"…so by the time I figure out what the hell is going on, Rowen is screaming his ass off, there are cops everywhere, and they're all like, 'Get down on the fucking ground! Get the fuck down!' And I'm like –"
"What are you two doing here?" Thorin's stern voice cut Zo's captivating tale short.
Zo sighed heavily at the interruption as Stella cocked her head and furrowed her brows at Thorin. She adjusted the packed bag on her back uncomfortably, already missing the backpack she arrived with. Elrohir had assured her that the one he gave her would be more suitable for traveling but it was the principle of the idea. She arrived one way and she still had miles to go before she was finished but it already felt like everything about her was being erased. Those were the thoughts that plagued her as she and Zo walked the path that the dwarves obviously were on.
They had left only an hour or so after the Company did. The Company wasn't exactly crafty in their departure. Stella could still see them trailing along the edge of a mountainside from a balcony window when Elladan burst into the room to announce that he had heard from Lindir about the missing dwarves. He was still rambling away to Zo when Stella noticed Bilbo turning back. For a moment, she thought he was staring right at her as Bofur pat him on the back and turned back with a glance of his own. She fought the urge to wave as they both turned away at Thorin's call.
After Elladan informed them about the Company, Stella and Zo were left alone in their room again. Zo had played one last song that was brief but sweet, like a relationship that was passionate but doomed to fail, for her but he could not bring himself to play longer. With the violin packed away, they sat together in silence until Gandalf arrived. He shut the door quietly behind them before pulling up a seat between them.
"I suggest waiting another thirty minutes before following," he spoke softly. "They took the mountain road. They will not expect you to follow so they will not be traveling in stealth. It should be easy for you to find them."
"Should be?" Zo repeated with a small glare.
Before Gandalf could reply, Stella interrupted, "Ignore him. We're both a bit...unwilling to go. But we will."
Gandalf peered at them both carefully before nodding slowly. He eventually left to return to the clutches of Saruman. Stella did not envy him on that. She had no idea what he would be up to for the next few days until he arrived in the goblin caves but she had a feeling Gandalf would be shaking off the White Wizard for a while.
The good thing about leaving later was the opportunity for Stella and Zo to say their own goodbyes to the twins. Their well-wishes were bittersweet as they knew that Zo would never see them again. Elladan had become more than a trainer to Zo. Whenever Stella was off with Dwalin or Bilbo, Zo would spend all of his time with the twins. She doubted they replaced Zo's best friend, Rowan, from home but they came very close. Neither of them told the twins of who they were or where they came from, but Elladan and Elrohir seemed to sense how permanent their goodbyes were. Stella fiddled with the clasp of the dark blue cloak they gave her as the twins gathered Zo into a tight group hug. When Elladan and Zo were still embracing, Elrohir let go to tackle Stella into a new little hug.
Elladan and Elrohir were wonderfully mischievous. Their nature gave Stella and Zo the promise that they would hold off Lindir and Elrond once they left. It was a shame that Stella wasn't able to at least tell Elrond goodbye. She was rather fond of the Elven lord. She had a feeling he was rather fond of her, as well, especially after he caught her telling off the dwarves when she found them rambunctiously jumping in and defacing one of the large fountains. Naked. But discretion was necessary. She tried to keep her optimism up by telling herself that maybe one day, after Lorenzo was gone, she would return and see Elrond and the twins again.
Finding the trail the dwarves were one was easy enough. They clearly did not step lightly. All along their path were the footprints of heavy boots. When they first found the trail, Stella sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of her nose. It was no wonder those damn orcs found them so easily. She would have to have a talk about it with Dwalin.
Stella was content with trailing after them in silence. Zo was too until about an hour into walking. It was only then that he started catching her up on his life since the last time they had saw each other when they were at home. He was in the middle of a story that Stella was about 75% sure was completely fabricated when they finally caught up with Thorin's Company.
"Just taking a morning stroll," she answered amiably with a shrug to Thorin's inquiry.
"Did I not tell you to refrain from following us?" he voice lowered as he took a step forward.
"Well, dear Thorin," Stella grinned cheekily as she and Zo stepped past the Company, "as we are now in front and you behind, you are the ones following us. Stalkers. Naughty."
"So, anyway," Zo continued before Thorin could say anymore, "Rowen is screaming and the cops are yelling and everyone else was just, like, watching. And I was like, 'God...again?' All in all, it was a typical Thursday."
"Super typical," Stella nodded. "Sounds like my usual Monday, really."
There was some grumbling going on behind them but Stella and Zo had barely made it around the curve of the hill before there was the sound of dwarves following behind. As they caught up, Stella heard the signature heavy steps of a certain dwarf coming up behind them quickly.
