Chapter 7 - Tea Houses and Kunai


The coffee shop was slightly crowded, and the smell of fresh baked muffins and bread wafted through the air making Sakura hungry. Night was falling on Konoha, the crickets and cicadas making a harmonious racket outside the open window and the street lamps came on one by one.

Naruto played with the ice cubes in his ginger ale, poking at them with a straw and watching them float back up after he'd pushed them to the bottom. The light hum of patron's enjoying talk about the weather or the memorial, or even just what they did that day kept the ambiance at a dull roar.

With a light sigh, Naruto finally asked timidly, "So what did you see this time?" His voice was quiet and passive like he didn't really want to know. Maybe there was something in her face after the memory shock that warned Naruto that they needed to talk about something she'd seen. Maybe it was something he always feared she'd discover and didn't want to be the one to tell her.

Sakura leaned forward, slipping to the end of the soft, vinyl booth seat, and placed both forearms on the table around her tea, unable to match his calm tone. "I saw Sasuke... Naruto, I need you to be candid with me. I've been having these visions and memories whenever that pain in my head hits. They're confusing me more than helping. I can't figure out what they mean."

"You saw Sasuke?" Naruto repeated. "What was he doing?"

"Tell me about my past with Sasuke," she said without answering his question.

Naruto scratched at his face and looked down at his glass. His eyes flicked up to her and then to the window. He stirred his ginger ale a little with the straw. Glasses clinked and the sound of the coffeemaker hissing reached their quiet table and Sakura became acutely aware that Naruto was stalling.

"I don't know if I really...should," he mumbled, still avoiding her eyes.

"Why ever not?" she pressed, reaching across the table to grab his hand.

Poking again at the stray cubes in his glass, nearly melted now, Naruto finally met her eyes. "I like the way things are right now. I mean, not you losing your memories, but us being all together."

"Well...," Sakura's brow creased, "Why wouldn't we be?"

Naruto's shoulders slumped a little; he dropped his straw and put his hands down on the booth seat after pulling out of her gentle hold. The muscles in his jaw contracted, tightening his face and showing his discomfort with whatever he was objecting to telling her.

"It's not fair to hide things from me. I haven't trusted anyone as much as I've trusted you. Don't make me regret it," she said quietly, pulling her hand back and clenching it in her sweatshirt pocket.

"All right. Just...don't tell Sasuke I told you. I think he likes things the way they are as well." Naruto sighed again, long and slow, before finally slipping to the end of his booth seat and getting up to come around to Sakura's side. He slid in and eased over so closely to her that their thighs were tight against each other.

"Is it that bad?" she asked with wide eyes.

"No. Well, I'm not sure. I'd like to keep it between us, though." His eyes glossed over the other patrons and then back to Sakura.

They just looked at each other for a moment, Naruto waiting to make sure she really wanted to hear it, and Sakura waiting for him to get the courage to tell her whatever he was holding back. No matter what, it didn't seem like it was going to be something she cared to know. But once it was out, there was no turning back and the curiosity would be the end of her if she didn't find out.

"Please," she hissed, tired of waiting for his compliance, even though she knew full well he was going to tell her. His hesitation was creating anxiety for them both; Naruto never ever hesitated.

"Okay...just, let me figure out where to start. I mean, you know Sasuke right? Remember when we first came to the hospital and you were pretty nervous around him. Actually, I'd say that he frightened you more than a little." Naruto grabbed a sugar package and began to fray the edge gently with his fingertips. A spoon clanged to the floor at a nearby table and he took the opportunity to focus on it.

"Hm," Sakura agreed, tapping his hand where it rested on the table.

He looked back at her, then at the glass on the other side of the table. "Well, I always thought that was strange because before that day, you two hadn't spoken in a long time. I think it had to be about two years ago that things became strained, not that long after he returned to the village as a ninja. He was a missing-nin for a long time." The sugar fell in grains all over the table from the ripped package. "Shit," he mumbled.

"We haven't spoken in two years?" she said incredulously.

