Well, I hope some of you are still with me. I know it's been a while – I myself had to do a reread. But I woke up with the motivation, and what should have taken an hour or two has taken me all damn day. I hope you enjoy.
Kate slips out early the next morning, the sun barely risen as she sets off down the beach. Storms are rolling in; she can feel it, even smell it in the air, the thick breeze full of salt and rain, and she keeps her eyes on the wall of dark grey clouds slowly bumbling in from the south as she begins the long trek to her destination.
Miles down the beach lives the wall of trees where Lana had discovered Rick's phone, but she doesn't think about what she may, or, more likely, may not, find there. She breathes in the heavy air, feels the moisture crushing down around her, and imagines for a moment that everything is normal.
They're squeezing in an early morning stroll before the storm traps them inside for the rest of the day, a pouch for shells tied to his belt loop click-clacking with each step. Lightning strikes out in the distance, a sharp contrast to the ominous shadows cast by the clouds, but they're okay for now.
The gulls call to each other above, taking turns diving into the water in search of breakfast. Rick stands beside her, hand wrapped firmly around hers as he points at two birds that could be racing. He's given them each a name, narrating their descent like a horse race, placing his bets. When Clarence, his bird of choice, reins victorious, he plants a sloppy kiss on her cheek in celebration.
With the ghostly feel of his lips on her skin, she doesn't even care how gross it would be.
Further up the beach he spots two crabs in a standoff, tugging her back to watch them scuttle back and forth, snapping at each other. She makes a joke about them in the early days, how one crab seems more weary of the other, and watches his lips curl into a smirk as he remembers.
When claps of thunder in succession breaks up the squawking of the birds, leaving the morning suddenly silent, he looks worried. He opens his mouth to suggest they turn back, but nothing comes out. She reaches for her face, the concern mounting, but he disappears with the next clap of thunder.
She knows she has to hurry, and not just because of the impending downpour.
She finds the spot she's looking for with ease, having been vaguely familiar with what Jillian had described to her. She paces the length of the beach along the trees, searching for more clues that Rick had been here, but of course there's nothing to find. She hadn't expected there to be, doesn't know what she'd imagined she might find, but once again, she'd allowed herself to hope. Hope for a footprint, signs of a struggle, a sign of any sort.
How had the phone ended up here? The trees are thick at the edge, branches crisscrossing with neighbors. She runs her hand along the leaves, noting how unlikely it is that he would have come through them. As she continues the path, though, she finds a hole in the greenery, branches broken and hanging. It leaves plenty of space for her to squeeze through, and she can see how the trees begin to thin out with each row.
When she comes through the other side, just as the rain begins, she realizes she's not that far off from where they'd found Castle's car. She climbs up the embankment, crosses the bridge, and there it is – the place where, just days ago, she'd felt the better part of herself wither away. Had he run this way? He must've.
She calls for Esposito to come pick her up, fleshing out the theory she has to share as she waits. At first, they'd thought that Castle had ended up in the SUV, but a lack of fingerprints and DNA indicates otherwise. The driver may've been careful, but there's no way Castle wouldn't have touched whatever he could to ensure his presence was obvious.
Whether he'd thought the accident was truly an accident or had known someone was after him, he'd probably known that the beach his house was on was just across the road, and headed through the trees towards it. When he'd realized somebody was after him, he must've left the recording and ditched his phone, hoping someone would come across it.
Esposito isn't convinced when she relays the theory to him. "Why didn't anyone see him on the beach? It would've been busy."
"Maybe they did, and didn't realize anything was wrong. Tyson wouldn't make a scene. Or maybe they dragged him back to the road, instead, and put him in another car. We should review the footage again for any other suspicious vehicles, and we should see if any of the shops and homes on either edge of the woods have security cameras facing this stretch of the beach."
"I'll get unis to canvas the buildings over here, and I'll send the highway footage to Tori. A fresh set of eyes will be good."
"Thanks, Espo." She climbs into the passenger side of his cruiser, shivering slightly as the air conditioning comes to life against her damp skin. She settles back, listening to the pattern of the rain against the roof on the short drive to the police department. She's able to calm the thoughts racing through her head as, eyes closed, she pictures the drive of water against the windshield, and by the time they arrive she has a new-found optimism for the day.
"Any updates?" she asks Ryan, who's spread out all across a desk like he's already been there for hours.
"As a matter of fact, there are. The manager of the dealership called us first thing today. Turns out that girl had come in earlier this week trying to test drive a car, but they sent her away without a parent present. Nobody had paid much attention to her with her father, but the woman who turned her away is with a sketch artist as we speak, and the manager is seeing if he can get clear footage of her from that day."
"Connecticut State Police have also finished pulling what they can on the car's path. It looks like he tried to lose the cameras' eyes. He left Milford and got on the Merritt Parkway headed towards the city, which doesn't have any coverage. They caught him coming back towards Milford on 95. He got off in Bridgeport, and took the ferry across the sound to Port Jeff. Detectives are sifting through the Connecticut footage for a good shot of the driver and New York troopers are working on following him from Port Jeff to the Hamptons."
"Finally, some progress."
"Looks to be, Boss. We're gonna get him."
"Detectives," Captain Gates interrupts, setting a briefcase at her feet. "I, unfortunately, have to return to the 12th. I will continue to do what I can to support you out here. Detective Ryan, you and Detective Esposito may stay here as long as the investigation is progressing. You can thank the mayor for that. But, if leads dry up, you will have to return home." She sighs, lifting her briefcase again.
