Warnings: Incase you don't know about this yet, it is SLASH! And if you find something wrong with two little six grade boys doing "bad" stuff then turn back now or don't bother reviewing if you will bitch at me. Okay? Ok. Also, as usual, these creatures will swear like normal teenagers do. FYI, this is the next to last chapter.

Thank you so much Lost Tiger for beta-ing this chapter!

Disclaimer: If I owned them then they would be my slaves...so good thing for them I don't.

Freddy's POV.

"Zack? Is something wrong?" I said into the telephone.

His words were tremulous. Sacred of what- I wasn't so sure.

"I'm coming over but don't tell your mom. I'll come through the window, like always." he ordered, his voice sounded stronger then it had been before at that moment. The phone line clicked and it was silent.

I flipped my cell phone shut and put it next to me on my night stand. I looked down at my half eaten spaghetti. My mother had given me the leftovers from the dinner I had missed due to band practice. I wasn't that hungry now that I had Zack to worry about. I placed it beside my phone on the night stand. I got off from my bed and went over to the window seat that had brought back many memories from the past years, all having to do with Zack. I remembered that night Zack's mother had died. We were both 8.

Flashback

I tossed and turned in my covers. The blankets and sheets that were tucked in about a hour before under my chin by my mom, eventfully fell to the floor. I couldn't take it anymore. I rolled to the side of my bed and got off. I was regretting getting out of the warm bed, since it was a freezing December night. Snow was falling with great speed and drive. I had so much fun that day because it had been a snow day. I had sled down the hill across the street about five hundred times that day. I felt as thought I was too tired to fall asleep, if that was possible. Suddenly, a stick hit my window, making me jump from the unexpected object in the midst of the snowflakes.

I knew what that stick hitting my window meant-Zack. He was standing on the log pile that seemed huge to me at the time. He usually tended to call first, but this time it was too important and late to call. I opened up my window and glanced down at the shaking figure. His bowl shaped haircut was incrusted with snowflakes. Out of reflex I reached down, holding my hands out to him. Me always being the stronger one, made it easy for me to get him inside my room. He was strangely lighter and smaller than most boys his age and still is.

I closed the window and looked at him. He had immediately went for the blankets, wrapping them around his form.

"What happened? Its really late." I said, not trying to yawn even though my eyes were slits.

He plopped down on the side of my bed, his legs dangling over the edge. I just stood there dumbfounded, in the middle of my room.

"My mom died." he said, simply, as though it was an unimportant statement or minor excuse for "waking me up".

I sat down next to him, trying to think of what to say. I didn't know. I had never before dealt with death in any way, except the time my gold fish died when I was 2.

"How?" I wondered aloud, my curiosity getting the better of me since I had nothing wise to say.

"My grandma told me that my mommy got so sad she made herself die or something like that. I cant remember that much," he said, confusion inside his words.

Tears went steaming down his face, his face twisted and contorted with anger, sadness, confusion and every negative feeling imaginable.

"She went away on purpose. She left me because she wanted to!" he shouted, burying his face into my shoulder.

I embraced him, tears falling down my face and cheek bones. I cried because I was powerless to console or help me friend who was in need of help.

End of Flashback

Like deja-vu, a twig magically appeared in front of the window. I opened up the window. The site that waited below me was slightly different that I expected. My bird's eye view gave me a good look of his hair, which was a tousled mess that blades of grass seemed to live in. His hair was never messy. He always made sure it was combed. 'Something must be wrong.' I thought.

He lifted up his hands, and I pulled him in with ease. My body was heavier than his which kept me from falling out as well. I had gained a lot of weight this summer, mostly muscle. He was still the tiny boney kid with the long hair, but I had changed.

"What in the hell happened to you?" I commented on his ripped T-shirt and bloody head.

He only pouted, his bottom lip sticking out like a 4 year old. Blood dripped from the top of his head, as well did a tear coming from his eye. I thought of it as they were both racing to make it down his face trying to beat the other to the finish line. I sighed, and he continued to pout. He crossed his arms, and I looked around nervously. I still never knew what to do in these situations.

I gave up on trying to stand still, and shut the window. There wasn't any point to bring the coldness inside. The knock at the door made my form jump with worry. "Where do I put him?" I asked myself, as if he was a imamate object.