"You've spoken, but it wasn't always nice. Something always seemed to be strained and it got harder and harder for us all to be together. Neither of you would tell me why, but just that I had to deal with it. It's depressing, Sakura. My two best friends couldn't sit at a table together without ignoring each other or one of you getting up and making an excuse to leave. Then...you just started avoiding each other." Naruto reached for another sugar packet.

"I don't understand at all..." she whispered, rubbing her forehead tersley and looking out the window to the darkened streets and yellow lights along the paths.

"What did you see, Sakura, in your memory?" Naruto finally asked, leaning back against the booth and tipping his head to look at her. It seemed his energy had drained from him and his voice was tired which was so abnormal for him that it bothered her to make him feel like that.

"I need to ask you one more thing," she said apologetically. "Please...be honest. I really wish this had been any other memory..."

"I will," he answered softly.

"Did I have sex with Sasuke?"

"Why would I know that?" Naruto hissed, "Geez, Sakura. The guy doesn't tell me what colour he likes, he certainly wouldn't tell me something like that. I don't think I want to know that anyway." His voice raised a little and he looked around the room to see if anyone noticed.

She leaned closer so she could speak quietly. "I saw us in bed together. He was kissing me and his hands were working at my clothes. I have to imagine that we slept together at least once. I thought that you being our best friend would know what happened." Sakura slid her arm around his arm and leaned on his shoulder. "I didn't mean to upset you but I'm really confused now."

"I want to help you but...he's anti-social. He just doesn't talk about himself. He's had a really hard life." Naruto defended Sasuke but he didn't need to. Sakura understood the bond they all had, well, up until the moment Naruto shattered the illusion that everything was fine between them all. Their lives together went far back, and as much as she'd been told up to now, there was something special between the three, be it good or bad.

"You loved him for a long time, you know," Naruto mumbled, scratching a tense hand through his hair. "When he was gone for years, you did everything you could to bring him back. All your training and work to become a top ranked kunoichi was partly, maybe even mostly for him. You kept me going...kept me looking for him and wouldn't let me give up. That day when we found him the first time, we cried together when he left."

"I see," she said to herself, feeling a little bit of despair creeping in. She wanted Kakashi, not Sasuke. She felt so strongly that she had some sort of relationship with Kakashi at some point, so why have a dalliance with Sasuke, if that's all it was? And why did they dislike each other? She couldn't very well ask Sasuke as she promised Naruto, but her head spun from the idea that they might have been more to each other than just friends.

And was it possible she retained her feelings for people from before her memory loss? She had a natural reluctance around Sasuke, a innate mistrust. But in contrast, Naruto had easily been accepted and Kakashi had quickly become the object of her affection.

Pieces were falling into place, but then some were breaking off. Did she actually sleep with him? And why did she hate him? Two questions in the place of one.

"I don't suppose Sasuke says how he feels about me either way?" she attempted, knowing full well that if he didn't share personal things, Sasuke probably never confided anything in Naruto of that nature.

Of course, the blond shook his head. "But is him caring about you so bad? Two years ago, it would have been exactly what you wanted. I like the way things are now, Sakura. Can we just leave it like this for a while. I know you're curious and it's a big thing to ask..."

"No, it's fine," she said off-handedly, not really listening anymore, her mind turning over on so many things. "My head hurts. Would you walk me home?"

Naruto tossed some coins on the table for the drinks and slid out of the booth. He held a hand out and helped Sakura up as well.

"I'm sorry I wasn't more help," he said gently. "I suppose there are just some things that you might never know."


Once again the sun rose to light the blue sky between gusts of pearly white clouds. It was still cool and breezy, but much more comfortable without a headache or a hangover. Sakura hadn't slept well, but managed to get a few hours in between bouts of questions running through her head.

But now she felt wrong in her own skin thinking that somehow, somewhere, she'd chosen to be in an intimate situation with Sasuke. It made her question her pre-memory loss feelings toward Kakashi as genuine, but took some comfort in the fact that what was there now was quite real.

