A/N: Thank you again and again and again for all the reviews/comments.
All the previous chapters have now been corrected and reposted!
I want to thank 2 persons without whom you wouldn't be reading this story as it is:
Alex. If you weren't around, I would be so alone to discuss my mind machinations at 11pm on Sunday nights.
Randomdork11: my new fanfic BFF and now the official beta for this story - she's the one fixing my broken english guys! She's the best and a saint really.
Chapter 7: Sarcasm: 404 not found
Severus was hysterically rubbing his hair under the shower spray; nothing seemed to work. He was crying hard by now, making breathing becoming more difficult by the minute – what with all the bubbles, the sobs and, of course, the hot steam in the shower cubicle.
It wasn't stopping. It seemed like hours since he had noticed something wrong with his hair. If anything, the bubbles seemed even larger now. His scalp was becoming to feel raw and painful but he didn't stop.
Why always him?!
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Minerva McGonagall was fidgeting. It was an extremely rare spectacle to see the austere Transfiguration Professor showing anything else than appropriate decorum at the adult table in the Great Hall.
A careful observer would have noticed something else that was indeed very strange; the Gryffindor Head of House was showing an unusual amount of interest toward the Slytherin table tonight. She was trying to conceal it but it was undeniable: her gaze kept looking at the snakes again and again.
It was the Headmaster who stopped the madness when he interrupted her between her careful looks at the Slytherin table and some chocolate cake:
"Now, calm down Minerva, I'm sure your charge will soon be among us."
She looked anxiously at him while answering under her breath:
"Half the students are already gone! Where is he? He'd better not be in some kind of trouble again!"
Albus Dumbledore, clearly invested in the whole situation, had come up with a plan to help his friend have the dreaded conversation with her new ward. Tonight they were going to tell him that Minerva would be his new guardian.
They had decided that the Head of Gryffindor would intercept the surly boy after dinner that night and ask him to come to her office for a little talk. The Headmaster would be present during the discussion, as a support to his old friend as well as to defuse any potential tension between the two. It was a sound plan… until the student in question decided not to show up at dinnertime!
"You want to tell him tonight, don't you?" enquired Pomona Sprout, adding some wine in Minerva's cup to soothe her nerves. She had been listening to the conversation without really trying to hide it. Sitting on the other side of McGonagall, she'd become tired of all the fidgeting.
"It was what had been decided, but the little menace isn't here!"
The panic was showing under the false accusatory underline of Minerva's tone, it was time to take some action before she lost her resolve.
"Do you want me to ask Horace to go search for the boy in the Slytherin dormitories?", asked Albus, calmly.
"I don't know…"
They looked at the Potions Professor, who was sitting on the other side of Dumbledore's and currently engrossed in an animated discussion with Silvanus Kettleburn.
"Or you could go and fetch him yourself Minerva… he's yours now after all!" said Pomona, kindly.
Minerva only groaned, looking defeated.
After a little pause, she resigned herself and told the other two:
"I should go shouldn't I?"
Pomona patted her hand softly. "I could come with you if you need me," she offered. "The Headmaster can go and wait for us in your office."
"And what if he isn't in Slytherin quarters? It's a big castle!"
Pomona knew that Minerva was stalling, she apparently couldn't help herself.
"Follow me Minerva, we will go together and Albus will join you in your office when we will have located the child!"
Still a little unsure, Minerva McGonagall had no choice but to follow her colleague and friend to the dungeons. It was a start.
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Severus had no tears left. He was still scrubbing his scalp like a mad man, hyperventilating. He wondered briefly what the other Slytherin boys would think, finding him in the showers having suffocated to death. He nearly laughed in a fit of hysteria.
Some distant part of him registered that his scalp was really hurting now. He kept scrubbing anyway.
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Pomona looked at Minerva with some concern. Minerva looked tired and worried. She really needed to tell the boy once and for all! Surely it wouldn't be as ghastly as she imagined it would be?
They entered the Slytherin Common Room together. As it was still early, there weren't many students hanging around. All the children stopped what they were doing seeing the Head of Hufflepuff and the Head of Gryffindor entering their Common Room; it wasn't unheard of, but it was still uncommon enough to give them pause.
"Trevor!", called Pomona, "come here please"
The Head Boy obeyed without question.