"Fred?" my mother called.

We looked at each other, eyes ablaze with panic, both of us worried but taking no action, in hope she would somehow go away. I finally moved, reopening the window. His eyes went from showing panic to disappointment and sadness. He obeyed, climbing back out. When I heard the sound of him landing on the logs for the fire place, I allowed my mother to come in.

"I have something to tell you about- Fredrick! Why in the hell is your window opened? You want to get sick and then give it to your father and I?" my mother, also easily distracted like me, closed my window.

I sent a silent prayer to God that she wouldn't look down and find Zack there. She didn't. I made a mental note to thank him later.

"Okay, anyway...I found Zack's notebook in the backseat while looking for my Randy Travis CD." she told me, acting concerned.

I was too, because she liked Randy Travis! How embarrassing for her to be driving around town with me next to her, with that CD blaring? That's why I had stole it and threw it out the school bus window one morning.

"Its very concerning. I have it on my desk, let me get it for you." she continued.

I waited, hoping Zack was okay. Not only was I worried about his notebook, but the fact he was outside in he freezing cold at 7PM.

My mother returned, black and white Composition book in hand.

Handing it to me she said "Read it and tell me what you think. I think I might need to talk to his Father about this.".

I was dumb stuck. I couldn't speak. What could be so horrible she had to tell an equally horrible man about? I took the notebook and led her out the door, closing the door after her. I threw the notebook in my night stand drawer, saving it for later.

Another twig was thrown at my window and I jumped in pure terror from all the excitement about Zack's notebook. It faded after I realized it was Zack getting my attention. I rushed to open the window again only to find him trying to climb up my house. All I could think of is what the neighbors were seeing.

I lowered my hands and he grabbed on. His fingers caressed over my knuckles and the freckle the base of my right pinkie. While trying to not be distracted by his wandering fingers, I lifted his light body into my bedroom. He fell on top of me, knocking me over. I was expecting a kiss for some reason, but instead I received his head into my chest. He listened to my heart beat, gaining speed and loudness with each passing second. I ran my fingers through his greasy hair, although it was dirty looking it felt soft in my hands. Tears fell onto the cotton of my T-shirt, seeping onto my skin.

What seemed like a hour (but what was really 15 minutes), had passed. My eyes were closing, barely slits, but I fought to stay awake for my Zack. I closed my eyes for seconds, left them open for another 5. Close, open, close, open.

Zack rolled off of me, so in the position of lying next to me. His

head turned to face mine. His full lips seemed redder and fuller than

usual at that moment. I leaned in, kissing them, as if I was trying

to suck the color out of them.

My hand pulled my body on top of his. Then I sat for another long time, straddling him and inspecting him all the while.

"Tell me what happened." I demanded, but in a quiet voice.

Zack looked past me, as if I was invisible, as trying to get away from me, from here, from everything he knew.

"I don't want to talk about it. I just wanted to stay over here tonight, is that ok?" were the words his lips produced, although I wasn't really concentrating on the meanings. I was completely distracted, more that usual. My brain tried to focus on how shiny his hair looked in the light and his breath on my face.

"Freddy," his voice woke me out of my thoughts and concentration "Can I use your shower?".

"Yeah, sure." I answered like a robot, not really sure of what was happening.

Even more things began buzzing around in my head. The notebook, my homework, square dancing, the Battle of the Bands, Katie, Randy Travis, and most importantly- Zack. One other thing that I was wondering about was why was my ADD acting up so badly. I then remembered that I had dropped my Ritalin in between the couch cushions that morning. My parents had already left for work and I was in a hurry to catch the bus- so I didn't take it. Wonderful...

I got up off of Zack, after forcing myself to focus and clear clutter from my mind. He entered my adjoining bathroom, and I heard the shower water pelt on the floor. A smiled etched onto my face. I had a plan.

I threw off my clothes, as fast as I had ever before. I opened the bathroom door, cringing at the creak it made.

"Is some one there?" I heard him call.

I froze. Finally he continued washing. I listened to the sound of lots water dropping every few moments onto the shower floor, and gurgling into the drain. I could only see his shadow threw the bright yellow and blue stripped curtain. I crept up to it, very slowly. He seemed to be busy enough not to notice any shadows or movement. I listened for my cue, the yelp of soap in his eyes. I had a feeling the soap from his long bangs would get in his eyes. I slid the curtain on its pole, happy to see him facing away from me, and climbed in.

