Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of slashy literature to all those poor unenlightened Fellow Man out there. I am making no profit from this.

Pairings: 2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

Summary: Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...


Roommate: Unwanted

Chapter Seven: Chaos at Codfish's


Codfish's was a cosy little restaurant that sold, contrary to its name, not one whit of codfish. It had a veranda all around the main bulk of its restaurant, for people who liked the fresh air; inside the building there was a distinctly countryside feel, with trailing ivy on trellises and glass windows framed with wood designs that let the brisk sunlight in. The electric lights were soft, but bright. Duo loved the place, and often went there to relax and think. Lately though, he hadn't had the time or the resources.

So when he was informed regretfully by the waiter that there were no more tables, he couldn't hide all of his disappointment. Dredging up a smile, he tried one more time: "Is there anyone leaving soon, maybe? I could wait, or maybe share a table… there's only two of us, and you have quite large tables."

The waiter shook his head. "I'm sorry, sir," he said, honest sympathy in his eyes, "but this is our peak dinner hour, and most people tend to take quite long, or be averse to sharing tables."

"Oh." Duo bit his lip, and then gave his brightest smile. "It's all right, I guess – wouldn't want to give you any trouble. Thanks."

"I apologize for the trouble, sir."

Duo waved a dismissive hand with a reassuring smile. "Nah, no worries, it's not your fault." He turned to leave, shoulders drooping a little, smile faltering.

"Excuse me – if you'd like, we could share a table…? There's only three of us."

He turned, hope relighting in his eyes, and his gaze fell on a young Chinese man, who gave him a small smile. "It's a table for four, but like you said they have large tables, and I think we can fit five easily."

Duo fairly beamed. "Are you sure? Would your friends mind?"

The Chinese man shrugged. "If they do, they know better than to protest, being late. But knowing them, they'd be all too glad to help out."

His high spirits regained like they'd never been gone, Duo grinned at his new friend. "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome." There was a pause, and then he said, "Um, I might be hallucinating, but is your hair… green?"

Duo had hidden his braid inside his jacket, and most of the remaining visible hair in a cap put on backwards, but he couldn't do anything about the bangs. He grinned sheepishly. "Uh… long story. Trust me, I don't do this often."

"Ah. Shall we get to our table, then?"

The waiter smiled at them both. "I'll come by to take your orders in a few minutes."

Duo grinned back at the waiter, and then followed the Chinese man as he led them to a table for four, in a spacious corner. "I really appreciate this," Duo said cheerfully. "I've missed this place so much, but lately I've just never found the time to come over."

"I like this place, too," the Chinese man replied. "My friends and I come here whenever we meet up, if possible; it reminds us of the old times, just the three of us."

"It holds sentimental value for me, too," Duo agreed.

They sat down opposite each other; the waiter came to place a chair at the head of the table next to them, to the Chinese man's left and Duo's right. As the waiter left, Duo held out his hand. "I don't believe I know the name of my benefactor, yet," he said, grinning.

An amused smile accompanied the handshake. "Chang Wufei, Chang being my surname," Wufei said.

"Nice to meet you, Wufei! I'm Duo… Max… well?" He trailed off as the back half of his brain smacked the front half with a sign that had Wufei's name scrawled on it in huge red letters and a lot of exclamation marks. "Wait – Wufei?"

"Duo Maxwell?" Wufei said at the same time in the same incredulous tones.

They dropped each other's hand like it had cooties.

Duo pointed an accusing finger at Wufei. "Wufei!" he exclaimed.

Wufei glared. "Maxwell," he acknowledged.

And then…

"Maxwell?"

Duo turned and yelped. "Yuy!"

"Maxwell?" The green-eyed man next to Heero blinked, and then looked at Duo's table partner. "…Wufei?"

"Trowa," Wufei muttered in greeting.

"Trowa?" Duo repeated, knowing that it was Quatre's lover's name.

Heero switched his stare from Duo to the Chinese man. "Wufei? Maxwell?"

"Heero," was Wufei's curt reply.

"Trowa? Heero? Duo?"

"Quatre!" Duo said in relief, seeing his friend approach.

"Quatre?" The green-eyed man, apparently called Trowa, turned to look at the newly arrived blond with surprise.

The blond got his first good look at the table, and his mouth dropped open. "Wufei? Duo?"

Wufei's sigh was one of resignation. "Quatre."

Heero glared at the blond. "Quatre –"

"Spongebob Squarepants!"

