7.
Hoot walked into the kitchen with no more then a towel around his chiseled waist and belted Randy upside the head. "You're in my chair."
I ignored them.
I needed coffee.
I poured a cup of coffee as Randy spat, "I don't see your name on it princess."
I needed a big cup of coffee. Momma G handed me a plate full of eggs, sausage, bacon, toast, ham, and hash browns. She was trying to fatten me up, I swear to God she was. She then kissed my cheek, "Go have'a seat baby-doll. Eat, you too skinny."
"It's my chair! Diana sits there an I sit there, outta my chair."
Randy chewed on his bacon, "Maybe Diana wants to sit next to me. Besides I got here first."
It was too early in the morning to deal with them. So I took my rightful seat beside Randy and he stole my bacon. Which greatly offended my husband.
"Momma! Randy won't let me sit next'a my wife."
She turned around in her Dairy Queen work uniform. An apron covered the front of her and she pointed the spatula at both grown men. "Don make me separate y'all. Hoot, sit down cross from baby-doll an Randy, you quit teasen Hoot."
When she turned back around to tend to the bacon Randy stuck his tongue out at Hoot, who then flipped Randy off. Who stole a sausage link from my plate. Hoot reached over the table and grabbed a slice of ham.
Both men had plates stacked of food, second helpings too.
"What are y'all doin t'day?"
Randy and Hoot looked at one another, knowing I needed caffeine they left me out of their discussion.
"Randy was hopen to hunt'a gator. An I was thinkin a takin Diana out to the range."
Range? Woohoo! I loved guns.
Randy perked up, "I'll tag along at the range."
"What range," Momma G inquired.
Hoot reached dangerously close to my coffee, but grabbed the saltshaker. "Saul's. He tol me to drop by when I was older." Hoot then looked to Randy, "One'a the founden members. Beckworth picked'im himself. He's got a sweet killin house and mockup town."
Randy perked up. "Can we bring our toys?"
Hoot's grin was the response.
Then Momma G turned and pointed her spatula at Hoot, "You better stay way from them Bridley boys. I don't want you an Randy gettin in any trouble. They cops now."
One of my eyebrows rose as the caffeine sank into my brain.
Hoot whipped his head around, "Momma, I'm a grown man. What'd I go round lookin for them for?"
"Cause you my son." She then looked to me, "Baby-doll, make sure my lil baby Hoot b'haves himself, an Randy-kins too."
Randy-kins?
I nodded, "Of course. And if you all will excuse me, I'm going to get dressed."
Hoot looked back to me.
As I grabbed my coffee and headed for the hall he added, "Wear somethin that can get dirty baby."
Of course I would. I blew him a kiss. We could never go shopping like a normal couple. No, we went shooting. As Momma G inquired when Hoot was giving her grandchildren I hauled ass to the bedroom.
Where I closed the door and set my mug down.
Having showered I went to my suitcase and dug through it. We were going shooting. Cause that was what married people did. I dug around and felt something hard.
It wasn't my belt.
Hoot must have added something else.
I dug around and pulled out thermal goggles. What the hell? I picked off my white lacy padded bra that they were wrapped in and tossed it on the bed, then set the goggles on the floor.
He'd been in the Special Forces way too long.
After that realization and discovery, I dug out some battered jeans and a basic olive baby doll tee. Perfect for a fun filled day of shooting things.
The bedroom door opened and I turned. It could have been Randy or Hoot, Randy didn't know how to knock.
It was neither.
Some teenage boy that weighed maybe ninety pounds peeked in, at the sight of me a red blush spread across his pale face. "Sorry ma'am. I was lookin for Uncle Hoot."
Where the hell had Mr. Puberty come from?
"He's in the dining room with Randy and Momma G."
"Oh…um, ma'am, who are you? Why are you in his room?"
I whipped around and narrowed my eyes at him. The kid flinched. At all of 15 I was not surprised. "I'm his wife."
At that the kid quickly excused himself and off he went.
minutes later…
After I got dressed and braided my hair I went to find my husband and eat something, have some more coffee. When I got back to the table the kid was in my seat.
So I parked it next to Hoot who was getting more food from his mother. Both he and Randy had eaten all the food from my plate. They ate everything. Which in order to stay their size and in shape they usually consumed more then 2500 calories daily when they were home.
The both of them had already worked out for the day, all before I had woken too.
"So you're a cook," Mr. Puberty said pointing to Randy, who nodded while finishing up his eggs like a starving man. He then pointed to Hoot, "An you program computers?"
Hoot nodded, "Big un's. Gabe, this is my wife Diana. Diana baby, this is my lil cousin Gabe. He's goin into the Army when he graduates."
Oh goody.
I smiled at Gabe who looked at me as if I were Satan himself. I then picked a piece of bacon off Hoot's plate. Hoot kissed my ear and was scolded by Randy, "Not at the dinner table!"
"You just jealous," Hoot grinned and kissed my ear again.
Randy pointed his fork threateningly at Hoot. While he inquired, "What do you want to do in the Army, Gabe?"
Momma G answered the question for him, "Gaby wants to fly them choppers for them Night Stalkin peoples."
Night Stalkers.
That was a pretty high goal to achieve.
Momma G added, "He need's to get his grades better to git into college, so he gets the degree to git into flight skool."
Hoot and Randy both looked to Gabe. I stole more bacon. "You gettin bad grades," Hoot demanded.
"An he's gittin in trouble," Momma G spat, "Which's why he's stayin here. His Momma cain't control him…I can though, ain't that right Gaby." Momma G glared and he nodded, "Yes ma'am."
The woman had obviously knocked some sense into him.
"What kind of trouble," I inquired.
His dark eyes looked down at his bacon, "Nothin, ma'am."
"Don't you nuthin me! You goin to court for it ain't you?"
Really?
Hoot was eyeing Gabe who wouldn't look up, Randy inquired, "Felony or misdemeanor charges?"
"Misdemeanor. He's doin community service for it an helpin at church now. I'm fixin him good."
I had no doubt.
Randy and Hoot shared a look. I had a feeling we were getting a fourth person to shoot with.