"I knew you would follow," Dwalin said disapprovingly, although his eyes were lit in amusement.
"Is that why it was so easy to find your path?" she tsked. "No wonder those orcs keep finding you. For shame, Dwalin, for shame."
"What do you mean, easy?" he demanded to know.
At once, Stella and Zo stopped to turn and raise their brows at him. They waited as the rest of the Company walked past before Stella stared pointedly at the mess left behind. Stella and Zo were by no means trackers but even they could see the heavy footprints left in the bent grass, the broken branches, and crushed leaves left behind. Dwalin heaved a sighed and rubbed a calloused hand through his dark hair.
"Dwarrows by no means tread lightly. But even we could avoid this." His hand moved down to stroke his beard in contemplation as his left hand rested on the axe hanging from his belt. "Not even halfway there and our laziness is getting the best of us. Shameful, if even you could easily find us."
"Oi," Stella lightly smacked his shoulder with the back of her hand.
His lips twitched, albeit barely. But he remained solemn as they slowly trailed after the Company. The Company had yet to realize anything was going on behind them, though Thorin and Bilbo would periodically turn around to see what was happening with the last three people trailing slowly behind them.
"I'll talk to Thorin about this," Dwalin muttered as he quickened his pace to catch up to his king.
As soon as Dwalin was at the front of the group, Bilbo quickly ducked from under Fili and Kili's arms and backpedaled to walk in-between Stella and Zo. She immediately pulled Bilbo in by his neck and buried her nose into his curls. He begrudgingly accepted the treatment, even briefly nuzzling back into her, before he regained his senses and waved her away.
"You horrid girl, you let me believe that last night really was goodbye," he scolded.
"Well, it was. It was goodbye until the morning," Stella remarked.
Bilbo huffed. "That's not what I thought and you know it!"
"I did say we would see each other again. I pinky promised."
The hobbit pouted so adorably that Stella couldn't help but coo over him, making him angrier. After he stomped away, Stella glanced up to see Zo already peering down at her. She mischievously grinned as he smirked and threw an arm around her shoulders. She really had been spending too much time with him. Before she met Zo, Stella never realized how much fun pushing other people's buttons was. Poor Bilbo for being Stella's center of attention. But she knew he loved it. He was used to Fili and Kili, after all. Speaking of which...
She tugged on Zo's hand and forcefully pulled him forward and pushed him to the side until the last group in the Company formed a line with Stella and Zo on the outside with Kili, Bilbo, and Fili in the middle. Bilbo huffed in exasperation but said nothing at all. Fili and Kili started in surprise when Stella and Zo threw their arms around the dwarves, just as they did to the hobbit between them. Similar expressions overtook their faces as Fili soaked in Zo's stoic face and Kili slightly leaned away from Stella's grin. Zo had a point when he said that a few of dwarves in the Company were taller than her but she was a little satisfied that at the very least, she was an inch or so taller than Kili.
"Fili and Kili," Stella breathed out. "It's thrilling to finally be able to speak with you."
"Thrilling?" Fili asked.
"Us?" Kili echoed.
"Oh, yes," Stella nodded. "Who wouldn't be excited? I mean, Fili and Kili. Kili and Fili. The Dwarf Princes who are together so often that their names are rarely, if ever, said separately. Fili and Kili."
"Well, stop that lest you wish to see us blush," Kili smiled cheekily.
"Tell us, Lady," Fili leaned forward to address the woman at the end of the line, "you seem to know us so well but will you not inform us even a little of you?"
Stella blinked at him before throwing Zo a lazy yet slightly impish grin. "Did you hear that, Zo? He called me a Lady."
"You poor, unknowledgeable bastard," Zo shook his head at the fair-haired prince before him. "Use your eyes and you'll see her true form. She's a demon with ombré hair."
"That's no way to talk of a lady," Stella said snootily but could not hide her amusement. "Bilbo, go kick him for me."
"Oh, because that's ladylike," Zo rolled his eyes.
"Silence, peasant," she wrinkled her nose up at him. With a small wink, she turned away to look upon the bemused Fili. "What would you like to know?"
"Gandalf said you were a Seer. Long has it been since one roamed the lands. Do you know of the outcome of our quest?" he asked immediately.
"Will you not tell us? Or Thorin, at the least?" Kili jumped in eagerly.
Before Stella could even think about being irritated with that damn dwarf or that beloved wizard – for heaven's sake, was there nobody he hadn't told? – Bilbo waved them away and shoved himself between her and Kili to act as a barrier. She had no doubt that anybody paying attention could see how fondly she looked down at Hobbit before her. Blessed Bilbo.
