Part 7
Sigvruuf made his way to the roof. After returning from the Midden, and eating some food, it was now dark. There was some snow gathered against the battlements. It was very dark, with only dim lights from the College itself, and some from the town. Sigvruuf raised his hand and formed a small light, which rose from his hand and floated nearby. He heard a door opening and turned to see Riktla.
She walked past him and leaned against the wall. "Do you want some answers?"
"We all want answers."
"Stop avoiding the question by being philosophical." Riktla turned to face Sigvruuf. "I can use the Thu'um, the Voice."
"I have heard of the Voice, and for many years, it was something far away, in the far past. And then, Ulfic uses it to kill the High King in a duel, and then I see it first hand. Doesn't it take years of practice to learn even one shout?"
"Normally, unless you're Dragonborn, like me."
"Dragonborn...I would say you must be jesting, but you are clearly serious. Then again, with the Dragon's returning..."
"If you heard stories of someone killing dragons, that was probably me."
"Now, all your discussion of carrying burdens makes so much more sense." Sigvruuf formed another ball of light. It didn't provide any heat, but it was still comforting. "May I ask what lead you here then?"
"Doing what I do best. Running away." Riktla sank down further against the wall. There was a long pause, which grew into an uncomfortable silence. Sigvruuf had nearly worked up the courage to say something, when he noticed Riktla was crying. Not significantly, no tears streaming down her cheeks, just a few wet trails down her cheeks. One slid down, following the scar on her face, and onto her sleeve. He remained quiet, unsure what to say.
Riktla stood to her full height, probably about an inch or two taller than Sigvruuf. "I am supposed to save the world from Alduin, the world devouring dragon. But I couldn't even save him. If I'm the legendary hero, then Nirn is finished."
"Maybe you should just tell me what happened."
"Alright. I was born an orphan. At least, I don't remember my parents. And then I was kidnapped, became a slave of a daedric cult. They practiced many things...I don't really want to discuss. I don't know which daedric prince they worshipped, but I don't think it was Molag Bal." She reached up and traced a scar on her neck. "Not all my scars come from adventuring and fighting dragons. And not all of them are physical."
"I admit I have no idea what that must have felt like. I'm sorry...I'm not sure what else to say."
"You need not say anything. Just listen." Sigvruuf was about to form another light, but Riktla grabbed his arm. "Let me get this one. I know Magelight too." Riktla formed the light, and then continued. "When I was thirteen, I met my first friend. And older man, a former legionnaire, rescued me from the cult. He lived in a cabin nearby. I was sent outside to pick alchemy ingredients, and I first, I didn't trust him, but after a few days, I went with him willingly. It may seems strange, but it was much better than what had happened before. He trained me how to fight. But it didn't last, the cult found him, found me, and...well, he sent me away, said he would follow me, and of course, he didn't."
Riktla stopped for a moment, and stared out into the darkness, across the sea. "I fled north, into Skyrim. I was caught by imperials, taken to Helgen, and was about to be executed." She turned and faced Sigvruuf. "It is a very low place for one to be, when you're disappointed your execution is interrupted. I don't know why I didn't just let Alduin kill me. Maybe that was destiny."
"How can you be so normal, I mean, after all that you went through..."
"As horrible as parts of my life have been, you make it. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. And, it hasn't all been bad. There have been good times. Some of those days, training in the wilds of Cyrodil, hunting, even making some potions. I learned so much. It isn't the bad things that hurt the most. It is that every time life seems to be going well, getting better, something happens to destroy everything." Riktla's voice rose in volume and passion with the last few words. "Sigvruuf, why do the divines hate me?"
"I..."
"No need to answer. There isn't one. Thanks for just listening and being there." And then Riktla surprised Sigvruuf by embracing him. It was a far stronger hug than he anticipated. Sigvruuf awkwardly hugged her back. As Riktla backed away, he noticed the door closing over her shoulder. An angular face, and wisps of blond hair under hood vanished behind the wooden planks of the door. Sigvruuf was afriad he would now have to have an awkward conversation with a certain elf. When he stuck to his books, this kind of thing didn't happen.
"Is something wrong?" the Dragonborn asked.
"No. Earlier, you said something about not being able to save him. Was that the old man, your mentor?"
"No, something far more recent. When I arrived here, fled from the dragon with some help from some Stormcloaks, who were also about to be executed, I had no money, except for some I stole from Helgen. I started working for the Jarl...I had actually seen a dragon and lived. I helped kill one outside Whiterun, though really, about the only thing I really did was absorb its soul. Once I found out I was Dragonborn...things escalated. I began to believe I could stop the dragons, save the world. And then, Lydia, my housecarl...I'm a Thane too..."
"I met her. I visit the Inn on occasion."
"Right...I should have known. Lydia, me, and...Erik...oh Erik." Riktla lauged a little, and Sigvruuf noticed she was crying again. "Called himself Erik the Slayer. A little presumptuous, but...Sigvruuf, I loved him. And I couldn't save him. I badly underestimated a dragon outside Whiterun, near Chillfurrow Farm. I fell down an embankment, crawled to the top just in time to see the dragon sink his teeth...I shouted, charged the dragon, killed it...but it was too late. Lydia was nearly burned alive. I passed out soon afterwards, badly injured. The Companions found us. Danica said he had been dead for some time by the time she saw him." She paused for a moment, emotionally drained. She leaned against the wall.
Sigvruuf conjured another light. "You don't need to tell me any more."
"I need to tell someone. I didn't mean to unload everything on you, but..."
"There is no need to apologize."
