Author's Notes
Sorry this is a bit short. I realised anything else had to be in the next chapter, so…a little shorter than usual.
Enjoy, and R&R. Up next: Death's Sweet Scent.
The School Project
AU-It all started with a new school, and a certain student. He never talked, never fought back…it was discerning to say the least. Then I was paired in a school project with him, and found out quite a bit about him-including the fact that he was my brother.
Kouji M/Koji & Kouichi K/Koichi
Rating: T
Genre/s: Drama/Family
Chapter 6
Fairytale Step-parents
We didn't talk much on the drive back. Actually, I didn't talk at all. Dad talked, only because he got a phone call en route. Something about another job.
I couldn't help but scowl at that. These cases took him away from home more often than they should. I couldn't help but wonder if my parents would have fallen in love if they had actually spent more time together.
Then I remembered Dad was teaching at that time, and studying. He didn't complete his masters in law until I was four.
Satomi didn't say anything after Dad brought her up to speed. On that day anyway. Or the weekend that followed.
In fact, she didn't say anything until I brought up the topic myself.
I came home from school on Monday, with two bits of knowledge. Firstly, the debate dates had been scheduled, and we'd be on the Friday, which meant we'd have to get our speeches coordinated soon. I had finished my piece on the weekend. Second, Koichi was absent from school again, only this time, Mrs Kakon actually seemed surprised.
I supposed he was sick. He did show up on Tuesday after all. But I had asked Satomi for the number, thinking I'd at least tell him the due date, as he probably didn't know and I highly doubted Takuya would remember to inform him.
She looked surprised, but looked through a few papers Dad had left and extracted it. I dialled the number, a bit apprehensively (I just don't like phones, okay?). No-one picked up though, so I just left a message.
'A debate?' Satomi asked, once I replaced the receiver. 'What about?'
'Honey Pie,' I replied, retreating to the kitchen, until she called me back and pointed to the snack sitting on the table.
'The short story?' She looked interested. She would be; she lectured world literatures at the university. That's actually how she and dad had first met, when they're doing their bachelors. Or so my father told me. 'Text against play? What team?'
'Negative,' I said, a little shortly, though I felt guilty right afterward. I know, I mean, knew, she wasn't trying to replace the place of my heart that belonged to my real mother, but she was still trying harder than she should have to for me to accept her. Me, I was just being too stubborn…but there was nothing now. There had been that stubborn block, from what I hadn't known, but it was dissolved now. Along with the reason for it.
'We're arguing the play didn't give justice to the text,' I elaborated.
She nodded, but didn't offer any advice. I was a little surprised at that, but pleased. I didn't like it when others tried to interfere with my schoolwork. Whatever marks I got, they were by myself. That way, I could be proud of them.
She just looked at me, a little curiously. 'You can talk to me,' she said. 'You know that.'
I did know that. That was another thing about me; I just didn't like talking about myself. However Takuya (and Zoe) were somewhat rewriting that.
Some of the other students however…sometimes they made me pretty mad. They knew nothing about people like Satomi.
'The students talk at school,' I blurted out suddenly.
At least she didn't make some stupid comment. I bet Takuya would have. Even Dad would have, but he gets payed for thinking up arguments on the spot so I suppose I can't fault him.
'They don't know step-parents like you.'
Her face didn't change, but her eyes gained a new light. I looked away, a little embarrassed, and by the time I looked back, they were dry. That light however seemed there to stay.
'Thank you,' she said quietly, before returning to the topic. 'Being a step-parent is different than being a normal parent. There's less obligation on the parent towards the child, and some feel like the attention of their partner is divided between an old life and what they desire in the new.'
'They should sort that out before getting married.' I scowled again. I was starting to really not like marriages.
'They should,' Satomi agreed. 'But life is far more complicated at times. You're still a child Koji. When you're an adult, when you find yourself in these sorts of situations, you'll understand…perhaps.' She smiled, a little sadly. 'You may be lucky enough to avoid them.'
It was true. I was still a child. I didn't really understand. Just like I couldn't understand why a parent would kill their own children, or abuse them. Or why a person would break up an entire family then cast the piece that comes to them aside. Or why somebody would just throw their life away. Or all the other nonsensical things that happened in the world. Dad has to deal with some of those; he is a lawyer after all. A lot of these things interfere with the law.
She stood, and I looked at my uneaten snack. Daifuku. Strawberry I realised once I took a bite. She always made strawberry for me.
