A/N: You're getting it a day early. I just couldn't wait!

Chapter 6

EPOV

On the evening that Anthony left, Sarah was having an especially difficult time falling asleep. In a stroke of astounding luck, Jacob volunteered to handle her, which afforded me with an unusual free hour of quiet reflection once Billy had gone to bed. Sarah didn't get to see her big brother that much, and he always rough-housed with her and brought her out of her shell a little. Anthony never tiptoed around the disability. If Sarah started to get stimmy or distant, he just had an innate way of bringing her back to the present with that big goofy grin of his. Just like his father's. Sarah was probably sad to see Anthony leave.

Hell, I was sad too. Anthony was my first baby—the miracle baby. He was probably the most doted on kid ever to exist. We showered him with affection, bought him everything under the sun, and he was always with one of us. We never wanted to let him go. But soon, he hit puberty, and he began to see Leah in a new light. And there he went. He was ready to move on from his parents.

It hurt more than I liked to admit. I was of two minds about it; while I was happy that my son had found love and was going to start a life of his own that I helped raise him for, I just missed him. I was intensely proud of what a good husband, student—and now, father—he was. Mira was a lovely little girl, and although I felt uneasy about Embry's imprint on her, I had to keep reminding myself that Leah and Anthony were hard to get used to when he was still a boy. Now that he was a man, it was obvious they were made for each other. I hoped it would be the same for Mira and Embry, that she would want him too in time.

Leah, Leah. So embarrassing, what I did. I couldn't believe I told her all that shit about Jake. Fuck, did I cry? Shit.

While I knew she didn't say a word to Anthony while they were still here, I had no illusions that she wouldn't recount everything to her husband now that they were on the plane home. I only hoped she would edit out the part where I cried on her shoulder; my son didn't need to know that.

Eventually Jacob emerged from Sarah's bedroom and found me sitting silently in the dark on the couch, thinking about all of that. Shockingly, he didn't head to the computer, but sat down beside me. He gave me a sympathetic look. He smelled like he hadn't showered in a couple of days. I loved when he smelled like that. Jake put an arm around me, giving my shoulder a squeeze. I instinctively leaned into his touch and he wrapped both arms around me, hugging me close to him.

"Are you sad he's gone?" His voice was low and sullen.

I nodded into his shirt. "Of course."

"Me too."

We sat quietly for a while, Jacob with one arm around my shoulders and me leaning against him. After a time, there was a change in the atmosphere, and I started to feel a twinge of arousal. The arm that wasn't around me drifted down to my lap where he started stroking my thigh. He began at the top and slowly worked his way inward as he ran his nose up my neck and buried it in the hair behind my ear, scenting me. It was hot, don't get me wrong, but I wasn't really in the mood.

His hand moved higher suddenly and I gasped in surprise as he grazed his fingers over my latent cock. It twitched in reaction and started filling up. I felt him smile into my hair as he stroked my cock to a stand.

"Remember how we made that little boy?" he whispered into my hair.

My mind battled itself with the memory of how we used to be sexually and the reality of how we were now. He wanted it to be sweet and gentle...he wanted to make love to me; I could tell by the way he was touching me. The conversation with Leah was still fresh in my mind, and I was angry at him for the things he'd done. But I still wanted him, damn it. I would fuck him tonight, but I wanted to make him work for it.

I turned my head away from his lingering lips as he continued to stroke me. "Not now." My voice came out breathy. "Billy might wake up any minute."

"Yes, now." Jacob leaned in and nuzzled his stubbly cheek against my smooth one. I returned his wolf kiss, and then he buried his face back in my neck, gripping my rock solid cock, the smell of his own arousal growing thicker. I gasped at the sudden surge of lust and felt myself giving in without much of a fight. Jacob moved so his face was aligned with mine, though we were both watching my cock fuck his fist.

"If baby wakes up, baby can wait," he murmured before capturing my lips with his.

As his tongue slid against mine, I forgot everything that was bothering me and just went with it. Sex had healing power, and it was particularly potent for us. I was confident that a good night in bed might be just the thing we needed to be better. And I wanted that.

Jake broke the kiss and his lips traveled down my neck to my collarbone, then back up again, randomly nipping and sucking as his fist pumped me harder, faster. I let out this strangled little mewl, "OooOooo," and he groaned deeply.

