Sorry for the delay on this chapter, I swear I've been working on it little by little, but I had to read a nearly 900-page book for one of my classes and it's taken me something like two weeks to do it. Ugh, seriously it's a massive book, I barely made it out alive! Anyway, I'm going to stick to this update every two weeks thing (hopefully) for as long as I can. I don't want it to get longer than that, but school happens. Please bear with me!
Thank you for your continuing interest in this story and for waiting so long for this next update. Your patience and kind words mean the world to me.
Quotes in this chapter come from a few separate episode of "The Astronaut's Wives Club" (I think episode 1 and maybe 6? I can't remember), and those are italicized as always.
Thanks for reading and enjoy!
Chapter Seven
September 1959
"George, get out of my room!"
"It's my room, Susie! I'm bigger, so I get the bigger room!"
"Mommy said this one was mine!"
"No, she didn't. You weren't looking, she pointed at the other one!"
"Nu-uh!"
"Yes huh! That's my bed and my dresser!"
"Is not!"
"Is so!"
Mary squeezed her eyes shut, massaging her temples as the sounds from her children's screaming match echoed through the house. She guessed the neighbors down the street could hear the yelling.
She sat on the floor of the kitchen of their new house in Virginia, sorting through the pots and pans after having told George and Susan to locate their boxes and begin unpacking that morning. They had flown in the evening before, but Mary had been too exhausted to even think about going through the boxes that had arrived before they did, so she bought McDonald's for dinner and the three of them slept on the floor of the living room. Matthew had stayed at the hotel for another night, although he was expected home that evening after finishing with work for the day.
She almost didn't get up, half-expecting George or Susan to run into the kitchen with tear-stained cheeks, but after a few moments of delay, Mary stood to go investigate. As she righted herself, Mary heard the sound of glass shattering.
"God damn it," Mary muttered under her breath, hoping to refrain from any outbursts at her children as she hurried down the hall to the back bedroom. "What is going on in here?" she asked when she reached the doorway.
Her eyes surveyed the bedroom. Two pairs of terrified eyes looked up at her, but George's gaze darted to the window and Mary pressed her lips together as she saw the broken window pane.
"What on earth have you two done?" Mary asked, shooing them away from the glass scattered on the floor. She was glad they were hardwoods.
"George tried to take my doll from me and I let go and it flew through the window," Susan explained, eyes watery in fear.
"What the-?" Mary began, carefully stepping over the glass to gaze out the window. On the grass outside lay Susan's plastic doll, whose white lace dress was now covered in dirt, her arms sticking up in the air as though she'd just done a horribly executed gymnastic stunt. Mary couldn't help but laugh.
George and Susan looked at one another, prompting George to pipe up, "So we're not in trouble?"
Mary covered her mouth to get her laughter under control.
"Oh, no, you're definitely in trouble," she told them, wiping a few tears from her eyes. "And this is Susan's room."
"Told you!" Susan shot at her brother in triumph.
"Hey," Mary interrupted, voice firm once more. "As punishment, you have to help each other unpack. Start in George's room while I clean up in here."
"But-" George began, as though spending more time with his sister was the last thing in the world he wanted to do.
"No arguments or you won't get any dessert for a week and I'll take away your television privileges," Mary said, giving her children a stern look.
In a huff, George pushed past Susan who followed after him in a heartbeat, both apparently anxious to have ice cream after finishing their peas that night.
On her way to retrieve something to sweep up the glass, Mary peered in at them, relieved to see that George and Susan were unpacking George's toys from a box and placing them neatly in the toy chest. She knew that would keep them occupied for a while.
After finding a broom and dustpan in the kitchen pantry (apparently left by the previous owners, based on the cobwebs all over them), she headed for Susan's bedroom again, but a knock on the door forced her to stop. Mary groaned.
"Who the hell?" she muttered, voice trailing off as she walked to the front door. Looking out the peephole, she saw Rose and Sybil standing on the front porch looking cheery and holding dishes. Wishing the car wasn't sitting in the driveway, visible to the entire street, Mary opened the door begrudgingly.
"Mary!" Sybil said. "We saw your car and thought we'd pop over and see how the unpacking was going."
"Oh, it's, uh, fine," Mary said, unconvincing.
"We brought macaroni casserole and lasagna," Rose said over the top of her baking dish. "I know how much you hate to cook."
