Authors Note: WOOT WOOT! Finally done. Sigh. Still more to come. Hope you enjoy the Anthony bashing. If you want more intense let me know. This isn't one of my best or fave chaps so plz try and hold back the flames. XD. Lub ya GE and Maggie.

Disclaimer: just the usual. Not mine. Etc etc etc…

Rolling Pins and Paranoia

Ever since that day in the living room Mr. Todd had been abusing Mrs. Lovett's assistance, not to anyone's surprise, and was making her run around after him like a slave. So far he had made her leave her shop 20 times, still counting, in the past 2 hours, demanding food, gin, wet towels and other demeaning tasks that she had to perform for the hormonal barber. It did not help that it was a busy day, even with the Beadle's help which wasn't really help at all, more like an annoyance; she still was rushing around never getting a chance to pause and chat with a customer as she usually did.

"Mrs. Lovett!" a voice called from down the hall.

Mrs. Lovett put the customer's meal down the table and sighed in a huff, "Comin' Mr. T!" she yelled.

---

Mr. Todd was lying in Mrs. Lovett's bed with a newspaper in his hands, he was sitting so his back was up against the head of the bed and he didn't seem to be that hurt anymore. Probably wasn't at all.

"What now your graciousness?" Mrs. Lovett asked impatiently, this being the twenty first time he had called for her.

Mr. Todd didn't look up from his paper, "I need you to take the dirty plates out. They're stinkin' up the place." He continued to be entranced in the black and white mess he held in front of his face.

"Now listen here Mr. T, I said I would look after you but I'm not gonna be comin' in and out of here every bloody five minutes." She jibed, trying to pry him away from his newspaper, "I'll take the bowls and such but I don't want to hear from you for at least half an hour. Is that clear?" She pulled down the newspaper in front of him and he looked at her, irritated.

"Yes," he said bluntly, "fine."

She let go of the newspaper and grabbed the bowls on the dresser and put them on the tray she had left there the previous visit, and then left. Mr. Todd was trying to straighten out his newspaper but accidentally ripped the down the side, in anger he scrunched it up and threw it across the room and grumbled to himself.

---

Mrs. Lovett walked into the kitchen and slammed the tray down; everyone stopped eating and looked over at the noise but noticed it was Mrs. Lovett and returned to their food. Mrs. Lovett began placing the cutlery around the sink, banging each one as she went. Toby looked over at the troubled baker and decided he would try to ask what is bothering her, even though he already knew it was Mr. Todd. He walked over and put an empty jug under the tap and began washing it out.

"You alright, marm? You seem a bit...tense." Toby looked at his tired mistress.

She smiled and patted his head, "Yes, love, I'm fine. Just sore from all this running around, that's all."

Toby grabbed the washed jug, refilled it, and took it to a new customer. Mrs. Lovett sighed in relief on realizing she wouldn't be hearing from Mr. Todd in a while, hopefully. She took one of bowls, placed it in the sink and ran the tap. She couldn't help but notice the Beadle's eyes on her. Studying her as if she was a piece of artwork, beady little eyes watching her every move. Greasy little man he is. She thought in disgust.

Just as Mrs. Lovett was about to go serve another customer she heard an unwelcome cry from her room, "Mrs. Lovett!"

It was no surprise to her that Mr. Todd couldn't even last ten minutes before wanting her assistance, again. She really was getting fed up with him; he was like a little boy wanting a lollypop that he couldn't have: he would just ask and ask and ask… Annoying no? Yes, was Mrs. Lovett's answer. She straightened herself out trying to relax as she tried not to show how peeved off she really was, she breathed in and out slowly and paced her steps to Mr. Todd. What did he want this time?

She got to Mr. Todd and folded her arms in front of her chest to show how annoyed she was.

He looked up and greeted her: "About time." He said directly.

Mrs. Lovett was offended by his rudeness, he had barely called her two minutes beforehand.

"I need this paper to be thrown away, I'm done reading." He held out the ball of what used to resemble a newspaper, Mrs. Lovett just looked at it and pushed it away.

"Look Mr. T, I don't really appreciate you calling me in here every five minutes. I have people that want pies and I'm running out of meat. Fast." She was stooped over him, hands on hips. Her 'motherly talk' pose. Mr. Todd just stared at her.

She continued, "I want you to get off your bleeding arse and start slashing some throats or…"

"Or?" he pressed her.

"You could do the final test now, either that or admit defeat to some kids that are twice as young as you…" she smiled at her own wittiness while examining her nails. This was a good plan, at least to make him stop calling after her.

"What!" he looked astounded, "Fine. Test now. Slash, later."

Mrs. Lovett was pleased with her achievement.

---

"Remind me why we have to do this again?" asked Mr. Todd whilst being in a great deal of pain.

