Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers.
The following songs were used in this chapter:
Illegal Aliens by Genesis (1983)
KRS One by Sound of Da Police (1993)
Spice up your life by Spice Girls (1997)
How do I live without you by Leann Rimes (1997)
Pretty fly for a white guy by The Offspring (1998)
I don't want to miss a thing by Aerosmith (1998)
Gettin' jiggy wit it by Will Smith (1998)
Lillian is twenty in this chapter.
~0~
I have only ever had three jobs in two places. My first lasted a year in a comic shop. Given that comics weren't exactly the 'hit thing' in Nevada at the time, however...it closed down. My second job was as a dishwasher at a restaurant. It wasn't as bad as you would think...Unless, of course, you included my co-workers into the equation...
"Hey, Wescott."
"What is it? I'm working."
"You ever done the deed?"
I put a dish in the drying rack before grabbing a knife to wash. "I'm afraid I don't follow."
"You know...the dirty?"
I'm cleaning the dirty dishes...Does that count? Probably not. "No. Go back to work."
"Someone's testy," Ethan joked.
I'm only testy because you're interfering with my work pace. I need this job. Your only doing it for the experience and because it's something to put on your resume for colleges to look at.
"Come on, Wescott. Let me help you relax a little. I bet you could clean it pretty good, if you know what I mean."
I pointed the knife casually in Kyle's direction. "The only thing that I will be cleaning are these dishes. Now go back to your post and work."
He backed up with his hands in the air. "Okay, okay. Sheesh. A guy tries to help a girl out, and he gets smashed."
"What's that about?"
"Beats me."
"Chicks are crazy. Don't let it get you down."
Crazy...Humph. A sane person doesn't engage in extracurricular activities in a public setting. I placed the knife in a container. Besides, it wasn't like I was actually going to use the knife on the kid. He's harmless.
"Kyle harassing you?" Mel asked from the threshold. I turned to her. It would be rude to avoid the person who hired me.
"Not at all. He just wanted to talk."
"Regardless, he should be out there serving tables instead of procrastinating back here. If he keeps coming back here during his shift I'm going to have to switch your positions."
"Me...as a waitress?"
"Is that a problem? You certainly seem focused enough...or would the change of pace be too much to handle?"
"No, not at all. I believe...I could handle the change well."
She smiled. "Well, good. Come back tonight after the rush hour." Rush hour...in Nevada? That exists? "I'll teach you the system then. For now...how about you take the rest of the day off? You've been working hard lately and we've only got two people in the restaurant."
I suddenly felt very awkward. Can I really leave before the end of my shift? Even if it's an order from my superior... "Can I...finish the load I have first?" It didn't feel right to leave it half done for someone else to finish when it was my work to begin with.
She waved her hand nonchalantly. "I'll get someone else to take care of it. Go on home and relax." I nodded slowly and took off my gear. Before I passed Mel, she handed me an envelop. "Here. It's your paycheck for the week."
I blinked. My paycheck...at the beginning of the week? "Thank you."
Her eyes twinkled. "Your welcome. Now go buy yourself something nice. As a waitress here, you have the choice between black pants or a skirt. The blouse doesn't matter as long as it's appropriate."
I did as told...and got enough food for one week before bringing it to my two story, shack of a house. I put the second weeks worth of food money in a shoe box in the bottom of my dresser to save for the month's water bill. I emptied the contents of the envelop on my bed.
Besides the left over cash and change, there was a slip of paper I hadn't noticed before. I blinked, unfolded it, and read the note from my boss...and continued to re-read the note...twice. I put it next to me on the bed, a little transfixed on the carpet. Paycheck at the beginning of the week...wearing something besides the uniform...having the week off after tonight...am I reading too much into this or...? I shook my head. I must be. There's no way. The clothing is just to...ensure that the actual uniform doesn't...get dirty tonight...But there's...plenty of time to wash a pair of clothes in a week, so...I stood up to fold the uniform on my dresser next to the boombox...slowly. I...I like my boss, but...I don't...like her. If she really is doing this for the reasons I think she is...Obviously, I won't get fired for being bisexual...or gay, if that's what she thinks...But I'm...What if...? I'm not...what she thinks...If it was a co-worker, I wouldn't have a problem pushing them away...But this isn't a coworker. It's my boss. I can't lose this job. I'll have nothing if I don't have this job. So...if she...My left hand came down on the boombox like a hammer. "Damn it."
