A/N: Another late update! I'm the worst. Also, brief use of an OC, but she sucks and isn't important, so it's okay. We all know that I don't own Buffy or Monopoly. Also, in the last chapter, there's a vague reference about Dawn being in school even though it's July, so instead of going back and fixing that, I've decided that Dawn is in summer school now. When I started this fic, I had no clue where I was going with it, hence the vague title, and I'm considering changing the title before I get further in...ideas are welcome!
Early August 2002
"So let me get all this straight, Buffy," her new therapist, Jill, said.
"Yeah?"
"You're a slayer."
"Yeah. The Slayer, actually. The Chosen One, She-Who-Hangs-Out-In-Cemeteries, all that."
"And your life's mission is to fight the forces of darkness and slay vampires."
"Mhmm, something like that."
"And you've been in...two romantic relationships with a couple of the most notorious vampires in recorded history?"
Buffy had tried to give Jill a pretty simple rundown of her life up till now, but the woman was clearly struggling. Giles and Willow had told her that Jill was reasonably familiar with the supernatural, enough that she wouldn't freak if Buffy was honest with her, but they were 30 minutes into their session and it was already quite an ordeal. "Okay, in my defense, Angel had a soul and Spike was chipped, so they didn't pose any real threat. Also, like I said, it sowasn't a romantic thing with Spike."
Jill ignored the latter part of her answer and continued. "Until Angel lost his soul and went evil, and Spike tried to assault you?" Buffy was quiet for a moment. Nothing Jill was saying was incorrect, exactly, but Buffy felt like she was kind of missing the point. "I'm sorry for putting it so bluntly, Buffy," Jill sighed. "It's just...this is a lot. This is high-stakes stuff. They didn't cover this when I was getting my marriage and family counselor certification."
"What are you saying? What do you mean?" Buffy asked, noticing a shrill note in her own voice. She tried to continue in a more measured, even tone. "Will says you've been helping her a lot, and she's like, the most powerful witch in the modern world and she killed people and stuff. How is that any less normal than me?"
"If I can be honest with you―this is completely confidential, of course―Willow's problems are fairly mundane. You're right, she has incredible supernatural power. But at her core, she's just a regular girl who got in over her head with addiction, who struggles with feelings of guilt and inadequacy, who had a hard breakup. You've got the weight of the world on your shoulders, you've been taken out of heaven, you've had experiences and loves that most of us can't begin to fathom."
Buffy stared at her for a moment, and when she spoke, her voice was shaky and tears were beginning to fill her eyes. "Are you saying you can't help me?"
Jill sighed. "I'm just not sure what I can do for you, Buffy. You're a lovely girl, and I want to help you out, but unlike with Willow there's not much I can draw on from regular human therapy to understand where you're coming from." Tears streamed down Buffy's face, and Jill leaned over to give her arm a reassuring touch. "Shh, shh. I don't mean to upset you. Your experiences and your concerns are so valid and important. But I'm not the one to help you."
Buffy seized onto the sliver of hope contained in that last sentence, implying maybe there was someone out there who could help her, fix her. "Who can help me then? Is there anyone?"
"You need someone with my abilities," Jill said thoughtfully, "...But more intimate knowledge of your world. Maybe you'll find somebody, maybe you won't." Buffy didn't know what to say to this and stared down at her own hands folded in her lap. The two sat in silence for a few moments until Jill gently picked up her hands. "Here. The least I can do for you is some simple energy healing―it should help your mood and clear your mind a bit.
Willow picked up her home phone on the second ring. "Hello?"
"YOUR THERAPIST JUST BROKE UP WITH ME, WILL."
"Buffy? Is that you? What is going on?"
"Yes, it's me, damn it, and she broke up with me. She said, like, my problems were beyond her and she couldn't help me." Buffy's tone was angry, aggressive, but Willow could detect a smidgen of fear and disappointment under it all. It had really been a step for her to open up to anybody, and she and Giles had had such high hopes.
"Oh, Buffy―"
"Am I really that messed up?" Buffy asked, her voice cracking. Willow could hear her start to cry on the other end and wished she was there in person to comfort her. Instead, she settled for soothing words and her best attempt at sympathy.