Mrs. Lovett breathed in and raised her arms, "Because, love, it's good for the mind and soul… and stuff…"

Mrs. Lovett was relaxed. Mr. Todd was sore and confused. Anthony was following Mrs Lovett's lead. Toby was falling asleep and the Beadle was enjoying his view.

They were doing yoga.

Mrs. Lovett had seen someone in St Dunstan's earlier that week on one of those traveling caravans doing yoga, they had come from somewhere in the middle east, and when she was there she thought she would like to try it one day. When she had the time that is. So since that this was really her only chance, she would make the last test yoga. She had to close up the shop of course, she wasn't going to risk loosing all her customers because of a man that didn't know what the hell he was doing, also known as Beadle Bamford. In other words, it was either close the shop or loose the shop.

To Mrs. Lovett, right now, yoga was the best thing in the world. Well, besides Mr. Todd returning her unrequited love. When she had mentioned what they were going to have to do, Mr. Todd just looked at her as she was stupid; he had never even done yoga let alone know what it was. Anthony on the other hand, knew quite a bit about it, seeing how he was a sailor and all, he had been to many different places and India just happened to one of them.

Mrs. Lovett moved her legs out in front of her and leant down to grab her toes, she felt an aching pain shoot up her legs, she inhaled sharply but then steadied her breathes holding the position for quite some time. Toby sluggishly got into the position and Anthony easily moved in the same way Mrs. Lovett had but Mr. Todd, on the other hand, just groaned the whole time, whining and complaining about the pain but knowing if he gave up he would loose his youth to a couple of blighters more than half his age. Mrs. Lovett was not bothered the slightest bit about Mr. Todd, she was calm and controlled. As was Anthony. She wasn't really sure how someone was going to win this test; she just sort of figured that it would be the last person left.

A loud snore started to arise from Toby's direction; everyone turned and looked at Toby intently. He was snoring, and very heavily for a boy of his age.

"Looks like he's out." The Beadle eventually spoke. He obviously wasn't doing yoga; instead he was sitting on the settee by the fire, which was more like hot coals at this time of day. He shifted his position.

"Looks like the youngest contestant couldn't hack it." Mr. Todd sniggered, still bearing his searing pain. Anthony just breathed in and continued to hold the position.

Mrs. Lovett pulled her legs in and into a diamond shape, holding her feet and leant over with her head almost touching the ground. Again, she had to endure shots of pain that keep retreating up her thighs. Mr. Todd had a great difficulty doing this particular position, him being male and all and was not about to let his pride rip him in half.

"Igiveup." He said it so fast that Mrs. Lovett could barely catch what he said.

"Hmm?" she asked, she was not letting him give in without admitting it loud and clear.

"I said…" Mr. Todd did not want to admit defeat, but, for the sake of his manhood it had to be done "I. Give. Up." his words came through gritted teeth.

"Is that right?" Mrs. Lovett said intently. She was smiling on the inside.

---

They were all sitting around the table in the kitchen drinking gin and ale. Toby had drunk the most so far and Mr. Todd was not far behind, he was just…drinking away the pain. It's not fair. Was Mr. Todd's repetitive thought. It's just not fair. The day had left him weak and solemn, more solemn than usual and it was all Mrs. Lovett's fault. Why couldn't she have made the last test something easier like…cutting someone's throat the fastest or…something…

Mrs. Lovett looked over at the depressed barber. "Now Mr. T…" she said softly, he just looked into his glass, "Don't look so glum, you still look like you're thirty, you know." her last words sounded hesitant.

"Thirty?" Mr. Todd was not about to let himself become even more humiliated.

"I meant twenty-five." She added quickly.

The Beadle grunted. Jealous maybe? His chances of getting to spend more time with Mrs. Lovett were getting slimmer and slimmer by the minute, now that the contest was over. He had to think of something, whilst being pretty drunk. Not a good combination, might I add. Beadle Bamford had considered just coming right out with it but had thought better of it. Or, maybe he should just tell her he is dying need for her love…type thing…

Mrs. Lovett noticed the Beadle mumbling to himself, "What's that, love?"

"She called me 'love'!" He squealed to himself, overjoyed at her use of words. Wait? Did he just say that aloud? He looked up and noticed she was trying to hold back a slight giggle. Damn.

Toby was too off his head to notice what was going on around him and Anthony was just a bystander to the current happenings.

Mr. Todd just shot up out of his seat, not being relevant to latest occurrences, "But that still doesn't change the fact that I lost to that hermit over there!" he said accusingly pointing to Anthony.

Anthony looked up, slowly got up from his chair and tried to back away but Mr. Todd was quick and grabbed him by the collar and threw him towards Mrs. Lovett's baking counter. Anthony stumbled and clung to the counter to steady himself from the jolt of Mr. Todd's throw. Mr. Todd took several strides towards Anthony glowering at him and then lunged towards him with his hands out in front trying grab hold of Anthony's collar. Anthony moved just in time and sent Mr. Todd lurching for thin air.