:When your feeling sad and lone
We will take you where you gotta go
Smiling and dancing
Everything is free
All you need is positivity
Colours of the world
Spice up your life
Every boy and girl
People of the world
Slam it to the left
If you're having a good time
Shake it to the right
If you know that you feel fine
Chicas to the front
Slam it to the left-:
I pushed my boombox to the left so it fell on the ground. The music paused before continuing. I glared at the boombox before kicking it. "Don't you ever shut up?"
"I may if you stop the abuse."
I froze before slowly walking over to the fallen boombox. I held it in my hands as I observed it. "If my uncle bought a possessed boombox, I'm suing the previous owner for neglience." I shook my head. "Maybe I need a shrink."
"I would suggest the army-" I yelped and dropped the possessed red piece of metal on the carpet. "Ow! Not cool!"
"Your the one who-!" I leanned against the dresser when the boombox suddenly started moving on its own...and grew in size until it almost touched my ceiling. "Talked," I whispered.
The...robot...thing...leanned down so I could see its smirk. "Cat got your tongue now that mine is free?"
:Everything is free
All you need is positivity:
My mouth worked like a fish until the metaphorical cat let go of my tongue. "H-How-?"
"Even with the change, I never thought I'd have to explain the foreign exchange."
:I got a cousin and she got a friend
Who thought that her aunt knew a man who could help
At his apartment I knocked on the door
He wouldn't come out until he got paid
Now don't tell anybody what I wanna do
If they find out you know that they'll never let me through
'Coz it's no fun being an illegal alien
Down at the office had to fill out the forms
A pink one, a red one, the colors you choose
Consideration for your fellow man
Would not hurt anybody, it sure fits in with my plan
Over the border, there lies the promised land
Where everything comes easy, just hold out your hand
Keep your suspicions, I've seen that look before
But I ain't done nothing wrong now, is that such a surprise
It's not fun being an illegal alien, and that's what I am
I mean it when I tell ya that
I am an illegal alien
An illegal alien, okay?:
"So there was no...?" I swirled my hand in a circle as though to tell myself to 'get on with it'. "C-Chemical re-reaction? Displaced excess ch-charge from power lines? Purposely placed A.I. chip like in that J Decker show the Japanese created?"
He chuckled. "Nope. No A.I. I'm living metal with a spark, something which is impossible to recreate except through my species. If you want to get specific, I am a autonomous robotic organism from the planet Cybertron...I probably don't have to tell you that my planet is also living metal." I shook my head. "Any questions?"
I took a deep breath, convincing myself that this was an army project gone wrong and that Mark had mistakenly taken it...him...home. "Yeah." I waved my hand as though to showcase his size. "How are you not falling through the floor right now?"
He smiled. "My weight is the same in any mode I choose. I wasn't falling through the floor when I was on your dresser, was I?"
"Well, no, but...How exactly do you go from...this to..." I placed my hands in front of me to represent his size as a boombox. "That? Doesn't it sort of defy the laws of physics?" He chuckled. "What?"
He smirked. "You do realize that you're asking an alien about human physics?"
"Okay, mister alien-"
"Blaster."
I stared at him. "Blaster...How would you describe it?"