"That'll be enough Seer questions, thank you very much!" He waved away their protestations before turning to the girl with his expression softening. "Yesterday, we were speaking of family. Will you not tell me more of your siblings?"
"My siblings," Stella repeated as she thought about it. "Hmm. Well, let's see. I've told you plenty about Telma. Ruth is older than me by two years. She's studying to be a children's teacher. We usually don't get along because I think she's snooty and she thinks I'm childish."
"If she wants to teach kids, then shouldn't she be glad to be getting plenty of practice with you?" Zo questioned slyly.
Stella's eyes hooded over at his question but she did not retort. Instead, she continued on as Bilbo, Fili, and Kili paid strict attention. "But she's not all bad. I mean, she's my sister. My hero. Even if she is irritating."
She smiled along as the shorter men knowingly chuckled. Fili playfully shoved Kili, who slightly glared before grinning brilliantly. Stella was not the only one who looked on wistfully. She was sure there was more to the story when Bilbo said he was an only child. After all, why would his father build such a large Hobbit hole for his wife and then only end up having one child? The question rang in Stella's mind when Bilbo told her but she didn't dare voice it. Lorenzo's eyes were filled with longing but when his gaze flickered up to meet hers, all expression was replaced with a blank mask. She lamented the loss but there was nothing for her to say. So she kept speaking.
"Uri is the youngest at 15 and he's my only brother. My poor brother and tatay," she laughed. "Stuck in a house with four women."
"Your poor brother?" Zo snapped out his stupor. "My poor mother! One woman with three idiot sons. La mia povera mamma! Mi dispiace per tutti i problemi che abbiamo causato ti."
"Is that the language of your people?" Bilbo perked up. "What did you say it was called, Stella?"
"Italian," Zo answered for her. "The language of the people of Italy, where I was born."
"It's extremely beautiful," Bilbo complimented.
"Thank you," Zo tilted his head in thanks. "It's unfortunate that you'll never hear my Mamma speak it. When she speaks, it is like hearing the angels themselves."
His voice was filled with such sadness that when he did not continue, Bilbo hastily turned to the lone female in the group. When she only shrugged – for what was there she could say or do? – he faltered. Thankfully, the moment was saved by one of the dwarves.
"Where do you hail from, Lady Stella?" Kili asked, purposefully emphasizing the title with a lascivious grin.
She returned the grin as she answered, "I was born in America. But my parents were from the Philippines. They raised my siblings and me to speak their native language, Tagalog, before English. Or Common. Whatever."
"That explains your accent," Kili said bluntly. She furrowed her brows but did not stop the tilting smile. He said nothing more but his brother carried on.
"So you are like us," Fili surmised. "You've never seen your true home – the home of your people."
"America is my home," Stella corrected. "But I have gone to live with relatives in the Philippines before. We usually go every other summer."
"Is it beautiful?"
"It is," she confirmed. "But that never made it home."
Zo seemed to be the only one who understood what Stella was talking about. Although Fili and Kili exchanged similar expressions involving furrowed brows and twisted lips, Bilbo was the one who moved the conversation along. At his behest, Stella was goaded into talking about school and her work. Bilbo, Fili, and Kili made a valiant attempt to bring Zo into the conversation but Lorenzo was always a person who would rather contribute to talks at his own volition and not at the persuasions of others.
They all walked well through the entire day. Stella didn't like the sound of her own whining so she kept complaints of her aching feet to herself. Zo made no mention of his own discomfort but she was sure that his boots were uncomfortable. But, then again, Zo always was far more stubborn than she was.
Thorin decided to settle under a very large tree that offered a great deal of shelter. The sun was setting and cast a golden glow along the green trees. The white clouds were illuminated with bright rays of orange and pink light. Stella spared a smile at the sky that greatly reminded her of home before she was pulled along with Fili and Kili to gather wood for the fire. Zo was left alone with the other dwarves and though he remained for the most part silent, Bofur and Bombur were surprised to gain his assistance in cooking dinner. Appreciative, but still surprised.
As the other dwarves sat around the fire, cheerfully sharing stories, Stella was surprised when Kili asked for a private moment. The glances of a few of the others were speculative but nobody said anything. Zo made it clear who was to become his second companion on the quest as he let out a wolf whistle with a nudge towards the leering Fili. Their grins did not dissipate even when Kili glared their way and Stella sent her friend the apparently universally well-known middle finger.
The two of them left the warmth of the fire to sit across each other under a large tree some distance away. They were well outside hearing distance from the Company but still quite visible. Stella waited patiently as Kili ripped at the grass underneath him. After a small pile of grass built up in front of him, he spoke.