A brief silence fell in the entire restaurant.

The waiter was blushing furiously with embarrassment, but he coughed and said loudly, "May I take your orders, sirs?"

Feeling the entire restaurant's gazes upon them, Quatre hastily sat next to Duo and tugged Trowa into the seat at the head of the table, leaving Heero to take the seat next to Wufei and opposite Quatre. He did so, glowering. Menus were handed out accordingly, and five pairs of unwilling eyes focused on the neat print.

Since he already knew what he wanted – he'd tried most of the food here, and had a favourite dish of his own – Duo used the time to look over at his adversary. Irrational irritation grew with each nanosecond that Heero kept the constipated look on his face, and Duo finally gave in to the urge to do something about it. He narrowed his eyes, determining the direction and angle, and then kicked out vehemently.

"OW!"

Four pairs of eyes – three confused, and the remaining one also confused but slowly filling with horrified realization – turned to stare at a red-faced Wufei, who was bent at an awkward angle, rubbing at his shin. With the unerring instinct of prey whose friend had just been eaten, the three pairs of eyes turned to Duo.

He assumed the most unthreatening look he could, hoping that his eyes were wide and simply sparkling with confused innocence. Reaching over to the table next to them, he speared a piece of meat with his fork and held it up with a winning smile. "Chicken?"

"Duo," Quatre began, frowning – and then yelped in pain, twisting in his chair to bring his legs out from under the table. "Owowowowow!"

Wufei winced. "Ah, crap – sorry, Quatre, I was aiming for Maxwell…"

"Since when was your aim so bad?" Trowa demanded, glaring at him. "I have a good mind to kick you again."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"You just kicked Quatre, what do you think?"

"I think you both should be quiet."

"Oh, like you're one to talk – you started this mess after all, Heero."

"Me?"

"Yes, you! I bet Maxwell was aiming for your leg and got me instead –"

"Who was the one sitting with him when we arrived, I'd like to know!"

"Um, Quatre?" Duo said worriedly, watching his friend as the three bickered in the background. He got no response; the blond's head was lowered, and he was shaking a little. The American hesitated, and then leaned over, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He froze in mind-motion, however, when Quatre's head snapped up and furious blue eyes fixed on his hand.

The other three fell silent, watching in horror. One thought ran through their minds: oh, no. Here we go again.

With a growl, Quatre chomped on Duo's hand.

The American let out a yell, snatching his hand back as Quatre let out a war cry and turned on the other three men frozen in their chairs. There was a movement under the table, and then Wufei leapt up with a surprisingly girly shriek, clutching his foot. Trowa and Heero, startled into action, tried to stand as well – but went down with twin cries as Quatre casually tipped the table on its side. Heero, at least, had managed to slip away just in time to avoid being crushed under the table, but a fork had stuck through his shirt into the wood floor and he couldn't get it out, and besides he'd gotten tangled up in the tablecloth like Trowa had.

"Why – can't – we – all – just – get – along?" Quatre demanded between plates. Plates, as in throwing them – which he was, from his vantage point on a chair. At Wufei, who was running around the restaurant avoiding the porcelain missiles, ducking and doing weird jumping movements with other people's chairs – empty ones, since their owners had long since abandoned them for the relative safety of the undersides of their tables. Most of the plates ended up shattering against the walls, but a few managed to graze Wufei due to Quatre's sharp eye and good aim.

"Quatre, love, light of my life, please –" Trowa tried from underneath the tablecloth he was trying to wrestle out of. A plate shattered next to his head and he shut up.

"Like you're one to talk, Trowa Barton! You got me all aroused and then you left me hanging, saying something about revenge for making you sleep on the couch – which you'll be doing for the next month, by the way!" Quatre snapped, and then turned to look for his Chinese target. "Wufei! You shin-kicking plebeian, come out!"

From underneath one of the tables, Wufei tried a reassuring smile at the couple of diners sheltering there as well. "You'll have to forgive my friend – he gets a bit high strung at times when he sees people not getting along – AIEEE!"

With wide eyes, the couple watched him get dragged bodily out from under the table by his leg. When he had vanished from sight past the veil of the tablecloth, the man turned to the woman. "Aren't you glad I don't try to kill you every time you leave me hanging?" he said weakly, trying a little humour – their relationship had been on the rocks for a few months now, and he didn't know what to do… he'd bought her a ring, but things had gone downhill and he'd never found a chance to give it to her.

