It seemed to Vin that the few hours it took Nathan and Rain to patch him up went by in a shrill of pain, humiliation, and prayer. Finally shedding his clothes for the inexact safety of an exam gown was bad enough, even done in relative privacy behind a hospital screen, and Rain kept up a consistent line of communication - what they were going to do, why it needed to be done, it wouldn't hurt, let them know if it did hurt - but the nakedness of his vulnerability went way beyond the literalness of exposed skin. He should've gone somewhere else, he told himself. Nathan and Rain were friends, but that just made it worse. Vin knew they'd never tell his secret, but he'd never be able to face them again, knowing that they knew, remembering all they had to do to him.

Sending his mind and soul to his safe place became impossible through the long moments of revelation and agony, x-rays, blood work, and IV. Vin gritted his teeth and held on, answering minimally, keeping his eyes shut. All that kept him from crying out and fighting against his doctors, his friends, was thinking that the faster they could work, the sooner it would be over, the sooner Chris would be there again - You okay? - unknowingly helping Vin keep his fractured being whole.

/*/*/*/*/*/*

Finally the blessed words from Nathan: "Okay Vin, we're done here. You just rest, we want to keep an eye on you for a little while, till the IV is done and we're sure you're out of the dehydration."

Vin nodded. Turned on his side, covered under two thermal blankets, his eyes were open, but he couldn't - wouldn't - look at Nathan. He kept his eyes firmly on the rail of the exam table pulled up to keep him safe. Nathan reached out to touch him, to reassure him, but after the prolonged, intimate contact of the exam and treatment, it was too much for Vin and he squirmed his shoulder to get away from it.

Nathan couldn't blame Vin, he was still in shock. They both were, in shock over what had happened to him. He doubted that Vin would ever let anyone touch him again.

"The call light is here Vin, right next to your hand. You buzz us if you need anything, OK?" Another vacant nod. "One of us will be back in a little while to check on you."

Nathan left the little room and shut the door behind him. Rain was another room, going over Vin's x-rays.

"How's he look?" he asked.

"Well, his nose isn't broken," Rain answered without taking her eyes off the dozen x-rays on the light panel in front of her. "Hairline fractures in two ribs, and a suspicious shadow on one of his vertebrae..."

"How did you guess what happened to him?" Nathan had to ask.

"I didn't 'guess' - remember I did my residency in New York City. If it was a crime, I saw the victim of it...do you think that looks like a fracture? Here..." she pointed to a vertebrae on the film in front of her.

"I can't believe you're taking it so calmly. That man's whole life has been destroyed."

Rain turned to look at Nathan like he'd suddenly renounced the Hippocratic Oath.

"Nathan, I know it's a terrible thing to survive, but he will survive. He has survived and now he must recuperate. It's not the end of the world."

*/*/*/*/*/*

Vin knew that his life was over. Laying on the exam table, all alone, he knew that everything that had been true about his life before was over and he'd have to start again, trying to build a new life with new truths and new expectations. He could forget about ever having a wife and a family, forget about the friends and relationships he had now. Everything was over. He was alone, and if he curled up and died right now, it wouldn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

Then the door to the exam room opened and Chris walked in.

"You okay?" He came right up to Vin. "I didn't think they were ever going to let me back in here."

The sudden relief that Chris was back, and in the same room, talking to him, and obviously concerned about him almost overwhelmed Vin. He coughed once or twice, to hide that he didn't trust his voice.

"Guess I'll live."

"They take care of you? Neither of 'em will tell me what's going on. Kept spouting 'confidentiality' at me."

"Yeah, they took care of me." Vin's mind recoiled at the thought of what that had entailed. "Said I was dehydrated from throwin' up, gotta wait for the IV to be done. They finally gave me painkillers for my back, took about a billion x-rays. Didn't think they were gonna run outta tests to do on me."

Life was a little less dismal with Chris nearby.

"Yeah, they did tell me you'd be here at least another hour. I called Mary, had her bump dinner back a couple hours...what else?"

"Nothin'." Did Chris have any idea?

"What about hitting your head? You got a concussion?"

"A little one they think...they stitched up the cut I got on my head hitting the mirror. They're looking at all my x-rays now, seeing what else I mighta busted up. They think maybe a coupla ribs."

Chris shook his head. "You got all this damage, just from falling in your bathroom?" His voice conveyed that he believed the story, that somehow only Vin could incur so much damage from something as slight as falling in a bathroom.

"Reckon I musta bounced," Vin offered.

"Yeah, I reckon...Nathan says you gotta rest awhile, it bother you if I sit in here with you and get some reading done?"

"Naah, that'd be fine..." At least one prayer answered. It gave Vin the impetus to ask: "What's up at school anyway? You didn't say in your message."

Chris was turned around, pulling the chair into a good spot when Vin said that. He turned back.

"You got that message?"

"Yeah...that's why I was coming to your house...'cause you said you needed help..." Sort of a lie, not one hundred percent.

"You nearly kill yourself and you drove all the way to my house because I asked you to?" This too Chris believed, but it dismayed him.

