CHAPTER SIX: JUST A PEEK…

EPOV—

I had run out of time to hide. Carlisle had given me a week to decide what I was going to do, and that week was drawing to a close. It was Thursday, my perfect mind told me, and I was still wavering between staying in Denali and going back home to Forks. Of course, Alice saw my indecision. A text popped up on my cell phone's screen: Esme misses you. That was enough to tip the scales: I was headed home.

My fairy sister was waiting for me in the long term parking at Sea-Tac, right next to my Volvo.

You made the right decision, she thought.

"How do you know?" I asked. I saw her frustration with the fact that her precognition didn't seem to work with Isabella.

As I opened the driver's side door, a tremendous smell engulfed my nostrils—a familiar smell. My immediate response was a pooling of venom in my mouth as my brain registered Isabella's scent. I stared murderously at my sister as I tried to comprehend a reason for the smell.

Get in the car, she thought. This will be good for you.

She pictured a dark grey sweater that she had placed in the back seat—Isabella's sweater.

"I plucked it from her laundry hamper last night," she told me simply. "You need to desensitize yourself to her smell if you have any chance of not killing her."

Reluctantly, I climbed into my car and took a breath. My throat felt as if someone had made me swallow tacks, the burning was so intense. I was sure my eyes were pitch black. I started the engine and gunned it out of the parking space. Alice sat quietly next to me, her only thoughts a recitation of the Iliad in its native Greek. She was hiding something from me.

"Just spit it out, Alice," I told her.

"I've spent the week getting to know her?" she phrased her sentence as a question.

"And you thought I'd be mad about this, why?"

"It's so hard to see when it concerns her," she told me. "But she is something else entirely."

"I'll say…" I mumbled.

The ride back home was excruciating. Not only did I have Isabella's intoxicating scent to contend with, but also Alice filled me in on all that she knew of the girl. I was rather enjoying her rundown of all things Isabella until she mentioned that she was friends with at least one boy from the Quileute reservation.

A feral growl ripped through me without warning. Those mutts were dangerous! The three we had met with to reinstate the treaty were only slightly older than Isabella. The odds that she would befriend one of them were high, given what we knew of the population makeup. Alice confirmed it when she thought of a name: Jacob Black. He was a direct descendant of the Chief we had made the original treaty with and had himself recently made the change to wolf when we met last year upon our return to the area.

Of course, this train of thought came full circle when I realized I was planning on interacting with her on a daily basis and I could barely resist attempting to eat her sweater at the moment. I laughed darkly at that.

The sun had risen just over the horizon as I pulled up to our sprawling home. Alice left to see Jasper and get ready for school. I opted to stay home on this Friday. Esme greeted me with a hug and a 'welcome home.' I traveled up to my room, the nefarious sweater clutched in my hand.

The entire day passed with me desperately trying to desensitize myself to Isabella's delicious smell. When Alice returned, it was with infuriating news: Isabella would once again make her way to the reservation this evening for a bonfire. Again, an instantaneous desire to keep her safe ignited deep in my gut before I could think about why. I stood up immediately and searched out my brother.

I sought out Emmett for the task I had in mind. Although Jasper might have been more useful given his empathic abilities, he was still on the fence about whether or not I should just kill her and be done with it. In his military mind, Bella Swan was a risk to the family and only two things could happen: we could move from Forks, or she could cease to exist. Given Carlisle's status as town doctor, leaving was not a current possibility. I was disinclined to give him an opportunity to enact his alternate scenario.

Emmett was acting as a jack underneath his Jeep when I found him. Rosalie was under the Jeep, as well, with ratchet in hand as she performed a tune up. Her mind was only half-focused on that task, however; she was fiercely protective of our family and so was of a similar mind to Jasper. Her vanity also showed through her thoughts as she wondered why the family—Emmett and Alice in particular—had focused any attention at all towards a 'pathetic human.'

"Emmett," I began, "I have a challenge for you."

Immediately, his interest was peaked. My brother never could resist any sort of wager or test of strength. His mind flew through a list of possible challenges I could offer and how he could attempt to best me. Rosalie's interest was also peaked, but as usual suspected foul play. I was going to have to play my cards carefully to avoid her wrath.

"What's the challenge, little brother?" he asked.

I chuckled at his term for me. Although I had been born almost forty years before he, Carlisle had given me immortality at seventeen; Rosalie had found Emmett when he was almost twenty.

"First man to find a bear, wins," I told him simply.

"And what are you prepared to lose?" he asked.

I thought for a moment before my response came to mind.

"If I win, you can't think about anything that happens between you and Rosalie in the bedroom within a three-mile radius of me for a week," I told him.