She slipped on a pair of dark blue dress pants and a light blue long sleeved blouse that buttoned up. As she turned in front of the mirror, she felt she looked consumately professional and swore that Nurse Nasty wasn't going to get the better of her today.

But, as Murphy's Law would dictate, her favorite head nurse seemed to be hunting for her hide with unusual fervor. If it wasn't how quickly she was seeing to the intake paperwork, it was how slow she was stocking the supplies. Of course, it was the red suckers that the children were supposed to get and she shouldn't actually gag when someone vomits on her.

All in all, the day had not gone well.

As Sakura poured over the last set of test results, verbally beaten and a little less confident than she'd ever felt in her short life, she sighed and put her head down on the desk.

Between defensive bouts with the nurse and glimpses in her mind of Sasuke's fingers on the mid-line zipper of a red shirt, she couldn't stop thinking of what Kakashi said before he allowed them that one kiss. If only she'd been less drunk, she might have had the presence of mind to question him on why she was crying when he first kissed her. And that question led to her wondering how many times he'd kissed her and had he, in fact, been in her bed as well?

And then worse questions began to surface. Was it Sasuke or Kakashi she had a dalliance with? Could it have been Sasuke she was involved with and messed around with Kakashi? It didn't seem likely as someone would have told her, wouldn't they? But having Kakashi tight lipped and keeping her at bay might be an indication that she was on the right track. Damn ninja and their secretive ways.

The unwelcome idea that she'd had multiple lovers began to plague her. What sort of girl was she? No one had really spoken with her about her libido or her sexual prowess. Was she loose? Were all ninja loose?

She needed Ino.

"Napping?" a familiar snarky voice asked from the office doorway.

"Oh, sorry. I've got a bit of a headache," Sakura mumbled, embarrassed. She sat up, fumbled the charts closed and slowly, trying not to draw any anger upon herself, started stacking them as quietly as humanly possible.

"You know, I have no idea why she keeps you around. You're just in the way all the time," the nurse grumbled, picking at a nail non-chalantly. "I mean, you don't really do anything."

And just like that, all questions were banished from her mind. Instead, Sakura felt a build up of frustration and anger like she hadn't felt yet. It was almost freeing. An inner voice was telling her that it was time to make the woman put-up or shut-up with a shaking fist. And her real self concurred.

Sakura stood up and snapped the last chart noisily on top of the stack and looked up at the nurse with narrowed eyes. "I have done nothing but bust my ass around here, and you've been on my case from minute one."

"I can't help it if you're a screw- up... from minute one," the tall thin woman snickered.

"Why the hell am I even here? I'm not enjoying this," Sakura hissed to herself, rubbing her temple and shaking her head.

"Not much else you can do, is there?" the nurse laughed, but it had a nervous edge.

"Yeah, actually, there is. I don't really want to be here, so screw it. I'm gone," Sakura said with a satisfying push on the charts as they spread across the desk and one fell on the floor. She slid around the desk and approached the woman as she pulled off the white coat with her name embroidered on the pocket and tucked it over her arm. "I'm sure you'll be happy to pass this on to Tsunade for me. Tell her I quit. And feel free to take the credit." Then without another word, Sakura stepped by the nurse and walked calmly down the hall.

As she passed the hospital rooms and the nurses station to press the button for the elevator, she could hear the frantic click of high heels coming down the hallway. "Sakura! You can't just quit like that. Tsunade will be... Sakura!"

With a breath of a laugh, Sakura stepped into the open elevator, and feeling like a weight had fallen off her shoulders, said a happy goodbye to hospital life.


It was past noon when Sakura found herself in an unfamiliar side of the village. There was a bakery, a small restaurant, and a tiny shop that sold supplies for ninja like specialized kunai and weapons that looked like jewelry and hair pieces. It was fascinating, but what was more interesting was that the shop owner knew Sakura – even called her by name.

She browsed the counter, staring at the hard steel blades, and intricately designed stars with curled and jagged edges. All manner of things that clipped onto wrists or strapped to arms, legs or belts littered the walls and glass cases.

