Confessions of the Five De Silva Girls

By: ChocolateEclar

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has to do with the Mediator Series by Meg Cabot/Jenny Carroll, including Jesse (*cough*It would be a great present…*cough*).

Claimer: I may not own the fact that Jesse has five sisters (ages 6-16 when he died), but I do own who the five girls are – i.e. their personalities and names. In short, I own Juanita "Nita" De Silva, Estefana De Silva, Felicidad "Felly" De Silva, Dolores "Dolly" De Silva, and most of all Carmen De Silva. I also own their parents, uncles (except Ricardo's name), aunts, and cousins' personas and names.

To happydrummergal: *laughs* I know you can't get pregnant eleven times in three years, believe me. I may hate math, but I'm not that bad at it. *chuckles* Carmen is writing from the age of twenty-eight (which is why she says, "I may have my share of children – five to be exact at my fine age of twenty eight…"). She's telling about what happened when she was nine, which makes Maria about forty-one. I must've been too vague about the ages. Sorry.

Ouch. Aren't sprained ankles awful? How bad was yours? Mine only stopped me from walking for a day and after that I could limp around. Now it's just a little weaker than the other.

Thanks again. Here's the more you asked for…

A/N: And we're back to Dolly…

Chapter 7: Dolly's Diary – Numero Dos

                                      2 de enero del año 1851 Mis Decimoterceros Cumpleaños!

Querido Diario,

Today is my first birthday without Jesse.

I HATE IT!!!!

As I was opening presents, I could tell Mami was about to cry. She even left the room in between Abuela's gift – a silver charm bracelet like the one she's had since she was a niña – and the present from mis hermanas – a diary already full of funny notes from them. Estefana said they'd been making it little by little since March. Can you imagine? MARCH? There's a lot of notes from Jesse. I can't bear to read them right now.

                                      Tu amiga deprimida,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      9 de enero del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Estefana is having her first birthday without Jesse as well, and I can tell she's not taking it well even though it's her Quinceañera. She keeps staring at the miniature of him she painted resting on the mantel. When we returned from church and the party had begun, she excused herself and went out onto the porch at noon. She painted a huge portrait of Jesse from memory. It was a full body painting of him in a loose white shirt and black pants. They were his usual attire – unlike the fancy stuff he had on in the miniature.

After it was finished – hours later – we all gathered around it and gawked. It was like looking at the real Jesse – our living, breathing Jesse.

More than a few of us began to cry at that point. Even with most of her pent up emotion used on the painting, Estefana still managed to sob as loudly as Mami.

                                      Tu amiga deprimida,

                                      Dolores

                                      **********

                                      10 de enero del año 1851

Querido Diario,

I have been reading the diary from mis hermanas, and I love it! The first made me tear up though:

                                      8 de marzo del año 1850

Querida Dolly,

¡Te amo, mi hermanita! I hope you treasure this as much as we do as we write it! It was Jesse's idea of course. (You know our hermano.) (Me: That I do.)

Con cariña,

Nita

Dear Dolores,

Don't listen to Juanita. This isn't all my idea.

On another note, we all love you and wish you the best of everything! It seems like you've always had your nose in a diary, so we decided to make you one filled with our love for our dear sister!

Jesse (Me: God, that hurts to read! We love you, Jesse!)

Dolores,

I pray you will appreciate this.

Tu hermana,

Felicidad (Me: Felly, how dull can you get? Thank you anyway.)

Hola, Dolly!

I love you too! Jesse has such great ideas, doesn't he? I know you will love this!

Love, Carmen (Me: You're too precious, hermanita.)

Dolly,

On the next page is a little sketch of the fields around the ranch. I know how much you love hiding in the tall grass. Carmen decided to model for it as I suspect you can tell. Doesn't she look adorable with her head poking over the fence with the grass all around?

Afectuosamente,

Estefana (Me: I love the sketch – if you can even call it a sketch that is! It's more like a mini-masterpiece! Carmen looks just right too.)