"And if I win, it will be ten times worse," he smiled and shook my hand.

Three hours later, I had had my fill of deer and bear. I'd managed to beat my brother to the punch, so to speak, and had thereby won our bet. The always-lighthearted Emmett shrugged the loss off and cut to the heart of our excursion.

"So what did you really bring me out here for?" he asked.

I thought for a moment on how to order my thoughts.

"I'm going to… conduct an experiment," I told him. "I need your help, should anything not go as planned."

"And by that you mean it has something to do with you not killing Bella Swan," he deduced.

"You're not all brawn, you know," I commented.

"Yup," he agreed, rapping his knuckles to his temple, "there's a little bit of brain in here somewhere. So what's the plan?"

Another two hours had passed. Emmett and I had waited in the woods behind the Swan residence for Isabella's return from the Reservation. Although we chatted while we waited, my brother could tell that I was distracted. I found it hard to try to explain that my visceral reaction to her apparently went beyond the singer bond. Maybe since I hadn't killed her immediately I was experiencing some sort of caveman-esque claim to her. However, I knew this was not the case as soon as the thought came to mind. The protectiveness I felt in regards to Isabella Swan's proximity to the unpredictable werewolves exceeded that. I needed her to be safe, ironic though it was when I thought about what was to come next.

Isabella finally returned to her home not on her motorcycle, but in a large, old Chevy truck. Chief Swan pulled in around the same time as his daughter and both entered the house and retired to their respective rooms.

When the Chief's mind wandered into sleep, I made my move. Emmett followed me to a tall tree outside of Isabella's bedroom window. We scaled the tree and settled onto a sturdy limb where Isabella's sleeping form was visible under her covers through the open window.

Emmett held onto me as I took my first breath since her arrival. My throat charred as I took her scent into my lungs, but the combination of having mildly accustomed myself via her stolen sweater and the distance from her body kept my bloodlust from becoming unbearable.

I'm proud of you, man, Emmett thought as I drew in another breath.

He held me back just in case for another thirty minutes before anything happened. I did not have any troubles with regards to Isabella's blood; in fact, I grew even more desensitized as the time passed on. I smiled at that realization. I could do this.

I was sure Isabella had awoken when she began to speak. I gasped when she clearly said my name and assumed the worst: that she had caught me watching her. However, I quickly realized she was merely talking in her sleep. It warmed my core to know that she was dreaming about me, but her occasional mumble of my name turned to restless tossing and turning and a shout of 'Jake, no!' Her heart rate picked up as her dream continued and I was concerned that she might fall out of her bed in her manic state.

An hour later, I decided I had tested my limits enough for one night. Emmett and I returned home to an excited Alice and a fuming Rosalie. I'd let my brother deal with his mate; I was too euphoric at not killing Isabella to let Rosalie tear into me. My pixie sister clapped her little hands and hugged me as I entered the door.

"I knew you could do it!"

"I thought you said you couldn't see when it came to her," I recalled.

"Yes, but you didn't interact with her," she told me. "You decided to go near her, but not encounter her, so I could see you in the tree. I think you should go back again tomorrow, this was a very good outcome."

And so I did. I returned to Isabella's window Saturday night and perched once more in the tree, this time with Alice by my side. She even stole in through the open window to make a swap: Isabella's previously stolen sweater was returned, as her scent no longer lingered in the fibers, and in return and old, worn T-shirt—one that she had worn to sleep the night before—was taken and put into a large Ziploc bag.

The night went smoothly for me, although the same could not be said for Isabella. Again, she tossed and turned, her heart fluttered like a field mouse's; I was wont to leave my vigil outsider her window. I wanted to know what her dreams had been about and I yearned to ask her. Of course, that was a preposterous idea, as she didn't know I knew about her restless nights.

I spent the following day as wrapped up in her scent as I could be. All of the time I'd so far spent immersed in her essence had proven beneficial: I could notice the burn decreasing in its intensity. That evening as the sun was setting I could hardly wait to return to the Swan residence. This night I was going to test myself by making the trip sans backup. I sated my thirst with deer before I meandered through the thick growth of trees to her window.

After a few hours of watching her sleep and no intense feelings of wanting to drink from her, I decided to push myself further. I rationalized that, come tomorrow, I would be a mere foot away from her in class and so needed to prove it a possibility; however, the reality was much more selfish: I wanted to be closer to her. I felt drawn to her.