Anthony and Mr. Todd just glared at each other for several minutes, whilst the others sat in suspension watching and waiting until something happened, suddenly Mr. Todd snatched up Mrs. Lovett's rolling pin.

"I'll teach you to take my youth!" he growled, swinging the rolling pin above his head and chasing the terrified Anthony around the shop.

Mr. Todd ran after him for ages. Anthony had to dodge outside tables, spectators and inside furniture and almost tripped on the hallway carpet. They eventually came back to the kitchen, Anthony ran through the door, ducking past Mrs. Lovett. Mr. Todd followed, not seeing Mrs. Lovett or the pot she held out stretched in her hand, and ran straight into it and crumpled to the ground knocking himself out. Anthony was still running and bolted out the entrance and onto the street heading in the direction of the nearest local inn.

Mrs. Lovett just looked at Mr. Todd's limp figure on the stone floor, "I'm so sorry Mr. T, but it was for the greater good." she put the pot down on the bench. "Toby come here and help me lift 'im." She said looking around the room, "Where's Toby?" she asked, the Beadle just shrugged his shoulders and stood up to help Mrs. Lovett with the unconscious barber. After all, if it's little things that she appreciates…

---

Toby was sitting; rocking rather, in the corner of his room hugging his knees whilst singing a quiet tune about roses and daisies and how buttercups smell delightful, his face was pale and lifeless. He was now even more petrified of the enraged barber then he was before. So much that he couldn't even think of Mr. Todd as even being human or calm, not that he was calm before, hence the song about roses and daisies. Mrs. Lovett's action with the pot was not a good one either; she obviously hadn't thought it through for Toby was now in the state of paranoia with his beloved mistress and he now thought that if he did the slightest thing to upset her she would lash out at him with a pot or a rolling pin, making his life just like it was with Pirelli or at the workhouse.

---

Back in the kitchen, Mrs. Lovett and the Beadle were having a great deal of trouble trying to stand up Mr. Todd; so that they could have each one of his arms on their shoulders and have his feet drag behind them. But they had not been able to achieve their goal just yet, even then they had to take him into the living room and place him on the settee. Mrs. Lovett thought it was best that they not even try to attempt to take him up to his shop, not if she wanted to be just as 'helpless' as Mr. Todd was the past few days. They now had each arm on one of their shoulders, his weight was unwelcome for they were not expecting him to be so much heavier once he was upright, yet they managed. Or, more like Mrs. Lovett managed, with the Beadle being so much shorter than Mrs. Lovett, all Mr. Todd's weight lingered more on Mrs. Lovett's shoulder than the Beadle's. Not making the task any easier, after all, this was Mrs. Lovett's doing.

They slowly pulled Mr. Todd's lifeless frame into the living room, which was now even darker than the previous visit. She really needed to put more coals on the fire. Beadle Bamford hadn't stopped complaining about how heavy Mr. Todd was, Mrs. Lovett now realized how weak he really was, if she could do it with more weight then he really was unfit. Not that that big of news, really.

"Well, Mrs. Lovett my dear, I must be off." Said the Beadle, placing the last of Mr. Todd's weight on the old worn settee, then dusted off his coat.

Mrs. Lovett grabbed Mr. Todd's wandering leg and lifted it onto furniture, "That's alright, love. Help is appreciated. Not that I get much 'round 'ere." She replied, fiddling with Mr. Todd's coat. The Beadle noticed her motherly touch and smiled, a smile half filled with warmth and the other jealousy. Why did her touch fill the Beadle with so much warmth? It baffled him completely. How could someone could love a man like… that.

"Well I better go and get my cane." He said solemnly heading towards the kitchen, hoping Mrs. Lovett would say something to make him stay.

Mrs. Lovett stopped playing with Mr. Todd's attire and straightened up, "It's still in the corner, I think."

Beadle Bamford was harshly disappointed.

He continued out to the kitchen, Mrs. Lovett came through and turned to her bench and began clearing away all the left over plates and put them in the small cupboards under the sink and bench. She walked over the door and sighed, a relived sigh, now that this was all over.

"Might as well get what I can out what's left of the day." She said and lifted the sign turning it back to its original 'All Welcome' side. The Beadle waltzed over with his cane and grabbed Mrs. Lovett's hand and pulled it to his face. Mrs. Lovett was caught off-guard.

"See you soon, my dear. I hope work brings me back to these parts of London." He said with a smirk and went to kiss her hand. Mrs. Lovett quickly pulled it out of his grasp before he had a chance and ushered him out the door with a forced smile and "Okay." She closed the door and relaxed against its frame, breathing heavily. Mrs. Lovett did not want to see his face ever again, especially that close to her or her hand.

A/N: I need some ideas for the next chapter. Kinda like a fill in or something. I have the rest planned. Sort of…