My heart throbbed at her torment

My heart throbbed at her torment. I didn't want anything more in the world than to pull her into my arms and tell her everything is going to be okay. But I couldn't do that, not now. I was going on the field of battle tomorrow. Even I didn't know if everything's going to be okay. Hold on, Bella. Hold on just a little longer.

-Bella's POV-

"Bella, you're going to be late," Charlie called up the stairs.

"I don't care!" I shouted back. I pulled myself into a smaller ball, and rested my head against the cold wall. Tears streamed down my face. Stairs creaked, and shortly after, the door swung open, but I didn't look to see who it was. I already had a pretty good idea.

"Bella, please do this," Renée begged, "it hurts your father, and it hurts me to see you like this." I turned to face her, my face emotionless, empty. I heard a small gasp.

"I'll go, but I won't be happy."

"Thanks, Bella. You're father is proud of you, you know."

Five minutes later, I walked down the stairs in a ridiculously expensive dress. "You look beautiful, honey."

"Sure," I replied sarcastically. It was just a date, I reminded myself. Ugh, date. The only man I dreamed of dating was Edward, but he was half way across the ocean fight in a war. Reminding myself of Edward brought back some of the bitterness of before.

"Don't be angry at Edward, Bella. It's not his fault," Renée said. "I mean, there are a lot of casualties lost on both sides." I gulped.

"I'm not angry at him, I'm angry at the darn cruel world."

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I stared out the carriage, watching the rain fall. "I hope you enjoy your date," Charlie said, as the horses came to a stop.

"Thanks," I whispered. I gathered my skirt and slowly exited the carriage. A man waited there for me, with an umbrella. He held it out, covering me instantly. I studied his outfit for all of two seconds. A nice collar shirt and tan pants. His chest seemed to be muscular. I looked at his face with appraising eyes. He had brown hair and brown eyes. His jaw was slightly curved, and his nose was straight. I forced a smile.

"Hello Bella," he said warmly. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks, Will. You look… handsome yourself." He pulled me into a one armed hug.

We ate lunch and talked. "Bella, I'm not trying to pry, but when we met earlier, you seemed… upset." I grimaced. "It's okay," he said, misinterpreting my expression, "you don't have to explain."

"No, it's just my best friend is fighting in Germany. He was originally doing something in a boat, so it wasn't as dangerous. I was just informed that he is inland, fighting." By the end, my voice had a longing note in it. I wondered if he noticed it.

"I don't blame you for being anxious."
"Anxious doesn't even cover it," I replied darkly.

"…and you miss him."

"You have no idea."

"I wonder, did he have feelings for you?" he asked, with a jealous tone. I squirmed in my seat.

"He didn't propose to me, if that's what you mean."

"How do you feel about him?"

"He's been my best friend for as long as I can remember. He's more of a companion then anything else," I lied. I wasn't comfortable talking about my feelings for another man, so I quickly changed the subject.

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Will and I walked towards where Charlie was waiting to pick me up. It was raining harder than before. Will held the umbrella still, but he wrapped his arm around me, which made me uncomfortable. I felt this was moving too fast. All I wanted to do today was to curl up in my bed and cry my heart out. I wasn't sure if Edward was going to return to me anymore. With that thought, tears started sliding down my face. I tried covering my face from Will.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He asked, wiping tears from my face.

"I'm afraid for Edward. I want him to return home, but I don't think it's going to happen. There are so many casualties. How is he going to survive?"

"Oh, Bella, forget about him. You have me now, and I'll take care of you. I'll fulfill your every need." Before I had gathered my thoughts, the carriage pulled up. I was happy that my dad was just a few steps away.

"Bye, Will. I'll see you later," I muttered. I quickly stepped into the dry box.

"How was your date, Bells?" I turned to look at him. "Oh no, what happened, Bella?"
"Nothing, Dad, it's just that I miss Edward so much." Charlie pursed his lips, and something clicked in my head.

"You don't think Edward will come back, do you? That's why you want me to date Will. That's why he said 'You have me now, and I'll take care of you'. Why are you doing this to me? WHY?" I shrieked.

"Bella, if he doesn't come back, it would leave you heart broken. If you moved on now… it would be that much easier."

"Do you intend for me to marry him?"

"That's my intentions…"

The second I got home, I stalked off to my room, and pulled out Edward's letter.

My dearest Bella,

I want nothing more than to cradle you in my arms, and tell you everything is going to be all right. I just can't. I received news today that I am needed fighting at the front lines. We're losing so many troops, we can't get enough troops into replace them. I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise. I love you so much, that if I don't return I would wish you continued to have a happy painless life. I won't be able to write to you in a while, so I must lay everything out to you in writing right now. I'm an idiot for not doing this earlier, perhaps before I left. I was about to give you a beautiful engagement ring, and ask you for your hand in marriage. I guess I'm doing this right now, but rather in writing. If you accept my proposal I would be the happiest man in the universe. I think what torments me the most not having to safe in my arms, and the fact that I can't do it in person.

I love you so much Bella. I wish you have a happy life if I don't return.

Love,

Edward.

By the end of the letter, there were big wet splotches on the piece of paper. Oh Edward, even you doubt that you're going to be coming home soon. I clutched the piece of paper to my heart. I pulled out my calendar, and counted how many days it was since he left. It's been five months. How many years does it seem? Desperately, I grabbed a pencil and paper and drew Edward's face furiously. When I finished it, I hugged it with all my might. I never wanted to let go of Edward, or worse forget him.