hey guys! so ive been hauling ass to get these done. ill try to get chapter 8 up tomorrow but im really busy at the moment, with exams and behind the wheel and all that jazz. oh! and please please review! they make my day :D but heres chapter 7! enjoy (:
Chapter 7
When I was a killing machine, my eyes would be lifeless. I had no soul back then. I was programmed to kill all I saw. I was like a robot and my leader held the controller. My eyes stayed like that even after a year of moving in with the Cullens. Once they changed, I knew I was changed.
But now, the past had come back to haunt me. I was sucked into that horrible way of life I used to know. I didn't want to be the monster I once was. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even Edward, who at this very moment, I truly hated. My own brother…
Once Carlisle stepped back, I looked back at the ground, ashamed of myself. I didn't want to be this way, everyone always stepping in fear around me. I could feel it off of him, even though he wouldn't admit it.
"I'm not afraid Jasper, just worried." That's the first thing he said after I looked back at the ground. I lifted my head, with the hope of his words being true, but he shuddered when my black holes met his butterscotch eyes.
In about a minute, we were back in the house. Bella was still there, sitting on the couch with Esme. Edward was still outside talking with Emmett. Alice was off with Rosalie quickly hunting because they knew it was going to be a long night.
I watched Bella as I walked through the room. I felt like a prisoner in my own house. I wanted her so bad but couldn't have her.
Wait a minute. I thought. Where did that come from?
Then it hit me. With the eyes comes the soul, or lack there off. My throat started tightening up and a low growl grew in my throat. She looked terrified and all there was to protect her was poor little Esme. She was no fight for me.
Stop it Jasper. This is not you! This is your family. The old me was shouting, screaming for dear life. I knew this wasn't me. I knew that demon had taken over but I wanted her blood so bad. Her smell was tantalizing and her heart rate went up when I turned and looked at her again. Oh, that blood was calling for me.
But what would this do to Edward? Hell, I didn't care about him. He doesn't care about me so what's the point. Carlisle noticed my locked stare on Bella and kicked me in the leg. I turned and hissed at him.
My instincts were protecting me now. This wasn't Carlisle. This was another vampire coming to take my prey away. He wants her just as much as I do. This should be fun, a fight before the meal! Delightful.
"Jasper! Jasper!" How did this enemy know my name? The haze disappeared from my eyes and I saw Carlisle standing there.
How strange that Carlisle took the place of my enemy. I guess even though I am turning back into a monster, I still know who my family is. And who loves me.
I turned to the door and saw Edward coming in. He was staring at the floor but he did glance up at me. His eyes hit mine and I felt the urge to fight. This is the person who brought all the bad out in me.
Edward must have read my thoughts because he raised his hands in the air and said, "Truce. I don't want to fight anymore. You are my brother and always will be. I'm sorry for what I have done to you."
Was he seriously apologizing? This was the weirdest thing ever! Why would he be apologizing?
I didn't believe him though. I had trusted in many in the past, and they all were lying. He probably just realized I could hurt him now that I was in the right frame of mind.
I shook, my head, coming back to reality when I remembered Bella. This all started because of her. Well…sort of. It wasn't her fault she was born a fragile human and just happened to fall in love with a vampire who has a psycho brother. I smiled. It was always fun making fun of myself in my thoughts.
Everyone was staring at me now. Edward, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle and Bella; I could feel their stares, trying to understand what was going on.
Rosalie and Alice walked in the door and stopped. Right in the middle of the doorway. It was quite an odd thing to do even with all the tension in the room.
Alice took one look at me, walked over to Edward and slapped him across the face. I don't think I had even been prouder. I smiled a wide grin and she walked over to me, her mouth in a frown.
"What's wrong love?" I asked. I think even as a monster, I could still find it in me to love her.
"Your eyes. They're back to the way when I first met you. Oh Jasper!" I had never seen her look so upset. If she were able to, she would be sobbing right now. I sent out a wave of calm for her but it hit everyone. I don't think they have ever been more grateful than right now for my gift. Alice fell into my arms and I held onto her like she was the last thing I had. I looked down at her and smiled her favorite crooked smile. I let her know I wasn't completely lost in this cruel world. I was still the Jasper she married and loved deep inside. And right now, I was willing to do anything to get back to that man.