I climbed through her window and seated myself in an old rocking chair in one corner. Not soon after, her vivid dream began once more. She breathed my name. Louder, she firmly said 'Jake, no!' Her heart began to race, and with it, her scent intensified. I could almost taste the light layer of sweat beading up on her soft skin. The temptation to lay with her on her bed gave me pause and I analyzed it. My protective inclinations toward Isabella had, if anything, intensified during my recent nightly visits and I could see from that standpoint how I had grown to care for the girl; however, romantic feelings had always been foreign to me, even during my human years. I knew through my telepathy how others' romantic feelings began, but I didn't see those signs within my own mind; I reasoned, therefore, that my desire to lay with her stemmed from the warped sense of protection I had for her than began when her blood first called to me.

Around five in the morning I left my post in her rocking chair and ran back home to prepare for the day. I showered quickly, changed into fresh clothes and headed toward Carlisle's study where he had beckoned me.

"Good morning," I said as I entered.

"Good morning, Edward," he replied. "Please, sit."

I did as I was bid and settled in across from my maker.

"You have been spending time acclimating to your singer, Isabella Swan, I hear," he stated.

"I have."

"And?" he prompted.

"The burn is ever present, but manageable," I told him. "I spent the night in close proximity to her with no ill side effects."

Oh really? Carlisle thought.

"I needed to ensure that I could be near her during the school day," I explained.

"Of course, son. I'm proud of your strength of will."

There was a thought wandering around in his vast mind that he was trying to conceal. Normally, I would ignore such a thing, but as with all things that concerned Isabella lately, I threw discretion to the wind.

"Whatever it is you want to say, say it," I prompted him.

"I—" he began, before restarting. "You have a light in your eyes that I have not seen for some time. I cannot help but wonder if it has something to do with the Swan girl."

"I have no clue what you mean," I told him, "I have hardly even spoken to her."

"Be that as it may…"

Alice whirred down the hallway, but stopped at the open door through which Carlisle and I were seated.

"Come on, come on," she begged. "We're gonna be late!"

I sighed, smiling, and stood up from my chair to follow my energetic sister out of the office.

Don't be a stranger, Carlisle thought to me as I left.

The morning passed monotonously slowly. It could have had to do with the fact that I was anxiously anticipating my first non-sleeping encounter since I had returned. Regardless, time passed slower than it had any right to. By the time the lunch hour came about, I was so wound up that Jasper had to attempt to calm my nerves so that he wouldn't suffer. I had arrived at the cafeteria quicker than normal, which just served to agitate me more as I searched the incoming sea of students for Isabella.

Finally, she arrived. Her eyes went straight towards me. Could it be that she felt something akin to what I felt in regards to her? My hopes were dashed when she- in a very unladylike, but very her move—gestured to me with one finger.

"Hah!" Emmett chortled next to me. "She just told you to fu—"

"I know what she signaled, Emmett," I growled low.

"I thought we'd made progress," Alice lamented. She thought back to the previous week when Isabella had sat with the family for lunch.

"Maybe it's me," I suggested, hoping I was wrong.

I couldn't help staring at her like a lurch. I hoped that maybe I could will her to look at me once more. Already, I craved her deep brown eyes. I heard Jessica Stanley's jealous inner monologue viciously rip Isabella apart. Though I tried to tune it out, her thoughts erupted something feral in me.

How dare she talk about Isabella that way? I thought, before I reminded myself that she hadn't actually said those things and that thoughts were supposed to be private within the confines of your own mind.

When Isabella stood up from the table a few minutes later and well before the end of lunch, I saw my opportunity to approach her. Full of surprises that hid in her silent mind, she turned on me in the hallway.

"What do you want? Why are you following me?" her gravelly voice flustered me and I forgot my original aim.

"I don't understand what you mean," I lied, "I was just heading to my next class, that happens to be the very same one you are going to."

"Oh, of course," she called my bluff. "Silly me thinking maybe you were trying to figure out how to apologize to me for being such an utter and complete douche last week."

"No! I mean, yes," I stuttered. "I was meaning to apologize for my behavior last week. I was… unwell… but I should never have been so… rude to you."

I hoped she would leave it at that, but she surprised me again.

"Well, rude is an understatement," she told me. "You never even spoke to me. Instead, you decided to treat me like a leper or someone with an equally disgusting disease. If you could have burrowed into that wall, I'm sure you would have. And what the fuck was with the whole Mrs. Robinson bit with Mrs. Cope after that? Trying to seduce her so she'd switch your classes mid-year? Jesus."

I was trying to comprehend this creature that was in front of me. How could such a small young lady hold so much pent up inside her? She was right, though; every word she spoke was the truth. I was ashamed of my actions, even though the only alternative I'd seen at the time was to kill her.

"You never seem to do what I expect," I said unexpectedly.

"You haven't been around me long enough to know to expect the unexpected," told me.