"What can I do for you, Professors? I hope nothing too serious has you two coming in our cosy Common Room?"
The Herbology Professor smiled kindly at him and reassured him immediately:
"Not at all child, we are just looking for Severus Snape, do you happen to know where we could find him?"
Terence Trevor's face immediately showed some concern. Minerva quickly added:
"He's not in trouble Mister Trevor; we just need to discuss something with him and he didn't show up in the Great Hall for Dinner tonight."
The boy still looked a little suspicious but he tried to help anyway:
"I haven't seen him for some time," he paused, "actually, I'm not sure I saw him exiting his dorm after going there at the end of his last lesson of the day…"
He seemed to think about it a little before adding:
"Do you want me to show you the Third Years boys' dorm?"
"Yes please Terence, thank you for your help, 5 points to Slytherin!", came Pomona's answer.
"Thank you Professor!", the boy beamed.
They followed him swiftly through a corridor. He stopped in front of the fourth door on the right and knocked on the dark wood. No answer. Trevor knocked again, louder this time. They waited a little but still got no answer at all.
Minerva looked anxiously at Pomona. They exchanged a "what now?" look; finally, Pomona addressed the Head Boy again:
"You can go back to whatever you were doing before we interrupted you Trevor; thanks again for your help."
The boy looked at them both, his eyes full of silent questions before finally nodding and heading back to the Common Room.
"Should we enter now?", asked Pomona, a hesitant look on her face for the first time of the evening.
Minerva felt her resolve strengthen in front of this new difficulty.
"Of course."
She then called loudly enough to get past the door:
"Mister Snape? Are you in there?"
No answer again. She waited a little before adding:
"Mister Snape, we're coming through!"
They pushed the door and entered the dormitory.
The first thing Minerva noted was that some of those boys needed to be reminded some rules about keeping a dormitory clean and tidy!
She looked at each bed in turn and noticed that two of the four were in fact quite tidy. The two other though… she would have to talk to Horace about it. Those boys needed to learn some basic manners!
Pomona suddenly interrupted her musing:
"I think he has the bed near the window, I recognize the boy' scarf."
Indeed, an old-fashioned Slytherin scarf was neatly folded on the chair near the last bed. Not a lot of students wore this sort of scarfs as they were now out of fashion. Minerva had in fact wore one of those in her own school years; a Gryffindor one of course.
Severus was the only Slytherin that Minerva could remember wearing one now that Pomona had pointed it out. It looked quite battered and thin when so carefully folded.
Minerva had the immediate impression that the boy took a very good care of this old battered scarf… Actually, looking around at his other possessions, she noticed that it was a general impression: old, damaged looking things – only the strict essential – were carefully arranged around his neat and comparatively bare bed. Clearly, the other boys had received a lot of goods from their families to help them personalize their school beds.
This scarf didn't look like it was at all warm enough anymore for the rude Scottish winter and Minerva felt her heart go out for the boy more sincerely than it had since she had learnt she was to become his guardian.
Looking at his corner of the room, it was suddenly so obvious to Minerva that this child had no one looking after him. For the millionth time that year she wondered how could they have been so blind?
As if to voice her thoughts, Pomona whispered:
"It's a sad looking little corner, isn't it?"
Minerva was about to answer to her colleague when Pomona added:
"Is there a shower on? I think I can hear running water. "
Indeed, now that she had said it…
The two women carefully approached the thick door on the left, opposite the beds. They tried again to knock and then call out through it. And once more, no answer was to be heard. They exchanged a look.
What choice did they have? Without saying a word, they silently agreed and Pomona pushed the door open.
A thick cloud of hot steam entering their lungs immediately assaulted them. There was definitely a shower turned on! They easily identified the cubicle from within which the steam came from and Minerva took immediate action, asking curtly:
"Mister Snape! Are you in there?"
They distinctly heard a gasp inside. Maybe they wouldn't have to search the entire castle in the end…
"Severus, dear", tried Pomona, "it seems like you've been in there for quite a long time if I go by the amount of steam, are you alright child?"
The occupant of the cubicle didn't answer but they could hear heavy breathing inside. Quite worried now, Minerva tried again:
"Mister Snape, I'm going to enter now"
"Don't!", came the cry from inside.