"You said you needed help." Vin's voice was soft and earnest. He dropped his eyes and poked a little bit around the IV plug in the back of his hand. "Didn't figure I was this bad off..."

"Well..." Chris left the chair alone and came back to Vin. "Lucas James was arrested yesterday morning."

"Another prayer answered," Vin said.

"What?"

"Nothing - what'd they get him for?" It felt weird, but somehow comforting, to be talking about normal things with Chris.

"DUI, heroin or cocaine, something. Ezra was telling me -"

"Which means you weren't exactly paying attention," Vin said. He thought it must be the pain killers finally kicking that was making him relaxed enough to joke.

Chris shook his head. "I tell you, I paid pretty damn close attention once Ezra told me I'm supposed to run my department AND environmental services, till the Board figures out how to handle this."

"I bet - they wouldn't mind dumping Lucas, just can't stand to lose his Uncle's money..."

Chris looked him over before answering.

"You're tired Vin...you should rest. We can talk about it later."

He patted Vin's shoulder lightly, and Vin steeled himself not to flinch. But it wasn't as bad as Nathan or Rain touching him. The feel of Chris' hand briefly, lightly touching him through the thermal blankets didn't make him cringe inside and wish he was anywhere else.

"Okay," Vin agreed.

Chris brought his briefcase in from the hallway and shut the door. He sat in the chair near the exam table and pulled out a binder of policies and procedures to go over. Vin shut his eyes and tried to put himself back on Rogers Rock, or Chris' deck, or anywhere that wasn't here. Even so, the part of his brain that still functioned reasonably well sifted through the problem at school.

"Should talk to Gloria," He said after awhile. "Mrs. Potter. She's in charge of Housekeeping. She was anyway, till Lucas took over. Turned her position pretty much into a glorified secretary. She does all the time cards and scheduling, for all three departments. She'd be an awful lotta help."

"Okay, I'll do that." Chris made a note to himself. He was glad that Vin felt well enough to talk. The way he'd been looking all day, Chris was surprised he was still conscious. They went back to resting and reading. A few minutes later, Chris'cell phone rang; he grabbed it out of his briefcase.

"Hello?"

"Chris! Is Vin with you?"

"Nettie? How'd you know where we are?" Chris saw Vin's eyes fly open at the mention of her name.

"I called Mary." Nettie sounded uncharacteristically upset. "I was expecting to hear from Vin today, and when I didn't - - well, I just - - is there with you? Mary said you took him to Nathan...is he all right? Can I talk to him?"

"Well, he's resting now Nettie, I'll see if he's up to a conversation..." Chris' eyes posed the question, and Vin took a while answering. Finally he nodded and his hand shook as he held it out for the phone.

The moment had come when Vin had to talk to Nettie. Explain where he'd been last night, and this morning, where he was now and why. More prayers were sent up as swift as they could go as he took a breath.

"Hi Nettie..."

"Honey, are you all right?"

"I'm okay, a little banged up. I fell..."

"Fell?" Nettie sounded clearly confused.

"Yeah, last night, when I was takin' a shower. I fell gettin' outta the tub, don't know how." Vin didn't know if he should be pleased or not that the lie was coming out so smoothly. "Cracked my head something fierce on the mirror. Bleedin' like crazy all over the place."

"You should've called me, honey." But her voice still carried a trace of that confusion. "I thought maybe you got called into work last night, but when I still didn't hear from you by this afternoon, I didn't know what to think. Maria's mother told me she hadn't seen you - -"

"You didn't go into my apartment, did you?" Vin all but demanded. There came an icy silence on the other end of the phone before Nettie answered stiffly.

"No. I didn't go into your apartment."

Vin regretted his tone. "I'm sorry Nettie - - I didn't mean anything. I just been havin' problems with the lock on the front door. Don't catch if you don't shut it just right. Sometimes."

"No, honey, it's all right. I was just worried about you." The confusion was gone. Now her voice carried only concern. "I didn't mean to upset you...will you be coming home after Nathan's?"

"Don't know. Might...," he hesitated to say it, because they hadn't talked about it. "...might go to Chris' for the night...not too steady on my feet just yet." Vin was relieved when Chris looked up from his binder long enough to nod his agreement with that idea.

"All right, honey. I'll let you go then. You call me from Chris's if you need anything. Let me know how you're doing."

"I will Nettie." Vin breathed in relief that Nettie had bought the lie so easily. They said goodbye and Vin handed the phone back.

*/*/*/*/*

Nettie hung up the phone and looked around the little apartment. Vin was never the world's best housekeeper, but this was beyond even his clutter. Books pushed off shelves, mail torn open and scattered, CD's jumbled and laying loose on the floor.

And that mess in the bathroom.

She took one more look in there, kicking the towel back over the blood where she'd pulled it up like sticky tape, and pushing the wastepaper basket and its mute evidence back into place. Vin was lying to her and she figured she knew why. He was safe as long as he was with Larabee, and she could keep tabs on him.

With one more look around, Nettie left Vin's apartment and went back to her home.