Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds
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Derek stood at the door and watched Hotch as he sat on the bed, trying to entice some form of communication from Penelope, she just stared out of the window and in this time he had time to survey her over.
It was then he realised just how ill she was, her wrists were bandaged and with it he saw the cushioned cuffs to restrain her, he also saw the IV in her hand and he stepped out of the room.
'Where are you going?' He heard someone call after him but he felt dazed and sunk against the wall as the tears erupted from his eyes. He heard his name in multiple tones and volumes as he reached the floor and his head sunk into his arms.
He finally looked up when he heard Hotch's stern voice. 'Morgan.' Hotch knelt down, placing a hand on his shoulder. 'You're here way out of this... admittedly it won't be easy but you are the key.'
'I can't just walk in there...'
'Want me to talk to her?'
'Is that going to work? She won't believe it.'
'Only one way to try.' Hotch said and got up and left before any further objections could be spoken. Hotch walked into the room, shutting the door behind him he approached the bed like he had done on many occasions in the last weeks or so. 'Penelope.'
'What's happening outside?' She asked still staring off.
'Just a little hiccup.' He said as he perched on the bed and took Penelope's hand in his, she didn't respond it just stayed limp in his grasp. 'Penelope... I need to tell you something and we've only just found out ourselves but it's about Derek.' He saw her eyes ignite with a bit of life at just hearing his name. 'Strauss made him do a special undercover assignment to make sure we didn't get separated, he was made to do it or he had to get a divorce from you... it was for 3 months, starting the day we entered that building.' Penelope's eyes twisted with confusion. 'Derek asked Rossi for help; Derek wanted an easier way to show his commitment to his job, the team and most importantly you.'
'I- I don't understand.'
'Derek's death wasn't real... Strauss made it plausible that he had died, Derek wasn't in that building Penelope.' He said and saw her eyes begin to tear up and the tears run new tracks down her cheeks.
'No one believed me!' She said getting agitated. 'I would've known he was dead but everyone made me believe I was wrong!'
'I know Penelope, but I had been there, it was too believable.' Hotch said feeling himself welling up at her reaction. 'He is alive. Derek's alive.'
'Where is he? He isn't here is he?' She said as adrenaline seemed to filter into her veins and she shot up. 'He can't see what I've done!'
'Penelope he understands.'
'No! He won't to be married to someone that takes the weak way out!'
'You are not weak Penelope! He wants to help you!'
'He can't see me like this.' She said getting hysterical now; it was more lively for Penelope than she had been in the encroaching weeks to her attempt to ditch life. 'I- I- I'm not worthy.'
'Penelope let him be the decider of that.'
'No!' She said as she fought the restraints. 'I need to get out of here, away from here!' Hotch tried to calm Penelope, ignoring the door clicking open and Derek walked in hesitantly. 'He won't love me now!'
'Oh baby girl...' And it was as those words slipped from his lips that Penelope broke into a new torrent of tears. As those words snaked around the cells of her minds, gripping her, she knew she should've trusted her gut. 'Goddess...' He used another nickname he had used under so many pretences, the tone so right, the depth to the voice correct, the man saying it so poignant and it was as the realisation hit her that she felt the need to be swallowed up. Derek moved into the room. 'I'm here now baby girl.' Penelope froze as the familiarity of his touch tingled her skin. 'Get a nurse Hotch.'
'Why?'
'I want these removed from her wrists!' Derek said angrily as he saw Penelope restrained. 'She isn't going to get better all the time they keep her like this! This isn't healthy!' He watched Hotch leave and placed a hand in hers, the other by her head and he leant down to her crying face. 'You need to calm down... I'm so sorry... I get it if you can never forgive me but I need you to know how sorry I am.' Penelope couldn't cease her crying, it was all she could do, she couldn't get used to his voice reverberating in her ears. He felt her squeeze his hand weakly and the tears built back up. 'I love you so much.'
'I really wanted to die.' She whispered to him as the nurse came in. 'I can't do it alone.'
Derek stood up straight as he was dragged away and the nurse injected Penelope's IV and she calmed into a slumber. Derek felt the anger bubble as he realised just how they were treating her. He saw the nurse begin to exit the room. 'Take the restraints off her!'
'I'm sorry but we can't.'
'I'm telling you as her husband... take the God damn restraints off her! She isn't an animal... she's a human being!'
'Sir, we cannot until she is no longer a risk to herself.'
'She isn't a risk...' The nurse remained unmoved. 'Fine!' He said and took them off himself. 'She does not deserve this treatment.'
'Derek you need to calm down.'
'I won't!' Derek said back even more angered. 'I was trying to calm her down but she walks in and does this! This isn't going to help Penelope get better!' The nurse seemed to get where Derek was coming from there and then, her eyes moved with the understanding. 'You're drugging her; you aren't giving Penelope the opportunity to get better!'
'Derek...' Hotch started and stopped Derek before he could go off on a longer verbal warpath. 'You've just started to help her get better properly.'
