Author's Note: Here's the next chapter, SM owns the characters. Thanks to everyone who is still reading and reviewing, you know I love to hear your thoughts.
Pretty Little Secrets Chapter 6
Meeting Embry's 'family' was a lot less nerve racking than I was expecting, but then again everything was with Embry at my side. Sure they were all kind of wary of the new girl, but very welcoming. Bella's dad and stepmom were especially welcoming to me, the reminded me so much of my own parents. Rachel I had already met so she and I made conversation easily. Embry didn't leave my side unless Bella was there, and I was grateful to both of them.
While they were all still unsure of me, it seemed that having Embry and I work things out worked in my favor. Later in the evening after most of the older family left, I was sitting with Kim, Rachel, Emily and Bella watching the guys play Corn Hole out in the yard. I caught myself several times staring at Emily's face. She had four long scars down the side pulling her lip into a frown. I noticed the same marks on her arm. They looked a lot like mine. I shuddered at the thought that she had gone through something like me.
"It's ok, you can ask." Emily said after one of my many stares, "It's been a long time, I don't mind anymore."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare," I looked down ashamed of being so blatantly obvious.
"It comes with the territory," she said offering me a kind smile.
"I have my own you know." They all snapped their heads in my direction, from the corner of my eye I saw all the young guys do the same as though they were listening. Shit. What was it about these people that made me open up like a freaking paperback in a wind storm?
"Really?" Bella asked.
"Yeah well, I don't like to talk about it, still not comfortable with people seeing them." I looked around nervously waiting for the subject to change.
"So then," Rachel always seemed to know when the conversation needed averted. "You and Embry are together huh? Have to be honest we weren't really keen on Bella inviting you over after what happened the other day."
"So you all knew? That's what the cold shoulder was? Because I was so mean to Embry?"
"No." "Of Course Not." "Don't Be Silly." They all said too quickly for me.
"Yes it was, don't lie to the poor thing." I looked up to see a tall muscular woman smiling down at me.
"Leah, why do you have to be so…so…you," Bella practically yelled coming to my defense. Emily was glaring at her. What was the deal, she was just being honest. This Leah person just rolled her eyes and sat down beside me.
"Leah by the way," she said extending her hand to me, "And we've all heard about Denise and Embry Episodes one and two. So I must have missed episode three, went much more amicably I assume since you're sitting here and Embry's watching me waiting to come rip me to shreds if I'm mean to you."
I just laughed and leaned around her to see that Embry was in fact watching her glaring. I smiled and turned back to the girl who seemed very much young like I was, physically she looked about twenty five but she seemed have that same youthful quality that Embry and Quil did. Perhaps we'd have a lot in common. While I look at Bella like an older sister, it'd be nice to have a partner in crime.
"I like you Leah," I said still laughing and everyone else looked at me in shock. "But yes, I pulled my head out of my ass." I winked at Embry who was still watching us and he blushed and looked away.
As the evening wore on I met a few more young people as they came and went from Bella's party. I met Brady who I thought Might be Collin's twin but was corrected. They both had beautiful girls attached to their hips and looked like they were in love. I also met Seth, Leah's brother, Bella's step brother, who spent most of his time taking care of Kim and Jared's little girl Ella, which I thought was odd but who am I to judge. Maybe he was her god father or something.
Everything was going really well. I felt like I belonged, like everything might work out. I hadn't had one flashback while I was with them. It was nice to feel normal again.
"I feel very safe with you Embry," I said when we were alone on the deck watching everyone mingle out in the yard with each other.
"I'm glad baby, but there's nothing to be afraid of. You're perfectly safe." I stiffened in his arms. Images of him flashed through my head. If only Embry knew what kind of monsters were out there.
"Denise, what's wrong?" his voice full of concern.
"Huh? Oh, nothing, let's go sit down with everyone."
I was sitting between Bella and Embry, these two who opened their hearts to me without second thought. They were all I had now, I had Andy of course, but these two let me into their lives and I was forever grateful for them. Sam, who is Emily's husband, came and sat so he was facing me. I don't know if I can properly describe Sam, while Paul was intimidating in a scary way, Sam was intimidating in a fatherly, protector kind of way. And I could tell in his eyes he didn't trust me.