"Your item came in," the shop owner said happily.

"My...item...?" she responded, watching the small man with gray hair fumble around behind a counter for a cardboard box.

The man set the box on the counter and smiled as if Sakura should be pleased. With ease, he slid the flaps up and opened the box so that she could look at the contents. Sakura leaned over and stared at the shiny object, curious about it and wondering why she had thought to buy it. "What is it?" she asked without thinking.

"What?" he said with wide eyes. "It's the vintage kunai you had me track down... Don't you remember searching for it? I think it was a present for someone. It was very very difficult to find."

"Present?" she repeated again, staring at the ceramic white handle with the symbols on it. The blade looked less than new, and she wondered who she had bought it for. "Oh...yes, of course. What do I owe you for it?"

"You already paid! We started looking for it a year ago. I guess I thought you'd be more excited to see it."

"Oh no, I am. I'm sorry. My head just isn't right today," she laughed softly but it seemed more forced than anything.

The shop owner folded the box shut again and handed it Sakura, who tucked it under an arm. She said a pleasant thank you for allowing her to browse, and then politely left.

Kicking the stones up as she walked, she began to feel some frustration over an endless number of questions and mysteries that kept popping up. Who was the kunai for now? Each new question was making her tired. She didn't want to know anymore.

In the end of her wanderings, she turned down a street to find herself on the steps of the Tea House and Cafe that Ino had taken her to. It was a large building and beautiful inside. Murals painted the screens between the small open rooms where people gathered for conversation and drinks, and the back of the building held a wall full of windows overlooking a garden filled with cherry trees and a small brook with a wooden bridge. Hues of pale green, white and pearly pink filled the rooms in the forms of cushions and decorations.

Beyond the bridge sat a small house with a pagoda roof and long windows. It had a wooden door and was quite tiny compared to the immense building she was in now. She assumed that was for the proper tea ceremonies.

"Were you here with the Yasaka party?" a woman asked Sakura, who was straining around a wall to have a better look at everything. She looked up at the woman who couldn't be more than thirty. Her long brown hair was pin-straight and exquisite, falling down her back in a long soft curtain. Her yukata was a sky blue with lilies down one side and on one sleeve. She had the most lovely dark eyes.

"Oh, no," Sakura said apologetically. "I'm alone."

The woman winked. "I'm sure that's your choice," she laughed softly and motioned for Sakura to follow her. As they wandered along the tatami mats, the woman found a small open room with cushions on the floor and a low table between them, waving Sakura in.

"What may I get you?" she asked.

"Just...uh..."

"Tea?" the woman laughed. "You seem a little lost. Are you all right?"

Was she all right? It took a moment for Sakura to actually contemplate that. She probably wasn't all right by any means. The only job she knew, she'd just quit, and her past was a jumbled confusion of bits and pieces of men she may or may not have been intimate with. And certainly, intimacy with Kakashi was not as unappealing as with Sasuke. Somewhere in the back of her mind she could see Sasuke frowning at her with the slight downturn of the corner of his lips, just like at the fire when she confessed her interest in Kakashi. Sasuke seemed to be the only one to believe her. Perhaps he knew something on that account.

But asking him to tell her about Kakashi was just not going to happen.

"I'll take that silent, frantic look as a no," the woman chuckled. "You look like you could use some company."

"I'm sorry. I've just had a bad couple of days," Sakura managed, getting comfortable on the cushions and leaning heavily on her elbow on the table.

"Let me get you some tea, on the house."

Sakura nodded and took a deep breath as the woman wandered away, and was back again just as quickly. She slid into the intimate space, placed the small tea cups and the matching intricately painted pot on a ceramic plate on the table and then sat down herself in a graceful and careful manner.

"I thought you could use some company. I'm Na. I own this place."

"Oh, thanks," Sakura mumbled, unsure if she really did want company. "I'm Sakura."

"What made your day so bad, Sakura?" Na asked sweetly, gracefully pouring the light coloured green tea into Sakura's cup and then into her own.

