A/N thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this story! Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Chapter Seven: Black Widow
The waiting room was eerily quite as the five remaining Avengers sat in the chairs waiting for news on their resident archer. Steve had his cowl down and was gripping his shield with white knuckles, his head resting on top of his hands. Bruce had his knees pulled up to his chest, trying to contain his anger in fear that the "other guy" might make an unexpected appearance. Thor had Mjolnir hanging limply at his side with his cape discarded on the floor, Clint's blood covering the once pristine fabric. Tony was fiddling with a paper clip that he'd found on the floor in an effort to draw his mind away from his wounded friend. Natasha sat with her back to the wall staring intensely at the doors that lay between her and her partner, waiting for the doctor to come out and say he'll be just fine. That he'll be back to cracking jokes and teasing her in no time. She refuses to think about the other option. She will not let him die, if he dies she'll bring him back to life and kill him herself. She hears a door open and is about to ask how he is when she realizes that it's the wrong door. Pepper Potts is entering the room along with Jane Foster. The women stop short when they see the Avengers' broken state. Their eyes are red and puffy from tears, both of them had become fond of the archer. It only takes a moment for Tony and Thor to stand and make their way to the two girls. There's a few seconds of silence before Pepper's quiet voice asks the question weighing on everyone's minds.
"How is he?" Tony opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. It's at that exact moment that the doors swing open and a doctor comes cautiously down the hallway. The S.H.I.E.L.D employee takes one look at the Avengers and nods. Natasha is at his side in a flash and immediately asks about her partner's condition.
"Barton had a significant amount of damage from the explosion. Luckily he had fallen far enough when the building exploded that it wasn't fatal, barely. He has multiple lacerations on his hands and a second degree burn on his right palm. Six of his ribs are broken, one of which nearly punctured his left lung. There are two puncture wounds caused by arrows in his right thigh and abdomen which caused internal bleeding and barely missed an artery. He a mild concussion caused by a wound on the back of his head along with blood loss. His right ankle is fractured and his knee is sprained. The ring and middle fingers on his left hand are broken and he strained most of the muscles in his shoulder. We did all we could but it's out of our hands now. He'll either wake up or he won't." He's met with silence as the Avengers try to process all the information they'd just been given. Natasha is the first to speak.
"Can we see him?"
"Yes. This way." He leads them down a series of hallways, Natasha memorized every turn, and they're soon standing outside Clint's hospital room. Natasha makes a move to open the door but hesitates. Steve puts a hand on her shoulder and she manages the smallest of smiles before pushing open the door and stepping inside. Her heart clenches when she sees her partner. The usually energetic archer looks lifeless and pale lying in the hospital bed. There is gauze covering his hands and the back of his head. His bare chest is littered with bruises and thick bandages are wrapped around his stomach. There's a splint on two of his fingers along with his right ankle and his left arm is in a sling. The Avengers stand in shock wondering how they could've let this happen to their archer.
Natasha's POV (A/N sorry it didn't start off as her POV, but I really wanted to add that third person part. )
I slowly walk to Clint's bedside, the initial shock has worn off, and sit down in the chair next to him. My body is numb as I can do nothing but stare at the broken man in front of me. The others cautiously make their way to my side and gather around our friend. They're all stunned into silence. I look down. I've never seen him look so vulnerable, so small. Sure I've seen him injured plenty of times, but today it's different. This wasn't some bad guy who got off a lucky shot or an accident during a mission, this was something none of could control. None of us could stop it. No one speaks this out loud of course, we all just stay rooted to the ground unsure of what to do. We remain this way for what seems like forever and by the time I actually look at the clock, it's two a.m. No one has moved since we first came into the room and I can tell that they're getting restless.
Bruce is the first to leave, mumbling something about letting off steam before he turns into a giant green rage monster. He's followed soon after by Tony and Thor, neither saying a word. Steve is the last to exit. He takes a step towards the door before turning to me.
"He'll be fine Natasha." With that he turns around and walks out into the hallway. I'm left alone in the dark room with my partner. With everyone gone I feel comfortable enough to reach out and grab his hand, carefully not to aggravate his injuries. I take a shuddering breath and reach out to wipe a speck of dirt off his face. He looks peaceful despite all of his wounds. I move to brush a piece of fiery red hair out of my face and I see that my hand's shaking. A sigh escapes me and I ball my hand into a fist, trying to stop the shaking. My efforts only make it worse and soon my whole body is trembling. I stand from the chair fully intending on going to the bathroom and pulling myself together, but my legs buckle and I sink to my knees. My arms wrap around my midsection and I stare down at the floor.
"Get it together Romanoff. You are not a child." I whisper harshly to myself. The words only succeed in making me feel weaker and I let out a frustrated sigh. I lift my trembling self to my feet and shakily walk back to Barton's side. With a cry I drop down into the chair and bang my fist down on the dresser in anger. "Why did you do this?! Why did you make me care about you and then go pull that hero crap?!" I jump to my feet and run a hand through my hair. My hands ball into fists and I grab my head in my hands. Without realizing it my fists goes flying towards the wall, it's hits it hard enough to hurt but not hard enough to break anything. A frustrated sob escapes me and I squeeze my eyes shut. "No Natasha. You will not cry over this!" But my command dies in my throat as a tear slides down my cheek. The liquid feels foreign against my skin from the years I've spent avoiding emotion. I fall back down into the chair and grab my partner's hand. Another sob escapes me and I lay my head down next to him on the bed. It's then that I realize that I can't lose the man next to me. "Why couldn't you just of gone with Tony? Why couldn't you just come back?" I whisper weakly. "Why couldn't I save you? It should've been me. I never should've let you go alone." The tears are streaming down my cheeks. "Don't leave me, Clint. Please, you're all I've got left. Don't leave me alone." I stay this way with my head on his bed for a long time, waiting for him to wake up. His eyes never open no matter how much I want them to.
The Black Widow never cries.
She didn't cry in the Red Room.
She didn't cry after the graduation ceremony.
She didn't shed a tear when she was tortured during that mission in Morocco.
She didn't cry in Budapest.
She didn't cry when Barton was compromised.
She didn't cry when she fought Clint when he was under Loki's control.
She didn't weep when they lost Coulson.
She didn't cry after the battle of New York.
She didn't cry when she realized she was a broken woman.
She didn't sob on the way to the hospital.
She didn't cry in the waiting room.
The Black Widow doesn't cry but ,now, sitting by her partner's bedside with only the sound of his heart monitor echoing through the empty room, Natasha Romanoff cries. She cries because she couldn't save him. She cries because he wouldn't let her try to. She sobs because she still owes him a debt. She cries because there's still red in her ledger. She cries because he's the one who saved her from herself. She weeps because she misses his smile. She cries because she may never see his smile again. She cries because her partner is the only person in this world that she trusts with everything. She cries because Clint Barton is the first one to treat her like she was human. She lets her tears fall because he is the only one who got past the walls she built around herself. She cries because Hawkeye is the one person who can keep her grounded. She cries because she needs him. Yes the Black Widow never cries, but today she is Natasha Romanoff. A normal woman who holds the world on her shoulders. A normal woman who can only take so much. A woman who is moments away from breaking. All because an ex-carney named Clint Barton wiggled his way into her heart.
A/N well that's chapter seven! Sorry if it's a little short. The next chapter will show what all the other Avengers did when they left the room and what they do to cope with their current situation