"I don't hate it," Mary said. "It hates me."
Rose smiled and Mary sighed.
"Come on in," she said, stepping aside to let the two women in. "The kitchen's through there."
Giving up dealing with the glass for a few minutes, Mary followed them back to the kitchen, watching as they put the food in the refrigerator. She was a little embarrassed by the state of the kitchen, and the entire house for that matter, with open boxes strewn across the floor and nothing put away. Sybil noticed.
"Do you need any help?" she asked.
"My mom is here watching Kent. She helped us move last week and hasn't left since," Rose said, raising her eyebrows at Mary. She knew Rose's relationship with her mother was strained at best and sensed she needed a break.
"And my girls are at school," Sybil said, as if that settled it.
"I know, George has his first day tomorrow," Mary said. "His first day of first grade. I'm going to be a mess."
"All the more reason to let us help you," Rose said, lifting a box of plates onto the counter. "What's the broom for?"
Mary tried not to roll her eyes as she said, "George threw Susan's doll through the window."
"Oh, God," Rose said, covering her mouth. Sybil snickered.
"I was just about to clean up the glass in Susan's room before you got here," Mary explained. "And then cover the broken pane with cardboard until I can replace it."
"I'm on it," Sybil offered, picking up a roll of packing tape from the counter and tearing off a flap on one of the cardboard boxes.
As she and Sybil left Rose unloading dishes in the kitchen, Mary was surprised to find that she was actually relieved that they were there. Relieved to have friends even if she didn't want to be there.
"Oh, my God, listen to this," Rose said, taking the drink Mary offered her.
With no more boxes left to unpack, thanks to Rose and Sybil's amazing speed, the ladies sat at the kitchen table while Susan took her afternoon nap and George was playing quietly in his room.
"Should we be drinking in the middle of the day?" Sybil questioned as Mary set a gin and tonic on the table for her.
"But...half your life is in the day," Rose said, a little taken aback. "Just enjoy yourself."
Mary laughed, sitting at the table after finding some cheese and crackers for them.
"Wait, what were you saying before?" Mary asked, taking a sip of her drink as Rose lit a cigarette.
"Oh, right, right," Rose said, flicking ash off the tip of her cigarette. "So, you know how we live across the street from the Gillinghams?"
"I saw they already have flowers planted out front and they're in full bloom," Mary commented.
"Not where I was going with this, but I guess Mabel hired a gardener," Rose shot back, mildly amused by Mary's observation. "As I was saying, we have a perfect view of their front lawn and last night, when I was in the kitchen getting a glass of water-"
"And not being a busybody at all," Sybil interjected with a smile.
"Do you want to tell the story?" Rose asked, raising an eyebrow at her. She cast the same perfunctory look at Mary who kept her mouth shut as she tried not to laugh.
"No, no, continue please," Sybil said, finally taking a sip of her drink.
"So, as I was drinking the water, perfectly in the right to gaze out my own window, I happened to look out and who should I see traipsing across the lawn at three in the morning? Tony," Rose said.
Mary frowned.
"So? Those men come back late all the time."
"Yes, but Atticus was home by six yesterday evening. They were all done by then," Rose insisted.
"Tom was, too," Sybil said with a nod. "What on earth could Tony Gillingham be out doing until three in the morning?"
Rose looked knowingly at them.
"The better question is...who could he be doing?" she asked suggestively.
Mary rolled her eyes.
"I'm sure there's an explanation," she insisted, finishing her drink in one gulp.
"It's not the first time I've suspected something," Rose said. "Atticus sometimes tells me about these parties that the boys go to, apparently there are women there. Although he and Tom spend hours talking about electrical plans for the capsules while some of the others…"
Mary's eyes darkened.
"Parties?" she asked, her stomach in knots.
"Oh, not Matthew, I'm sure," Sybil insisted, innocent. "Tom speaks so highly of him."
Mary forced a quick smile before turning her attention to Rose, hoping to avoid any more discussion of her own husband and their marital problems.
"So, what about Tony?" Mary prompted.
"Well, Atticus let slip how Tony always seems to slip away with some young thing. Last week, when they were at the Cape, in Florida, they didn't see him the whole night," Rose said with emphasis.
"Do you think Mabel knows?" Sybil asked, looking intrigued and scandalized at the same time.
