? I know you'll tell me – you're certainly not a shy bunch are ya? :) Thanks in advance.