"It's actually not that difficult...you just have to know where to place and hide all your parts." He winked. "Quite handy in some circumstances." I hummed, unamused. "Our idea of physics and scientific discoveries would take days to explain in detail. If you really want an explanation, I can take you to Ratchet. If he's busy, we could give Prowl a spin-"
I held up my hand. "If I was a scientist, I would attempt to lock you up and record the evidence before broadcasting it to the media. If I was a poor scumbag with a camera, I would follow you to your headquarters and do the same thing." I leanned against the dresser. "However, I have no interest in what the media thinks. Besides, I like my privacy and lifestyle. It's quiet here. If I squeal, I'll be hounded by the whole damn town...plus outsiders...plus the crazy people out there who would probably attempt to do something crazy to me to get attention." I shook my head. "Either way, not good...Do you even have a headquarters? I mean, aliens usually do in science fiction comics, but this is reality, so it may not apply...Then again, if the laws of physics don't apply to you..."
"Oh, they apply. We just find a way to slip by. It's like a human skydiving. If you can cheat gravity, it's not a feat for us." I nodded. "And having a secret meeting place or homebase is a universal concept." He smiled. "I can take you to meet the others Saturday if you want."
"Oh, I don't want to intrude on intergalactic soil-"
"It's government soil, so there's no need to recoil-"
"Government?"
"Yup. No one's dug us up yet...except for a few civilians, but that's minor-"
"They haven't...I mean, even if they did, I bet you couldn't say anything, but...They haven't hurt you guys, right?" I respect Mark's discission to go into the army...but if he started messing around with aliens...and didn't bother to say anything regarding bringing one home...I really, really don't want to end up under this things heel...or dissected on a lab table at their HQ.
"Nope. Been really cozy with 'em so far."
"And...the government has just...let you stay?"
"Well, we have freedom to leave the States so long as we follow the classified Human-Autobot protection act."
"And you signed this...agreement?"
"Our leader, Optimus Prime, did. It's us by extention. 'Course, the mech had to. We ain't looking for attention."
"Then you're here for...?"
"A war that's over a million years old by your standar-" My eyes went wide. "Hey, don't look at me like I'm some pander. A million ain't nothing to us. If you want to talk progress-"
I held up my hands. "Wait a minute..." I closed my eyes while making a crazy symbol next to my head. "A million...alien time...longer...war...leader...government...agreem ent..." I nodded before looking up at Blaster. "Okay, so you're a, from the looks of things, advanced robot organism from another planet." He nodded. "And, if I remember correctly, my uncle gave you to me for Christmas when I was eleven." Another nod. "So you've been watching me, in my room, for...five years."
"If your asking if I'm a perve..." He smiled. "If I had the nerve to consider, you'd target me with gears. Do I have that right, or did I ask the wrong peers?"
:Kung fu fighting
Dancing queen
Tribal spaceman
And all that's inbetween:
I blinked. "Nope, that covers it." I looked around my room. "Of course I'd have to find something other than gears to throw at you." I looked up at him. "So, what's your weakness? Kryptonite? Fire? I'm liable for damages, of course, but I would prefer to know for my own protection."
"Well, wrenches usually work...if they're a yard or two long."
My eyebrows went skyhigh. "Um...I'd probably have to make a catapult first...You have wrenches...?"
"Ratchet does. Don't ask me where he gets them...I'd suspect the fuzz, but I have no basis."
I raised an eyebrow. "And this...'Ratchet'...is a...mechanic?"
"Medic."
"Your medic deals with the police? Is that...like...I don't know...drugs to your species or something?"
He laughed. "He wouldn't be throwing them if they were that important. Besides, Prowl is too by-the-book to deal anything, let alone drugs...or highgrade...although I'd bet you anything Ratchet has highgrade in his office somewhere..."
"Highgrade."
"Energon of a heavier compote. Highgrade is alcohol. Energon is energy-namely fuel for us."
"And...Prowl is...?"
He smirked. "You know that statue you keep on your nightstand?"
"Yeah..."
"That's him."
"...Say what?"
