That with music loud and long,
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome! those caves of ice!
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware! Beware!
His flashing eyes, his floating hair!
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.
"The use of the term "fall" implies that the process is in some way uncontrollable and risky - as in the phrases "to fall ill" or "to fall into a trap" - and that it leaves the lover in a state of vulnerability.
It may also reflect the importance of the lower brain centers in the process, which can lead the rational, accounting brain to conclude that "this falling in love routine is very bizarre...It borders on the occult"." So said Wikipedia.
Vulnerability…to be vulnerable. Loki looked at it and he felt somewhat trepidatious, but not so as he had heretofore.
Was he in love? Mmmm…not quite yet, he thought. But he was teetering on the precipice of the state, swaying and grasping for purchase.
He heard the knock. He should just give her a key.
Jane was standing on the other side of the door, and she was smiling. No, she was positively beaming.
"Guess what?" she asked, entering his apartment.
"What?" and he closed the door, following her to the sofa.
"I got an A!" and she showed him the paper.
He took it from her and he smiled. 98%.
Hang on. 98?
"Why is this a 98? What happened?"
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
"I take this as a personal assault on my abilities, Jane…98? I'm a fucking doctoral student," and he paged through the paper.
Jane looked at him, and shook her head. "You're no less brilliant because of a two percentage point discrepancy. Maybe it was me…"
"Are you kidding me?" he looked at the notes the prof had made. "Look at this. "Show a better connection between this source and your conclusion," he can't even leave grammatically sound comments, and he gives you a 98."
"Loki…"
He stood. "What an ass hat. Truly, how does he expect to be given a modicum of respect when he writes that sort of idiotic rubbish as comments?"
Jane smiled.
"He's up for tenure, you know. I can see to that, plant a seed of doubt in the committee…"
"Loki! Don't you dare!"
"What. You yourself said that he lacked ability in his teaching."
"I did…but do you think that you're overreacting a touch because you are taking this personally?"
He shifted and smiled, sitting next to her. "No."
"No? Then maybe you think that your girlfriend always deserves 100%?"
"That, dear," and he kissed her neck. "Is more likely the case…however, I believe I need to see to certain areas before a true 100% can be bestowed."
"What areas?" she breathed, her eyes closing.
"Mmmm…just one or two…we should start lessons immediately."
And she grabbed his face and kissed him.
But Loki pulled away and took her hands in his. "Jane, I wanted to ask you a couple of things…"
"Ok."
He swallowed. "Well, you'll be graduating on Sunday."
"Heh, yeah, I know…"
"Yes. And I was going to travel to England the week following, visit my mother and such…Thor will be going. I believe he is bringing Sif."
"Oh?" and Jane smiled. "Are they finally together?"
"It would appear so…at any rate, I thought that perhaps you'd like to come with me…" he looked at her uncertainly.
"Um…I'd love to, Loki. But I can't really afford the flight."
"I'll pay. It's my idea."
Jane took a deep breath. It was just a little unsettling that her boyfriend of less than two weeks was about to spend well over $1,000 on her. And she would be meeting his mother. Her gaze fell.
And his heart fell with it.
She didn't want to go.
And love's cry of caution did sound in their ears…
"Jane…look at me."
She did.
"What are your concerns?"
"Well…" she sat back into the sofa. "I'm kinda poor…I don't want you to be paying for me all the time…and…I guess I'm nervous about meeting your mother."
"Are you afraid of some silly archaic notion of being a kept woman?"
Her eyes flashed for a second. "No. But it does make things awkward, wouldn't you say?"
He cleared his throat and ran his hands through his hair; he leaned forward and covered his face in his hands. A slow hiss of breath was to be heard emitting from between his fingers. "I'm not asking you to marry me, Jane."
"I know."
"Good," he said, standing up. "Now, would you like to come with me, and let's just ignore the monetary concern for a moment."
"I…" she thought a moment. Yeah…she wanted to go. "Yes, I would like to go."
He smiled and walked into the kitchen. "Then, dearest, you shall go. And I promise not to pay for anything untoward henceforth."
Jane shook her head. Well, she had voiced her concern. She thought that it went rather well.
He gave her a glass of wine.
"Loki. It's two o'clock in the afternoon!"
"And you, Jane Foster, are graduating on Sunday with your B.S. form Harvard. You received an "A" you were convinced you'd never receive, and you are MIT bound. It's a celebration."
She smiled. "I guess so. My 4.0 remains unscathed," and she sipped.
"And your vocabulary is developing nicely."
She laughed. "Must be the company I keep."
"So…ah…Jane…" and he paused. He thought about the mistakes he had made with Sigyn, and hoped against hope that he wasn't about to make yet another. But love, though unwelcome just yet, with his mad visage, his eyes burning, sweating, pulsing his insistence, bade Loki on. "I had been thinking…"
Uh-oh. "Yeah?"
"Yes…about your PhD program at MIT…"
What was he gonna say. Don't go? Because she would walk out the door that instant. "Yes?"
"I was thinking that things might be easier on us both, seeing as how I am writing a dissertation, and teaching, and you will be fully immersed in your science, composing a dissertation as well…that perhaps come fall, we can share an apartment…ease the worry of, you know, spending time together…and well, daily activities can be then shared."
He looked uneasily at her.
Jane swallowed. "You want to move in together?"
He nodded. But quickly added, "If you want to think about it, that's completely understandable. I just thought that you might want to…I thought that it might be easier."
