We set up a small camp, Rikku and I went in search of fire wood while everyone else set up tents.
"I wonder what Yunie'll do, think she'll quit her pilgrimage?"
"That's what you want, right?"
"Well… if Yunie really wants to keep going, then… I guess I shouldn't stop her, you know? That's what I think anyway."
"I guess…" We were quiet for awhile. I could feel Rikku's sense of defeat, in giving up on stopping Yuna, she was letting her die, and I could feel her guilt as she gathered brush. As I was picking up a few dry old branches, she seemed to brighten up.
"Are you ready to tell me what the problem is now, Tidy?"
"Not yet," I said shyly.
"Okay, but I won't be this patient forever!" she said with a big smile, handing me another log. "That looks good, let's go back to the camp before those Bevelle soldiers find us."
"Good idea."
We slipped through a thicket of trees, passing right behind the guards, and back over to our campsite. It looked like Lulu and Wakka were going to share a tent. I thought I was going to be sick, but Lulu looked so happy, how could I argue with that? Wakka obviously didn't want me, I thought. It was time to let go, and stop crying. Lulu smiles at me as I walked up, a rare real smile that showed in her eyes.
"Yuna's off in the woods, Kimahri's with her but maybe you should go too?" I had a feeling that Lulu was trying to set me up. But then, she was only trying to help.
"Thanks Lulu."
I looked at Wakka for a long moment, I don't think that he noticed, but I was trying to say goodbye in my head.
"Maybe you should talk to her." Auron said softly.
"Alright already."
I found Kimahri by the lake; he stood silently, watching over her. Yuna was standing in front of a great Makalenia tree covered in stones, she was talking to herself.
"I always thought it would be easier some how, I thought that everyone would help me. With all of my friends by my side… I've been trying so hard."
I stepped into the water; it was cool, but not cold, and soothing. It reflected all of the lights of the stones and the spheremora crystals in the trees. It was beautiful in the moonlight, magic even, but the forest seemed sad, leaves falling into the lake like the trees were crying for Yuna.
"Maybe you're trying too hard."
"Oh!" She turned around, I think she was embarrassed, but I knew she was happy to see me. Yuna was always happy to see me.
"They told me… everything."
"Everything?" she said airily, I knew she would have made me forget if she could, unfortunately Summoners don't have that power.
"Everything." I repeated softly.
"Well… so, then you know." Her voice trembled like she was going to cry. After all her smiles, fake or not, I didn't want to see her like this.
"I'm sorry. It's just, you know… all those things I said, like 'Let's go defeat Sin' or about Zanarkand, and I didn't know… I didn't know what would happen to you Yuna. I guess I just hope it didn't make you Sad. Forgive me."
"I wasn't sad. I was happy." She said softly, staring into the refection in the water. I was so relieved that I hadn't upset her, but her response made me… uncomfortable. I swam around the lake trying to relax, and sort out what I was going to do. I was so sad, and… confused, she said I'd made her happy. That's all I really wanted, after giving up going home, to make someone; anyone happy. What more wrong could I do, I thought. What harm would there be in trying to convince Yuna to live.
"Yuna… just don't do it."
"The Pilgrimage?"
"Yeah, that's right. Forget all about Sin, and being a Summoner, forget all that. You know, live a normal life… come on Yuna, what do you say?"
"Maybe I will…" It seemed too good to be true, but I had to hope, at least for a little while, that we could all be okay.
"Wouldn't everyone be surprised…?"
"Except Rikku, she'd be with you. Lulu and Wakka wouldn't hold out long."
"Kimahri would say yes too, I know, but Sir Auron…"
"I'd make him understand Yuna, it's the least I can do for you."
"No. I should tell him, he deserves it."
I couldn't believe that she'd really said she would give up her Pilgrimage, but 'this is it' I kept thinking. 'We all get to live in peace.' Yuna swam out over the depths of the lake and just looked up at the moon floating on her back.
"What'll I do if I give up my Pilgrimage?"