The woman eyed the place where Wufei had last vanished. "Yes, but all that strength… that passion… that spontaneity. He must be amazing in bed."

There was a moment of silence.

"He is, actually," came a voice from outside.

The woman flushed bright red as she realized that the sounds of shattering plates and screaming had ceased, and her comment had probably been heard by the entire restaurant.

"Trowa!" The yelp sounded scandalized. "Oh – you managed to get out of the tablecloth – mmph. Mmm… wait, wait, I know what you're doing! You're just trying to distract me!"

"You were right, I was wrong to leave you hanging just now… let me rectify that immediately," came the silky reply.

"Don't you dare – mmm. Unh… mmm. Oh, Trowayes, god, there…"

Suddenly embarrassed, the woman shifted uncomfortably – only to be distracted by her partner clearing his throat. When she looked over at him, he was loosening his tie with a decided gleam in his eye. "You want spontaneity? I'll give you spontaneity."

He pounced.

Duo, who was nursing his hand in an unobtrusive corner, watched with wide eyes as Trowa and Quatre made out in the middle of the restaurant, with increasing sound effects from under the tables – more than one table, and oh, his ears, he was going to have to wash them with acid – adding to theirs. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Heero emerge from behind the upturned table, holding a – a fork? – triumphantly in the air. It dropped from stunned fingers as he stared at the scene unfolding before him. Duo watched as deep blue eyes traveled around the room to stop on him.

"This is all somehow your fault," Heero accused, glaring.

Duo glared back. "Well if you hadn't looked in need of a good hard kick to get that look off your face this wouldn't have happened at all!"

"So it was you!"

The look he received was one of blank incredulity. "Duh."

Heero growled and got up, stalking the few steps to reach Duo – who had also scrambled to his feet to face him. Hating the fact that he was just that bit shorter than Duo, Heero got right into his personal space and managed to stare down his nose at him, despite having to actually look up. "I wouldn't be surprised if you picked this place because you knew I'd be here," he snapped.

Duo rolled his eyes. "And I wouldn't be surprised if you think the world revolves around you, Yuy! I happen to like this place, alright? I've hung out around here for as long as I can remember."

"Well, now all of us can forget about coming back here," Heero bit out.

"No kidding." Duo tilted his head a little to look at Quatre and Trowa. "Does this happen often? Quatre going all… you know."

"Only when something triggers it off. Mostly it's when his friends aren't getting along… he really hates that, and it does something to him. There's a story behind it, but I'm not telling you of all people."

Duo shrugged easily. "Hey, no worries… I'm not asking you. If it's Quatre's story, it's his to tell. I like him the way he is."

Heero opened his mouth to say something, but then realized that all the scathing, angry words that had been on the tip of his tongue just a few seconds ago had gone. The irritation was there, the embarrassment was there, the anger was there… but it was all slowly fading in the face of that easy grin and those telling words – it's his to tell.

The American watched him struggling with words for a moment, and grinned wider despite himself. Aw… he's so cute and kittenish when he's trying to be all angry. It makes me want to take him home and just cuddle him.

Cuddle him the way the tall guy's doing to the blondie, you mean?

Duo mentally swatted the bunny. Shut up. I'm not doing anything of the sort with Heero Yuy of all people… I like my men flexible, and he's as stiff as can be.

Mmm… stiff, huh?

Shut up!

"What are you grinning at?"

He couldn't help it – he laughed, and with a sudden inspiration derived from his sudden good mood, he reached down in a quick movement, grabbed the plate of chicken off the table next to them and speared a forkful. "Here."

"What? Mmph!"

Duo grinned amiably at him. "Tastes good, doesn't it?" He ate a bite himself and moaned his pleasure, taking amusement from the way Heero averted his eyes.

"Oh god, Yuy, not you too!"

They blinked at each other for a moment, both mouths full of chicken, and then it dawned on them what they must have looked and sounded like to Wufei, standing a distance away. Heero spun around so fast he lost his balance. "Wait, Wufei –"

"Whoa, easy there!" Duo caught Heero just in time, but they ended up falling to the ground together since he was too close to the Japanese man to be able to balance the both of them. The position they ended up in was a very… compromising one, however, and proved to be the last straw Wufei's scarred, rather conservative mind could take.

They watched him faint in a vaguely amused sort of resignation.

"Well, hell." Heero looked at Duo, eyebrow raised. "It's your mess, Maxwell. Clean it up."