Pomona answered immediately:
"If you don't want us to come inside, please turn the water off now, Severus"
They waited and, sure enough, the sound of the running water stopped.
In the relative silence, it was obvious that the child was breathing really heavily, as if sobbing or panicking. Minerva decided to tread carefully:
"Thank you Severus. Do you have some kind of towel in there?"
The two women waited patiently and in silence. Having both been professors in a magical boarding School for so long, nothing could surprise them anymore; even Minerva McGonagall – who could come off as a little austere and stiff – knew how to handle a surprising amount of delicate teen-related situations.
"Yeah… yes I have one", a soft whisper finally answered.
"Now, listen carefully Severus, please, take your towel and wrap yourself inside. Is it big enough to do that?"
They didn't have to wait as long this time before the tiny voice bounced back at them:
"Yes Professor, it is."
"Then, you do that and, once you're ready, please open the door. All right?"
Minerva was trying very hard to keep her voice low and level in order not to scare the boy who still sounded very distressed. She was wondering what could turn the usually so collected Slytherin into this panicked mess.
"Yes professor."
He already sounded more like himself.
They heard some rustling inside and then some deep breathing, as if the child was trying to take control back. Minerva was about to talk again but Pomona gestured for her to keep silent a little more.
They waited again.
After what seemed like an eternity to Minerva, the boy's breath seemed to catch a little before he finally said under his voice:
"I'm coming out now"
He sounded as if he was gathering all his strength to jump in some deep abyss.
They heard the door unlock and the handle began to move. And then, there he was, Severus Snape, the Slytherin terror, all long bones and pale angular face, tightly wrapped in a white Hogwarts' towel.
His hair was full of big pink bubbles for some reason and the bubbles movement seemed quite unnatural – it definitely looked like some kind of jinx or the result of a potion. The sight would have been funny except for the definitely too thin and too pale teenager under the bubbles, looking very vulnerable.
"What do we have there…", murmured Minerva while gesturing to the boy to come closer.
He looked… ashamed actually. As soon as she realized it, Minerva frowned and asked:
"What happened Mister Snape?"
The boy shrank a little under her gaze before stuttering:
"I.. I don't… don't know professor… it was itching more and more and then it started bubbling and it won't stop… it won't stop!"
His eyes were clearly pleading with her to please make it stop. Her voice became much softer:
"Let me have a look at you, Severus"
He hung his head and took another step toward Minerva.
She quickly and nonverbally casted a general diagnosis on his head. She frowned again and worked quickly on whatever that was. It was quite elaborate for some school children joke. After a few more minutes, she was able to stop the bubbles altogether. It was definitely potion based, but activated by a spell. The potion had already been rinsed off by the long shower, leaving only the jinx to be lifted.
"Here, here, it's alright now, no more bubbles!", she said gently.
The boy frantically searched his hair for them, carelessly pulling at it in all direction. Slowly, Minerva took his hands and directed them away from his poor head. It was at this moment that she saw how inflamed his skin was looking. His scalp was very red and she could make out angry scratching.
He obviously had been trying to rinse his head for a very long time, maybe hours.
"Do you know who did this to you?"
She was now in full Professor mode.
Pomona snorted at her question for some reason. Minerva didn't look away from the boy's face anyway. He seemed to hesitate a moment before offering:
"I… I don't know Professor".
He wasn't even trying to lie convincingly… She sighed. Was it the moment to push him? At any other time she would have but the reminder of what was still to come between them stopped her before she could continue her enquiry. Punishment would have to wait.
She looked at Pomona then and knew immediately that her friend agreed with her.
"Well, if anything comes back to you, do come and talk to me and we will punish the responsible party. If I happen to learn anything regarding this incident I will inform you of it Mister Snape, ok?"
He seemed a little surprised at that, probably because he wasn't counting on her letting it go that easily? He finally answered:
"Yes, thank you Professor".
And he was quite polite for once.
Pomona decided to intervene again:
"Now, hear me out Severus, here is what we will do now: you will go immediately to the Infirmary to see Madam Pomfrey for your scalp. She will treat you. Once you are better, you will immediately go to Professor McGonagall's office. Can you do that for us?"