"So Denise, you're from Seattle?" I looked around at the people who were still there now listening to our conversation. People who loved and were loved by the only two people I had in my life, and I lied to them. Bold face, guilt ridden lies, no wonder Andy warned me about getting close.
"Y…yeah, Seattle. Lived there my whole life." I stuttered unable to look anyone in the eye. I was so transparent and these people were very perceptive. I was failing.
"You're Native American?" I snapped out of it and looked back at Sam.
"Um, yeah I guess. I don't really know, being adopted and all. They told me my birth mother was from the Hopi Tribe and lived in Arizona."
Flashback
"But mom this is stupid, why do we have to go every summer?" I was twelve and this would be the third summer in a row. I wanted to spend my vacation at the pool with my friends, not in hot as hell Arizona with people I had nothing in common with.
"Honey," I could see the disappointment in her face and I cringed, I hated making my parents sad.
"Please, for me, it's important to me that you learn your heritage."
"Fine, but I won't like it." But I did, I loved it, and I went back every summer until I was seventeen.
End Flashback
I felt a tear drop and wiped it away, not only was I lying to these people but I was acting like my own mother and my heritage was nonexistent. I wanted to crawl away and die. Then I felt the only pair of arms that could make it better. There was something about their warmth that made me feel I could get through anything. I just had to keep reminding myself that by lying to them I was keeping them safe.
"Denise, baby, are you ok?" Embry, I leaned into him and opened my eyes. Oh my god, how embarrassing, I looked up to see most everyone had moved on in their conversations probably out of kindness. However, Sam and Jacob were watching me, what is with these two, Embry growled at them and they backed down turning away to talk to the others.
"Of course she's ok," Bella came to my rescue again. "Now, if you're done interrogating her Sam. Denise, have you ever played Corn Hole because I need a partner I can't let Rachel and Leah kick my ass again."
"Wait! Does that mean you are kicking me off your team?" Kim asked Bella with a fake pout.
I was dragged off to play the game. I didn't want to admit to them that corn hole was a game we played almost every night back home. Our sorority was number one. Bella and I were kicking Rachel and Leah's asses.
"Where did you learn to play like this?"
"College, it s an addiction at school, you should see me after a few beers." I laughed.
"But you haven't been in school for what at least two years?" FUCK! I cringed at my slip up, was I ever going to get this right?
I noticed that Sam and Jacob who had Embry and Quil hemmed up on the deck staring at us like they were listening. Sam turned to Embry and started lecturing him.
"What's that about?" I asked the girls pointing toward the house.
"Um, well, Sam likes to play big brother is all."
"He's yelling at him because of me isn't' he? Why don't they like me? The guys I mean." I knew why they shouldn't.
"It isn't that Denise," Bella always the one to make peace, "It's complicated. Embry has a lot of responsibility in the tribe and Sam being sort of like a retired leader still feels like he needs to watch out for everyone."
"And I make him nervous – I'm not blind guys."
"Hey, let's just play ok?" Rachel added trying to avert my attention.
I just nodded and went on playing but couldn't help notice that every once in a while one or all of the guys would look my way. None of them looked mad just concerned.
After our game of corn hole I joined Embry and Quil on the deck. Apparently Sam and Jacob were done yelling at them.
"Am I interrupting?" I asked timidly.
"Of course not." Embry said and Quil looked at us with a big grin. At least someone seemed happy for us. I guess I shouldn't be whining. Jacob and Sam were the only two who had treated me differently and they had every reason to.
"QUILY. QUIL where are you?" The loud shouting of a young girl caught me off guard. Quil's eyes lit up like the Fourth of July.
"Claire-bear!" And with that a young girl came running out of the house and jumped on his back. I was confused.
"I want you to meet someone," he said to the girl hidden behind his massive frame.
"Denise, this is Claire, my little squirt. Claire this is Denise, Embry's girlfriend."