"Hey! Zanarkand! Let's go to Zanarkand! Not the one in Spira, my Zanarkand, Yeah! We can all fly there, everyone can go. Then we'd have a big party at my place!"
"And we could see Blitz ball, your Zanarkand Abes would play?"
"Mhmm"
"We could all watch you play, in the stadium, all lit up at night. I'd cheer and I'd cheer until I couldn't cheer anymore."
"Yeah, right on!"
"Well, what about after the game?"
"After the game? …then we'd go out and have fun."
"In the middle of the night?"
"Yeah, no problem! Zanarkand never sleeps. Let's go to the sea, before the sun rises the city lights all go out one by one, then the stars fade and the sea turns red. It's kind of rose colored, right? First in the sea, then it spreads to the sky, then the whole city. It gets brighter and brighter, till everything glows. It's really… pretty." It was then that I knew, I was just kidding myself. "I know you'd like it."
"I would love to see it, some day."
"You can Yuna, we can both go." I could see her tears trickling into the lake; I thought that I had hurt her. I knew that Yuna loved me, ever since she asked me to be her guardian. I didn't want to make her cry. I just wanted to bring some real happiness into her life, even if it was only right before the end. "Yuna…"
"I can't… I just can't. I can't go!" She just burst into tears, and I couldn't stop it. I didn't want her to hurt anymore, and honestly, I wanted to feel loved too. I wished more than anything that the seven of us all could have gone to Zanarkand and left Spira, Sin and Yevon behind.
"Yuna." I touched her arm gently and tilted her head up so that I could look her in the eyes. It was so loving, and innocent, the way that she looked at me. I couldn't resist kissing her. She was so soft and gentle, I could feel the way she felt for me in her touch. We soothed into slow, sweet kisses, and I pulled her into the lake. The lake was so beautiful in the moonlight, and Yuna was so sweet, she held my hands tightly and smiled, the first real smiles I had ever seen on her face. I wanted Yuna to smile more. We kissed and she held me so tightly, we floated blissfully in the water until our air ran out and we emerged on the other side of the tree.
She was laughing, I remember looking from my clothes to hers, we were completely soaked and she found it ridiculously funny.
"Tidus! That was amazing!" She whispered.
"Well, if you think that's amazing, you should—" I stopped when I realizes what I was about to say.
"Can I? Please?"
"Wha—but I… are you sure…" I decided to pretend that I hadn't heard it. She didn't know what I was talking about. "We should probably go back to camp, or you'll catch cold."
"Do we have to?" She said is a soft voice.
"Well, no, I mean we can stay here if you want, but I don't want Auron yelling at me if you get sick."
"Well… maybe we should let out clothes dry."
"I don't need to dry off I play Blitz ball remember? This thing gets wet all the time."
"Oh." We just kind of sat there in the moonlight for awhile; she kept scooting closer and closer to me. "I'm cold." She said leaning up against me. I could see her blushing as I wrapped my arms around her. "Tidus… I-I want to be close to you."
"We are close." I said with a sheepish grin. She just sat there and looked up at me, she was serious. It's not that I didn't want her, it's just I hadn't expected anything like this. "Are you sure Yuna?"
"Yes, Tidus, I love you." She looked so deeply into my eyes for a response; I didn't know what to do. I just leaned in and kissed her, gently at first. She leaned back against the tree, kissing as she ran her hands across my body trying to unbutton my uniform. I pulled on her robes gently, untying the bow on her back and releasing the belt around her waist. She finally loosened my uniform, and I shrugged it off. I showered her with kisses as I slipped off her robes, revealing her perfect alabaster skin.
"Yuna, I—"
"It's okay. I've never done this before, but I really want to." It was mind numbing, all I could think about was the beautiful naked girl under me, practically begging for it.
"Having an affair on your wedding night?" I said with a smile, running one hand over her breast while I slid the other down her stomach and between her legs.
"I suppose I am." She said with a giggle, kissing me frantically. Yuna was blushing all over.