"Fuck Edward, you're so hot—" He swiftly unbuttoned the rest of my half-closed shirt and spread the fabric so he could sweep his free hand over my bare torso. "—it hurts me."

I moaned and opened my eyes, looking down at Jacob's lap. His loose gym shorts formed an obscene tent around his stiff cock and a damp patch had seeped into the fabric at the tip. That, and the fact I hadn't had his hand around my cock in ages, brought me right to the edge. I hissed and moaned as I watched the glistening, bulging, pink head emerge and disappear into Jake's tan fist a few more times before my toes curled and my back arched, my orgasm tearing through me.

My cum spurted onto my exposed body—a little on the shirt—and Jake kept on pumping me until I had nothing left to give. As I came down, I felt his wet tongue swirl over my right pec and down my abs, licking up what I'd left there. I shuddered at the feeling, and then I was lying on my back on the couch, and Jacob was standing at the end of the couch by my feet, quickly shedding his tank and shorts. His thick, long cock stood up between his legs, pointing at me. I moaned at the sight of him, making him grin. He reached down and grabbed my legs, pulling me toward him as I squealed with surprised laughter.

He laughed with me, hooking his arms under my legs so the backs of my knees rested in the crooks of his elbows. He positioned me until my ass rested up on the arm of the couch and held my legs spread. His eyes feasted on my body, but a sharp wave of embarrassment crashed over me. It had been a long time since I'd been on display like this and I felt insecure. My body wasn't quite the same as it used to be before having three kids. For one thing, I was softer. My abs weren't as defined, and I was warmer to the touch. The meeting of fire and ice was gone. The contrast of temperature was still there of course, as Jacob would always be above average, but it wasn't as sharp as it was in the beginning. And I knew that was one of the things Jacob loved most. I did too.

Jacob actually seemed to realize what I was feeling as he gazed down at me laid bare before him. His stare and his cock told me he was more than aroused by me, but I needed reassurance. Perhaps foolishly, but I needed him to tell me.

"Fuck, Edward, you're so hot. I need you." He let go of one knee and sucked a finger into his mouth, then pressed against my exposed opening with his saliva-coated fingertip. "I need to be inside you. Tell me you want me to."

I met his lusty, heavy-lidded gaze. "I want you to."

He smiled and drew his lower lip between his perfect white teeth as his free hand ghosted down my body, lighting my flesh on fire with his heat. He prepared me quickly with the other hand—the kids could wake up any moment. I welcomed the burning sensation as my body stretched to accommodate his thick fingers. Thank goodness they were thick because his cock was too. It was normal length-wise, but it was really fat and a fucking tight squeeze. Of course I never realized this while I was still the old me. Now that I was more human though, I felt the pain of his entry a lot more. A few tough moments were totally worth how good it was to be filled and fucked by him though. There was nothing like it on earth.

He pressed slowly inside, trying not to hurt me. The head was always the worst and I fought against myself to relax and let him in. When he was inside me to the hilt, he paused, waiting for me to tell him I was ready. It was an overwhelming feeling to be filled by him. I could feel him everywhere inside me, and pictured myself speared on his cock like a pig on a spit. The image made me want more; I needed him to move, to feel him thrusting into me. So I made the first move, nudging his hips with mine. He groaned and pulled out almost all the way before sinking all the way back in, first slowly, then faster and faster until he was ramming into me, grazing just the right spot nearly every time. I felt crazy, breathless, insane with lust.

"Oh god, Jacob." I gasped. "I missed you."

The second it was out there, I regretted saying it. After all I'd been dealing with, I felt too exposed with my emotions on the line like that. What if he didn't say it back? But Jacob didn't notice my brief mental freak-out, and he smiled, his lips hovering over mine. "I miss you too."

Relieved, I let it go and reveled in the moment, just feeling and reacting to his lips, his hands, his cock which was relentlessly massaging my sweet spot. My vision got blurry and I felt my release tensing up like a guitar string about to snap.

"Oh god, I'm gonna cum."

"Fuck. Yes. Cum for me."

