Short update! Sorry it's taking so long guys, I've been trying to split my time between this and my other fics. I'm going to try to update more! Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy!


The hospital was cold. The florescent lights seemed so much brighter now, but maybe because it was late at night. Eiri glanced to the clock above the nurses' station. 1:47. He had no idea when they'd stormed the apartment, nor how long they'd been passed out with Shuichi slowly dying on the dirty mattress only a few feet away.

Shuichi…

Eiri rubbed his eyes. This was all his fault. If he wouldn't have thrown the boy out then none of this would have happened. But it did because Eiri was so fucked up.

God he was fucked up.

He flinched when he opened his eyes and saw someone way too close. Tohma bit his lip, sighing. "Sorry." He held a hand out, holding a warm cup of coffee. "Brought you something."

Eiri stared at the cup for a moment, slowly taking it and sighing. "Thanks."

Tohma took the seat next to him, sipping his own coffee. "Any word yet?"

Eiri shook his head. "Not yet." He mumbled. He'd never been this scared. Not in the war, not anywhere else. What would he do if Shuichi died? If he never got to apologize?

He never even apologized in the apartment.

Hot tears slid down his cheeks as the realization hit him. Tohma watched him with soft eyes, saying nothing. What could he say? Nothing could make this better right now. Sure, Tohma could pull strings for favors. But this was a life. A human life. Unfortunately Tohma had no connections to the afterlife.

Instead, he reached over and rubbed Eiri's back slowly. Eiri shook his head, putting his coffee down on the floor and sliding his palms over his face. What if that had been his last chance to talk to Shuichi? What if he wasted it on saying stupid crap like 'stay with me'? He offered no words of comfort to the pink-haired man. In what might have been Shuichi's last moments of life all Eiri could say was 'stay with me'. After Eiri kicked him out of his own apartment. After Eiri beat him and spit on him and called him horrible names.

The last thing Shuichi might have heard was 'me'.

Why was it that in the hour of death, no happy memories could be found? Any other time they could be easily accessed and played in the mind. At moments like this Eiri couldn't even fathom his lips forming the syllables to say the word.

They had spent three months together in Japan. Every day after work Eiri would go straight to Shuichi's home and they would talk and laugh for hours. Shuichi would cook Eiri and his mother dinner and for those moments in time they were a family at peace. Eiri remembered their late night talks of seeing the world. All Shuichi dreamed of was leaving this town that hated him so. He had been stranded there his entire life and he wanted out.

Eiri remembered that conversation well.


"But if I don't make it out, that's okay too."

Eiri chuckled softly. They sat in Shuichi's room, on the bed. Shuichi sat on Eiri's lap, the blonde's arms around his waist. Shuichi reached down and held one of Eiri's hands in his own, stroking it softly.

"You just seemed so adamant about getting out though. Why the sudden change?"

Shuichi giggled softly. "Well, my mother's here, and I don't work. We couldn't possibly ever afford to move anywhere no matter how much I want to. Plus this is my mother's home. This is the only true home she's ever known."

Eiri nodded, watching their hands intertwine with ease. "But don't you want a true home Shuichi?"

"I do, one day." He shrugged slightly. "It just doesn't seem like that day will ever arrive quick enough. But as long as it comes sooner or later, then I can be patient."

Eiri pressed his lips against Shuichi's temple gently.

"You'll have your home someday."

Shuichi glanced over his shoulder to Eiri, smiling softly. "Do you really think so?"

Eiri grinned. "I know so. Know how?"

"How?"

"I'll give you a home."

Shuichi giggled, kissing Eiri's hand. "You're so sweet Eiri."

His golden eyes softened. "Shuichi."

"Hm?"

"I'm serious."

Shuichi turned around and watched the man with gentle amethyst eyes and Eiri wondered how such a beautiful creature could be real. "I'll….we'll make a home. Together."

A soft smile spread across Shuichi's face, and he wrapped his arms around Eiri's neck, hugging him tightly. "Thank you Eiri."

Eiri wrapped his arms around the other, holding on tight. He never wanted to let go.


But he did.

And all for what? For anger? Because Shuichi wasn't a woman? Was gender such an issue that Eiri was so willing to sacrifice his happiness just to be politically correct? What the hell did that mean anyway? Eiri always thought politics were stupid. Look at the war. Men killed each other for power so often that the world was forgetting what love was.

Eiri had forgotten what love was.

Love was everything that he felt when he was with Shuichi in Japan. All the laughs they shared, the secret kisses, the smiles, the meals, the steps…all those moments were full of love.

Eiri had forgotten that.

He only hoped he would get another chance for another love with Shuichi. One where they were equal in the relationship. One where they were both happy, and one where there was no such thing as a 'me'. There was only 'us', 'ours'.

That was love.