I love this. Jesse always had – has– the best ideas. I have to keep reminding myself Carmen can still see him… I can't believe what happened to Jesse! That Diego guy! GRRRRR!

Oh! I have to go and help Carmen milk the cows. I will yell more about Felix Diego later.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      11 de enero del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Time to complain about Felix Diego (and Maria):

*Begin Rant*

HE SHOULD GET STRUCK BY LIGHTNING AND KICKED OUT OF HEAVEN AFTER DEATH!!!

And how dare Maria be engaged to him!!! He's a snake! A murderer!

*End Rant*

                                      Dolores the Grief-Stricken

                                      **********

                                      21 de enero del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Another entry from the diary mis hermanas gave me:

                                      10 de marzo del año 1850

Well done. I knew you could do it.

~Jesse

I could not even spell "encyclopedia" when I was your age. (Then again, I'm more of an art person than a writing/spelling person, so that makes sense.) Keep up the great work, dear!

~Estefana

We are so proud of you! I cannot believe you won that spelling bee!

~Nita

I hope one day I can spell all those big words. You did great!

~Carmen

I suppose it's because I'm older that I learned those words so much sooner, but nice job anyway.

~Felicidad (Me: Felly, you snob!)

A lot of entries were like this. They had made comments on every big event…

I refuse to look at what they wrote about Jesse's death though. I cannot bear it yet.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      4 de febrero del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Spring seems to be already around the corner! It's so nice and warm! Hace fresco!

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      10 de febrero del año 1851

Querido Diario,

I discovered my first diary – the one Abuela gave me for Three Kings Day back when I was six years old. It was sitting in the cupboard in the upstairs hallway, covered in thick, grimy dust. The first entry made me happy and depressed all in only a few minutes. I described Jesse as "good at spelling and reading and writing," explained how "Papi says he's already becoming a good hombre" and how, "Abuela and I think someday there will be lots of girls wanting to court him."

That will never happen now.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      11 de febrero del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Little Carmen is seven years old today. Mis hermanas and I each made her a stuffed animal:

Nita made a cat that looks like Dulce (but kinder).

Estefana made a bird (even though she hates sewing).

Felly made a bear. (It's creepy looking. It looks like it could strangle you in the night!)

And I made a puppy! (It's white and black, and now I want one!)

Carmen loves them all. After we gave her all the presents, she went up to her room and talked to Jesse for an hour. We all could not help but feel saddened and joyful at the same time. Our Jesse was dead, but far from gone in the eyes of our little one.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      23 de febrero del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Maria has set a date for her wedding to Felix Diego…

…July eleventh! As Estefana pointed out to the others and I, that's exactly one year and nine years after Jesse died! HOW CAN MARIA BE SO CRUEL? She is related to us after all!

That is it. The five of us have decided we are going to ignore and not give Maria any presents. Even for her wedding day. Hopefully that will show her!

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      18 de marzo del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Nita is seventeen! Can you believe it? She looks so much like Mami. She didn't accept Maria's gift of a new quilted petticoat. What a good idea! Another way of boycotting ties with our heartless prima and her murdering husband.

More importantly, Owen gave Nita a promise ring!!! AHHH! He told her when she was ready he had something to ask her! As Jesse – may he rest in peace – would say, "Nombre de Dios!" This is fabulous!

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      7 de abril del año 1851

Querido Diario,

I can barely write I'm so exited! I met a boy in town to die for! His name is Alejandro Ramón, and he is a year older than me! He is smart and funny and…

…very, very, VERY good-looking!

OH MY GOD!

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      3 de julio del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of Jesse's death…

Yesterday was also when Mami had what Uncle Ricardo calls a "little nervous breakdown." It was like the day Jesse vanished… His wedding day… That day Mami just shrieked and cried for hours.

This was similar, but in this case Mami threw things like her china and little glass figurines and wouldn't let Papi near to comfort her. Eventually, Nita was ordered by Papi to get Mami's hermano, Uncle Hector, and his wife, Aunt Ana Maria. By the time they arrived, Mami was curled up sobbing under a blanket whispering Jesse's name.