"If she does, I'm sure she won't do anything," Rose replied with a shrug.
"But what kind of message does that send to the others?" Mary asked in irritation, her own wound stinging deep. "That they can just...cheat and get away with it?"
"Lady Mabel is not going to raise any sort of fuss. You should know better than that," Rose said. "She wouldn't want to give anyone the impression that something is wrong in her marriage. Besides, what's she going to do? Get a job and raise those kids on her own?"
Mary rolled her eyes at how close that was to home.
"He shouldn't be able to just-"
"Oh, honey, Mabel is too damn smart to get a divorce. No offense," Rose muttered, taking a drag from her cigarette.
Mary pressed her lips together in disbelief and Rose shut her eyes, instantly sensing her error.
"Why would Mary be offended?" Sybil asked, helping herself to some crackers and cheese and looking between the other two ladies.
"God, I'm sorry," Rose said to Mary.
"What's going on?" Sybil asked.
Mary sighed, deciding to be straight with Sybil. She hated how many people knew about her and Matthew, but she didn't see a way around it. Rose had already peaked her interest and there was no telling what Sybil would dream up if left to her own imagination.
"I had the paperwork when Matthew was accepted into Mercury, but since the divorce wasn't filed, he didn't really lie," she explained. "About that, anyway. But I'm only back for his career."
"Golly, what happened?" Sybil asked, shocked.
"Matthew groomed the neighbor's poodle," Rose chuckled. "Allegedly," she added with a raise of her eyebrows at Mary.
"It's not funny, Rose," Mary insisted, standing to refill her glass. She added some extra gin this time. "He cheated. He is a cheater."
"You still don't know that," Rose reminded her as Mary sat down again.
Confused, Sybil asked, "But...how do you not know?"
Mary rubbed her forehead. "He claims he didn't cheat, but you tell me what a woman who wasn't his wife could possibly be doing spending the night in his apartment?" she questioned, propping her elbow on the table before resting her chin on her palm.
"Maybe-" Sybil began, as though there could be a reasonable explanation, but gave up in seconds. "Well, what did he say about it?"
"Oh, that's the best damn part," Mary said. "Sorry," she added, hoping Sybil wasn't offended by her swearing. "I only found out about it because the secretary at Edwards told me she saw a blonde woman leaving his apartment the previous morning, thought it was me. Luckily, she thought it was his sister, which I didn't correct her on. But, amazingly, when I confronted him about it, he didn't deny there was a woman there, but he said he couldn't tell me who the woman was."
"He can't tell you?" Sybil asked, confounded. "But why?"
Mary shook her head.
"I wouldn't know," she said. "He only claims that he can't. Probably because he won't look like a hero any more."
"Why don't you just believe him then?" Sybil asked.
"If he didn't cheat, then he's been lying," Mary insisted, indignant. "Or at least not telling the truth. How could I ever be with someone who doesn't tell me the truth?"
"We all lie sometimes," Rose interjected, finishing her own drink. Mary huffed and Rose rolled her eyes. "Oh, I am sorry, but life is long, and that man of yours is beautiful. Forget about what happened in California, Mary and get back to the fun of married life."
"How can I forget about it? How can I forgive him for lying to me?" Mary asked.
"You don't know that he even lied," Rose said. "Just...ask him about it."
"You know I've tried. I've questioned him until I'm blue in the face, but, God, that man is so obstinate," Mary sighed. "Don't act like this is the only problem we have, either, I'm sure we could fill a book with all of our issues. I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for NASA."
"Everyone has problems, honey," Rose replied. "You just gotta ask him at the...right time."
"When's that?" Mary asked, frowning.
Rose raised her eyebrows.
"Right after sex always works for me," she said, a teasing note in her voice. Sybil covered her mouth to hide her laughter.
Mary shook her head.
"Never gonna happen," she insisted, deadpan.
Rose cocked her head to the side.
"Just an idea."
"No way in hell," Mary said.
Rose wagged her eyebrows and Sybil broke into a fit of giggles.
Okay, I'm not that grateful to have friends anymore, Mary thought to herself in annoyance.
After putting the kids to bed in their new rooms, with George anxious for school the next morning, Mary decided to shower after the long day of unpacking and spilling her secrets to Sybil. It had been exhausting, in spite of their assistance in unpacking. She'd shared more of herself with the two ladies than she'd ever intended and she hoped Rose wouldn't let anything else slip out.