"Just relax okay? This'll feel a little funny—at first, but I want to make sure that it doesn't hurt."
"Okay." She said, wrapping her arms around my neck and holding on tightly. I worked a finger inside of her, almost drooling at how tight she felt. I slipped a second finger in, stretching her playfully, and her breaths quick and wispy.
"How does that feel?" I asked licking my lips.
"Oh… it feels good." She said closing her eyes. I kissed her again and again, trying not to think about how different their lips felt.
"Are you ready?"
"Ooh, yes." It was gratifying to see her there, all blushing, and covered in sweat, her legs spread in front of me. I slipped out of my boxers and laid her down on a flat place in the tree.
"Are you sure"
"Yes, please!"
I positioned myself above her, kissing her tenderly and I rammed into her, breaking through the barrier. She gasped in my mouth, but I never stopped kissing her, even as I kept still, waiting for her body to adjust to being penetrated. She whimpered a little as I started to move, I was slow at first but I couldn't help speeding up after awhile.
"Oh Tidus!" She moaned in my ear, her arms wrapped tightly around my back. "Oh! Oh! Oh! Ooh!" She got hot fast, her body tightening around me quickly, making me want to explode.
"Yuna!" I cried, thrusting into her slowly and planting sweet kisses along her neck. I held her crushingly tight as I pumped into her, feeling her tighter around me.
"Oh! Ooooh! Tidus! I love you! Oh!" She moaned as she came, hot liquid covering me as her muscled constricted.
"Oh, yes!" I came inside her forcefully, she squealed at how it felt, and then we just lie in each-other's arms, looking up at the shimmering crystals in the trees.
"It's getting late."
"Yeah, they're probably wondering where we are."
I helped Yuna get dressed and then we sat on the bank, looking out into the forest.
"I'll continue. I must… If I give up now, I could do anything I wanted to, and yet… even if I was with you I could never forget."
"I'll go with you."
"What?"
"I'm your guardian, unless I'm …fired?" I thought that I should be fired. I was supposed to protect her, but I didn't protect her from myself. It was sad really, because Yuna was in love, and now I was obligated to be hers. Yuna shook her head 'no' she was smiling so brightly.
"Stay with me until the end. Please." She bowed shyly, and I felt there was something sad about her feeling like she had to beg me to stay with her after we'd had sex.
"Not until the end… Always."
"Always then" she was glowing. Yuna looked so beautiful and pleased; I didn't really mind being hers, much.
I saw Kimahri walking back to the camp and hoped that he hadn't seen us.
"You're not-I mean, it doesn't still hurt, does it?"
"It does, but I don't mind."
"Why don't you just use cure, I could-"
"No! I'm fine, I like being reminded that we were together." I think I blushed when she said it, because she started giggling again.
"We should probably, uh, go, right?"
"Maybe you should head back to camp first."
"Roger!"
I left the lake slowly, it was so beautiful outside, and I was worn out. I was admiring a blue butterfly when I heard her whistle; I ran back towards the lake and bumped into Yuna.
"Wait, I'll go with you!" She said shyly. I nodded at her and continued walking, she caught up to me quickly and grabbed a hold of my hand. It was a beautiful night.
When we returned to the camp everyone was there waiting for us. Rikku had a big goofy grin on her face, and WaKKa looked the most upset I had ever seen him. I wondered if he and Lulu had had a fight. Yuna let go of my hand before Auron could see.
"Tidy, did she decide to quit the pilgrimage?" Rikku asked hopefully.
"No, I'm sorry." I went back behind the crowd and readied my tent.
"Sir Auron, Wakka, Lulu, Kimahri, Rikku, everyone, we leave at dawn… and I'm sorry for putting you through all this and… um"
"Enough. You need your rest." Auron said soflty, Yuna started blushing again.
"Yes, goodnight."
Lulu and Yuna disappeared into a tent, and Wakka went in with Auron. Kimahri went to stand guard and Rikku climbed up a tree. After all that, I was still sleeping alone.