"Prowl is our second in command. He was originally part of the police force here, but since hardly any criminal activity takes place-"
"Hey. Hey!" I flailed. "Hold o-on and...back up! You mean to tell me that this...this..." I went over to the nightstand, opened the drawer, grabbed the sketchpad, and flipped to a random page. "This...is your second in command?"
"You mean the mech you've been fawning over...? Yup." He chuckled at my expression as I sat on the bed in shock. "Hey, easy there." I flinched as he brushed a...finger...against my arm. "You don't have to be ashamed. Courting, love, intercourse, bonding...it's not a different concept to us."
"Explain."
"Well...Courting is dating. Intercourse is sex. Bonding is marriage. Love is...love." He shrugged. "Ain't that different across the boarder." Why do I feel like I just crossed into another dimension? I jumped when I felt something bump into my shoulder...and scrambled for cover when I saw it was a lion. "Whoa, there, Lillian..." Blaster grabbed the back of my shirt. "This here's my friend, Steeljaw. Mech wouldn't hurt a cyberfly, let alone a human ally."
I looked up at him. "Ally...?"
"Well, I haven't been watching you for kicks." He smiled as he set me on the bed. "As Mark's official guardian, we showed each other a few tricks."
"But...Mark is...shouldn't you be...? Isn't your job done?"
"Not s'long as your online. By extension, I'm your guardian now. 'Course...if you would rather just say ciao-"
"If you were sent to protect Mark, there must have been a reason. If Mark trusted you, then I will. No questions asked."
"There's more to being a guardian then just protection." He brushed a piece of hair out of my face with a finger. Steeljaw set his head and front paws on my lap. "There's friendship...if you require it."
"I'm okay with working towards friendship...Of course, if you look as powerful as I think you are-"
"I would never force you to do something you didn't want to do. Autobots never harm any organism capable of feeling and thinking for itself. It's against our morals to hinder your freedom."
I nodded before looking down at Steeljaw, who was suddenly purring. I brought a hand up to pet him. When I received no objection, I continued...until my arm got tired. "I'm sorry to bring this up...but I've got to get ready."
He smiled. "Say no more." He backflipped onto his normal spot on the dresser while transforming into his...boombox...mode. His tape deck opened. "Come on, Steel. It's been real, but we've got to let the little lady get ready." Steeljaw jumped from the bed, transformed into a cassette, and landed in the deck before it snapped shut. I opened my mouth to ask if that was uncomfortable before snapping my jaw shut. If I started asking questions again, I would never stop. It was already a shock to find out the second in command of an alien race...that was in a war older than...was actually...I shook my head. Don't think about it.
After I took a shower and dried my hair, I was shocked to find Steeljaw outside the door with Blaster in his mouth. He looked like a begging puppy. A giant...puppy...with claws.
I raised an eyebrow. "What's this?"
:I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
Very moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
Don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, baby
And I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
I don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna miss a thing:
"No offense, Blaster, but I really don't want some drunk jerk trying to steal you. I'll be fine."
:You know it's kind of hard
Just to get along today
Our subject isn't cool
But he fakes it anyway
He may not have a clue
And he may not have style
But everything he lacks
Well he makes up in denial:
I rolled my eyes. "Uh huh. Sure."
:Uh huh! Uh huh!:
"Still not happening."
:Don't debate!:
"I'm not taking you with me...but if you have any grand alien advice about how to make your boss happy without bringing her into a bed, I would gladly take it."
:Gonna play the field and keep it real
For you no way, for you no way
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake:
"Great advice." Steeljaw jumped on the bed, looked at me with big eyes and whined like a lost puppy. "No."
:All the girls say I'm pretty fly for a white guy:
I snorted. "I have half a mind to drop you in the bathtub."
:He needs some cool tunes
Not just any will suffice
Now cruising in his Pinto
He sees homies as he pass
But if he looks twice
They're gonna kick his lily ass!:
I laughed. "Oh, really?"
:Uh huh! Uh huh!:
"Why exactly do you want to go?"