Minerva had the distinct impression that the boy didn't appreciate being talked to as if he were five years old. A small frown creased his brow when he answered:
"Yes, Professor. Hospital Wing and then Professor McGonagall's office. Can I ask why? Am I in trouble?"
Here it was, this irking tone he always managed to summon. Just enough decorum and politeness to keep him out of trouble but not enough to remove the tone of defiance.
Minerva decided to cut the discussion short at this point:
"Shoo then, and do try to be quick and not wander in the corridors Mister Snape, I will be waiting."
They looked at his back entering the dormitory and followed. As he obviously needed to dress first, they exited the room and the Slytherin den immediately.
At least they would have some time to tell Albus all about the pink bubbles incident.
Now, they only had to wait a little and The Conversation would soon be done with. That was what Minerva was repeating in her head anyway.
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Terence Trevor observed the two professors exiting the Slytherin Common Room, deep in thoughts.
He didn't know what was going on with that awful Snape boy, but something was definitely up. The two women had been in there for quite a long time and he was very curious about that new development.
Knowledge was power and it was especially true in Slytherin's House.
He wondered if this was the result of the Rosier boy's little scheme. The blonde believed he was being subtle but Trevor knew that he was plotting something against the half-blood. Trevor had seen him constantly whispering with other Third Years in the dark corners of the Common Room about it.
The Head-Boy knew it was some sort of revenge, a lesson for the secluded boy, even if he didn't yet have the whole story. He didn't like anyone pulling this sort of trick on anyone, though. Bullying was something he deeply loathed.
He swore to himself to keep a closer eye on the Snape boy from now on.
Now, time to get back to those revisions. Those NEWTs wouldn't get themselves an O without pain on his part…
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Severus was now angrier than shaken. If anything, he was so ashamed to have been discovered in such a vulnerable position. Sprout and McGonagall just saw him in only a towel for Merlin's sake! He blushed furiously at the memory. Why did he panic that much for some pink bubbles? He was so pathetic.
It was in this state: furious, ashamed and his face covered in angry patches of red blotches, that he finally reached the Hospital Wing.
Poppy was as usual very efficient and didn't ask too many questions - thank heavens for small mercies! Severus was right as rain in no time. Well, he could have done with a little more stalling this time around…
No need to make it even more painful, he would just have to go and accept his death by humiliation he supposed.
It was in this dark disposition that he took his first step toward his Transfiguration Professor's office.
It really sucked being him sometimes.
It was only when he reached the door that he stopped suddenly. He could make out voices – plural – inside. Great, public humiliation it was then. Was it still possible to change his mind and go to the Astronomy Tower instead?
He couldn't resist and silently put his ear against the wood of the door, trying to listen into the conversation inside. Between his frantic heartbeats, he only heard sounds and muffled words but nothing understandable.
He sighed again. Better do it now, no gain in waiting longer… He knocked firmly on the wooden panel. The voices immediately went silent. He took a deep breath just before the door opened by itself.
He tried not to panic when he discovered that, in addition to McGonagall and Sprout, the Headmaster was there too. Great. He hadn't humiliated himself in front of Dumbledore for how long now? Nearly two years?
He remembered being totally frozen in the entry of the Headmaster office that first time. What was it for again? Oh yes, James Potter and a broken nose. Well, he definitely couldn't fault his younger self for this one: if the little jerk didn't deserve it at the time, he certainly did now.
He didn't know how the hell the shitty Gryffindors succeeded in putting something in his hair without him noticing. It had to be something with a timer or spell activated maybe? He would get to the bottom of it and make them pay. A broken nose would be the last of James fucking Potter worry after that.
Get a grip Severus!
"Mister Snape, please do enter and take a sit with us", was saying Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling madly.
How he loathed that the old man could terrify him that much while being so genuinely benevolent on the outside. It was like he could feel the hidden raw power lurking behind the doting grandpa persona.
He couldn't help but shiver a little at the thought.
Choosing to be obedient until he could read the situation better, Severus took a sit next to Sprout – Dumbledore and McGonagall sat on the other side of the mahogany desk.
His attention fixed on Dumbledore; it surprised Severus when Minerva took the lead. Generally when Dumbledore was in the room, Severus expected the older man to take charge. It made him feel unsettled all of a sudden.