Tara and Anya had taken up cooking together. It hadn't been much of a conscious decision, but they were both pretty decent at it and didn't mind the work, and it had become a little domestic ritual in their apartment. Tara didn't quite know how Anya felt about it, but Tara loved it-she'd had trouble making friends, especially female friends, her whole life, and she missed the routines she used to have when she lived with Willow and Dawn in the Summers house. This was like both of those things, and Tara couldn't have been more thrilled to be cutting vegetables.
"So, what's going on around the shop? Anything interesting today?" Tara didn't mind the comfortable silence that sometimes built up around the two of them, but she also knew Anya wasn't one to volunteer information without being asked.
"Not much," Anya said. "A customer tried to haggle down our price on the ground crow beaks." Tara tried not to think about what anybody could possibly need that for. "She said she could get them cheaper at her other source, and I told her, 'If our shop is such an inconvenience for you, why don't you just leave and go buy from somebody else?' She shut up and just bought from us."
"Good for you! You're a good businesswoman."
Anya looked at her conspiratorially and lowered her voice a little. "She didn't really have another source. I'd know about it, and anyway, she was just trying to get me to crack on our prices."
"Uh, yeah, I got that part," Tara told her. "But thanks for spelling it out for me. So, what's new with the Scoobies?" She tried to keep her tone light. Definitely not fishing for information on Willow. Not here.
"Oh! I've got something good. I heard from Giles, who heard from Willow, who heard from Buffy, that even Buffy's new therapist thought she was a piece of work and decided not to keep working with her." Anya laughed, clearly finding this all very amusing.
Tara's reaction was much different. "Oh my goodness, how awful. She can't have really said that, could she?"
Anya shrugged. "I may have paraphrased a bit. But that was the gist."
Tara rolled her eyes and hit Anya lightly on the arm. "You're terrible."
"Just telling it like I see it," Anya said blithely. "Yeah, I guess she just thought Buffy's problems were all kind of beyond her. She was weirded out by the Slayer stuff. Apparently Willow's brand of messed up is at least semi-human, but Buffy's is way more out there."
"I guess so," Tara reluctantly agreed. "Still, that's awful for Buffy. She's been through so much; I really was hoping she'd be able to get some help." The two continued to cook quietly for a bit, moving around the kitchen in tandem. Tara decided now would be a good time to talk about what had been bothering her so much since she'd had lunch with Dawn last week. "Anya, I've kind of been thinking about something," she started, in a low, hesitant tone.
"Oh, God, I knew this was coming," Anya said, flinging her hands into the air.
Tara, genuinely very puzzled, had no idea what she was getting at. "Um, what? I don't think I've mentioned this particular thing to you before?" And unless Anya had suddenly gotten a lot better at picking up on people's feelings, there was no way she'd noticed Tara's ennui or lack of purpose.
"You're making a move on me," Anya stated, as if it were a clear fact. "I get it, and it's okay, and I'd even experiment with you, but at the end of the day I think I'm pretty straight."
Tara wasn't sure whether to be indignant or amused. "Anya, what? What have I possibly said or done to give you that idea?" Anya shrugged. "Just because I'm lesbian doesn't mean I automatically want to hook up with you. It doesn't work like that."
"I'll have you know that I've been considered quite a catch in my time."
"Oh, for the love of God, shut up. I seriously have a thing I want to talk about, but rest assured, it's not about you." Tara was getting frustrated, but she appreciated that Anya was a person she felt comfortable speaking so bluntly to.
"Okay. Go for it."
"So, I've kind of started to realize..." Tara paused, trying to figure out how to word it. "...that I don't have a life."
"You're just now figuring this out?" Anya asked her. Tara couldn't tell if she was joking, and decided to ignore it.
"I mean that I kind of live my life around other people. For other people. I don't have something totally for myself. And I guess that's selfish, but I want something that's just for me that I can care about and strive towards." Tara fought the urge to chastise herself as soon as the words left her mouth. She'd been raised in a life of deference to other people, and sometimes it still felt evil, wrong, to put herself first.
To her surprise, Anya's response was soft, reassuring. "That's not selfish at all, Tara. That's normal. I mean, I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have the shop to keep me busy."