:How do I get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my life:
I stared at him, wondering if Mark picked up an alien stalker. "No, seriously."
Steeljaw set Blaster on my lap. "I'm your guardian. I need to be with you at all times."
"You weren't with me for four years."
"I had Ravage watch you."
"Ravage?"
"Black and purple cassette player?"
My mouth fell open before I started laughing. "Oh god...You have no idea how much sense that makes."
"Well, I knew you liked cats, so-"
"Cats?" My eyebrows scrunched before I facepalmed. "Which one?"
"There was another?"
"Which one?"
"Black as a solid holoform."
"All black?"
"Yeah...There was another?"
"Yes...I'm guessing that wasn't yours?"
"The only cat I have in my collection is Steeljaw. Ravage is my bondmates. Mech let me...well, you...borrow him. What'd the other look like?"
"Black and light brown. Kind of lean."
"Hm...Nope. Not one of ours. No mech on either side has that coloring. Must've been a stray."
"Yeah, probably-"
"So, can I go?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Way to ruin a contemplative moment."
:The world loves wannabees!:
I sighed. "You really have to go with me, huh?"
:Uh huh! Uh huh!
They're gonna kick his lily ass!:
I snorted. "Fine. But only so you don't get into trouble." Steeljaw licked my face. I pet him, smiling. "Yeah, yeah. Love me later. We've got to go. Well, I've got to go. You two are going to be silent. Got it?"
:Uh huh! Uh huh!:
"Great." Mark, what did you leave me with...?
~0~
I expected something crazy, like candles, and something sane, like the lights being on. Overall, I was prepared, calm, and foolish. I was foolishlyrelievedthat I let a letter go to my head. It's my boss. What's she going to do, broadcast everything with a blowhorn? I mean, sure, she asked me some personal questions...
{"I'm here to work, not socialize."
"It's great that your focused, Lillian. It really is. But you've got to remember that your still young. If you don't mind me asking...what do you do for downtime?"
I believe the appropriate question would be when would I have time for downtime. "I read at the library."
"Again, that's great...But that wasn't what I was referring to. Don't you ever want to go on dates?"
"I don't enjoy fooling around when it comes to relationships."
"Not to sound like a downer, but isn't fooling around half the fun?"
"Having fun with a date and having fun are two completely different things for me."
"Oh, I get it. Do you believe in 'The One?' You know, soul mates and all that?"
I hesitated. "Something like that."
"Cool. So what do you want your soul mate to look like? Any ideas?"
People have that kind of stuff mapped out? "I'm more of a personality type of person."
"Yeah, I can see that."
I tilted my head. "How so?"
"Your just...calm. You just seem like the type who would go for personality. Nothing wrong with it." I nodded. She smiled.}
...but doesn't every boss or co-worker at somepoint? You have to know who you're working with.
I was convinced after ten minutes that she was just being nice. Blaster, however, wouldn't shut up. I know that he's an alien and may not quite get human culture yet...but playing 'get jiggy with it'? I wanted to avoid being set up, not labeled as a creep. I narrowly avoided the label when I told Mel about my radio needing some major work. She said she understood because hers was the same, but I highly doubted that her radio was an alien.
I waited until we were a block from the restaurant before lecturing him.
"Okay, I know your an alien...but 'get jiggy with it' ?"
:No love for haters
Mad cause I got floor seats at the Lakers
I'm the greatest
I got the fever for the flavour of a crowd pleaser
DJ play another
Only mad chicks ride in my whips
Your highness:
I scratched him.
:Woo
Uh, uh, uh, uh
Ha ha, ha ha
What, what, what, what
Ha ha ha ha
Uh
On your mark
Just can't sit
Ooh that's it:
And scratched him again.