Duo smiled up at him, feeling a surprisingly lethargic sense of peace. "Like the kitchen?"

"Like the kitchen," Heero confirmed, lips twitching.

"Like the paint?"

"Like the paint. You did say you were good at cleaning up."

"I did?"

"Oh yes. It was when you said you were going to be the best roommate ever."

"I said that, didn't I?"

"You did indeed."

"Guess I'm going to have to live up to it then."

"I'll be waiting to see what brilliant idea you'll come up with."

They untangled themselves, and Duo stood up to survey the restaurant. "Hmm…" He stuck two fingers in his mouth and let out the most ear-piercing whistle Heero had ever heard.

A silence fell. Quatre and Trowa stopped to turn and stare at Duo.

"Uh… everyone? If you don't come out from under there… your food's going to get cold."

There was another silence. Then Duo was aware of a muffled sound behind him; when he turned, he was greeted with a sight that shocked him as well as warmed him.

Heero Yuy, cold calculating mastermind and overall humourless bastard… was laughing so hard he was doubled over, clutching his stomach. The look on his face the most open, most unrestricted one Duo had ever seen, and it made his chest constrict in a way he recognized and had sworn to himself, a long time ago, he'd never let himself feel again.

Watching Heero, though, he couldn't bring himself to care much about that oath.

"That… is your… brilliant… idea?" Heero gasped through his laughter.

"Brilliant enough," Duo murmured, smiling.

When they were thrown out of the restaurant ten minutes later, Quatre and Wufei dark red with embarrassment and Trowa his own stoic self, Duo was still smiling, and Heero's eyes were still bright with laughter, though his expression was smoothly blank. Purple eyes met deep blue ones, and some understanding passed between them.

"All I did was try to kick you… and look at the mess that resulted," Duo said lightly.

"Imagine what would happen if we tried anything really big," Heero agreed.

As the other three watched on in varying levels of disbelief, Duo held out his hand. "Truce?"

"Truce," Heero agreed, taking the offered hand.

"Truce!" Wufei burst out. "After all that – I thought you two couldn't stand –"

Heero and Duo turned mildly surprised expressions on him. "Why, Wufei, we meant a truce in public," Duo said.

"Obviously," Heero added.

"Obviously? Since when?" It was Quatre's turn to be bewildered.

Trowa, however, simply smiled and placed placating hands on both his friends' shoulders. "Quatre, Wufei… we really should get going." Gently he steered them towards his car, and called over his shoulder, "If you two need help, do call us."

"See you later, Trowa."

"Will do, Tro-man!"

"Tro-man!" Wufei sputtered, trying to twist around to stare at Duo and Heero again, but Trowa gently but firmly shoved him into the back seat. He helped Quatre into the front seat, and then got in the driver's side and started the engine.

"Let's go for lunch somewhere else, shall we?"

"Trowa – you can't really be planning on leaving them here! Together! Look at what happened just now –"

"Wufei… Quatre. Just now they didn't do anything. It was all us. Look at them now, and tell me it's a bad idea."

They dutifully looked.

The two were standing in the middle of the parking lot, simply talking. They could make out Duo's teasing grin and the… relaxed set of Heero's face. Heero said something, smirking, and Duo made to kick him half-heartedly.

"No way," Quatre said at last.

"Absolutely none," Wufei said faintly.

Trowa shook his head. "Oh, they aren't friends, not by a long shot… but they understand each other now, in some way. There's going to be some spectacular pranking going on between them in private… but outside? Who knows."

There was a moment of contemplative silence.

Then Quatre started laughing. "I think… I think, Trowa, that I got more than I bargained for with Duo Maxwell."

"I think… that's a very good thing, actually. His life needs some shaking up."

"And I," Wufei grumbled, "think that Yuy will be lucky if he can get out of this with his house intact."

"Oh, well said, my friend!"


Okay… this chapter really got away from me. The ending's so far from what I'd planned that it isn't even funny.

Next Chap: Some light-hearted pranking in the name of good fun! And the long awaited (or rather, dreaded) girls appear.

Any critique (and I think there's going to a quite a bit about the OOCness of things… sorry about that in advance) is welcome! And for any pins you want to stick in me for dying on you all these few months… I offer my arm to you. Just stay away from the fingers, please? I need them to type.

Thank you for reading!

Ashen Skies
"Guess I'm going to have to live up to it then."