'Crap!' I thought. He reached for the moveable shower head, which was behind me. I crouched down onto the floor, but not as graceful as I had hoped for. My hand touched his foot my mistake. His other kicked toward me in fright. I took the kick right in the cheek.

"Jesus, Zackattack. No wonder Dewy gave you that name...fuck." I managed through fingers as I held my face.

"Freddy? What the fuck? Why are you in here? Oh, God." he realized.

He pulled the shower curtain over the lower half of his body.

"I just thought you could use some company. I was just coming to say 'Hi', but did you really think I would come in here with my clothes on?" I whined, pouting for effect.

"You're really something, Jones." Zack rolled his eyes

"That's what they tell me." I replied, looking up at him, grinning.

"Now get out!"

My crouched form stood up, still one hand was holding onto my cheek. Although one of my eyes was covered, I could still see and follow Zack's wandering eyes.

"Like what you see, Mooneyham?"

His face turned red, glaring at me as though I said insulted him.

"Don't be so pissy. I don't mind." I said flirtatiously while I stepped out of the shower.

After I excited the bathroom and put on some boxers for "bedtime". I reached for my Green Day CD, 'Warning' and shoved it in the stereo. I was obsessed with Green Day. I had every CD they ever made.

"Warning, live without warning!" I sang along as I pulled back the covers.

I paced back and forth in front of the bath room door for what seemed like an eternity, as I was some animal in a cage. I was getting antsy, and that wasn't a good thing...

"Caution Police Line! You better not cross!" I shouted to Zack as he walked through the door with a towel wrapped around his body.

His dark, wet, hair dripped onto his cheeks and nose. The drops of water slid down his face and onto his body and then onto the hardwood floor. Although it was hard to see his rolling, sarcastic, pools of chocolate through his long bangs, I could see his eyes roll. My mind concentrated on the drops of water and the path they traveled. I dreamt I was the drop and I was sliding down his body. I got lost in the fair skin and wetness.

The heavy drum beat of the next song woke me up. My lips made contact with his cheeks, sucking them. My hands traveled the same paths the liquid had. I pulled his hair back so I could have a better and bigger palate to make my mark on.

My hands were more curious and excited than my mind could handle. One cupped his face while one pried at the towel around his waist. A squeal of shock escaped from his lips.

"No." he replied breathlessly.

I knew how to play him. I suddenly crossed my arms and plopped on the side of my bad with out saying a word.

"What the fuck? You such a loser, Freddy."

I gave him the famous "questioning eyebrow".

He ignored it and pulled out a pair of boxers from my drawer. I started to grin, realizing he took a smaller size than me. The ones I was wearing were decorated with bright flames. The ones he was attempting to wear were red and plaid. I laid onto the center of my bed, my legs and arms spread out away from my body. He returned from the bathroom, and the boxers were on. The waist line fell just below his belly button.

"Where am I going to sleep?" Zack asked.

"On me. Where else did you think?" I replied quickly.

I received another eye roll and he pushed my body to the other side. Zack got on his stomach, his head at the foot board for a reason I didn't quite understand, but I took advantage of anyways. I climbed on top of him. I figured if my mom walked in I could just tell her a shot of adrenaline and lust made me do this, as if it was as simple to blame it on something. That was partly true.

"Freddy, fucking, Jones! What in the hell are you doing?"

I thought it was my Mom, but realized it was just Zack. Its sad how much he sounds like her...

I couldn't reply. All I could do was take in the sight and smell of him. I started with his back, eyeing each inch of his skin lovingly, trying to understand and memorize each blemish and tone. Almost like a camera snap shot or something like that. I studied him and blocked out everything else.

"Freddy, you're hurting me!" he woke me from my daze yet again.

Reluctantly, I pushed my body upward and off of him. Immediately, I was pushed down on my back by a long-haired grinning creature that I was fascinated with.

"How did you get so strong?"

"I don't know." He shrugged.

I wiggled and squirmed, but my body was firmly held up against the ugly floral comforter my mother put on my bed this morning.

"I thought you were a prude?"

"I am not!"