Uncle Hector calmed Mami down and rocked her to sleep. I hope she will be okay.

Yesterday mis hermanas and I visited the little stone marker we made to honor Jesse. We set fresh wild flowers beside it and sang songs around the tree it was under. None of us were dry-eyed before long.

When we got back – this was after Mami's incident – we sat down together, and I read the long solo entry Jesse had placed for June twenty-eighth of last year…His last entry:

                                      28 de junio del año 1850

Dear Dolores,

How time flies. I remember when you were only a tot scribbling on Estefana's sketchpads – causing her to cry – and tugging on Dulce's tail – causing some awful scratches to be inflicted on you. Now you are twelve years of age, hermanita, and growing to be a lady. As the only male of the five of us, I have been ordered by our dear sisters to write this entry on future struggles that await you.

To begin, I must say I may be no expert on relationships between a man and woman – even though I am due to wed in four days – but I know a few things:

1. Trust your instincts to a degree. If you are divided: trust the advice of people you know will only instruct you honestly and aren't naïve.

2. Life comes with good and bad times. You have to take the good with the bad.

Now back to other things.

Always remember each and ever person has his or her own personality and preferences. Take our family for example:

Nita…Calm, Easy-going, but when you anger her watch out, and loves writing letters.

Estefana…Delicate, loves to paint, but hates to write or read.

Felicidad…Stubborn, overconfident, indifferent – yet she cares deeply about being organized.

Carmen…Innocent, easily roused, full of life, but loves to write unlike Estefana.

You…Gentle, loving, easily affronted, and shy.

Me…(It's hard to describe ones' self) Scholarly, helpful, and I can't think of anything else.

(Me: And a good hermano!)

See? Even we are different. Remember that if, say, Felly does not agree with you – something she does with everyone – every person can have different points of view: all of them can be correct.

There is my advice for the day. That was not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Affectionately,

Your brother Jesse

Jesse died four days after t

                                      **********

                                      5 de julio del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Sorry, I did not finish the last entry but I couldn't bear to. It hurt too much. I was sobbing dreadfully.

Oh no. The tears are starting again. I have to go.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      11 de julio del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Today is Maria and Felix Diego's wedding. All five of us girls have refused to come to the wedding, but will be at the reception…nowhere near Maria unless to make a snide remark.

This is going to be great!

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      12 de julio del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Uncle Ricardo called mis hermanas and I disgraces to the family for acting badly at Maria's wedding. Nita and Abuela screamed at him in Spanish. Maria and Felix Diego looked fit to kill when Carmen hollered, "YOU KILLED JESSE!" at Diego.

I loved it!

It hurt when Mami said she agreed with Uncle Ricardo though.

Have I mentioned the five of us are stuck doing tons of extra chores? I hate it, but I still think it was worth it.

Except the fact that now I cannot see Alejandro for a month!

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      12 de agosto del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Sorry I have not written since the day after the wedding, but Uncle Ricardo convinced Mami she was not being hard enough on us, so she took away things we each love:

My diary,

Nita's letters from Owen and her promise ring,

Estefana's paper and paints,

Felly's organizer notebook,

And Carmen's books.

It was horrible at first – Carmen even cried – but we worked together to amuse each other.

I'm still really glad I got my diary back though!

Estefana won another art contest on July twenty-eighth with the painting of the Pacific Ocean and the beach she made in May. The plaque she won is in the sitting room. I think it improved Mami's mood. She has been angry with us since the wedding.

Lately, I feel as if the five of us are growing apart from our madre.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      30 de agosto del año 1851

Querido Diario,

I just saw Alejandro! He likes what we did at Maria's wedding. He says it serves her right.

I think I found someone who understands us! He met Maria at a party once in the BD – aka Before Diego – Days and she flirted with him. He says he agrees with Abuela – that Maria would have become a "prostituta" if she had not settled down with Diego.

I think I'm in love!

Oops. Papi saw me write that… He looks like he is not sure whether to shout or smirk.