He wrapped his calloused palm around my straining dick. One strong pull was the end of me and my clenching passage brought Jacob with me. He howled out his release, resting his sweaty forehead against my heaving chest. As we caught our breath, I relished the feel of his hot seed deep inside me. Jacob's most recent heat ended two months before, so it was prime time for unprotected sex; we still had several months before his hormones would be able to influence my body to become fertile again. With the marked lack of sex we'd been having, we were wasting the best sex times. I hated having to stop everything to roll on a condom.

Jacob interrupted my train of thought when he lifted himself off me and his wet tongue swept over my stomach cleaning my release from my skin again.

"Fuck, Jacob," I whispered.

"I fuckin' love you, Edward," he whispered back before he captured my lips with his.

~SOD~

The next few days went smoothly as they often did after sex. It made me wish we did it more often. On the third night I had every intention of coming on to him, but when he came home from work, he was in as rank a mood as ever. My heart sank with disappointment. I had hoped the happier Jake would last more than three days. But he was back to his old worries full force, drowning in sorrow about his loneliness about his father and ties to the tribe. As he spoke about it for the umpteenth time, my mind drifted. I didn't know what to do to help him. Jacob didn't want my advice; he made that clear on numerous occasions. But I couldn't stop myself from wanting to give advice when he confided in me, because I wanted to fix things and make everything better for him. All because I loved him and I wanted him to be happy, like he used to be before all this recent bullshit. I missed us.

"Hello? Are you even listening?"

Shit. "Uhh, I tried." What? Did I really say that?

"Well, you didn't try hard enough." He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, turning on his heel and stalking away.

I didn't try to stop him. He was right to be upset. It was rather rude of me to drift off while he was talking about things that affected his heart so deeply. But there was nothing more I could do for him. Well, there was one more thing, I was just nervous to bring it up. But at this point, these black moods had gone on long enough. I had to pull out all the stops, for all of our sake's. So, I followed him into the kitchen, deciding to suggest my latest idea to him, probably against my better judgment. I knew what I had to say wasn't going to go over well in his current state of mind.

He was likely going to chew me out, but we were usually so tense with each other every day that it hardly mattered to me if he got madder with my suggestion. His reaction would be no worse than the usual silence and pent-up anger he usually displayed toward me.

"Baby?"

"What."

"You need to talk about what's bothering you. I get that. But you also need help coping with these feelings. You don't want my help, and you won't go to an anonymous group. Maybe you need an objective one-on-one. Have you thought about seeing a psychiatrist?"

I bit my lip and held my breath as I waited for him to speak. His eyes narrowed a bit at first, but then he smirked, arms still crossed in front of him.

"I don't trust psychs. They just look at this pathetic guy on the couch in their office and see dollar signs. They'd be bored to death with my complaining, wishing I was a more interesting psychotic."

I looked down, preparing my argument mentally before looking back up at him.

"I admit that it is a possibility, but it is also possible that you'll find someone who holds the key to helping you cope with your emotions. Come to terms with things."

"I'll get over it, I just need time."

"No, Jake, you need more."

"Look what those fuckers did to Alice!"

"Jake, that was in the 1920s—"

He steamrolled over me. "You want them to put me in the loony bin? Then you can tell everyone, 'Oh, my husband went nuts, they locked him away. Wanna fuck me?'"

It wasn't the first time he'd said something like that; it was as if he thought I was just itching to sleep with other men.

"What? Jacob, you're being crazy right now."

Wrong thing to say.

"See? You want me committed. Then you'll be free."

"Oh, Jacob. You know that's not what I mean."

"Do I?"

His face was a stony mask. He was definitely not going to do it. He just stared at me like I was the crazy one to think he'd agree to go to a psychiatrist. But I had to ask. It was the last thing I could think of that might help us.

I felt kind of pathetic, but I tried again. "Please, Jacob. Do it for me. Just try it once?"

He didn't budge. "I'm not doing it, Edward. Give it up."

"Fine!" I hissed, slamming the table with my hand. "God! You're such an asshole."

"I'm an asshole? Fuck off, Edward! What do you think you are? You know I hate psychiatrists—why would you even say that to me…"

I didn't hear the rest of what he said after I shut the door behind me. I needed to drive for a while and calm down.

A/N: It seemed like things might get better for a minute there, didn't it? No such luck though. A lot of people want to see Jacob's POV, so it will be done! The outtake is with my betas now, and will be posted after Chapter 8, as a few more things need to happen before we can hear from Jacob.