Wow. He moved fast. "You certainly know what you want, don't you?"
"I do, though it doesn't always coalesce with others' desires."
"Um," she replied. She downed the glass. "Can we think about it? Maybe while we're in England, we can talk some more…and decide when we get back."
Loki nodded. "Of course."
He sat back and took her hand, tracing circles in her palm.
She then laid her head in his lap, and smiled up at him. "What will you be teaching this fall? Did you get your assignments?"
His fingers left her palm, and went to her face…along her jawline. "I did…the email came this morning."
"And?"
Down her neck, slowly they graced. "And I'll be teaching 19th century poetry, and a freshman comp class."
"Wow. That's awesome."
Down to her chest…there was a bit of exposed skin…her buttons weren't all the way done up. "It is rather exciting, to be able to flex that muscle in the classroom."
He breath began to deepen. "Yeah…flexing of muscles…can be quite…invigorating," she closed her eyes and swallowed.
His hand slipped under her bra and he teased her nipple erect.
Jane squirmed and sighed…she sat up and took off her shirt and bra…Loki watched her raptly.
Off went her jeans.
And she climbed on top of him, undoing his shirt.
She ran her hands over his chest, pressing her palms with stress…
"Loki," she whispered, leaning down to kiss him.
His fingers traced near her sex, and finding it, inserted his forefinger inside of her…
Jane cried softly, and pushed against it.
"Yes, Jane?" he kissed her neck…down to her breast, took her nipple in his mouth.
"What am I gonna do with you?" and she rocked.
He retrieved his digit and settled her into the sofa, taking off his pants.
He reached for the table behind them, and obtained a condom…
"No…" Jane said. "I trust you…I want to feel you…" and she took his hand.
"Not a good idea, dearest. The pill is only 99% effective…and we just had a conversation about the discrepancy of a mere percentage point or two…"
"But we were tested last week…no VD's. I won't get pregnant…just off my period.." and she threw the condom across the floor.
He watched it fly, and looked back at her. "Jane, I must insist…"
"Do you have these things everywhere, by the way? Where was that hidden?"
"One never knows when such a thing will be necessary," and he smirked at her, but it quickly fell.
He had, repeatedly, thought about making love to Jane sans a condom. It was what drove his masturbation reverie since they consummated…
But, he wouldn't know what to do if she ended up pregnant…they were both engaged in very rigorous academic demands. He wouldn't give up his, nor would he ever expect her to abandon hers.
Her face was pleading…arms reaching…breath heaving…
"Jane, I…"
"Come on, Loki. Pull out if it'll make you feel better."
He swallowed.
God help him.
He nodded.
He leaned so that his elbows were on either side of her, and he kissed her softly.
Jane rubbed his back…down her hands went…until she had his ass in her grasp.
She pushed him toward her, and he slid inside…
And the gasp they emitted in tandem was a violent hush, for everything stilled in that mid afternoon, as though night herself had descended…
His sex was an intense pulse, his urgency apparent in the adamantine firmness…and Jane quaked at his entry.
And he felt her soft warm embrace, slick with want; she stirred at his entry, a prism of primal need rippling through them both, though neither had moved since the initial action of ingress.
He breathed hard, swallowing and shaking a bit.
Jane felt as though she was a single heartbeat, rising up from her core and tearing her to pieces, whilst simultaneously threading herself back together again.
Loki moved.
And her muscles swore.
He felt the tone inside hum, and he moved again…
Jane cried out…"Loki…" she sobbed.
He stopped, pulled up to look at her. "Are you alright?" he hadn't forgotten himself completely, though he hung by a thread.
"My god…" and she writhed about beneath him.
"Jane?"
"Don't stop…please…" and her legs wrapped tightly around him, the heels of her feet on his ass, pushing him further inside of her.
That was all that he required.
His thrust was fierce, and again and again…he was lost inside of her…and with every push she cried, until he felt her intimately surround his sex with her fluid…and he came hard…and moaned loudly…a sound of heaven reverberating against the caves of ice…
"Oh my god," he stopped and pulled himself out of her. "I forgot…I was supposed to pull out…" He sat quickly away from her. "Jane, Jane…I'm sorry," his face buried in his hands.
"It was me, Loki," she sat up and touched his arm. "I won't get pregnant, I promise…" she took his chin and made him look at her. "I promise, alright?"
"How can you promise such a thing?"
"Because. I just can," and she kissed him.
He laughed at her. "Alright. I suppose I have to trust you and your intuition, as they say."
"It was wonderful, though, wasn't it?" and she leaned her cheek on his shoulder.
"The stuff that dreams are made on," replied he. "Shakespeare."
"I know. Sheesh. I'm not that daft."
He sat back on the sofa, and took her with him, holding her close in the wrap of his arm. "Jane…you recall…when we first started this, you told me that you were in danger of falling?"
"Mmmm, yes," she traced his abdomen with her forefinger.
"I think that you've caught me first…"
She looked at him, and smiled. "Never doubt me, Loki. I know more than you realize."
"That, Miss Foster, is debatable."
And he kissed her soundly, filling on her sweet self…
For he on honey-dew hath fed, and drunk the milk of Paradise.
A/N: so...that be all. Thanks to everyone who enjoyed this detour with me and my slightly deranged Tutor!Loki reverie. I shall get back to "When Loki Met Jane" now...it needed sorting, so there it is. Thank you for reviewing, for following, and for favoriting!
