CHAPTER SEVEN - Coming To Terms With A Loss Means Losing That Loss Forever

My obsession with finding Dan had gotten worse, and my failure to let Brooke go hadn't gotten better. I knew I was pushing my friends and family further away. I knew that one day I'd have to come to terms with losing Brooke, just like they had done. But, to me coming to terms with loss was losing that loss forever. And, that was just something I wasn't ready for.

I waited for my mom to leave the house before entering through the door attached to my old room. The room in which I'd shared so many kisses, so many tears, so many memories with Brooke. I stopped for a second, my eyes fixed on the box on top of my wardrobe. The cardboard box which I hadn't dared to look in since she'd broken up with me years before, since she'd broken my heart into a million pieces, since she'd walked away from me and all I could do was say sorry.

"Lucas?" Andy appeared at the open door "What are you doing here?" he asked

My eyes lingered on the box for a few moments more before I turned to face Andy "The police know where Dan is" I told him bluntly

Shock, joy, satisfaction spread across his face all at once "Lucas, that's great" he patted me on the back like he was content with the news. Me, on the other hand, was far from content

"I need your help…" I looked around for any sign of my mom. If she knew what I was about to ask Andy, she'd put a spanner in the works for sure "I need you to get one of your guys to find out where he is"

Andy's cheerful expression turned to uncertainty "What? Why?" he stammered

"I need to get to Dan before they do. I need to find out why he did it" I smelt the alcohol on my own breath as I spoke. I saw the desperation on my face as I glanced into the mirror

Andy sighed and rubbed his hand over his face like he was exhausted with my possessed behaviour "Lucas, its too dangerous. Just let the police do there job"

"Andy, you've gotta help me out. I just need half an hour alone with him" I appealed to him

He looked into my eyes for a second. In that second I knew he was questioning what had gone so wrong that I'd ended up like this. That I'd ended up so lifeless yet so bitter "I cant trust what you'll do to him when you see him, Lucas. I cant put you in that danger"

I shut my eyes, knowing that it was over. The police where going to find Dan first and I'd never get to find out why "…Please" I whispered and then turned to face him once again "This is my only chance…" I could see him giving in, I could see him breaking under the pressure "I just need to ask him why"

He heaved a sigh "I'll see what I can do" he agreed reluctantly

"Thanks Andy…" I told him genuinely

"If you mom found out about this she'd kill me…" he told me "She'd kill us both…"

"She isn't gonna find out" I reassured him, before turning to leave

"Lucas…" he called from behind me before I turned back round to face him "Dan cant bring Brooke back, and neither can you" he told me with a little fear in his voice, fear of how I might react to his words "You need to start talking to us, Luke" I advised me "And, if you feel like you cant talk to us, then maybe writing down what your feeling will help you. You've still got that book to write…"

I looked up as the warm water came showering down onto my face. I'd spent the morning working at Tree Hill High. I'd taken over Whitey's job when he'd retired and couldn't be more happier with my career as a basketball coach and novel writer. My love life on the other hand, wasn't going so well. For the last ten years I'd wanted nothing more than to scream my feelings for Brooke, nothing more than to say them out loud. But, something was stopping me. That something being the fear of losing her friendship.

"Lucas!" her raspy voice rang through the house, followed by a slamming of the front door. She always slammed doors. Even when she wasn't angry "Luke!!" she shouted once more

"I'm in the shower…" I called back, and expected her to wait for me to get out instead of doing what she did, which was walk into the bathroom anyway
"Brooke!!" I shouted in shock. But, after thinking for a second I didn't know why I was so shocked. She'd invaded my privacy many times before. It didn't bother me though. There was something about Brooke Davis. She could make anything seem cute, make anyone fall in love with her ways. With her.

"Don't look so worried. I've seen it all before" she kinked her eyebrow before flashing me an adorable smile that could have made me fall for her right there and then. If I hadn't already "Although, you are looking kinda buff…" she surveyed my highly exposed body, whilst I did my best to cover it up "Have you been doing my yoga DVD while I've been away?" she joked. She always had a tendency to go off topic

I grabbed the towel which was on the rail near enough for me to reach "Was there something you wanted to tell me?" I asked, wrapping the towel around my waist and getting out of the shower

"Oh, yeah, sorry…" she apologised, realising she'd gone a little off topic whilst I walked through to the living area and she followed "So, I was at dinner with Haley, and your cell starts ringing-"

"Wait, why did you have my cell?" I interrupted her much to her displeasure

"Yours has free minutes…" she shrugged and continued whilst I rolled my eyes "Anyway, I answer and its this publisher guy, he said he was a big fan of your last book and he thinks your very talented" she informed me excitedly "AND, he wants you to write a book and he said that if its good enough, his company will publish like a hundred, thousand copies, more if it does well" she said all in one breath before clapping her hands together hyperactively

"Are you kidding?" I asked, dumbfounded by Brooke's news

"He wants you to write a dark, emotional novel or something. He gave me his number, he wants you to call him" she pulled a piece of paper from her bag and handed it to me, while I put all my effort into keeping a hold on my towel and reaching for the paper all at once

"Oh my god. That's great" I hugged Brooke, and only realised that I was still wet from the shower when her expression turned to one of displeasure "This is unbelievable"

"Yeah, well, just don't go forgetting me when your all big and famous…" she joked before grabbing a soda from the fridge

"Like I could ever forget you…" I said, sitting down on the stool at the breakfast counter "You kinda leave an everlasting impression"

"Oh, yeah?" she asked, eager for me to elaborate and complement her more

"Yeah, for all the wrong reasons…" I teased, and received a mock laugh and playfully rub on the head before she made her way down the hallway

"I can see through you towel by the way" she commented without looking back, as I hurriedly tried to conceal whatever it was that was on show. She then turned back to face me "Gotcha" she winked mischievously

"I haven't really thought about writing since Brooke-" I couldn't bear to finish the sentence

"Try it. It could help" Andy advised before leaving me alone

Alone in my old room, with my past memories, and present pain. I glanced back round at the cardboard box that contained everything I'd ever shared with her. She'd never known that it wasn't just Peyton that had had a box, she'd had one too. She'd also never known that not only did she have a box, but she'd had my heart, my mind and my soul. She not only had a box, she had me. And, that was something that nobody else but her could claim as theirs.

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Again, sorry for the long wait but here's the next chapter. I hope you guys will continue to stick with this coz the drama is really gonna kick in within the next few chapters as you can probably guess lol. Anyways, please comment

Sophia x