"I just quit this job... and I'll probably get in trouble for it... now that I think about it." A sigh poured from Sakura's lips out over the cup in front of her. She looked at the few tiny dark leaves floating around in it before they slowly descended to the bottom.

"Will your husband be angry?" Na asked, placing an open hand under the bottom of her cup and two fingers at the rim, sipping it with a small tip. Everything Na did looked so refined and proper to Sakura. Every movement seemed thoughtful and delicate, purposeful.

"I'm not married," Sakura laughed. "I don't even have a boyfriend."

Na smiled and set her cup down. "I can't believe that. A beautiful girl like you must have men lined up to be your lover."

Sakura smiled back, but only politely. She wasn't about to tell this woman whom she'd just met that she was in love with an older man who begrudgingly kept her at arms length. She didn't want to think about Kakashi at the moment, because he would probably be uncomplimentary about her quitting. She wasn't sure how she knew that, but she figured he wouldn't be pleased. Kakashi seemed to have a plan that Sakura was supposed to stick to which included staying out of his bed.

Show up for work, don't get into trouble, and don't tempt him. It was completely the opposite of what she wanted. Of course, he seemed to be all right with breaking rules when she was drunk, most likely because he figured she wouldn't remember. But still, he kissed her back - even if it was fairly innocent.

"No one? Well at least you don't owe anyone anything regarding this job you quit then." Na poured herself another cup and Sakura realized she hadn't paid enough attention to see that she should be drinking. Gently, she picked up the cup and tried to be as delicate about it as Na.

"I don't know what to do. I was happy when I quit, but now I'm just worried."

Na grinned again, picking up her second cup, closing her eyes and holding the tea just under her lips. "I dont think you should concern yourself with it. If you don't have a partner to be accountable to, then whose business it is that you quit or not?"

Sakura's brow creased and she set her undrunk cup of tea down. "It seems my business is everyone's business lately. Someone will come to scold me. I feel like a child now." She stared at the refection of the lights in the liquid.

"Have some tea, Sakura. It'll make you feel better. You look like a grown woman to me, so if I were you, I wouldn't let anyone push me around," Na said happily.

Sakura felt like she was sitting with a bartender, but enjoyed having someone tell her she didn't have to care who got upset by her decisions. It was nice to have unrestrained support. Of course, the small moment of comfort quickly came to a halt when she looked up over her small cup to see a familiar lazy form leaning on the post next to their booth.

"Hatake Kakashi," Na said smoothly. "What brings you to my tea house?" A wide grin displayed all of Na's beautiful perfect white teeth and Kakashi's eye creased happily in response.

"I was looking for a friend and happened to find my way in here," he replied in that lazy tone he always had.

"Join us, as long as Sakura doesn't mind," Na said in a tone that Sakura didn't much like. It suddenly occurred to Sakura that Kakashi and Na must have known each other in some way before tonight and Na's purr was making it out to be more than she wanted to know.

"I don't mind," Sakura mumbled, knowing full well the friend was probably her and he was more likely on an errand than a pleasant visit.

Kakashi's visible eye went from Na to Sakura and back again. He hesitated before choosing to sit down on the pillows next to Na, who shifted herself right over beside him as tightly as she could get. Immediately, Sakura felt her face get hot and her shoulders tighten.

"This is a nice surprise, Kakashi-kun. Let me get you a cup and you can have some tea with us," Na purred, practically crawling over Kakashi to slide out from the table. She put her long fingers on his far shoulder and then ran them through the back of his hair while she asked, "The usual?" And then winked.

Sakura didn't like the way Na was looking at Kakashi and she suddenly felt like a third wheel. How much worse could things get today, she pondered as she dropped her eyes to her cup on the table. Normally, seeing him would bring unrestrained happiness, but after her deeds this morning at the hospital, she felt more like he was her disciplinarian.

"Ah," Kakashi replied to Na, looking slightly embarrassed.