:Psyche
Kiddin
You thought I took a spill but I didn't
Trust the lady of my life she hitting
You trying to flex on me
Don't be silly
Now honey honey
Bring it.:
I sighed. "Look, I just don't want to get in trouble or fired. I need the job. In order to keep the job, I need to focus. And you playing 'get jiggy with it' does nothing for-"
:I know this for a fact, you don't like how I act
You claim I'm selling crack but you be doing that:
"How did Mark deal with you?"
:Stand clear, don' man a talk:
"He avoided you-?"
:Watch out! That's the sound of da police!:
It was then that I noticed the flashing lights behind me. I turned and waited for the police to pass, thinking they couldn't possibly want me. I waited anyway, not wanting to get in trouble on the off chance they did...I also waited silently...and Blaster...
:You can't stand where I stand
You can't walk where I walk
I'd rather say "see ya" 'cause I would never be ya
Be an officer? You wicked overseer
Ya hotshot, wanna get props and be a savior
First show a little respect, change your behavior
Change your attitute, change your plan
There could never really be justice on stolen land
Are you really for peace and equality?
Or when my car is hooked up, you know you wanna follow me
Your laws are minimal
'Cause you won't even think about looking at the real criminal
This has got to cease
'Cause we be getting hyped to the sound of da police-:
I used my nails to scratch Blaster. "Either stay silent or I let him taser you instead of me," I mumbled. The music fizzled out to static before dying completely. Good alien robot.
"I'm sorry to disturb you ma'am, but I got a call saying there was a suspicious figure wandering the neighborhood that matches your description."
How bored are people that they call the police this late? Do I look like a thug that sells weapons or drugs? "I'm sorry you had to get called this late, officer. I just got off my shift at work and-"
"Was there anyone with a vehicle at the time you left the establishment?"
How much trouble can I get in for lying to an officer? "No, sir. I was asked to lock up." Lier, lier, pants on fire, SC mumbled.
Oh hush.
"Do you have a mode of transportation?"
"No, sir."
"I suggest you get one as soon as possible." I nodded. "I also received a noise complaint..." His eyes trailed to Blaster. "Is that the culprit?"
"It's an old boombox, sir. I'm still working out the kinks."
He raised an eyebrow. "Yes, well...I will advise you to work out those 'kinks' as soon as possible. The volume is a public nuisance."
"Yes, sir."
He nodded. "Now, then...Where do you live? I would be happy to give you a ride."
I shifted. "Um...That's nice, sir, but-"
He smiled. "Think of it as a way to avoid taking up more of my time. You wouldn't want to have another officer be called down from the station for a public nuisance when the same officer could be saving a life...would you?"
I'm being played for a sap...Well, I guess it's better than walking in these shoes for another mile...or three. "No, sir."
"Well-" He sat on his bike and threw a helmet to me. "Get on, miss...?"
"Wescott, sir."
"Have you ever been on a motorcycle, miss Wescott?"
"No, sir."
"In that case, I advise you to hold on tightly, miss Wescott. I have to get back to the station as soon as possible."
"Of course, sir."
"You may refer to me as Prowl, miss Wescott."
"Of cour-" My eyes went wide. "Wait, what?" I shrieked.
"Hang on!" I had no choice. I held on for dear life...while blushing like a love-struck fool. Prowl...by-the-book second in command...my...crush...I buried my head in the holoform's back and prayed for a quick death. I looked up hesitantly when we stopped. "Your residence, I presume."
To be honest, I couldn't tell in the dark...but I would've given any excuse to get off. I did so, shaking slightly from the adrenaline rush. "Y-Yes." I grabbed Blaster and cleared my throat. "Thank you."
He nodded before looking at the mischievous red piece of metal in my hands. "Blaster, you are to report to base tomorrow as soon as your charge is rested."
:Yes, sir!:
I almost hit Blaster for playing an army clip. Then again...I would've given any excuse to hit him at the moment. "For now, miss Wescott-"
"Yes?"
He smiled. "Have a good night."
I waited until Prowl was gone before looking down at Blaster. "You know your dead, right?"
:Uh huh! Uh huh!:
