Anthony DiNozzo woke up to find himself lying down. Again. God this is getting old, he thought as he looked around.

"Did I save her?" Tony quietly asked after he found the girl who was still holding his hand.

"Yes Tony," A small smile crept onto her face. "You did."

"But I'm not dead," He could feel his pulse. As weak as it was, it was still there. "I'm not dead…. Am I?"

The girl cocked her head as she asked thoughtfully.

"Why don't you try telling me Tony? What happened?"

The agent was going to protest that that was exactly the problem; he couldn't remember. However before he could open his mouth a fragment of his memory flashed through his head.

It was all his fault.

Tony stared at the barrel of his own gun.

Jenny shouldn't have had to die. Jeanne shouldn't have had to been hurt. Paula shouldn't have had end life like that. And Kate.

Kate.

"The gun, I looked at the gun. It…" Tony stuttered for words. "It was pointed at me."

"Do you remember Tony?"

"No," The Senior Field Agent vigorously shook his head. "No I don't want to remember. Don't make me, please… Don't make me."

"Tony," The girl ignored Tony's pleas and gently wrapped her arms around him. "When you first woke up here, what did you do?"

Anthony Dinozzo snapped awake at the touch of a hand to his face. His first move was pure instinct; his hand was about to shoot outwards-

"I tried to hurt you."

"No," The rebuke was gentle but firm. "You tried to protect yourself."

"Protect myself?" Tony asked blankly. "From what?"

The girl smiled as she ruffled Tony's hair. That was the million dollar question.

"Don't you remember?"

Her words seemed to have the power to trigger his memories. Tony groaned in pain because of the vast amount of memories flooding into his mind.

"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo?"

A Petty Officer walked into Tony's office, seemingly oblivious of the time, two thirty in the morning. Tony inwardly groaned; he was caught with beer in his hand. This was so not good.

"And how could I help you at this time in the morning Officer?"

Tony purposely didn't turn around; he was still thinking what he should do. Should he glare at the officer and scare him off, or should he smile widely and offer the man a glass too? He didn't want the officer to see the sheer panic in his eyes and hoped he had succeeded in keeping his voice even.

"A bit late to be alone with a drink."

Damn he was screwed. He'd either have to talk his way out of it or outright threaten the marine, preferably the former.

"There's no such thing as being too late," Tony plastered a grin on his face as he swung around in his chair to face the unexpected visitor.

"No, NO!"

Anthony DiNozzo found his gun mere inches from his face.

The officer holding the gun sneered.

"We'll see."

"Make it stop," Tony gripped the child's thin shoulders. "Make it stop!"

This was the end. Although, not the way he had expected it, it was how things were going to end.

Tony's gaze returned to the barrel of his Sig.

"Why…" Tony whimpered as all his strength started to leave him. His grip on the child grew weaker and weaker as he slumped to the ground. "Why are you making me go back…?"

The girl kissed Tony on the brow after telling him why.

"For Daddy."


At the strangled cry of his Senior Field Agent, Gibbs was out of his chair with his gun in hand, ready to shot whoever the hell dared to hurt Tony when he was right beside the younger man.

"Doctor Pitt," Gibbs secured his weapon. "Tony!"

They had made it to mainland and safely moved Tony to Bethesda. Tony had to go under surgery for the stiches in his shoulder and broken collar bone but the surgery had gone well and all that was left was for Tony to wake up.

The injuries were severe but nothing permanent, Ducky had told Gibbs. The blood from Tony's head was from a cut so there would be no worry of havinga concussion, and the broken collarbone was fitted back nicely. The only problem was that Tony was already weak from lack of sleep(no surprise, Gibbs found the stashed beer), and malnutrition(Gibbs's stomach twisted horribly) so his recovery would be slow.

He'll heal physically Jethro. The ME had told his friend pointedly. The ex-marine had simply nodded his understanding.

"He's having a nightmare it seems. I'd really rather not sedate him; I want him awake so we can check his state but he keeps fighting back." Doctor Pitt narrowly dodged the fist that came flying.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs moved forward to the flailing man. Tony was awake, or at least his eyes were open, but he took no notice of his boss and was trying to rip the IV out of his wrist. "Tony!"

Gibbs had no idea what was going through Tony's head, or what Tony was seeing. He was sure however, that Tony was going to hurt himself more if he didn't stop.

"Tony! Tony, it's me," Gibbs murmured reassuringly as he reached over and gripped the younger man's wrist.

The affect was immediate. Tony visually slackened as he met Gibbs's gaze.

"...Gibbs?"

The absolute trust ringing in that single utter brought a lump in Gibbs's throat.

"Yea Tony. I've got your six."

With Doctor Pitt's help, Gibbs helped Tony lie back down and he couldn't help but remember the nights he tucked Kelly in. So lost was Gibbs in his memories that he didn't notice Tony was staring at him with glazed eyes until he noticed Tony mumbling

Tony was badly hurt and drugged with painkillers and probably wouldn't even remember what he said when he woke up.

But that didn't lessen Gibbs's agony when he read Tony's lips.

No... You haven't.