[Disclaimer] I don't own the Zelda series, Higurashi, or anything else! All credit goes to the creators!

[Author's Note] Sorry about any typos and other writing errors.

(Chapter Seven – Being A Glade Spray Tester Stinks!)

Just today, Link got mail from these people who were making new and improved Glade Spray scents. The brochure he received was basically asking did he want to be the aroma tester or not, and Link really wanted to try this out. It also stated that he had to bring a friend, and he already knew who he was going to ask. Once he talked to Rika about it, she liked the idea herself and decided to go along with him. The catalog promised to have new fragrances so good smelling that it could probably kill you.

These people must have been very proud and confident in their Glade Sprays. When he told Aryll about it, she thought it was stupid and pointless to even try out. She also pointed out that they didn't seem like they were going to get paid for this. That ticked Rika off, but Link did not mind doing it for free at all. His grandmother thought it was a wonderful idea, but she warned them not to inhale too much of the stuff. After everything was settled, the two began to set sail out into the Great Sea. Rika was sitting in the front of the boat, and Link was in the back of the vessel as he was steering it.

"I can already smell the crisp scents in my nostrils," sighed the girl as she fluttered her eyes, her hands on her cheeks.

Her male friend smiled and replied with a laugh, "Yeah, I bet the scents are going to be crispier than bacon." She then looked at him with a blank expression on her face, and then later they both started to laugh together. They laughed so hard that their stomach was beginning to hurt a little. They must have found this joke very funny, for whatever reason.

"That was hilarious," said the girl as she started to calm down, her hands rubbing her stomach as she tried to stop the aching.

"What can I say? I guess sometimes I'm quite the comedian, huh?"

"You sure are," she answered as she clapped her hands. "Clap, clap for the funniest boy in the world, nano desu!"

"Aw, shucks," uttered the flattered, young sailor.

Thirty minutes later, they arrived at Amethyst Island; it was called Amethyst Island because of the flowers that grew there. The sailboat slid in the sand and came to a halt. Link and Rika jumped off of the cruiser and started to walk around the place. The sky was very cloudy and it blocked the sun's light, it looked as though it was going to rain soon, also. The weather was pretty windy and a bit frigid, the wind-chill also made it worse than ever.

"Dang, it's rather cool, huh?" asked the boy as he hugged himself.

"At least you have something on your legs! All I have is this stupid dress!" the girl loudly countered back, also hugging herself.

He then turned his head and looked at her, soon asking, "You are wearing something underneath, right?" After asking her that, he then received a very unfriendly look from her, and she looked quite furious, too.

A few seconds passed before she answered angrily, "Yes." Her voice sounded deeper than usual, and it always sort of scared him when she sounded like that.

The warrior frowned as he said, "I'm sorry about the dumb question, Rika. I know you're smarter than that. I shouldn't have even asked."

"It's alright. It is in the past now, so let's just forget about it, okay?" Rika seemed to of easily turned back to normal, and he was happy to see that.

"Right, now we just got to head over to that building over there," he avowed, now walking faster; her walking speed increasing, too. The island was moderately small, so finding this construction was a no-brainer for them. Less than a minute later, they arrived at the building and walked inside. They were greeted by some scientist guy named Steve, and he took them to a certain part of the lab. The man typed in some code and made the door slide open.

Link and Rika walked inside, and then the door slammed shut. The noise the door made when it closed sounded really loud, it even made them both jump with surprise. The room they were in was pure white, it was so white that it kind of hurt their eyes, and it seemed like they were lost in nothing. They couldn't even tell if they were walking on a floor or not. This area was also vastly immense.

"Can you hear me, you guys?" asked Steve from the intercom.

"Yeah, we hear you loud and clear, Steve. This is quite a place you got here," responded Link as he rubbed his eyes.

"I think I'm going to get a headache," whined Rika, not looking or sounding very good.

"You'll be alright, Rika. We came here to sniff stuff and that's what we're going to do." He said this in a very uplifting fashion.

She gave him that cheerful grin of hers and happily squeaked back, "Yeah, you're right, Link!"

The warrior then looked up and shouted, "Okay, Steve, let the smelling begin!"

"Okay then, here I go! First one: Baboon Pits of Doom!" Insert record scratch sound here.

"What?" they both said at the same time, their faces looking as though they just saw Bigfoot doing the hula in their backyard. Nozzles then suddenly appeared everywhere on the walls, though you couldn't see the walls, and started to spray a whole lot of the stuff everywhere. The smell was unbearable and they fell down on the ground, coughing.

Even though the spouts quit spraying the stuff, the horrible odor lingered for so long. They couldn't even speak at the moment because they were too busy hacking and gasping for air. "So, what do you guys think?" asked Steve, laughing afterwards. They now felt like suckers for even coming here in the first place.

"What the heck was that!" screamed the both of them, trying not to cough.

"Next: Buffalo Diarrhea!" The spray then spewed everywhere. "Next: Burrito Night with Dad!" The spray then blasted in the room. "Next: Anime Girl's Dirty Underwear!" The foul smell then entered the room. "Next: Gastrointestinal Gassy Gorillas!" That also sprayed in the room. "Next: Used & Spicy Diapers!" That sprayed afterwards. "Next: The Mermaid's Bathroom!" That also entered the room. "And last, but not least: The Jockstrap of Davey Jones!" That also entered inside.

So, if you put all of this together, it smelled like a baboon's pits mixed with buffalo diarrhea while someone's dad is having gas while a pair of dirty underwear from an anime girl violates the atmosphere while gorillas are having gas with used, spicy diapers inside of a mermaid's bathroom while Davey Jones's jockstrap is stinking up the place? Wow, poor Link and Rika.

"Well, does it smell good to you guys?" asked the jerk as he continued to laugh at them. The boy and the girl were practically dead, just lying there as their noses were forced to inhale more and more of these disgusting aromas of death. Steve then opened the door and ran inside of the room, shortly after that hacking and having a heart attack, dying afterwards. They then heard a computer voice saying, "The building will now self-destruct in seven seconds."

The fact that Rika was in trouble was already enough to get Link going. He forced himself to stand up, pick up his unconscious friend, and ran the fastest that he could out of the building. At the very last second, he got out of the place, the large lab blowing up afterwards, sending them both flying into the sea. The cold water woke Rika up and she started coughing.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking very sick and concerned.

"Hey, Link?"

"Yeah, what is it, Rika?"

"The next time somebody wants you to smell something, JUST-SAY-NO!" Rika looked sick to her stomach, as well.

The blond just smiled and replied, "Believe me, I learned MY lesson today. Let's just get back to Outset Island."

Gee, that must have smelled pretty darn rank, eh? Well, thanks for reading ^_^.