Mary undressed, pulling on her robe before heading to the connected master bathroom. She turned on the water, but only a trickle spilled out of the showerhead.
"Damn," Mary groaned, too tired to attempt to fix the malfunctioning faucet that night.
She turned off the water, sighing as she headed for the hall bathroom separated from George's room by the linen closet. At least she knew all the plumbing worked properly in there after giving the kids a bath earlier. She might as well take advantage of it for herself.
Reveling in the hot water and pleased to finally wash off the grime from a day of unpacking (and a little drinking), Mary stayed in the shower longer than she'd intended, quietly humming to herself as the water washed over her. She tried not to let her thoughts drift to her conversation with Rose and Sybil, although she couldn't seem to stop herself. She hoped both women would keep the divorce to themselves, Mary knew she didn't need more people finding out about it. Or blaming her for what was wrong in her marriage.
And if Tony Gillingham was carrying on with other women when he seemed to at least like his wife, what sort of mischief was Matthew getting into when she wouldn't even sleep in the same bed as him? She doubted he'd tell her even if she asked, as he did seem to enjoy keeping things from her, but she hated that he might be out with other women. Not that it would surprise her much since it seemed he'd done it before.
But she was surprised that she felt a twinge of jealousy over it, a feeling she didn't want to entertain but couldn't completely push away.
Finally feeling clean in body, although not in her thoughts, Mary got out of the shower. After turning off the water, she fetched her towel hanging nearby and began to pat herself dry. As she propped one foot up on the tub to dry her leg off, the bathroom door opened.
Mary turned her head to find Matthew standing in the doorway, his eyes bulging as he stared at her completely naked body, apparently unable to look away.
"OH, MY GOD!" Mary snapped at her husband, surprised and appalled by his sudden appearance.
Mary attempted to hide behind the towel as quickly as possible, a blush creeping into her cheeks, but she knew he'd already taken in the full view. She was fairly certain every inch of her turned red, her heart palpitating erratically from the shock.
"What the hell, can't you knock?" Mary asked angrily when Matthew didn't respond, haphazardly wrapping the towel around herself. Matthew turned his head away, as if he hadn't just seen everything.
God, Mary thought.
"I thought you were one of the kids," he said blushing instantly, incapable of being nonchalant, his voice a little shaky. He looked as though he was about to drop the suitcase in his hand, which Mary recognized from his lengthy stay at the hotel. It was as if he was embarrassed to have seen her naked, or perhaps it was something more. His face was as red as hers felt.
"You just walk in on them in the bathroom?" she asked bluntly.
"They're four and almost seven," Matthew said, chancing a glance at her from the corner of his eye. "They can hardly be trusted to put away their clothes, let alone be in the tub by themselves."
Mary fleetingly thought of Susan's doll flying through the bedroom window, but she was too flustered to share it with him.
"Well, it's after nine, so they're in bed," she retorted, hugging the towel close. She knew she wouldn't trust them alone in the bathroom either, but she would probably knock to warn them she was coming in. At least...if she thought about it.
"There's no reason to be so embarrassed. I've seen it all before," he reminded her, offhanded, but hardly helping to put Mary at ease.
She frowned, retrieving her robe from the back of the bathroom door and quickly pulling it on over the towel. She tied the belt taut around her waist, satisfied she was now hidden from his view.
"That's hardly an excuse," she shot back, heading for the bedroom. "It's not as though you've seen anything recently."
Matthew followed after her, apparently not taking the hint to go away.
"Sorry, it's not like I planned it," he said, sitting on the end of the bed to take off his shoes.
"You could've fooled me," Mary retorted, grabbing her pajamas off the dresser and shutting herself in the master bath. She locked the door just in case.
"Why weren't you using the shower in here?" he asked. Matthew's voice was now on the other side of the door, apparently wanting to be sure she heard him.
"The showerhead isn't working right," Mary said, buttoning up her nightshirt. She threw the towel on the drying rack and hung up her robe. "I'm going to fix it tomorrow."
"I'd be happy to take a look," Matthew told her. "I live here too, you know."
Mary rolled her eyes even though she knew he couldn't see her. She was still flummoxed from his unexpected viewing of her naked body.
