Heaven Knows - Chapter 7
A/N: This chapter is set after 5.02 Eye for an Eye episode. We are also entering alternate universe from this chapter. I might still refer to episodes after 5.02 in future chapters, but most of the time, the story is not following cannon any more.
"Petty Officer, please have a seat." Cmdr White's sharp voice instantly put Dylan on alert.
"Thank you, Ma'am." He sat in his seat in front of her desk carefully and held his white hat on his lap, wondering why she was requesting his presence directly after Hammersley finished its current rotation.
"If I'm not mistaken, you requested a frigate transfer around three months ago?"
"Yes, Ma'am." He looked at her with questions in his eyes, wondering whether this would be what he thought it was.
"I have an offer for you." She paused and looked at him in the eye, as if she was expecting him to say something. "There is a bosun position available in HMAS Childers. Their bosun, Petty Officer Cooke, has sustained a gunshot wound to his leg in one of the boardings and will be out of action for at least 6 months. I know that this is not a frigate position, but I'm running out of option for replacement."
"I appreciate the offer, Ma'am, but I think that I need time to think about it," he replied carefully.
She sighed. "Petty Officer, normally, I would give you a few days or even a week to think about the offer. But unfortunately, we don't have that kind of luxury. Childers is scheduled to sail tomorrow afternoon to assist with the flood recovery in the island near the Gulf of Carpentaria. Initially, Petty Officer Rawlinson would be the replacement in Childers, but he couldn't make it to Cairns tomorrow due to family emergency in Sydney."
"If I took the offer, Ma'am, then I suppose Petty Officer Rawlinson would be my replacement?"
"Correct. But if you decided not to take the offer, then Hammersley would be the one that has to takeover that flood recovery task. I'm reluctant to do that though because Hammersley had been in 2 back-to-back patrols and I'm sure your crewmates could use some downtime, especially after the event involving Lieutenant McGregor recently. But, it's up to you, Petty Officer."
Dylan couldn't help but feel as if he was being blackmailed by the woman in front of him. In all honesty, he actually forgot about the transfer paper that he had lodged straight after the event following Gorsky's incident. Now he was not sure if he still wanted to transfer out from Hammersley and leaving his pseudo family behind; leaving Kate behind. He sighed inwardly. Somehow, his life was now revolved around her. He was literally her right-hand man at work, anticipating her order and the danger that always lurked around her. In addition to that, he was also her best friend. They finally had relaxed their physical boundaries after that late night conversation on her couch. Not to mention that the boss finally had accepted his presence in her life. They formed a protective wall around her, shielding her from any harm. This last patrol was a strong proof of that.
But how long could he do this for? Being in Hammersley was all good now, when Kate and the boss were still officially in a status quo. He could pretend that he didn't know what was going on. He could still be her best friend without getting in the way of their relationship. But what about when she got promoted and were the CO? How would he handle the fact that she could finally be with the man that she loved officially? Would he still want to stick around then? Seeing her walked down the aisle towards Mike Flynn? Seeing her stomach swell, carrying their baby? Could he still be smiling and be happy for her while he was hurting inside?
"Petty Officer, I'm sorry for doing this. But, I need your answer now." Cmdr White's voice broke his thoughts.
He closed his eyes briefly to escape from his superior's penetrating gaze, but what he saw in his own mind made his heart clenched. A vision of her running on the gangway towards her husband and son. A kiss and a group hug later; she then lifted the boy to her hips. From his position behind her, he could see the boy clearly. He was a splitting image of his father except for his green eyes, his mother's eyes.
"Petty Officer, are you alright?"
He opened his eyes to find Cmdr White's blue eyes stared at him with a mix of irritation and worry. He then took a deep breath and put his mask in place again. Now he knew what he had to do.
"Yes, Ma'am."
"So, do you have the answer?"
"That looks like some hard liquor there." 2Dads whistled appreciatively at the content of the bottle that the bartender currently poured to five shot glasses in front of his XO.
Swain and Charge looked at their XO worriedly. She usually declined their offer to join them in the bar, except for special occasions like birthdays, farewells or a rare event like in the Luga Bar. But even then, she normally only ordered glasses of red wine or something else, never vodka. So the sight of her barging into the bar and sitting on the opposite corner of the bar while nursing vodka was hard to fathom.
"Do you think something or someone upset her?" Charge asked his two companions.
"Charge, she shot a girl and then she was hunted by the girl's brothers, almost got ran down and choked to death, not to mention Bird's ordeal. If I were her, I would swallow some hard liquor too..." 2Dads looked at Charge with a 'duh' expression on his face. "Give her a break, she's only human."
Charge raised his eyebrows at 2Dads fierce defence of their XO's behaviour. "Looks like someone has a crush..."
"What?" 2Dads' eyes bulged at Charge's insinuation. "You're crazy!"
Charge couldn't help but laugh at the younger man's expression. "Mate, you're too easy..."
"That's not funny, Charge! If something like that going around the ship, she'll kill me instantly. I'm too young to die!" 2Dads shuddered at the thought.