I knew at that moment that wanted to; I wanted to know her.

"I'd like to change that. I'd like to get to know you."

"Look, Eddie," I hated that particular nickname, "you seem like a perfectly nice guy, our first encounter notwithstanding; but therein lies the problem: I am not a nice gal."

She turned and walked off, done with her end of the conversation. I, however, was not done. Every moment I spent with her, waking or asleep, my need for her proximity grew. I wanted to… be her friend? That did not seem like an adequate term, but I knew not else what to think. I wanted to know her. I wanted to hear all about her past; I wanted to be there for her future.

That thought brought me up short. I looked around the almost deserted hallway and realized class was about to start. I heard the substitute's mind as I rounded the hallway. He was thinking some very inappropriate thoughts about a smiling Isabella. As I passed him, I growled low enough that his brain would not register it consciously, but that he would definitely, as they say, get the memo. His mind immediately associated Isabella with this seemingly random feeling of dread.

Good, I thought, maybe this will keep him from preying on any other students.

"Class, my name is Mr. Benton. Mr. Banner has provided a video on cellular mitosis in the human body. A two page paper will be due next class on the subject."

The sub was still a bit shaken as I sat down, his mind elsewhere. It took him a beat longer than it should have to turn on the television and press play. I took the opportunity that his back was turned to pull out a sheet of paper and write a note to Isabella. I needed to know if there was a way she would let me in.

What makes you think I'm a good guy? –EC

She laughed lightly, a heavenly sound to my ears. Her response came shortly thereafter.

Aside from your sister singing your praises last week? She wrote.

Damn Alice! I sighed as I thought about how much damage I would have to undo. Didn't my sister see that Isabella was not like the other girls in the school? A sugared description of me was not going to win her over; although, the truth would send her running even faster.

Yes, aside from that. What do you base your assumption off of? –EC

The Chief says you don't get in trouble with the law. Everyone in this school idolizes you and your family. I've only met a couple of people who dislike you. All signs point to good guy.

Just because I'm in good standing with the population of Forks doesn't necessarily make me an angel. –EC

Isabella tucked the note away as the substitute passed. He still spent a beat too long checking to see if my tablemate was doing anything aside from watching the video as he'd assigned. It was obvious from his thoughts that he'd had luck with other female students when he'd subbed at other high schools. I made a note to convince him he no longer wanted to be around adolescent women at a future time.

I looked over to Isabella again, noticing that since the lecherous substitute's passing, she had not pulled our note out again. She was nimbly moving her pen in her hand, instead. I decided to try a new tactic.

I think we started off on the wrong foot. Hello, my name is Edward Cullen and it is a pleasure to meet you. –EC

She smiled. I felt I was headed on the right track.

Hello, Edward, my name is Isabella Swan, but I prefer Bella.

Ah, 'Bella' did suit her better. It was beautiful, still, but decidedly less polished than 'Isabella.'

Enchanted, Bella, I replied. What brings you all the way to Forks?

She thought for a minute, her face an open book of deliberation. I tried to think of what in that sentence could make her think so hard on a response. For a moment, I feared I had pushed too far and that she wouldn't speak to me again. Then she jotted down a short reply. It was definitely not what I had expected.

I got kicked out of my mom's house in Phoenix for being arrested… you?

Arrested? I thought. What on earth had she been doing to get arrested? But then I remembered that this woman was an enigma and that danger, maybe especially illegal danger, suited her perfectly. Unfortunately, the bell and rung as I thought through that and she had already bolted for the door. Had I messed up by not immediately replying? Did this compound my 'good guy' persona in her mind? Oh, what I would give to have a glimpse into her silent mind!

I followed her out of the classroom and through the sea of dismissing students. She was almost outside now; I had to know.

"Bella," I yelled, "Bella, wait!"

Many students turned toward me in open shock. No member of my family had willingly engaged another student since our arrival last January. She graciously allowed me to catch up to her. My apology sprang from my lips.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know precisely what to say back there. You… you never seem to do what I expect. I'm used to being able to… read people… but with you, it's a mystery."

"You don't owe me any apology or explanation, Cullen," she told me. "However, if you could, keep what I told you on the down-low."

"Of course," I promised.

She laughed. "Lighten up, Cullen! You'll get wrinkles."

She turned, our conversation apparently over, and headed to her cherry red truck. That laugh was a beautiful melody, one that I swore I would hear again.

As my family joined me and we departed, my resolve was absolute: Bella was quickly becoming a shining beacon of happiness in my life. I needed to be near her and I would not do anything to jeopardize that.


A/N: I hope you've enjoyed this peek into Edward's mind! Back to Bella next time.