Na trailed away with a happy backwards glance and Sakura knew it would only be for a moment. She waited for the scolding and wasn't disappointed when she looked up to find Kakashi's visible eye locking on hers.

"Tsunade sent me to find you," he mumbled, scratching at something under his mask. "She's upset."

"Do we have to talk about this now?" Sakura hissed quietly over the table. "I've had a bit of a shitty day."

"She asked around about what had happened on your shifts and got some answers. It'll be fine when you go back. The Hokage said she'd assign you to a different floor. You'll like it better," he mumbled absently, watching Na wander back to the table with a telling grin on her face, all for him.

"I'm not going back," Sakura grumbled, looking away from him while Na shifted back down beside Kakashi, slipping an arm around his shoulder to get close, practically sitting on his lap. She then poured a cup of tea for him with her other hand, and after setting the pot down, held his cup up as if offering him more than just a drink.

It all looked too intimate for Sakura and her lips tightened into a tense line. "You two know each other?" she asked with some forced pleasantness.

"We go way back," Na laughed confidently, relinquishing the cup in her hand to Kakashi, who set it straight down.

"I see," Sakura ground through closed teeth. Na's arm was slung around Kakashi's back and her fingers played softly with some of his hair along the nape of his neck.

"Kakashi, take your mask down for us. Sakura could use some cheering up," Na teased, running her fingers along the top of the fabric. She turned her pretty face to Sakura. "It takes quite a bit of work to get him to show you his face, Sakura, but when he does, it's worth it."

"Na..." Kakashi warned gently but it was too late.

Sakura's hands clenched so tightly, she almost punctured the skin. Her jaw hurt from gritting her teeth and she felt like she was ready to explode. Hot with jealousy, she stood up, grabbing up the kunai box and her white hospital coat a little too roughly. "I'll leave you two alone," she strained angrily while glancing at the couple cozied up on the other side. "You can tell Tsunade I won't be back." Then she took two steps towards the door.

"Just a second..." Kakashi said quietly, reaching out and catching Sakura's wrist before she could storm out. He'd had to reach behind Na to grab her and just that little fact made Sakura even angrier. "Don't you think we should talk about your actions today?"

She looked down at both people staring up at her intently and tried hard to articulate her disappointment. Her voice was unusually quiet, but no less angry. "I really needed more from you today than just a hand-slap, Kakashi. Now let go of me." She jerked her hand out Kakashi's grip and stomped out, feeling rejected and embarrassed.

Sakura flew out the Cafe door, not watching which direction she was going but just feeling the desperation to get away. Kakashi wasn't unaware of Sakura's feelings, so she felt even more betrayed by the fact that he'd let the woman crawl over him, touch him – right in front of her! Support was what she needed from him, not condescension and unwarranted disapproval. It was so much worse that he was the deliverer of that message, and the situation in which it was delivered made it sting painfully.

She believed if she could cry, she'd be sobbing by now.

Clearing the street, she cut through a park, stumbling in the darkness until she reached the next road. All the while, she mumbled to herself about damn ninja and their loose ways. She'd never forgive him for doing that to her – flirting with Na right there when she needed him. Why would he do that? It was like a deliberate attempt to push her away, make her hate him. He chose to sit with her, for goodness sake!

There was almost no one on the streets and Sakura continued to hurry along, gripping the box tightly to her chest, her white coat tucked tightly under her arm. When her own street came into view, she was minutely relieved and after flying into her apartment, she slammed the door shut so hard a picture fell off her wall.

As she tugged at her shoes, hopping a little and tossing them to the floor in an uncharacteristic lack of alignment, someone knocked at the door. Sakura couldn't possibly imagine it was Kakashi and that he'd followed her home as he seemed busy, so when she swung the door back open with narrowed eyes, she wasn't terribly surprised to find Ino standing there on her step. The anger left her face as if draining away.

"Hi," Sakura said apologetically, knowing what she must have looked like.

"Wow, you look pissed. I heard your door slam from down the street. What's wrong?" Ino asked, stepping into the apartment and grabbing Sakura by the shoulders.