"Then I can do this!" I said enthusiastically as I held on to the elastic waist of the boxers, slowly sliding them down.

"Freddy, seriously, don't do it." His voice was more firm, and urgent, almost afraid.

I yanked them down none the less, and heard a yelp of shock.

I couldn't help myself- I had to look. My eyes closed and from my lips escaped a soft moan. My left leg twitched. My body had suddenly become uncontrollable. His weight lifted off of me.

"What the fuck? What is your problem? Can't I get horny once in while?" I said, startled.

I reached over and shut off the stereo. The boxers he was wearing were already pulled up as he entered the bath room. As I got closer I heard running water and the sound of teeth being brushed in the silence. I stumbled in, still confused and in a daze. He turned around and noticed me, giving me a death glare. I was so confused. Why was he so mad? I thought he wanted me to love him? He spit an blue-colored, foamy, liquid that slid into the drain.

"Stop being such a fucking tease, Zack!" I exploded.

"I'm so sick and tired of you pushing me away whenever I try loving you. Don't you love me? That's what it all fucking seemed like until you got all weird on me! If you're gonna keep acting this way then fucking get out and don't ever come back, you fag!"

I opened my eyes that I didn't realized had been closed. His face was red, but not the shade it gets when he's embarrassed, but it was angry red dark red. Tears rolled uncontrollably down his cheeks. This time they dropped on the floor, making a soft, almost un-audible noise as they landed. He took deep, choking and gasping breaths as he cried. I was stupid. It was as simple as that. I had just completely insulted somebody I really loved. I felt like dog shit on the bottom of someone's shoe. I felt like dirt. No, I felt worse. There were no words to describe how I felt. Okay, maybe there was one. Shit. I felt like shit.

He fell to the ground, still sobbing. His head leaned up against the cabinet that was underneath the sink. He rubbed his eyes and covered them. Out of sheer sadness or frustration, he hit his head against the hard surface. Assorted toiletries fell into sink from their position on the counter

My slow mind finally kicked in- 'Do something you, retard!' Not knowing what else to do, I crouched down and looked at him like I was a teacher who was coming into eye contact with a child. Feeling my presence, he stopped. We made eye contact for almost an eternity. My eyes showed concern, his, hatred. I leaned in. My fingers held his chin. I wanted to kiss him, to kiss his pain away. His head turned away, and fresh tears rolled down his face.

"I'm only 12," he mumbled so soft I had to strain to hear "and in 6th grade. That's not old enough. It will never be fucking old enough for it to be okay, and right for us to do that kind of stuff. And I don't want to, Freddy. Is that so much to freaking ask from you? Are you so egotistical and selfish that just because I don't want to be naked together and do something I know I will regret later, and then you get pissed at me and tell me to never come back?"

His words made me feel worse than I felt before. They made me feel like I wanted to die. Like I wanted to run away and never come back. That I never wanted to see him again. His brown eyes would remind me of this moment for eternity.

"So tell me something Freddy, is this going to work? No, that's not the right question. Are you going to make it work? Are you going to not insult me for not wanting to be with you that way, or will you deal?"

"Why do you still want to be with me?" I croaked.

"That's beside the point. Answer the question I asked before."

"I'm sorry. I'm the stupidest, most mean, retarded, fucked up, selfish person in the world. But I want to be with you. I'll do whatever you want. I just want you to be my...whatever its called. I just want you to be it. That's all." I said. I thought I would say more, but I didn't, I was silent after that.

"Okay, you're partly forgiven. Just don't do it again. I knew you didn't mean it, right?"

I laughed. He was so innocent and sweet like that.

"I'm not lying. I really am sorry." I giggled again "Can we just please go to bed now?"

We both stood up and walked over to my bed. I had to study it for a minute, circle my prey before I pounced so I could find the perfect spot.

We both finally settled on our places, and I turned off the light. Now I didn't feel tired for some reason. I rolled over on my side, and was greeted with a mouthful of dark hair. My mouth slide downward to his neck. I kissed, like little butterflies against the smooth, fair skin.

"Can I do this?" I whispered.

He made no reply. His legs crossed a little under the blankets. I grinned on his neck. I blew soft air that made his hair flutter. Some made the back of his neck turn red. My neck was tired from holding my head up. It rested in the crook of his.

"So what happened tonight? With you and your Dad?" I breathed.