"Well, that'll teach you a lesson not to gossip," Charge looked at him with a grin on his face.
"I still think there is another reason why she is here at 3 in the afternoon and drinking herself to oblivion," Swain's contemplative words effectively sobered up his companion from their bickering session.
"What's your theory, Swaino?"
"I don't know." Swain shrugged. "It's just that the last time I saw her like that was the night after that patrol in Karumba. I remember that she ordered vodka, just like that. The only difference is that Dutchy is not by her side to keep an eye on her."
The three of them were silent for a minute, contemplating what to do with the puzzling sight only a few metres to their left side.
"Speaking of Dutchy, where is he?"
"Miss me already, Charge?" Dylan's voice startled them.
"Hey..." Charge's gaze locked on the other man's white uniform. "Gee, you look too formal to be in a bar."
Dylan smirked at Charge's comment. "Just saw Commander White at Navcom."
"Why? You're not in trouble, are you?"
Dylan huffed. "I'm not you, 2Dads." He then put his bag under the bar stool before taking a seat beside Swain and flagging the bartender for a beer. "What are you guys up to just before? You all looked like you're focusing on something."
"That..." Swain flicked his chin to Dylan's left side, causing Dylan to follow his gaze. What he saw worried him instantly.
"How long has she been here?" Dylan looked at the three of them questioningly.
"10 - 15 minutes... That is only her first order." Dylan met Swain's worried gaze. They both had been in this situation before. Last time, Swain had to offer them both a place to sleep because she was so wasted.
"I think you should go over there, Dutchy." Swain's statement surprised Dylan.
"Why? She is a grown woman, Swain," he said as calmly as possible, maintaining the facade of him being nothing more than a concerned crewmate. No one needed to know the extent of their relationship and the length he would go to care for her, especially because the two biggest gossips in Hammersley were actually sitting only few metres away.
"That was what I've been trying to say to them, Dutchy. But obviously then didn't listen to me." 2Dads looked at the two senior sailors pointedly.
"Because she always talks to you in the ship and she always listens to you in her own way," Swain explained patiently, ignoring 2Dads' statement.
"But that's ship business. Not about her freedom to drink," Dylan replied, still resisting the urge to follow Swain's advice and his own desire to take care of her.
But another glance in her direction crumbled the little resistance he had. He was itching to just march up to her side and give her the tightest hug he could give, gossips be damn. She looked so lost. Her eyes were hollow and she was focusing on her drink as if her life depending on it. What the hell happened?
"Could you please just watch my bag?" Not waiting for Swain's reply, he then grabbed his beer and started walking towards her.
"Kate, you're not on the list..."
Mike delivered the news like ripping a band-aid, as if he thought that if he spoke the words as quickly as he could, then the pain would be less. But unfortunately, that sentence really hurt her. It didn't matter how he delivered the words. It didn't matter that he tried to soften the blow beforehand by asking how she was feeling. In the end, the fact remained that she was not on the promotion's list. She wouldn't be Hammersley's CO and their plan was once again in limbo.
She was waiting for him to say something else after that. But he was quiet. Very quiet. He only looked at her with that brooding look of his. Suddenly she felt that she couldn't breathe. She needed to get out of his office as quickly as she could. So she got up and walked out without even saying goodbye, half expecting that Mike would wake up from whatever trance he was in and stopped her. But he didn't. He didn't say anything to comfort her. He didn't even reassure her that everything would be alright. He just froze.
And once again, she was alone in her misery, with only vodka as her friend.
Suddenly, she could feel someone was standing on her right side. She sighed inwardly. She thought that at 3 pm, the bar wouldn't be that busy. Surely there were plenty of stools somewhere else. She had no desire to make a chit-chat to anyone, let alone a stranger. That was why she purposely chose to sit at the opposite side of the bar to where her three sailors were. Even if they saw her, they wouldn't dare to approach her in her current predicament. She might be loosened up a lot in terms of her interaction with her sailors, but for the most part, she was still their superior, even on shore leaves.
"Is this seat taken?" A familiar voice made her looked up from her drinks and straight to a pair of blue eyes that never fail to strip bare her soul. This time was no exception. She was overwhelmed by the urge to just launch herself to his arm and cry her disappointment. But the sight of his white uniform reminded her once again of the rules. Rules that prevented her from seeking comfort from her best friend in this very public place. So, she settled with shaking her head softly as the answer to his question.
Dylan sat on the bar stool next to her and sipped his beer quietly, content to just keep her company and wait until she opened a line of conversation.
"Did the boys send you here?" She asked after swallowing her fourth shot of the night.
"Swain did. They're all worried about you." He replied quietly.
She huffed. "I can take care of myself. I've survived more than one attempt on my life this patrol. I think I've proven that I could do my job properly, don't you think so?"
He frowned at her response. "Of course. No one doubts your ability to do your job."
She snorted unamused. "The Navy brass does." She then quickly swallowed her fifth shot and raised her hand to flag the bartender once more. But before she could lift her hand more than an inch, Dylan had grabbed her right hand tightly, preventing her from getting the attention of the bar staff.