Thank God, he decided to just let it go and smirk. Mami would have been upset.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      13 de septiembre del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Felly has become fourteen today. She was quiet all day though. I think she cannot think of anything to keep from not thinking of Jesse anymore. Especially since Jesse used to wake everyone but our padres and Felly up early to bake Felly's favorite treat: Churros. Churros are pastries with a sweet cinnamon taste that you can eat with chocolate sauce or cream-filled. Yum! Jesse would gather the ingredients, Nita would read each step of the recipe, Carmen and I would put the ingredients together, and Estefana usually would shape the Churros into long flute-like pieces, and then we would put them over a fire.

This year four of us made the Churros in tears and presented them to Felly. I could tell even high and mighty Felly was touched.

Nothing seems to be the same without Jesse.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      25 de septiembre del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Alejandro said he would ride over to the ranch today on his gray horse, Ezekiel. I'm so excited!!!

I will write more afterwards.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      26 de septiembre del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Nombre de Dios!!!!!

Alejandro kissed me!!!!!!!

I am in heaven!!!!!!

More later.

                                      Tu amiga emocionada,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      27 de septiembre del año 1851

Querido Diario,

I told mis hermanas all the details about the kiss, and even Felly thought it was a good first kiss. I asked her if she had ever been kissed, and she said that was a secret. I bet she kissed that brown-haired boy from Carmel who she always dances with atleast once at parties.

Nita says she has kissed Owen before, but not to tell Mami.

Mami would go into a speech about saving yourself until you are happily married.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      4 de noviembre del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Today is Maria's twentieth birthday, but mis hermanas and I have refused to get her anything like at her wedding. We are not even wishing her a happy birthday.

I hope Maria's happy! (Not!) She had her own primo murdered and now is paying for it with the friendship of her primas!

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolores

                                      **********

                                      1 de deciembre del año 1851

Querido Diario,

Christmas is right around the corner. Carmen says Jesse will be in the house on Christmas and Three Kings Day even though we won't be able to see him.

That fact actually comforts me. It's good to know he is watching over us.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      12 de deciembre del año 1851

Querido Diario,

We are half-heartedly decorating for the holidays. Our room has beads and paper figures hanging.

Carmen says Jesse says the decorations look fine.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      25 de deciembre del año 1851 Navidad!

Querido Diario,

FELIZ NAVIDAD!

I had to wear a hoop skirt today even though I hate too. A hoop skirt coupled with petticoats and a dress is just too heavy!

My gifts were:

A new navy blue dress with puffy sleeves and a matching straw bonnet with an azure ribbon, two news books, four new diaries, and a new pair of gold hoop earrings.

Carmen chatted with Jesse quite a bit throughout the party. I wish I could as well.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolly

                                      **********

                                      2 de deciembre del año 1852

                                      Uno Año Nuevo/Mis Decimocuartos Cumpleaños!

Querido Diario,

Yesterday began a new year of my life. Will this year bring more sorrow? Will Nita be married? Will Maria drop dead?

Anyway, today is my fourteenth birthday. I feel no different physically, but mentally I feel strained. I am still recovering from the loss of mi hermano – as our mis hermanas.

One good spot in my horizon is the prospect of more kisses with Alejandro…

Mmmm, I really think I am in love.

The same can be said about Nita and her Owen. Maybe next time he visits us from Mexico, he will bring an engagement ring and ask Nita the question.

I get the feeling Estefana and Pedro Morales may be engaged beforehand. I know Estefana is only almost sixteen, but I have a feeling she is ready to wed.

I bet if Jesse would have lived he would have already had a child…

…with Maria.

EWWWWWWW!

When I think of that, it makes me glad Jesse died when he did instead of being tied down by that witch.

I still miss him terribly though.

                                      Tu amiga,

                                      Dolores

************************************************************************

A/N: This has been another long year in the life of Dolores De Silva… *laughs*

A/N 2: Next chapter: Felly's Files – Numero Dos! REMEMBER: REVIEW! Bye! ^__^