"The what ifs of that day play through my mind often. I...ran to the farthest corner of Skyrim, away from politics and dragons...When I fled here, I wasn't sure I would ever go back. But now, I am going back, but first...I have business here. Thank you for reminding me I wasn't alone."
"Of all the people here, you picked the one with the least amount of experience relating to other people."
"Perhaps. Your hug was pretty uninviting. Well, now you know."
"I do..."
"You can tell Eldana or Brelyna if you want. I already told the Arch-Mage I was Dragonborn." The two stood their for a bit longer. "You know, it is cold up here."
"It is. Did you find anything about the Staff?"
"Savos didn't know anything, but Mirabelle might. Unfortunately, she is gone, and won't be back for a couple days. I need some time to practice my magical skills, and recover, put my thoughts in order. This was a good first step. Maybe I'll talk with you again."
"Can we do it someplace warm, with some nice hot stew perhaps?"
"Good idea. I think my tears are freezing to my face." Riktla walked to the door and opened it. "Good night."
"Good night." Sigvruuf remained just a few moments longer. He felt many feelings swirling inside him. Some of the feelings felt pleasant, but there was also much consternation. Being stuck in a book, focused on studying, was so much simpler. But there is more to life than research.
Sigvruuf returned to his room. Despite the late hour, he spent some time studying the realms of Oblivion, which is something any Conjurer should spend time on. After spending some time studying, Sigvruuf retired, and sleep took him swiftly.
The next morning, Sigvruuf enjoyed a quick breakfast, and then headed to the Hall of the Elements. He practiced with both Collette, further improving the new ward spell. While in the Hall, he noticed Ancano examining the Eye, with his usual haughty and suspicious manner. He also practiced summoning on the roof for a bit, before returning to the Hall of Attainment for sustenance and some study material. He decided to go to the Arcanaeum and do some further study on the Realms of Oblivion. His Dwemer research had come to a bit of a dead end for the moment.
He entered the Hall, found some food, and returned to his room. He ate the fruit, cheese, and bread with ravenous hunger, all the while digging through his desk for some books he had borrowed from the Arcanaeum. Urag had a certain amount of trust in the young mage, but it would not due to test his patience. He turned away from his desk, and placed a half eaten apple down after taking a large bite, to see Riktla standing behind him.
"Good morning, or afternoon perhaps...your skin seems to have changed colors. Are you alright?"
"I'll be fine." Riktla sighed, and rubbed her face. "I was helping Brelyna test some spells."
"Someone should have warned you about that. And while we are on that subject, don't test any scrolls for J'zargo." Riktla glanced nervously at her satchel. "Something wrong?" asked Sigvruuf.
"Uh, no. This should wear off eventually. It also makes me see everything green..." Riktla sat down in a chair. "Do you need any help with anything?"
"Do you just go around asking people that?"
"I like to stay busy, and I need to make a living some way." She looked down at her armored boots, and rubbed them on the floor. "If your busy adventuring, you think less about...your past."
Sigvruuf paused for a moment, and stacked up some books on his desk. "I don't think I have anything you could help me with. Well, there is one thing, but it is rather dangerous, and I couldn't ask someone to do it."
"You wouldn't ask someone to hand you book. Just tell me what you need."
"Well, I need some Dwemer automaton parts, gyros, gears, soul gems, oil...and one more thing...a Centurion dynamo core."
"That is a lot. But, if I find those things, I'll give them to you."
"I will pay you, probably not in gold, but magical artifacts, maybe even a new spell."
"Hopefully one that works better than Brelyna."
"I will test it thoroughly before giving it to anyone." Sigvruuf picked up the books, and walked towards the entrance to his room. "I'm going to go study in the Arcanaeum. After that, I have a sparring lesson."
"I'm going to go take a nap until this spell wares off." Riktla stood up, and followed Sigvruuf out. "Where are you sparring?"
"Ruined building near the end of the bridge. I traded lessons for enchanted weapons with one of the guards."
"Interesting choice. I may join you." Riktla headed towards her room. The Arcanaeum was empty, except for Urag of course. The Orc was pleased that his books were returned unharmed and in good time. Sigvruuf then collected several more books, and sat down, delving deep, occasionally making notes and sketches on some blank paper he had brought along.
"Make sure you don't spill ink on those tomes. Most of them are one of a kind. The only books more valuable are the legendary Black Books of Hermaeus Mora."
"Of course Master Urag. I will be as careful as humanly possible."
"You had better. You're about the only apprentice I would let touch some of those books." The Orc sat down and returned to his own reading. Sigvruuf did not hear the door open, or the chair slide across the floor, but when he looked up, an Altmer was sitting across from him.
"Eldana! Do all elves move so quietly?"
"Hardly, but the graceful Altmer do. A herd of...Falmer could have traipsed in here, and you would not have noticed."
"Apprentice Eldana...you were about to say Orcs." Urag looked up from his book.
"Well...yes, I was."
"No matter. That does not offend me, but spill ink on any of those books, and they will never find you in the realm of Nirn again."
"Of course, Master Urag." Eldana turned back to Sigvruuf, who had an amused look on his face. She shook her head.
"I actually wanted to talk to you." Sigvruuf put his ink and quill away. "If you were wondering, there is nothing romantic occurring between me and Riktla. She just needed someone to talk to."
"I was actually going to find you, and tell you that of something romantic was occurring between the two of you, I was not concerned about it."
"Now that we have gotten that out of the way, there is something else."
"Do you need more translating help?"
"No. It has to do with Riktla. She said I could let you know. She is Dragonborn."
"Oh? What does that mean?" Sigvruuf just looked at the elf and sighed. "I was trying to be humorous. I have heard of the Dragonborn before. So, the dragons have returned, and so have their slayers..."