She liked chrysanthemums, I remembered. And daisies and bluebells. Their anniversary was coming up too. She also like cacti, which I found rather strange…until the lady at the flower shop mentioned they represent endurance. If you're curious, the chrysanthemums represent friendship, cheerfulness and rest, daisy represent innocence, love (familial) and memory, and bluebells, humility. It was rather odd, most women preferred the more lovy dovey kind of flowers. The colours looked so bright when together, but somehow, that girl behind the desk had made them work as if they were meant to be together. Maybe they were.
They're sitting in a vase in the hallway now. It wasn't nearly as awkward as I had thought giving them to her on their anniversary. She didn't make a big deal about it, but both Dad and I could see how much they meant to her. Dad looked proud too. But he didn't make a big deal about it either. He knows that bugs me to no end.
The next day, we started a new book in English. Ochikubo Monogatari. Another fabled irony in this tale. You know why? Because it's based off the Western tale of Cinderella. The protagonist was abused by her stepmother.
I hated the story for that reason. Sure, I wasn't fair to Satomi for the first three years of her marriage with my father, but she was nice. She was kind. She always went out of her way for us, and she never acted…anything like these fictional step-parents. I was yet to read a story however that showed a step-parent in real light.
Most people didn't seem bothered. There were a few titters in the back as well. No doubt they were amused. Because they knew there was at least one person near them that had a step-parent. They didn't know about mine.
Takuya twisted in his seat and glared at one of them. Teruo in the middle snapped at another, which caused Chiaki to whisper in his ear and Zoe to whisper in hers. It would have turned into a regular Chinese Whispers, but Takuya was just too far away. Zoe said though they were getting along far better. Apparently putting them in the same group hadn't been such a bad idea after all.
Koichi looked somewhat down, which was a bit of surprise, because he normally wore the mask of neutrality. I wondered then if the story had upset him as well; his step-father had been rather kind when we went over. And he seemed good the way Takuya had spoken of him. And Koichi seemed to like him…well, the little I'd seen of them together.
Stupid stereotypes. You'd think people would be more focused on trying to prove them wrong then prove them right.
It was an open discussion, and this time, I stayed silent. Normally, I'd just contribute a little at the end, and otherwise just leaving the chatter to others. This time, I stayed stubbornly silent. So did Koichi, but to my knowledge, that wasn't anything new. He hadn't participated in a single group discussion I had seen…well, heard. Even now. Mrs Kakon does routinely call him on it, but she hasn't managed to have much success yet.
That time, I was the one who got called out.
'Mr Minamoto? Anything you'd like to share?'
'No,' I snapped back, receiving quite a few odd looks in return from my classmates.
She looked at me, before calling on somebody else. I thought I was out of the woods, until she held me up at the end of the lesson.
It wasn't your routinely 'you should participate in class' speech though. It was more one of those 'you should say what you're thinking speeches.'
That's one I really hate. It's not that easy to put stuff into words, you know. Not to mention getting those words off your chest in the right order in front of people you're not really comfortable talking personal matters with. And then there's the whole reason why it's called 'personal' in the first place. She was starting to sound annoyingly like the school therapist (requirement for new students), so I made my escape as soon as I could politely do so.
Nothing's changed. I still hate therapists. Psychoanalysts. Psychiatrists…they can all stay out of my brain. I like everything in there just the way it is. Of course, everybody's different. Sometimes, things go too far to be able to sort out by yourself, especially if you've convinced yourself of something…and someone emotionally connected won't be able to change that.
I hate them even more when they a help where others aren't. Not hate as in 'I want them burnt to cinders' or something like that. More like I hate being useless I think.
But don't we all? In the end, we're all just tiny little humans in a world too large for us, aren't we? We always get so absorbed in one thing or other, that the larger scope gets washed out as the backdrop. Our pathetic little brains, not with the capacity to see even an atom of the world with the naked eye. And I mean that literally.
We're always looking for an abode. But that's something we'll never truly find. Sometimes, I have to wonder, even if we die, will we ever find it? Will there ever be somewhere where we can avoid all the troubles of the world?
I doubt it. We're not the only sort of imperfections. As miserable and melodramatic as it all sounds, it's the plain, cold truth that no-one wants to face up to.
And just because I'm writing this, doesn't mean I do so or not any less. I'm still here, aren't I? That alone proves I'm searching.
But maybe that's not so foolish. I mean, what else are you going to do with life except eternally search for its meaning or else search for the door to let you out?
Personally, the second option scares me. It scares a lot of people. I know it scares Koichi. He told me. I was the first person to know; he is rather difficult to read. There's always something you've missed in that puzzle…but we humans aren't ever that simple.
We're just humans. Plain and simple; simple not.
