Remember My Name

Randy paced the living room, trying to think of the most suave way to barge back into Lily's bedroom and apologize for his blatant show of disrespect. They had both said some pretty shitty things to each other and, while he knew they couldn't change what had happened, he had spent the last twenty minutes hoping that could get over it.

They had to get past this. He just couldn't bear the thought of losing her.

Before he could figure out how to approach her, she descended the stairs wrapped in a fluffy terry-cloth robe. Her hazel eyes were red and swollen after the tears she had shed. "You're still here," she said, her voice flat.

"We need to talk," Randy sighed, running his hand over his hair as she brushed past him on the way to the kitchen.

"Oh, I think you said enough," Lily shot back, tightening the belt around her waist before setting about making herbal tea on the top of the stove.

Randy dropped to one of the bar stools at the island in the center of the room. "Okay, I admit I said some stupid shit. Some really stupid bull shit," he apologized. "You shot me down, and I was embarrassed, so I lashed out. It was wrong, I know," he stopped, shaking his head. "I was really fucking stupid, Lily."

She nodded in agreement, but one look into his pitiful blue eyes broke her cool exterior more than she wanted to admit. "Maybe I should have explained the not-so-great side of my job before. Given you a head's up." She leaned against the counter and shrugged. "I didn't want to scare you off, I guess."

Convinced that she wasn't going to bite his head off, he rested his forearms on the counter and folded his hands together. "Do I like that you're a porn star? Hell, yeah, I do," he said honestly. "But it's intimidating, ya know? I mean, you've done shit I've never even fuckin' heard of, Lily. I like to think that I'm pretty damn experienced, but next to you? I'm like a Star Wars-lovin' virgin."

She smiled slightly as the tea kettle hissed behind her. Without words, she prepared two mugs and slid one toward him on the counter, cradling hers close to her chest. "I don't know what I have ever done to give you the impression that I belong on the pedestal you have put me on, but I'm not a goddess, Randy."

He huffed and took a drink, his body tired from the torrent of emotions that had been running through it all day. "Are you kidding? Have you seen your work?" he asked, finally lifting his tea to his lips.

"No," she answered, causing him to raise an eyebrow. "Honestly? I would rather lay my face on that hot burner than watch myself in those movies. At least you can say that the women you've been with have been by your choice. That you were at least moderately attracted to them."

He hadn't really given much thought to the other side of her job. In all honestly, he had never even considered that she wouldn't enjoy what she did for a living. Since he had first realized his father's porn stash at the age of thirteen, he had imagined that it had to be the best job in the world. Wasn't it everyone's goal to find something that they really loved and turn it into a career?

"So what does all that mean for us, Lily?" he asked.

She took another sip of her tea and shrugged. She could unburden her soul, tell him how badly she wished she could score a real acting job and get out of the industry all together. But something was holding her back. No matter the consequences, she had chosen this life and all of the complaining in the world wasn't going to change that.

"I guess that depends on whether or not you think you can be with me, even if I don't live up to what you thought I was," she answered as honestly as she could.

Randy watched her for a moment, thinking about her question, still a little rattled by the fact that this night hadn't gone as he had hoped. "I can, but look, Lily," he sighed, standing moving to her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "You can't blame me for wanting to do crazy kinky shit to you. You're the sexiest woman I've ever met."

She smiled slightly and looked into his shining eyes. "It's not like I'm religiously opposed to kinky shit," she winked. "I mean, I've got a whole playbook you've never even seen, Orton."

His pulse raced at the mere suggestion in her voice. "Oh yeah?" She shrieked and giggled when he lifted her into his arms and started for the stairs. "Prove it."