Thanks to Nausicaa of the Spirits, Random Little Writer, and Dawn Over The Valley for reviewing!
Disclaimer: see chapter one
Emily pulled a cell-phone out of her pocket.
"Who should we prank first?" she asked.
"I know! I know!" Jack Sparrow cried. "Let's prank that slimy worm Cutler Beckett!" He took the phone from Emily and dialed Beckett's phone number, but he remembered to dial star 67 before doing so. Jack put it on speaker phone. The phone rang two times before someone picked up.
"Hello?" Beckett answered.
"Yes, I'm calling to confirm your order of 700 zebras." Jack Sparrow said in a womanly voice.
"ZEBRAS?!" Beckett shrieked like a girly man. "I didn't order any zebras!"
"Well, the order form never lies." Jack replied. Beckett screamed like a little girl and he hung up the phone.
"Who's next?" Jack said in his normal voice.
"Let's call Captain Barbossa," Harry's Girl exclaimed. She dialed the number and Barbossa picked up the phone.
"Hello?" he said.
"Is Hector Barbossa there?" Harry's Girl said in a voice similar to the scary little girl's voice from The Ring.
"This is he." He replied.
"Seven days…" she whispered.
"OH MY GOD! I WATCHED THE ACCURSED VIDEO TAPE! I KNEW THAT I SHOULD'VE RENTED THE BARNEY MOVIE!" he screamed. "I'M GOING TO DIE!" Harry's Girl hung up and then tossed it to Nausicaa. She dialed someone's number.
In Barney World, the phone rang at Barney the purple dinosaur's house. He was in the middle of making his favorite sandwich: Ham between pumpernickel bread. (A/N: Don't ask me how I remember that. Blame my little cousins for watching Barney) He picked up the phone.
"Hello! This is Barney the dinosaur! Who is this?" He said and chuckled in his usual dorky voice.
Nausicaa put on a convincing Hannibal Lecter voice. "This is Hannibal Lecter." she said.
"Well, howdy-doo, Mr. Lecter! What'd you want to speak to me about?" He stupidly asked.
"I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me on Friday night. I'm having fava beans and a nice Chianti." She replied. She then made a lizard noise with her tongue, à la Hannibal Lecter. The last thing they heard was Barney screaming and then a loud BABOOM! sound, meaning he exploded.
Emily then got the phone. She dialed the number of her psycho substitute French teacher, Monsieur Bribois, who was stealing remote controls from absent teachers' desks and boring his pupils to death about things completely unrelated to France and the French language. (A/N: This person was inspired by a psycho substitute teacher in my second year of French while my regular French teacher was on maternity leave. He didn't stay very long because he got fired on account he bored us to death and no one participated.)
"Allo! Zees is Monsieur Bribois! Parlez to me!" He said in Franglais. (A/N: My French teacher's word for French and English mixed together.)
Emily then said, "The Kazakhstanis are repossessing your Pepto Bismol." In Greek.
"J'ai no idée what you are saying!" He screamed. She kept on saying random stuff in different languages until M. Bribois ran out of the class room screaming like a soprano being kicked really hard.
She tossed the phone to Victoria, who called her old music teacher, Mrs. Thodee, a cranky, old lady with brillo-pad hair, scary sweaters, and pants pulled up to her stomach. (A/N: Yet again, this person is inspired by one of my old substitute teachers.) She answered the phone.
"Hello?" she crankily answered.
"Hey, baby." Victoria said in an Issac Hayes voice. "This is the guy across the street. I was wondering if you have any pigs' feet."
"Yes, I do." The cranky woman replied.
"Oh," Victoria replied. "Because I was wondering how you can fit in regular shoes." She hung up and laughed in her regular voice.
"It's your turn, Jack!" she said as she handed the phone to Jack Skellington. He dialed the number of a girl who had a severe pickle phobia.
The girl with the irrational fear picked up the phone and answered.
"Hello?" she answered nervously.
"Hey Lexi," Jack whispered creepily. "It's a pickle calling."
The girl screamed and accidentally tossed her phone into the toilet out of fear.
The random group kept on calling unsuspecting people. Nausicaa got bored standing around listening to their phone conversations, so she went into a field of flowers to frolic about. She picked some daffodils and lilies and made a bouquet. She then spotted a flower not native to North America, Thinking nothing of it, she picked it and sniffed it. The flower then knocked her out with sleeping gas.
Cliffy! What will happen to Nausicaa of the Spirits? Find out in the next chapter! Review and I'll send out caramel apple empanadas, Dr. Pepper and gummy bears. Happy Reviewing!
-Harry's Girl 01031992