"Kate, what's wrong?" He then entwined their fingers together and turned his body slightly so that he could face her. "Would you please talk to me?"
She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I didn't get the promotion. I won't be Hammersley's new CO."
"What?" He stared at her in disbelief. "There must be a mistake."
She smiled sarcastically. "The only mistake here was the fact that I foolishly believed that everything would go as planned."
"But it doesn't make sense. You're the favourite in this race. Everybody knows that." He was outraged for her. He couldn't even imagine how she felt right now. No wonder she went straight here looking for liquor.
"Well, apparently the board thinks that I'm not good enough. Everybody else could think whatever they want, but it doesn't change the fact that I didn't get the job." A lone tear trickled down her cheek. She then blinked her eyes quickly to prevent that lone tear turning to a stream of tears. She couldn't lose it. Not here. Not now.
He tightened his hold on her fingers. "I'm so sorry, Kate. I know how much you wanted this."
She saw the sadness in his eyes for her and smiled sadly at him. "When I was in the academy, my goal was to be a Chief of Navy one day." She paused to gather her thought. "My plan was to be the best graduate the Navy ever had then worked my way up on the frigates to achieve the end goal."
"Vice Admiral Kate McGregor. I like the sound of that," he grinned at her.
Seeing his infectious grin, her lips finally formed her first genuine smile for the last hour or so. "Too ambitious, huh?"
"Nope... With your brain and your attitude, anything is possible, Kate."
She shook her head at his confidence for her. "I couldn't even get a promotion to be a Lieutenant Commander, Dylan, let alone a Vice Admiral."
"Kate, the way I see it, the question on the table is not about your ability to do it. But, do you actually still want to be a Chief of Navy?"
She sighed. "I honestly don't know." What does she actually want in life?
"If you still want to be a Chief of Navy, then you're doing this the wrong way. You need to transfer back to the frigates and then climbed up the ladder there, not on patrol boat. But if your want to get your personal life in order, then don't let this non-promotion hold you up. Once he is on shore posting, make it official, marry him and have the white-picket fence and 2.5 kids..."
She raised her eyebrows at him. "Since when do you become a therapist?"
"Since my friend needed it a few minutes ago," he countered smartly.
She then went quiet once more. He was wondering whether he was overstepping the boundary with his so called advice. But, he honestly thought that she could still get the best of both worlds, even without the promotion. The Hammersley would get a new CO, the boss would be off the ship and they would finally be free to be together. He paused on the middle of his thought. Unless... the boss was staying in Hammersley...
"Kate, what did the boss say about all of this?" he asked carefully.
When she looked at him with a hint of anger in her eyes, he braced himself for the ugly truth. "Nothing."
"Nothing?" he said incredulously.
"Yes. He just sat there on his chair..."
Dylan couldn't help but thinking that something was very wrong in this picture. The boss was the one who should be here, reassuring her that they could still be together, that this was not the end of the road for her. Not him. All his reassurance meant nothing if the man in question didn't even reaffirm his intention towards her.
"Now that the questioning is over, can I order some more of this?" she gestured to the empty glasses in front of her.
He sighed inwardly. As he said to the boys before, he had no right to prevent her from drinking. She looked like she needed it anyway. "Fine. But don't blame me when you wake up with extreme hangover tomorrow morning."
"Dylan, I just want to forget about today. I want to drink until I pass out. And then you can take me home and tuck me in. As for tomorrow, I couldn't care less," she looked at him pleadingly.
Who was he kidding? There wasn't a lot that he wouldn't do for her, especially when she looked at him like that. "OK. But in one condition. You have to play 20 questions with me in between shots."
She stared at him incredulously before burst out laughing at his request. No doubt the alcohol got into her already. "What is it with you and the game of 20 questions, huh? Is that your strategy for chatting up girls in the bar?"
"Not any girl, just you."
The conviction in his voice caught her off guard. During moments like this, when he was being incredibly sweet, she couldn't help but wondering what her life would be like if she had the guts to chose him that night instead of Mike. She would definitely lodge her transfer request then. Maybe she would be a senior navigator or warfare officer in a frigate by now. He would be waiting when she came home, embracing her with his patented hug and maybe making her French toast in the morning.
"Kate..." His voice broke her wandering thought. She then focused her attention back to the man sitting beside her.
"20-questions game is like pancakes, horse riding and French toast." He smiled softly at her. "It's ours only. It's a tradition of being a part of an exclusive club of McGregor & Mulholland. Guess who the members of that club are?"
Her throat closed up at his softly-spoken words. "Us?" She managed to croak an answer after a few seconds.
"Correct." He squeezed her hand tighter to convey his seriousness before giving her a warm smile. He then flagged the bartender for Kate's next order and a plate of wedges for them.
"Dylan..." She whispered his name quietly.
"Hmm?"
"Thank you..." She then leaned towards him to kiss his cheek softly. "Just in case I forgot to say it before I passed out."
He laughed at her attempt at humour in her current situation. "Anytime, Kate..."
To be continued...