Sakura opened her mouth to speak, ready to spill the whole horrible day, but looked at Ino's wide blue eyes and didn't want to burden her with the problems she was having. It wasn't fair and it wasn't going to help. "Want a drink?" Sakura sighed.

"You know I do," Ino laughed. "Then you'll tell me what's wrong, okay?"

With a perfunctory nod, Sakura mulled over to her small kitchen and put her white coat over a chair and the box on the table. Then she opened the cupboard over the fridge. A number of liquor bottles sat there shining with golden liquid and she raised her eyebrows at Ino in question.

"Go for the vodka," Ino sniffed, smirking a little.

And without hesitation, Sakura had the bottle out, followed by two glasses. "Orange juice?"

Ino shook her head, making her blond ponytail flip over her shoulder. "Just rocks. I'm a hardass," she laughed.

Dumping a couple of ice cubes in both glasses, Sakura wandered to the back of her apartment, holding them and the bottle, nodding to the window. "Roof?"


A light breeze blew across the rooftop and Ino was grateful for the long-sleeved jounin shirt that she almost never wore. It was a little too large on her, likely because it belonged to a man and she'd acquired it one morning after waking up to find all the buttons of her shirt scattered around his wooden floor. Definitely a night she'd never forget.

It had been a couple of days since she'd last seen Sakura. Their frantic search of the village made her feel like the worst friend possible because they'd left her there in the forest alone when they'd ran off. Stupid Naruto and his challenges. It was typical of them to rise to it when they were all drunk. No one was thinking straight.

She wanted to tell Sakura she was sorry, and that the last time they were all together, Sakura had won the run to the guard tower and back. It seemed like a million years ago that Sakura lived that life. The pink-haired medic had stood in front of the fire, victorious, and swigged the last bit of the whiskey from the bottle like a man on a bender. When she finished, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and said "ah!" like it was refreshing.

This Sakura looked lost to Ino. Her face was so flushed and angry when she'd opened the door, but after she realized that it wasn't who she'd expected, her countenance shifted to sadness. Ino just wanted to hug Sakura and tell her that no matter what, everything would be the same, but it wasn't. It could never be the same until Sakura's memories came back.

"You've still got the chairs up here. Perfect!" Ino acknowledged, picking the closest one and falling into it. She gazed out at the illuminated Hokage mountain, the faces looking down on all the village and the shadows looming under their eyes. She'd brought up the glasses and bottle so that Sakura wouldn't have to climb the ladder with something in her hands. Ino had calmly walked up the side of the building and felt bad after as if she was showing off.

Sakura slumped into the other chair and reached for the glass next to it, holding it out as Ino poured some vodka into it.

"Okay. Spill it. You looked so pissed when you opened the door. I want details. Whose ass should I be kicking?" Ino snorted, trying so hard to lighten the mood. She was never one for depression or wallowing in self-pity. Really, Sakura never was either.

"I appreciate the offer, Ino, but it's complicated. I think I'm getting mad about things I have no right to be mad about," Sakura mumbled, sipping her vodka and hissing a little with the burn on her tongue.

"I can't tell you if you're right or wrong unless you tell me," the blond prodded, her eyebrows raised.

Sakura shook her head as if clearing some annoying thoughts away. "Sasuke thought you'd know the personal stuff about me. Can you...tell me who I've slept with?"

"What?" Ino laughed, but when she glanced at her friend, she saw Sakura's mouth tighten. "S..sorry. I just didn't expect that question."

"It wasn't easy to ask," Sakura whispered.

"Sorry," Ino said again, more sincerely. "What brought this on?"

"I had a memory flash yesterday. I get this horrible pain in my head and then I see things. I just want to know if what I saw was the whole story," Sakura said, almost too eager for information.

Ino turned to look out at the lights again, wondering exactly what to tell Sakura. She'd known her a long time, longer than any of her team, but there were things that Ino believed Sakura didn't even confide in her.

