(Hello! I'm back! Sorry for the delay. I had a bit of writer's block and then I started back to school and life got crazy. But never fear, because last night, during my 4 hour Shakespeare class I plotted out this story all the way though Chapter 32! [Also right after I finished a boy broke his finger and ended up passing out. The ambulance had to come. Acting school is hardcore.]

This is one of my shorter chapters, but there's a lot happening in the next chapter. I hope you enjoy, and please read and review!)

A hand over my mouth… Pain… The feeling that I'm suffocating, everything pressing in, tighter and tighter… I sat up in bed, heart pounding. Sweat covered my body and I struggled to catch my breath.

It was just a dream. I tried to reassure myself. I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes and willed myself to calm down, that everything was fine. It had been a while since I had experienced one of the nightmares. When it had first begun to happen, I had one almost every night, but as time went on the dreams had become less frequent.

Glancing over at my alarm clock, I realized that I had majorly overslept. Untangling myself from my blankets, I forced myself into action. I hurried down the hall to the bathroom before realizing there was no way I had time to shower if I was going to make it to first period. Instead, I roughly tugged my brush through my hair and piled it on top of my head in a messy bun. Looking more closely into the mirror, I saw the dark circles adorning each eye. I must have slept even worse than I thought. I grabbed my makeup from it's drawer and did my best to cover them up. I swiped on some mascara and took another look; Still pale and tired, but it would have to do.

Thankfully, I already had all of my stuff packed for school and soccer. I pulled on the first shirt I found and my favorite shorts from the top of my dirty clothes hamper. Sliding my feet into sneakers, I grabbed all of my stuff and thundered down the stairs. I dumped it all unceremoniously by the front door and continued through to the kitchen.

"Woah, someone's running a little late," Mark joked from where he and my mom sat at the table.

"Yeah, my alarm didn't go off. Why didn't you come and wake me up?" I shoot angrily at my mom.

She gives me a look over the top of her glasses. "Excuse me, but I believe it was you who decided that you were, 'More than old enough to take care of yourself,' and 'Not a baby that needs constant supervision.'"

"Part of growing up is having to be responsible for yourself, champ."

"Can everyone spare me the lecture, please? And don't call me champ." I shot at Mark.

"JJ…" Her voice was low, a warning.

"Well I'm just saying, I made a mistake, and I didn't get to shower so now I have to go to school feeling gross, and we're out of milk so I can't even have breakfast." I was standing in front of the fridge, fuming. Tears suddenly rushed to my eyes and threatened to choke me.

"Alright, calm down, everything's okay." My mom came to stand behind me and laid a hand on my shoulder. "Yes, we're out of milk, I'll get more after work, but you can still have breakfast. We have oatmeal, or I can make you some eggs." She smoothed my hair away from my face and I jerked away from her. "I think there's some pop tarts in the pantry," she added in a small voice.

I didn't look at her, instead going to the pantry and looking inside. While scanning the shelves I took several deep breathes to try and pull myself together. I grabbed one of the pouches and ripped it open, taking a bite.

"'Gee mom, thanks for averting my minor life crisis!' 'Oh don't worry, anything my darling, sweet little girl!'" When I fail to take the bait and thank her or apologize, she let out an exasperated sigh. "What has gotten into you this morning?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

"You'd think you wouldn't be so tired since you slept half the morning away." I looked across the kitchen at Mark but didn't say anything. My mom let out another sigh.

"Alright well, I'm going to be leaving in about five minutes, will you be ready?"

I nodded, taking another bite of my sugary breakfast, and didn't say anything else.

Once we were in the car, my mom tentatively looked over at me. "It seems like you're always in a horrible mood when you come back from your dad's apartment. Do you not get enough sleep?"

Hands. Lips. The blankets being pushed down. The red numbers of the alarm clock counting down the time. "Yeah." I mumbled.

"Yeah, you don't? Or yeah, you do?"

"I get enough sleep. I slept until like, 11:00 yesterday."

"Okay so do you not eat well? Do you eat a bunch of junk?"

I let out a heavy sigh. "I eat fine."

"Okay well then what's the deal? Why are you so upset?"

"I'm not upset!"

"JJ, you almost threw a temper tantrum over milk this morning, something's up." She paused for a moment, making a turn then coming to sit at a red light. "Is it because you really like it over there? And you don't want to come back?"

Her voice was small and soft and when I whipped my head to look at her, her face looked heartbroken. "If that's it Jayje, we can look at reworking the custody agreement. I want you with us, but more than anything I want you to be happy."

I was filled with horror, both at the emotions I had apparently brought up in my mom and the thought of living with my dad full time.

"No! No I want, it's not… I want to live with you and Mark."

I could see the relief on her face even though she tried to hide it. "Are you sure? It wouldn't hurt my feelings, we all just want to do what's best for you."

"No I, I want to stay living with you guys."

She nodded and let out a breath. "Okay. Well then what is it?"

I shrugged, desperately wishing she would just drop it already. "I had bad dreams last night." I finally offered.

"Oh honey. About Rosalind?" I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. "I'm sorry you're having bad dreams. Do… Do you think it would be helpful to go back and see Dr. Morris? I can look at scheduling you an appointment if you want, It might help."

I opened my eyes but kept them trained out my window. "No, I'm… I'm fine. I'm just tired and I have a lot going on with school and soccer and stuff."

"Okay… Well you can always talk to me. You know that, right?"

I nodded, thankful as she pulled to a stop in front of the school. "I know."

I had never been more grateful to slide into my seat in English. I pulled out my notebook and copy of The Great Gatsby and stacked them both in front of me, before letting my head rest on top. My eyes fluttered closed and I focused on my breathing. It felt like one of those days where everything was on the verge of shattering apart into a million pieces.

"Good morning!" Penelope's loud and unexpected voice caused me to jump and she let out a giggle. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

I shook my head. "It's fine."

"Are you sure? You kind of look sick." She leaned in just a little bit. "Like, seriously." She tried to put a hand on my forehead but I evaded her touch.

"I'm fine, just tired."

"And grumpy. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, jeez." She said with another laugh.

When I didn't reply, she looked at me a closer. "For real though, everything okay? You don't really seem tired, you seem down. Or sad."

I could feel tears rising to the surface again and I pushed them viciously down. "I'm fine!" I snap at her. "I woke up late, I didn't have time to shower, and then I got interrogated by my mom in the car on the way here. I'm not sad, I'm just trying to get through this shitty morning. and the only way I can do that is if everyone just leaves me alone okay? And no offense, but you barely even know me, so stop trying to tell me what I am and what I'm not."

She sat there in shock, hurt clearly written on her face. "Well excuse me for trying to care." She finally sniffed.

Before I could bite back a reply, Ms. Prentiss came into the room.

"Alright everybody quiet down, it's time to start class. Now, over the weekend you were supposed to read the first 100 pages of Gatsby. Anyone care to start us off with what stood out to them?"

As she called on the first student, I could already feel the shame and guilt begin to churn in my stomach. I hadn't meant to snap at her. I jut felt so out of control, and every time someone asked me if I was okay, I was brought that much closer to falling apart. I wished I could take back what I said, but the damage was done. As Ms. Prentiss began a discussion about Nick's father's advice about advantages, I tried to catch Penelope's eye but she refused to look at me. I knew I needed to make this right, she was the closest thing I had to a friend right now.

The bell rang and we were assigned a one page narrative about our own advantages and how they compared to those of the characters in the book before being dismissed.

"Penelope-" I started, but she grabbed her things and flounced from the room without giving me a second glance, and I was left to gnaw on my lip and wonder what to do.