(In case if anybody gets confused, this review session is actually present in the original visual novel. I decided to do these as an homage to the original, staying close to the original style as possible. Hope you get a few laughs from these)

All Cast Review Session

Rena: Thank you for reading Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kan: Keiyodoshi-hen! We sincerely hoped you enjoyed it!

Satoko: [Furious] I hated it!

Rena: Huh? What do you mean, Satoko-chan?

Satoko: I died again! 165 pages and over 45,000 words for the same garbage!

Rena: [Depressed] I didn't think it was bad at all…

Satoko: Yeah, well you got to live! It was awful! Rika and I died again and nothing was solved!

Hanyuu: At least I got to show up a couple of times! [Giggles happily]

Rika: …I'm happy for you!

Rena: These are the question arcs, Satoko! You can't expect for them to answer everything so soon!

Satoko: But I wanna know what the hell is going on! I wanna know why we aren't happy like we should be!

Rika: Maybe something is stopping us from getting our happy ending.

Rena: It's like Mii-chan said before, we have to overcome our inner demons to get the good ending!

Satoko: I suppose…but what demons do I have? I'm pure as the white snow!

Mion: So you think! Everybody has something that they hide, Satoko!

Satoko: Well, well! If it isn't the murderer herself!

Mion: Haha! Yeah, I was surprised I'd be the bad guy in this arc! That's never happened before! You all better have enjoyed it! It was fun being the bad guy for once…but it was really creepy!

Rena: You killed everyone for Keiichi, kind of like I did in the previous arc!

Mion: Yeah, but there's something else below the surface! I just can't put my finger on it!

Rena: Oh! Before I forget! Let's welcome the newest character to the story: Hanzaemon Takuma!

Hanzaemon: [Enters from behind a curtain] Hey all! How'd I do for my first story?

Rena: You were great!

Satoko: I agree! I hate new comers to stories like these, but I kind of like you! After all, you gave me candy and money! Oh ho ho ho ho!

Hanzaemon: [Scratches his head sheepishly] Yeah…that's what I'm good for I guess…

Akasaka: [Enters as well] I'm kind of disappointed I wasn't involved that much in this one, but I still had fun!

Hanzaemon: There's no pleasing you, huh, Sempai?

Akasaka: Haha, I guess not!

Rena: Akasaka-san! Welcome! You're just in time to discuss the story with us!

Mion: Alright! Everybody be quiet! Now, who wants to discuss the story first?

Satoko: [Raises hand] I want to!

Mion: Again? Wow, you must really hate these things!

Satoko: I'm just so confused! First off: Mion is a real whackjob this time! She never acted so crazy like that before!

Mion: I guess that fight we had really set me off! [Laughs wryly]

Satoko: But I don't get it! You're a nice person! Why would you suddenly go crazy like that? It doesn't make any sense!

Rena: I think Mii-chan felt like I did in the last story. She wanted to be with Keiichi-kun so much that she'd do anything, even kill to have him.

Satoko: I don't know…

Mion: I agree with that somewhat, but I feel like something else pushed me over the edge to make me commit those crimes. I bet it was Shion!

[Furrows her brow]

It's always her fault! And wasn't she supposed to go crazy? I was expecting her to lose it like she did with Kei-chan when they went on that date! I thought the story was going to revolve around him replacing Satoshi!

Rena: You were surprised! Just like me! That switch near the end when you were in Keiichi-kun's house really fooled me!

Satoko: That was a pretty cool twist, I have to admit!

Rena: What do you think about it all, Akasaka-san?

Akasaka: Well…um…it's obvious that Mion was pushed over the edge, but I'm not sure as to what caused it. Shion and Satoko-chan's relationship with Keiichi are the foundation, along with the fight, which goes without saying, but I feel that there is something lying in the darkness. I think something is pulling the strings behind Mion's actions.

Rena: [Afraid] You think something is controlling her?

Akasaka: That may very well be the case.

Hanzaemon: I think it was that curse that you folks have been talking about since the original eight arcs. What was it again? Oyashiro-sama's curse or something?

Mion: [Surprised] You really think it's a curse this time? I figured a cop like you would dismiss that notion right off the bat!

Hanzaemon: Haha, well you have to keep your mind and eyes open to these kinds of stories! Think about it: Mion is a sweet girl. She doesn't have a bad bone in her body, but Oyashiro-sama's curse strikes her because of something she did. Maybe it has something to do with that fight she and Satoko-chan had.

Hanyuu: [Growing more and more furious with Hanzaemon] I DO NOT CURSE PEOPLE! I would never do that! That's so mean!

Rika: [Pats Hanyuu's head] …There, there!

Rena: I agree with Hanzaemon-san! It makes sense! Oyashiro-sama got angry with you two for fighting so he cursed you! He wanted you to pay for hurting each other!

Satoko: You think so?

