She hated it when she did this. It was all a waste of time, but Haruka found herself in this situation whenever she was bored. One final click, and Haruka waited for the page to load. There it was. The result. The truth. Haruka stood up slowly and walked over to the kitchen.
"Michiru?" she called quietly.
"Yes?" Michiru asked, setting down the plate she was holding.
"I must tell you something," Haruka said. She took a few steps closer, until she was standing right in front of Michiru.
"This is not something that's easy to say," she continued. Michiru looked worried.
"What is it?"
"I… am not a lesbian," Haruka sighed. Michiru frowned.
"What are you talking about?"
"I am not a lesbian," Haruka repeated, more confidently this time.
"And why did you come to that realization now?" Michiru asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I took a quiz on the internet and it said that I'm not a lesbian," Haruka explained.
"Haruka, you shouldn't take those quizzes. The last time you took a quiz about which car you should drive and you got 'walking' as a result, you almost cried," Michiru sighed and wrapped her arms around Haruka's neck.
"Well I was bored and you wouldn't pay attention to me. I had to do something to pass time."
"I was making dinner," Michiru said and gestured at the oven.
"Hm. Well, while we wait for the dinner to be ready, you need to take the test too."
"Haruka, I-"
"No, you're taking it. Come on!" Haruka said and dragged Michiru to the living room. She sat in front of the computer. The screen still proclaimed how not-totally-at-all-a-lesbian Haruka was. She started the quiz again.
"" You're best friend's parents are away for a week. She calls you and asks if you want to come over. What's your response? (Your friend is lesbian)" Here are the options. Which one do you pick?" Haruka asked.
"This is ridiculous," Michiru said.
"Just do this. For me?" Haruka asked.
"Fine. Why not?"
"Great! So what's your answer?"
"I just said it. "Why not?"" Michiru said. Haruka moved onto the next question.
""You're at her house. She invites you to her bedroom, where she claims that she is really sweaty. She wants to know if you want to take a shower with her."" Haruka read.
"What kind of a quiz is this?" Michiru asked with a frown.
"Just answer it."
"Well, if she is just my friend, I guess I would politely tell her no."
"Question three: "You two are now in the shower together. She moves towards you. What's your response?" The options: a) "Smile flirtatiously but that's it", b) "Lick her anywhere", c) "Start making out furiously" or d) "Twerk on her"?" Haruka asked. Michiru couldn't hold back her laughter.
"This is just ridiculous! But if I had to pick one, I guess I would go with the first option. I know from experience that having sex or even kissing in the shower is not the most comfortable thing. Especially when the water gets into your eyes," Michiru said, giving Haruka a teasing look.
"Uh, yeah… Moving on! "You are out of the shower and dry. Both of you are still naked, and she leads you to her bed. What now?""
"Hm. I think that at this point I would want to get dressed and talk things through. It isn't wise to have sex with a friend without talking things through first, even if you just took a shower together. I'd want to make sure we're on the same page," Michiru explained.
"Well now you're just over-thinking these," Haruka sighed, ""Which part do you go for?""
"What do you mean 'which part'?"
"I guess it means which part you kiss."
"But I chose to get dressed."
"I know, but let's pretend you talked things through."
"Fine. Lips first, I guess."
"Lips it is. "Suddenly, your friend's iPhone rings. It's your other friend, who wants to know what you're doing. What do you tell her?""
"Let's see… I'm assuming this is a mutual friend. If we have just decided to become lovers or friends with benefits, I don't think I'd want to tell someone else within the next minute. I guess I wouldn't pick up."
""You three are all having sex now. Your best friend brings out a bag of sex toys. She pushes it into you and it hurts, but you can't do anything because your other friend put one in your mouth. It really hurts now, so what do you do?"" Haruka read, her cheeks turning slightly pink.
"What? How did she suddenly get there?"
"Just go with it."
"Well, at that point you're supposed to use the safe word," Michiru said.
"That's not an option."
"Then I would just say it hurts."
"All right. "A third friend drops by. You three are all naked, so what do you do?""
"Where are all these friends coming from?"
"I don't know. Probably some lesbian island or something."
"Hm. I think at that point I would ignore the knock. The other options don't sound that good. Sex is not that comfortable outdoors, it gets too cold. On the other hand, if we're already having sex, there is no point stopping."
"Wow. You're really thinking these through. "Your best friend's neighbors see you having sex. There's a girl and a boy and their both your age. What now?""
"This test makes no sense. It doesn't listen to my choices. Besides, I need to check on the dinner," Michiru said and stood up.
"There's only two questions left! Just answer, please!" Haruka said and pulled Michiru back down.
"Hmph. Fine. "Go inside." I am not giving a show to some stranger, and I am not having a boy join us."
"Okay, here's the last question: "Your parents are out of town.""
"That's not a question."
"I know. Here are the options: a) "Stay at your friend's house naked for a whole week", b) "Go home and be a loner", c) "Party!" or d) "Stay at your friend's house for a week of sex and lesbian activities"."
"At this point I would go home. Consent is important, and this quiz has not listened to my opinion at all. Besides, it's very obvious that this test was made by a straight man, I would not stay for his entertainment," Michiru sighed. Haruka clicked the button, and they waited for the results.
""You are NOT lesbian, you little liar! You might be bisexual or bicurious, but you would not do anything big with someone your gender." Hey, you got the same result as me!" Haruka said.
"Hmm… How about after dinner, we'll prove this quiz wrong?" Michiru whispered, leaning closer to Haruka.
"How would we do that?"
"I'm sure you can come up with something," Michiru said. She stood up and walked back to the kitchen. Haruka sighed, turning back to the computer.
"Hey, here's another one! "Horse quiz for beginners"."
"Haruka, no."
A/N: The quiz they take is (unfortunately?) real. You can take it here: /quiz32/quiz/1446332687/How-Les-Are-You-Scenario-Quiz
I hope you enjoyed my Fluffvember fics! (yes, the prompt for this was the same as for the smut, but this one was supposed to be humor)