Tara smiled happily, relieved that her friend understood. "Yeah, exactly. It's like that. I want to do something with my skills to support myself, make a place in the world."
"What were you thinking of doing?"
"See...that's where I need help. I have various things that I can do that I know are useful, but I just don't know how to turn that into something concrete. I know a lot about witchcraft, and have a good grasp on theory even if I don't have the raw power that witches like Willow do. I can do a variety of white magic, light charms, healing, all that. And I have the Sight, so I can see auras, among other things."
"You have the Sight?" Anya said, clearly impressed. "You can really see auras?" Sometimes Tara forgot, but Anya had more life experience and knowledge than the rest of the Scoobies combined. She had a real appreciation for magical history that the others didn't.
Tara nodded. "Yeah. I guess even among witches, the Sight is pretty rare. Willow doesn't have it, actually. That's one of the only powers I've got that she doesn't have." She said this with the tiniest touch of pride in her voice.
"Hey, nice," Anya said appreciatively. "Oooh. What's my aura look like right now?"
"Well, when you were a demon, the colors were all muted, dark―and it's hard to explain, but I can feel them, too. There was an uncomfortable buzzing sensation if I focused in on it too hard. But that's all gone now. Most of the time it's this beautiful, vibrant scarlet color, although no one's is just one color or always the same. There's more pink in it right now than there is usually."
Anya looked fascinated, her mouth slightly agape. "And what's that mean?"
"You're relaxed. Your guard is down." Anya appeared to ponder this for a moment, and Tara laughed. "Anya, it's 'cause you're cooking dinner with your friend and just hanging out. Don't overanalyze it too much."
"That's a pretty cool skill to have. You could definitely profit off of it."
"See, that's where I need your help. I don't know anything about profits or turning something like this into a business."
"Oh, you can turn anything into a business," Anya reassured her. "And in a place like Sunnydale, white magic is a hot commodity. Um, probably start with what Giles did with the Magic Box and put an ad in the phone book? And we can start telling clients about you over there."
"Would you really?" Tara asked, delighted. "That's amazing. Thank you!"
Anya turned to her and smiled, a rare glimmer of softness and affection shining in her eyes. "What are friends for?"
Giles had never seen anybody play Monopoly so efficiently, let alone somebody who hadn't known what Monopoly was until an hour ago. Evenings were getting slow in the Magic Box, and while he knew that wasn't exactly his concern anymore, he was drawn to the shop anyway. He told himself that it was entirely about concern and affection for the shop itself, not a certain shopkeeper. In any case, his lessons with Willow were only so long, and there was only so much he could do to help out with the shop, so he'd decided to teach Anya Monopoly.
He'd suspected it would be right up her alley, what with her fondness for capitalism, and he had been right. He had not anticipated how good she would be at it.
"So...now I own Park Place and Boardwalk. Those are the lucrative ones, right? Does that mean I win?"
"You still have to bankrupt me, Anya," he told her, knowing very well that he was minutes away from bankruptcy.
"That's just a technicality." They played another few rounds, and sure enough, he lost by a landslide. "It's okay, Rupert. We can't all be good with finances," she said, patting him consolingly on the shoulder.
"I'll have you know that this was just a practice round to teach you how to play the game, and that things become quite different when multiple players are involved," he informed her. "Tara!"
Tara, sitting on the far end of the shop, looked up and smiled. She was working on drafts for a new business or something she was starting, something Anya had helped her with. "Yes, Giles?"
"Would you like to be a third participant in our next round of Monopoly?"
She shrugged. "Sure, but I don't think that's going to stop Anya from winning." At this, Anya smiled triumphantly.
"Don't be so sure of yourself," he told her, in a way that might have been menacing had he not been, well, himself. He began to clean up the game pieces and reorganize them for another round when the phone rang.
"Hello! This is Rupert Giles at the Magic Box, your one-stop-spot for-"
"Rupert." The voice on the other end was gravelly, grim, and if Giles wasn't mistaken, the absolute last person he wanted to hear from right now. "It's Quentin. There's a great danger coming, and we need you in England to convene with the Council as soon as possible."