"Detective Beckett. You should take some time," Gates says. "I know you don't want to. I know you won't. But you have the time you need." With her offer out on the table, she nods to both of her detectives and turns to leave. She pauses, one more thought that needs to make its way out. "Kate, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. You're much stronger than I would be if I were in your position. Please take care of yourself, for all of our sakes."
Kate chews on her words for a moment before responding. "I don't see things like I used to," she admits with a grimace. "It all used to be so black and white to me. There were no in-betweens, or accentuations, or… God, colors. It was all so cut and dry, until Rick taught me a new way to look at the world. Now there are all these what-ifs, and I won't be able to focus on me until they're resolved. Not until we know something. I'll be okay, though. Thank you for caring, Sir."
"I never knew a you before Castle, Kate. But I know you were always the best, even without him. There's no one more equipped to solve this than you and your team, but if you take things too far… if you cut corners and make snap judgement and poor choices? You know I'll cut you off. I've done it before, Kate, and much as I want this solved, I won't have you risking yourself. Be smart about this. And bring Mr. Castle home."
"Understood, Sir." But she makes no promises to her Captain, just nods as she turns to leave.
"Huh. It's almost like she cares," Ryan mutters, staring after as the woman makes her exit. "But she's right, Beckett. She'll lock your ass in holding before she watches you fall back into a hole."
"Right now, there is no hole. We have a potential suspect. A suspect for certain, if my suspicions prove true. And we have no reason to believe that Castle is dead yet. I'm not chasing any ghosts here, Ryan. Some moments my head feels underwater, but there's no hole sucking me down. Not yet, anyway."
But when she returns home late that evening, state troopers having lost the SUV for a good two and a half hours between the time it left the ferry in Port Jeff and appeared briefly on Hampton's cameras, the optimism of the morning has been thoroughly drained. When the one camera on the stretch of beach she needed turned up clean, showing nothing more than families playing volleyball, teenagers sunning on beach blankets, and a small truck grooming the sand, she'd been counting on the SUV leading them somewhere.
She's surprised to find Alexis still awake, sitting at the kitchen island with a glass of water untouched before her. "What are you still doing up?" Kate asks, accepting the glass when Alexis pushes it towards her.
"It's hard to sleep with the house feeling so empty. And a reporter dropped by today, practically ambushed me in my own backyard, so I'm still kind of wired."
"Oh no. Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I told him to fuck off." Alexis allows herself to laugh. "I think Dad'll get a kick out of that. When I was little, right after Storm took off, he was carrying me down the street, on his hip. A couple of cameras were following us and he whispered in my ear, giving me my cure, and I pulled myself up as high as I could, reaching over his shoulder, and yelled, 'Fuck off!' right in front of them. And a little old lady, who was absolutely not amused. He couldn't control his laughter to save his life. If you search hard enough, you can still fill find the clip online. And I'm sure he's saved it somewhere, too.
"I just can't believe the nerve of her. It was early, probably not long after you'd left, and she just let herself in through the gate, snuck up behind me while I was sitting with my feet in the pool. Who does that?"
Kate laughs, leaving Alexis confused. She gets up to refill the water glass, and pours another for Alexis. "Say that again, Alexis. Who lets themselves in where they're not welcome? Somebody who wants the story."
"My dad?"
"Yeah. Your dad is famous for that alone. Our very first case, he put his nose where it didn't belong, trying to get my story. And in the end, he distracted me with a freshly printed, signed edition of the final Storm book, and he stole my case files."
"That's why we had to bail him out that day," Alexis realizes. "He'd never say what he'd done."
"All he did was talk about himself. I can't believe he wasn't bragging as you left."
"Probably just didn't want to make you look bad." Alexis smirks, standing from her stool. "Are you still okay with me sleeping in your room?" The smirk falls, replaced with concern as she asks the question, as if Kate would ever deny that request.
"Of course, Alexis. C'mon."
The two separate only to change. They wash their faces and brush their teeth in silence, and with each moment that passes Kate feels herself slump a little more. She stays in the bathroom even after she's done, closing the door behind Alexis as she leaves and allowing herself a few minutes to just… do nothing. She braces herself against the counter, tries to keep her breathing steady, but doesn't fight the tears as they come.
She only cries for a few moments, too tired to hold herself up and continue to fight with her breaths. She knocks the backs of her hands against her cheeks to dry them as the sobs stop, wiping her eyes on a hand towel as she opens the door and shuts off the light.
When she crawls into the bed, Alexis grabs for her hand, squeezing it tightly. "You don't have to do it alone," she whispers, and the stuffy quality of her voice tells Kate that she was crying, too.
"Neither do you," Kate promises, squeezing back. She lays still, listening as Alexis' breathing steadies and the girl falls asleep. She watches the shadows of the branches from outside the window dance in the corner of the room, the darkness pulsing between black and grey with each scrape against the window.
She doesn't feel much hope for the morning, but when she remembers all that they did discover today, after feeling much the same the night before, she's able to relax enough to fall asleep.
I come to the river
Heavy and tired to the bone
I lay down beside her
Grave as a slowly sinking stone
I see clear to the bottom, I watch how the shadows play
I've seen the water falling, I've seen the colors bleed away
-To the River
Down Like Silver