"Now Mister Snape", began McGonagall – at which point both Dumbledore and Sprout coughed up disapprovingly for some reason – "before we begin with the matter at hands, can you maybe explain what happened earlier?"
The damned Marauders, bubbles, fucking panic, and humiliation: that was what happened. Why the hell would he voluntarily prolong the discussion on this shaming subject?
"Well…", he began dumbly before shutting his mouth again.
Dumbledore, always the good guy, came to his rescue:
"Well indeed Severus. Professors McGonagall and Sprout told me that they found you in the shower, the victim of some bubbles hex perhaps? Do you know what happened? Did someone else do this to you or was it maybe the end result of an experiment gone wrong?"
An experiment? Why the Hell would he try to put some damn pink bubbles on his own head?
Oh.
Well done Dumbledore, way to humiliate him some more; the dumb orphan Slytherin boy trying to rid his greasy hair of the slimy look. Nice story, not pathetic at all.
Somehow, the fact that the Headmaster – whom he couldn't help but admire grandly even if he scared him a little – could think that he would do something like that crushed his heart in his chest a little. Worse, this meant that even the Headmaster was aware that Severus Snape was a greasy slimy git.
Way to boost someone ego…
He became aware suddenly that they were looking intently at him, waiting for an answer. He tried to say something:
"I didn't do this to myself I swear!"
He cringed a little: it had come out of his mouth a little more plaintively that he had meant.
"Do you know who did this to you then Severus?"
He wished they wouldn't use his first name that much, he felt manipulated by it.
"I don't know", he answered stubbornly.
They looked like they didn't believe him. He didn't care, he might be a pathetic worm, but he was not yet so low as to run to an adult in order to sort out his mess; he knew how to take care of himself.
Leaning forward, Sprout inserted herself into the conversation. "Maybe you can explain then child why you were so distressed over a silly prank?"
He couldn't help himself and stood up, furious:
"SILLY PRANK?! It wasn't at all funny! I hate this school, I HATE IT!"
"Now, calm down Mister Snape, no need to scream here.", McGonagall intervened, calmly.
He was so furious that he nearly missed the reproachful look of the other two at the Mister Snape.
Severus knew he shouldn't lose his composure like that, but he was just tired of it all. He'd been through some very demanding weeks lately. He'd just got Lily back and today had been a long day. He was losing his touch.
Forcing himself to calm down, Severus reigned in his self-control. "Sorry," he mumbled.
"You're not in trouble here Severus", added McGonagall more softly, "we are just trying to understand why we found you in such a state, that is all. You're not at fault and if I find the responsible students I can assure you they will be severely punished for this little stunt."
Yeah, right.
It took all his effort to keep in the little snort bubbling inside his throat at her comment. Sprout chose that moment to get up and bid them a good night. She disgustingly patted Severus' arm on her way and he had to summon all his self-control not to flinch at the touch.
She turned around just before leaving:
"Do give something to eat to the child before you begin Minerva, he didn't come to dinner after all."
She then proceeded to wink at him – was he losing his mind? – and walked out of the room.
With Sprout now gone, he turned his head toward the other side of the desk again and felt somewhat tiny in front of the remaining adults. It was like there was nobody left on his side, literally.
Dumbledore did a little circle with his hand and tea and sandwiches immediately appeared in the middle of the desk.
"I feel like we could all do with a little snack, don't you think Professor McGonagall?", he asked, smiling at Severus all along.
McGonagall seemed to immediately take the hook and they each took one sandwich and a fragile looking cuppa. Dumbledore gestured for him to do the same and he obeyed automatically, like a conditioned puppy.
Only Dumbledore talked – mainly mad nonsense as he often did – while they ate together.
Well, he wouldn't have admitted it out loud but he was a little hungry now that he was comfortably sat in a warm environment and that his hair had stopped bubbling. He worriedly hoped that it wasn't some set up to have him lower his guard before striking again? He was so tired of being on edge all the time; he could tell his defences stayed lowered despite his dark thoughts.
Dumbledore took the time to calmly clear the desk up, vanishing all but the teapot, sugar, cream and their cups, before asking:
"Now that we've all had something to eat, Professor McGonagall has something that she wishes to tell you Severus. Don't worry, it isn't a bad news, it's kind of the opposite I think and, well, no need to beat around the bushes here: I'm very often right you know".