"Earlier, you said your parents' land was beautiful," he began hesitantly, "but you said it wasn't home."
She tilted her head. "Well, it wasn't."
"But shouldn't it have been?"
"Why would it?" Stella didn't understand. "It was my parents' home. It was never mine."
"Aren't you proud of your parents' home?"
"Of course. I'm proud of my heritage. But I'm also proud of where I grew up. I'll always love the Philippines but in my heart, San Diego will always be my first home. I don't know if I'll ever be able to call another place home, to be honest."
At her words, Kili's brow furrowed. Even when his head bowed, she could see the clenching in his jaw. He had resumed tugging at the grass by the roots.
"Kili, what's this about?"
He was silent and for a moment, Stella thought he wouldn't answer. When he did, his voice was far too flippant for her to believe. "Fili and I were raised with stories of Erebor's grandeur. We heard stories all our lives about how one day, the Dwarves would have their home back. I was excited to join the quest, I still am, but…I miss Ered Luin. Not that I am not eager to recover Erebor, of course. It's only - "
"Kili," Stella cut off his rambling by placing cold fingertips over one of his warm hands. "Ered Luin is all you've ever known. There is no shame in calling it home, before or after Erebor."
"I just," he paused to swallow nervously. "It seems like everyone else is feeling like they're heading home and I'm walking further away from mine."
"You are," Stella pointed out. "But that doesn't mean you can't go back. Just think of it as getting Thorin's home back before going back to yours."
"Like Bilbo," his lips twitched into a smile.
"And Zo," she added, though her smile fell away as quickly as his appeared.
"And you," he continued and his grin ever growing.
When she said nothing, he looked up from his piling grass hill and was caught in surprise by the heavy weight of sadness on her face. Everything screamed heartbreak about Stella. He had seen it before.
Kili no longer remembered his father but there were times that he caught his mother by herself and he knew that there could not be anybody else that she would be thinking about. When she thought nobody was paying attention, his amad would sometimes slip from a room to stand at the fireplace. She rarely showed any expression on her face as she stared at the flames so nobody thought anything was wrong for the longest time.
It wasn't until those who knew how to look noticed how her lips pursed and placed a hand on her shoulder, as if holding another hand that wasn't there. Kili had grown up seeing sadness, even if nobody wanted to talk about it.
Stella was not stoic like Kili's amad was. On the contrary, she wore all of her emotions on her face, as if she wanted the world to know what she was feeling. His mother was sturdy and careful; Stella was wispy and reckless. Everything about them was exact opposites. But as Kili took in Stella's hunched over shoulders, the faraway look in her eyes, and how her slender hands twirled around the gemstones on her necklace, all he saw was his mother.
"No," she said so softly that Kili almost missed it. "Not me. Home is behind me now."
Kili glanced back at the crowded fire. Her friend, the tall one, stood out significantly. If it weren't for his height or his clothes, it would be for the way he had his arms folded over his knees and stared over at the two of them with no expression on his face whatsoever. Kili caught his eye immediately and neither of them made any move to look away from each other. Stella's friend seemed to sigh before his eyes flickered towards her. The way he looked upon her was strange. There was fondness, regret, and a small bit of longing, but he did nothing. He did not meet Kili's eyes again; instead, he turned to Fili and continued whatever conversation they were having before.
"Lady Stella?" Kili asked hesitantly.
She abruptly stood up, making him blink in surprise before he scrambled off the floor too. "Nothing I can do about it. The world is ahead."
Even if he had any semblance of an idea of what to say, she did not allow him time to say it. Her strange black and gold hair flicked out behind her as she spun away. She briskly walked back towards the Company. She stepped over Nori's lounging form and bypassed Bilbo, whose assessing gaze matched Thorin's as they watched her walk through the camp, before she sat by Zo's feet. She kept her back to the rest of the Company as she folded her arms over her friend's knees and buried her head in his lap. He did not deviate from his conversation with Fili, though his long fingers immediately began to stroke through her hair.
Fili glanced at the young woman before him before he turned to look back at Kili in curiosity. Kili had yet to make his way back from the safety of the tall tree. He slightly shook his head at his brother as the fingers in his pocket lightly stroked the token his amad had given him before he left. Like Zo, Fili did nothing and turned back to the conversation, leaving Kili feeling slightly lost yet relieved.
Italian translations:
La mia povera mamma! Mi dispiace per tutti i problemi che abbiamo causato ti – My poor mother! I'm sorry for all the trouble we have caused you
Khuzdul translations:
Amad – mother
Tagalog translations:
Tatay – dad