"I know you aren't a virgin, Sakura. And I know that something happened with Sasuke that made you have a falling out with him. You never told me you slept with him, but there were things you said a long time ago that made me wonder if there wasn't something sexual that happened."

"Like what?" Sakura jolted up in her chair right to the edge to stare at Ino.

"Well, you mentioned that he kissed you...too roughly. And...you said he wasn't gentle...or patient."

"Shit," Sakura mumbled, slumping back in her chair and taking a long drink of the vodka, hissing again from the taste. She looked dejected, almost mortified.

Trying quickly to make her feel better, Ino rambled,"You never said you had intercourse with him, Sakura. It could have just been a little foreplay. Maybe it was a drunken kiss, or maybe it was..."

"Well, if I'm not a virgin, then who was I sleeping with?"

Ino shrugged. "You didn't really tell me. I always suspected that you and Naruto had actually had sex when you were younger. It was almost impossible to separate you and there was a bond that no one else had with you. You never told me yes or no on that one either. But it was like you two had the same emotions all the time. We've talked about the sex we've had once or twice, Sakura. But we're ninja. Secrets don't come out of us that easily. You never gave me any names."

Sakura finished her drink and grabbed the bottle, pouring another glass right up to the top.

Ino sighed, "I'm sorry, sweetie. I just don't have the answers you want. I wish I did."

"What about Kakashi?" Sakura said evenly, taking another long drink and staring out over the rooftop to some distant tree or perhaps a star above the wall top. She looked forlorn.

Ino felt a small shock at the query and her body instantly tensed. It was another question that she wasn't prepared for. Turning to stare at her fellow kunoichi, Ino found it difficult to find words.

"Ino?" Sakura asked steadily, finally turning to look at her with a flat stare

"You were serious the other night about wanting him..." Ino remarked quietly, locking eyes with Sakura's intense green ones. "Weren't you?"

"I think I'm in love with him," Sakura sighed and sank against the chair back.

"I really don't know about that at all. But if you were sleeping with him, you wouldn't tell anyone. He used to be your team-leader and he's much older than you. I don't think Tsunade would approve either." Ino stood up and paced the roof slowly, the breeze blowing strands of her hair across her face. "You had such a strange relationship with him. You'd always go see him when you got back from missions before seeing anyone else, but then sometimes when you'd see him outside of that, in the street or at HQ, you'd completely ignore him."

"I don't understand." Sakura rubbed her temples and closed her eyes. She looked like she wanted to cry, but Ino found that this Sakura never cried - even when things were so hard to take and she seemed frustrated.

Ino walked over to Sakura and crouched beside her, lifting the medic's empty glass out of her hand and placing it on the small table between the chairs. "If there was anything there, you'd have hidden it from us all. Sasuke and Tsunade wouldn't approve. They wouldn't see it as something they'd expect either of you to do. It's not a big deal to be with an older man or anything, but it's you, Sakura. You're like theirs to protect. Tsunade sees you as a daughter and Sasuke sees you as his, even though you hate him. Only Naruto would understand because he'd want you to be happy – if Kakashi could make you happy. He doesn't really seem like the relationship type."

"What about you?" Sakura asked, leaning forward and grabbing Ino's wrist. Her eyes were wide, and Ino wondered if she'd said too much or too little. "What would you think?" she whispered.

"Me? I'd just want full details. He's probably great in bed." With a smile and a wink, Ino laughed but it was only half-hearted.

Sakura leaned forward and caught her in a tight hug. "Thanks," she whispered, and Ino hugged her back just as tightly.

As much as Ino wanted to, she just couldn't tell her that she thought her friend was in for heartache with the path she was choosing. But if it would make her happy, Ino would always root for it to work out.


I'm sorry on the delay on this. I re-wrote it probably 4 times with different people showing up at her apartment in the end. I've got the story where I need it to be so there shouldn't be too many more chapters. Thanks for reading. I didn't get a chance to answer the reviews, and I apologize. Thanks for all your wonderful and supportive comments.

More much sooner this time.