And he winked at him. What was it with all the winks tonight? Was this some sort of alternate universe or something?
He was way past worry right now: he was fucking terrified. Like earlier though, the exhaustion deeply rooted into his bones these past few weeks let him with only some sort of profound apathy; even if he was screaming inside. He didn't move and kept looking at the giant trunk coming for him with its lights growing fast.
"Severus, are you listening?", enquired McGonagall.
He guessed he surely looked a little distant right now. He wouldn't have been surprised if his own ghost decided to leave the place and left his body behind at this point.
"Yes, Yes, I'm listening."
"Good. You know that your parents do not have any authority over you from now on?"
Yes, he knew all about that. It had been banging against the inside of his skull since that dreadful day he decided to faint in front of everyone… He nodded.
"Good. As you're still a child – don't look at me like that, Mister Snape, you're still very much a child and will be for some time too – as you are still a child by law then, you will need a guardian from now on."
"I thought the Headmaster was my guardian as far as the Ministry knew?"
"Well, that's right. But it was only until we could find you a more suitable person."
"I don't mind keeping it like that… It's just until I finish school anyway and I can take care of myself during the summer holiday if that is the issue here?"
He turned his head to look at Dumbledore, trying to assess why the old man wanted to get rid of him. He wanted to convince him that he wouldn't be a burden. He had it all planned out already: he would work during the summer holiday in order to pay for clothes, books and all the mandatory things until he could leave school and get on with his life. Simple.
They didn't let him expose his plan though, and McGonagall interrupted him before he could even begin to explain it to Dumbledore.
"The Headmaster is a very busy man Severus," she began, "and it wouldn't be fair on you to have a guardian not capable of really looking after you."
What did she mean? And why was she calling him "Severus" tonight? From Sprout it was quite normal but from McGonagall: it definitely sounded wrong. He tried to open his mouth only to be interrupted again:
"That is why we decided that I will be your permanent guardian, beginning tonight if you're ok with this new arrangement?"
She looked worried. He didn't know why? What was it she had just said? He didn't understand and he felt like crying all of a sudden – why did he want to cry? What was happening here?
"Severus, try and calm down please, there is no need to panic, we're here tonight to discuss all of this with you, we will take the time we need", Dumbledore's voice got through the fog in his panicking mind.
He kept breathing deeply. What was it with him and panicking today?
"What did you just say?", he croaked dumbly.
"I'm your new guardian Severus", McGonagall repeated softly.
Damn. This was unexpected. Was it some sort of a joke? They looked serious enough. He didn't understand and his mouth decided to say so:
"I don't understand."
"It's quite simple my boy", Dumbledore said, "Minerva McGonagall will take all guardianship responsibilities from me, starting tonight."
"But… but… she's the Head of Gryffindor!"
He couldn't think of something better at this point.
Were they laughing at him? They were!
"I assure you this is of no consequences regarding our new relationship Severus", explained McGonagall, smiling at him.
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It took nearly two hours, but it was done now. The child had signed the paperwork and he seemed mostly ok when she accompanied him back to his dormitory. She felt strangely weightless.
He didn't even cry or get angry. Sure, it was clearly a bit of a shock for him at first but once he had got his head around the fact, they had discussed the new arrangement quite calmly. He didn't ask a lot of questions but she guessed that would come later?
They had explained everything: that she was acting as a parent from now on and as such he should feel free to come to her should he need something, anything. That she would provide for him from now on. That he would have a room in her quarter for those times during holidays when she would still inhabit them. That he would come with her should she leave the castle in the summer.
Albus even told him that Lily Evans already knew but had been asked to keep it to herself until they could have this discussion between the three of them first.
She reflected that she had seen new facets of Severus Snape tonight. She couldn't get rid of his thin frame, wrapped in a towel, all wet and shaking. He had looked unusually vulnerable. It had somehow driven his young age home for Minerva.
He definitely needed a good feeding too; she could see now what Poppy had been raving about those past weeks.
She wondered briefly, before going to sleep that night, what she would have thought should she had known a year ago of this unexpected turn of events.
Well, no need to deny it now, she was officially Severus Snape Guardian: Merlin helps them all!