"I thought NASA didn't want their precious astronauts to have to take care of things at home. In their eyes, it's the wife's job to make the house run smoothly, is that right?" she questioned, removing the clip that had been holding her hair up to keep it from getting wet in the shower. She swung open the door to find Matthew leaning on the doorframe. "Even if that means ruffling up our curls?" she added.
Matthew snorted.
"I know you'd never let something as trivial as your hair get in your way of doing what you want, Mary," he said giving her a smirk.
"How astute of you," she replied, walking past him to sit on the bed, a few boxes of clothes the only thing left littering the floor.
She was slightly less frazzled now that she was dressed and covered, but every memory of Matthew staring at her brought back another unsolicited blush. She tried not to think about it. And hoped he wouldn't notice.
"You unpacked pretty quickly," Matthew observed, rifling through the dresser in search of his things.
Mary had thought it would be easier to keep his clothes in there and not the spare room in case company came to town. And it would avoid any questions from other people if it became known.
"Rose and Sybil stopped by to help," Mary told him, waiting for the right moment to tell him that they wouldn't be sharing a bed here either. But Matthew spoke first.
"So, I assume I'm in the spare room?" he asked, tucking a pair of pajamas under his arm as he looked at her.
Mary hesitated, wondering if she could chance asking him about Edwards again. But all the other times had failed, so why should she even try?
"I think that's probably best," she said, her voice quiet as she debated with herself.
"Is...is something wrong?" Matthew asked. "Other than the usual, I mean."
"Sybil knows about the divorce," Mary admitted, looking up from an examination of her toes. One unexpected revelation at a time was better than laying them on him all at once, Mary thought.
Matthew frowned at her.
"Why would you tell her that?" he asked slowly.
"I didn't tell her actually, it was Rose who let the cat out of the bag," Mary told him. "I only told her the rest so she wouldn't imagine things."
"Okay," he said after a few moments of torturous silence on Mary's part.
"Really?" Mary asked. "I figured you'd be pissed that more people know now."
"It was bound to come out sometime, I guess," Matthew said, much calmer than Mary expected. "We're still married. What's NASA going to do?"
"Ground you, maybe?" she questioned, not willing to tell him how much Sybil now knew. She wasn't ready for that argument yet.
"They'd never dream of it," Matthew replied, confident. "I'm the best they've got, I'm sure I'll be the first up."
"Well, if they can fit your big head in the capsule," she retorted with a snort, glad to be moving on to other things. She wasn't ready to push him about Edwards again since it only ever ended in an argument. And she was beginning to doubt she even wanted to know what happened. The truth could be so much worse than what she had been imagining for the past two years.
Matthew rolled his eyes at, but smiled and Mary knew she didn't want to bring another sticky subject up when they were finally getting along. Even if he had walked in on her naked.
"Oh, by the way, George starts school tomorrow," she added as he was about to head for the bathroom.
"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked.
"No, I'm sure I can handle it, it's only first grade. Besides, wouldn't the earth explode if you didn't show up for work on time?" she questioned, surprised he'd even offered. And a little touched.
"We've only been working on the heat shield lately and modifications for the Little Joe capsule," he said. "I'm sure I can be a little late for this."
Mary was floored. He'd missed George's first day of kindergarten the previous year while being at Edwards and had barely apologized for it, not that Mary was shocked he wasn't there. Now he actually wanted to miss work?
Who is this man? she thought.
"George would love that," she said, trying to hold in her grin.
Matthew gave her a closed-lip smile, his eyes thoughtful.
"Me too," he said, heading for the bathroom. He stopped suddenly, turning to look at her. "Oh, and, sorry about not knocking earlier. It won't happen again."
"Thank you," Mary said, again floored by such consideration from him.
He nodded before disappearing into the bathroom.
After a moment, Mary got up, walking down the hall to peek into both of the kids' rooms. She checked on George first, who was sleeping on his back, mouth wide open in a way that so resembled his father, Mary couldn't help but smile. Moving down to the next door, she looked in on Susan, feeling content as the little girl cuddled with a stuffed teddy bear while the cardboard on the window pane blocked some of the moonlight.
This might actually work, she thought to herself, surprised by such thoughts. That she was so willing to give it a real chance.
It had been so long since she'd felt it, but standing in the doorway watching Susan sleep, Mary felt as though her entire body had flooded with warmth.
It was something like hope.
Thoughts?