Mion: Somehow I don't believe that…

Satoko: Okay! Next topic: my death was extremely suspicious! I was poisoned, and that pill bottle Keiichi-san and I bought for Rika was really Cyanide? But the police report said that they weren't sure if I died from the pill bottle! The bottle wasn't even opened either! That's just crazy!

Mion: That is pretty weird…

Rena: Who sold you those pills anyway?

Satoko: Keiichi-san and I got it from the Manager! …Wait…

Rena: The Manager! [Narrows her eyes] He's been very suspicious lately!

Mion: Yeah, you're right! In the last story, Kei-chan told him Rena was trying to kill him. Despite that, the Manager conveniently left that out in the police report! Now why would he do that?

Satoko: You're one to go blaming somebody else! You had someone or something kill me!

Mion: Gahaha! [Teases Satoko with a playfully evil laugh]

Rena: Why would he give Satoko-chan poison? He loves her and Rika-chan!

Satoko: He's a dead man when I get my hands on him! Because of him, I've died twice!

Akasaka: [Ponders] Dr. Irie…I wonder what he's up to?

Hanzaemon: That action was pretty weird, but who knows? Maybe Oyashiro-sama cursed him as well? Maybe he possessed him…

Hanyuu: [Steam blows out of her ears] I don't do anything bad!

Rika: [Sternly] Calm down, Hanyuu!

Hanyuu: But Rika!

Rika: [Holds up a habanero pepper]

Hanyuu: Au~au~…

Akasaka: It can't be a curse, Takuma. It was proven in the Masturibayashi that Takano Miyo was behind everything! She's the real curse here!

Hanzaemon: [Blinks] Who the hell is that?

Takano: Are you talking about little old me? Hehehe!

Mion: You again! How'd you get in this time?

Takano: The back door was open again! You really have to do something about that!

[Faces Hanzaemon]

I don't believe we've met before. What's your name?

Hanzaemon: [Frightened by the malicious aura around her] Um…er…

Mion: [Pushes Hanzaemon behind her] You leave him alone! He's still a newcomer! We don't need you bothering anybody!

Takano: You're no fun, Mion-chan! Hehe! So…what were you all talking about?

Satoko: Nothing that concerns you!

Takano: How very rude of you! I did ask nicely!

Rika: Just leave…now…

Hanyuu: [Draws two sword out of nowhere] I'll punish you if you try to do anything ever again!

Takano: Alright, fine. I know when I'm not wanted. But be warned, I might be returning sometime soon!

Rena: You said that the last time you were here but you never showed up…

Takano: Haha! You never know, Ryuugu-san! You never know…hahaha… [Leaves]

Hanzaemon: Man…is she always that creepy?

Satoko: You don't know the half of it!

Mion: Hey…I just noticed something…where's Kei-chan?

Rena: Isn't he working on the next story?

Mion: But…Shion's not here either!

Rena: [Gasp] Oh my…!

[A phone suddenly rings]

Mion: Hello?

Shion: Sis! How's it going?

Mion: Shion? What're you doing in the writing studio?

Shion: I'm working on the next story!

Mion: What do you mean you're wo…you gotta be kidding me!

Rena: What is it, Mii-chan?

Mion: If Shion's working on the next story…then that means…

Keiichi: [Walks in through the back] Hey everybody! You really need to do something about that back door! I just saw Takano go through there!

Mion: [Grabs Keiichi by the collar] Why aren't you working on the next story?

Keiichi: Huh? I-I-I'm tired! I need a break! I've been the main character twice now! I think somebody else needs a shot!

Mion: You mean to tell me you're not going to be the main character in the next story?

Keiichi: Uh…no, I won't be. I'll be a supporting character though!

Mion: Then who's going to be the main character?

Shion: Why, it's me! I get to play the lead role, Sis!

Mion: Son of a…!

Shion: Ahaha! It's going to be great! They'll be plenty of violence, mystery, and lots of suspense!

Rena: Is it enough to raise the age rating? I know this one was going to be rated M, but it didn't work it out in the end.

Shion: I'm not sure about the rating yet, I still have to talk it over with the boss! But I can assure you, you will not be disappointed!

[Hangs up]

Satoko: Another one? You're killing me here…again!

Rika: Haha!

Satoko: Ah great! Here we go again!

Akasaka: I look forward to the next entry! It should be a blast!

Mion: More mystery and excitement? I'm game!

Hanyuu: Let's do our best, everybody!

Rika: …Fufufu! This'll be interesting!

Hanzaemon: [Punches his palm] I'm ready to go!

Keiichi: Let's do it!

Rena: Please join us in our next episode, Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kan: Jimetsu-hen (The Self-Destruction Chapter)! We'll see you soon!


(Thank you all for reading! I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it! All of your comments keep me going and you've all given me some great ideas to throw around! I promise I'll keep the level of quality high! I love Higurashi to death and I would feel so dishonored if I bastardized the author's original works. I hope you all return for my upcoming arc...and the next one...and the next one...and the next one...and the nex-, you get the idea. Thanks for all of your support and I hope to see you all again! ^_^

~WOLFEDEN Stories)