She stepped around him and I froze. I couldn't function. I could barely focus on the conversation around me.
"Hi," she said eyeing me skeptically, I was scaring her. She looked to Embry for help. I involuntarily stepped forward and reached out to touch her face. Stroking her jaw line.
"Roxie," I whispered so soft I knew only I could hear it. But Quil and Embry both looked at me confused.
She had a small frame, long black hair; she looked about the same age. She had long, gangly skinny arms and legs of a teenager that hasn't quite grown into her body yet. She was just like her.
"Roxie." The tears were streaming down my face now. I couldn't contain the emotions that were coming out. Could I show my freak side anymore today?
"Um…miss, Denise, are you ok?" She was talking to me but I couldn't answer.
"Maybe it's time to take Denise home Embry," Sam's voice said from behind. Great!
The next thing I knew Embry was walking. I was recovering from my break down, I knew I owed him an explanation but he didn't press me for one. He understood me; I couldn't believe how quickly I came into this comfortable companionship with him. It felt like we'd been together for years.
Flashback
I was crying on my mom's lap. Bryan, my first real boyfriend had just broken up with me.
"This sucks; I'll never love anyone again."
"Oh honey, you're only sixteen, give it time."
"How will I know mom, when I find him I mean?"
"Well, with daddy I just knew. I felt safe with him, warm. He was like my best friend; everything was just comfortable like we had known each other for years."
"You think I'll find that ever?"
"Absolutely. And when you do, don't let anything stop you from being with him."
"Thanks mom, I love you."
"I love you too."
End Flashback
"Denise," Embry spoke up breaking the silence as we sat on my front porch swing.
"Hmm?"
"You know you can tell me anything right?" I wish I could.
"Um, yeah…"
"Well, I just want you to know that I'm not going to pressure you or anything but you can trust me with anything you want to tell me." I tensed and got up walking to the front porch railing leaning against it facing away from him.
"Embry, I know I'm not the best at pretending everything is normal and fine." I didn't turn to look at him I just continued.
"I know you know that I am closed off about some things. Just can you trust me enough to know that I would never hide anything from you that I thought would harm you or your family?" That's a lie. He could harm all of us.
I felt his strong arms around me and he placed a gentle kiss on my head. "Maybe in time, when you're comfortable with it, you'll tell me?" He asked and I had to give him some hope.
"I'm trying to come to terms with everything; I want to be able to tell you. Have you ever had something that you wanted to tell someone but couldn't, I mean not because you didn't know how to but because you physically couldn't?" I turned to face him now, "I want to share everything with you, I do, and it's not because I don't trust you, or because I don't love you but some things…I just can't."
"Ok, ok," he said squeezing me harder. "I'm not going to push you. And believe it or not, yeah, I know what you mean about not being able to say anything. We'll give it time okay?"
"Thank you."
We stood there in each other's arms for a long time. Someday maybe my nightmare would end and Embry could love me, the real me. Not that I wasn't me, my personality hadn't changed much, but I want him to know my past, my real past, my family. I want to tell him what happened four months ago and move on with him. I longed to her MY name on his lips.
Yeah maybe, maybe one day. If I could hold on that long, if I lived that long. This time I broke the silence with a question I'd wanted to ask since the day we met and I fell in love with him.
"Does this kind of freak you out? I'm a little freaked out here." I decided that since I had to keep one big secret from him I would try to be as honest as possible when it came to everything else.
He chuckled at me. "What? Me and you? Why would it freak me out?"
"Oh I don't know, maybe because we don't even know each other."
"Denise, I don't need to know your favorite color, or your favorite movie of all time to know how I feel about you. All that will come with time, but my heart already knows there is nothing you could do or tell me that would make me love you any less."
Love? He loves me? He said it. I know we felt it but can I say it back? I moved us back to the swing on the porch and he sat down while I sat in his lap curling up into him. He wasn't as tall or muscular as Jacob or Sam but he was still pretty damn big and I fit into him perfectly.
"Blue."
"What?"
"Blue is my favorite color." I said looking up at him, "and I think I fell in love with you the moment I looked into your eyes."
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