Alive

by: skyz

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em so don't sue.

A/N: I'm on a roll tonight. Here's another. This can be considered a companion piece to chapter three, Burn. The flip side of the coin. The prompts because there are two: alive, selfish. People do stupid and selfish things to get that feeling of being truly alive, sometimes even in the name of love.


7.

A baby girl.

He'd had a baby girl and a part of him that wasn't blissfully happy wailed in silent grief. They'd named her Olivia because that's what Linda wanted.

The traitorous thought of Sharpay lingered inside his mind. If it had been her he would have fought and argued until they were both red in the face. Fought until one of them won.

But Linda wasn't Sharpay.

Her teeth weren't so sharp nor her tongue as wicked. Linda was nice and gentle. She thought before she spoke, aware of the feelings of others. She'd never hurt a soul.

He wished he were that noble.

He wished that he were a better man.

The note Sharpay had mailed about the birth of her son had sent his world spinning. She never ceased to have an affect on him. He didn't like it. He didn't want it. He couldn't help it.

The numbness filled him a little more day by day.

Tristan Nathaniel Evans Bolton.

He was sure the boy would have a complex with a long name like that.

He hoped the boy had Sharpay's blonde hair and sarcastic tongue.

When a picture came a few months later with an invitation to the Christening he saw that he'd been wrong. Tristan had Troy's brown hair and his father's blue eyes. There was nothing of Sharpay in him and he'd wondered how she'd felt about that.

She loved to leave her stamp on every little thing. Why not her child?

A part of him had been glad by the lack of any discernible evidence of a physical relationship between mother and son.

He sometimes caught himself imagining Olivia with golden locks and a smug smile.

He told himself to move on.

He tried.

Linda loved him so very much.

It should have been enough.

It wasn't.

Months and years later and then there was a play date set.

How it happened or why was beyond him. He blamed Linda for agreeing and glared at Troy for suggesting it. They shouldn't be on friendly terms.

Linda had run into Troy at the store, she'd told him later. Hadn't they once been friends?

The fearsome duo, she'd teased. He'd snapped back at her too angry to play nice. Why had she done a stupid thing like that? His demand had been met with a wounded look.

He'd felt a fool as if he'd kicked a defenseless puppy. Hurriedly an apology had escaped his lips.

He loved Linda. He really did and he was blessed to have his daughter.

He was nervous as he arrived at his former best friend's house. Barely concentrating on Linda's voice as he pulled abreast of the large cream colored house.

The excited chattering of their daughter followed them up the walk.

His disappointment was sharp and sudden as Troy met them at the door with his trademark goofy grin. He led the way through the house talking, talking nonsense as far as Chad was concerned.

Where was she?

His eyes searched for her.

She'd laid claim to everything in the house. Her touch was all around him. Her scent overwhelmed him.

He fell behind and watched as they moved on without him.

He wandered through the house hearing Troy's voice calling out for him.

He knew she had to be here.

He found himself at the glass sliding doors that led onto the patio. He slid through the half opened door and found her standing there.

It had been years since he'd seen her.

But it was the same and he couldn't believe it. Didn't want to believe it. Couldn't believe that his life, the one he'd built, could so easily be swept aside.

One look at her and he knew that he'd settled.

He was walking towards her before he could stop himself.

She turned to him and he noticed she'd been staring down at a fire pit where the only remains were ashes.

"Sharpay..." Her name, her mere presence, had been the bane of his existence.

He kept a distance between them.

She'd broken him.

One tiny piece at a time.

"You said you'd wait forever..."

It took him a moment to understand that she'd spoken. The words felt like a slap to the face. He had told her that, but that had been a lie, he couldn't wait and watch forever.

She'd denied him at every turn.

"I lied," he told her sharply.

He gestured around them.

"How could I compete?" he asked bitterly.

"I wanted him," she said, voice blank.

Her eyes were anything but blank as they met his and he felt his whole body tense in response. His heart began to speed up.

"You got him... You got the world and to hell with me," he could feel himself re-awakening.

Angry bitterness seeped into him. Hoarded for years and aged to a fine sharp edged knife. He'd wield it just as skillfully as she'd wielded hers.

"I'm sorry if I...hurt you."

"You're never sorry," he denied her platitude. Feeling the faint stir of life inside him once again.

She closed the distance between them and he stood his ground.

"I...I didn't know," she told him sounding as confused and torn as he felt.

"Know what?" he asked harshly pushing himself to keep the anger. He needed the anger to keep him going. He didn't want this feeling to leave him again.

"That I would love you."

The breath left his lungs and he gasped.

Alive, he realized dimly, he felt it in the shaking of his hands, the pounding of his heart and the dizziness that threatened. He felt alive for the first time in years.

Two marriages, two children, two happy established lives.

Those words rent them to pieces.

"Ask me," she requested as if it weren't out of the ordinary. As if she hadn't blown his mind. "Ask me again."

He heard the faint call of his wife's voice through the partially opened patio door. Heard Troy's laugh float across the wind.

"Marry me..."

"Yes..."