"Freddy, don't play dumb. You know he hurts me."

"Bad tonight, huh?"

There was silence I wondered if I had said the wrong thing. Did I send him over the edge again?

"You don't know Freddy. And you don't wanna, anyway. And that's okay, too."

So I hadn't gotten him really mad. A smile crept on my face.

"What do you want to be or have, in like, 10 years?"

"What? Freddy, why are you being so random?"

"I don't know, just answer the damn question."

"Hmmm. A band. A job. A kid. And you, of course. What about you? What do you want from life?"

"The same thing." I laughed, "Now go to sleep."

"But Spazzy, it's only-"

"Shhh," I cut him off "Now go to sleep."

He reluctantly rolled over and nestled into the covers. I sat up and stroked the damp strands of his hair that were peeking out from under the covers.

I heard soft, wispy snoring coming from Zack soon after. Satisfied, I reached over and turned on a light. I opened the drawer and opened the notebook. I turned it to the first page.

Dear Diary,

I know it's kind of weird that I'm keeping this and all. I heard that writing down your feelings it the best thing to do when your angry or sad or mad or happy or in love. I have decided to give it a try. My dad hit me again. I wouldn't stop playing my guitar so he slapped me in the face. I wish I didn't have to live with him anymore. I could run away, but that wouldn't really work… Actually, I wish I could stand up for my self and tell him to step off. That's what I really want.

Zack (Jan 5)

Dear Diary,

Life. Fucking. Sucks. Write more later.

Zack (Jan 29)

Huh? What in the hell did that mean? I flipped the page and read the next entry.

Dear Diary,

I'm so happy we went and got Dewey back because we wouldn't have won the Battle of the Bands without him. My solo went so awesome that my dad took me out to ice cream afterwards. I thought he was going to beat the crap out of me for going to the concert despite his orders but he was happy I was good at something. Life doesn't seem to suck anymore.

Zack (Feb 1)

I remember how freaked he was that day. Good thing he still did it. And maybe his dad wasn't so bad.

Dear Diary,

I am so glad I decided to write in this diary. I really need you to tell my true feelings. I'm starting to like this boy. I've known him so long and all and now that I'm a teenager I'm stating to love him! I never thought I would be gay. Maybe I should hide it a little while until I'm completely sure. Maybe I should see what girls are like a little bit before I go for him. In things like this, once you can never go back.

Zack (Feb 7)

Dear Diary,

Man, I haven't written here in a while. Anyway, I wrote a song today about the one I love.

They won't ever know how I feel

They might guess, but they won't know

We're so close, yet so far away

How can I tell them without my insecurities getting in the way?

Save me

Help me

Find a way to tell them

That I love them

When I look into those brown eyes

I know they're the ones

That I want looking into mine forever

They won't ever know how I feel

They might guess, but they won't know

We're so close, yet so far away

How can I tell them without my insecurities getting in the way?

Save me

Help me

Find a way to tell them

That I love them

I wanna tell them

But I'm afraid, yeah

Zack (Nov 3)

Shit. Does my mom know he likes me?!?! Crap, what I'm gonna do? I don't want her to know! Is this what is so horrible that she has to talk to his dad about? Oh no...

I rolled out of bed and rushed out the door, notebook in hand. I locked the door behind me. My eyes darted down the hallway. I could see a shadow of light and hear the noise of one of my mom's soaps. I peeked inside to find my mom curled up on her bed, robotically eating popcorn from the bag.

"Mom?"

The TV turned to a commercial on Gold Bond Foot Powder. She hit mute on the remote and patted the empty side of the bed next to her.

"Dad working late again?"

"Yeah" she nodded, "What's a matter, hon?"

"Uh, what is the reason you have to talk to his dad."

"Who, Zack?"

I nodded

She sighed "Did you read the part about him hurting him? I tell you, that is the most in-humane thing I've ever heard. And on such a sweet and polite boy like Zack? You are so lucky to have a friend like him, you know that?"

I ignored the last part.

"Did you read the part about him being-"

"Yes, and I think it's very sweet. I don't care about who. It's probably that Billy kid, right?"

"I don't know, but thanks mom.

I leapt up off of her bed and went back to my room. He was still asleep.

Yes, I was very lucky. Very, very lucky indeed.