Year Seven
Jack looked out at Janet Fraiser's backyard and tried not to feel stirred by the sight of Carter huddled in a fluffy robe out on the deck.
'She's been out there for hours.' Cassie Fraiser's quiet words snagged his attention and Jack glanced at the teenager beside him. 'You see why I called you.'
Jack nodded silently. He knew Carter had moved into Fraiser's to look after Cassie following Janet's untimely and tragic death. She had told him her plans when she had driven him home from the infirmary; Carter had believed moving in with Cassie would be less traumatic than removing Cassie from her home.
He turned and hugged Cassie. 'You go back to bed. I'll handle this.'
Cassie nodded jerkily, the top of her head bumping gently against his rough chin. 'I miss Mom.' Her voice was thick with tears.
'I know.' Jack said simply. He missed Fraiser too. He tried not to wince as Cassie hugged his injured ribs tightly before she let go and made her way back into the depths of the house leaving him in Fraiser's kitchen and the conundrum on how to handle the grief stricken Air Force Major outside. Fraiser's death had hit them all hard but Carter and Fraiser had been best friends and he knew Carter was struggling to cope with the loss on top of looking after Cassie.
He opened the door and slipped outside. The first thing he noticed was the chill. It was cold. His breath puffed out in a vapour of white air. He contemplated going back inside and making some hot chocolate but decided it could wait until he had convinced Carter she wanted to be back inside. What was it with her and being outside anyway, Jack thought crossly.
She didn't look up as he approached and he sat beside her without any words spoken between them. One look at her tear-drenched face and Jack's annoyance with her dissipated. The moonlight caught every sheen of moisture, the glimmer of more tears brimming in her blue eyes.
Jack pressed his lips together and wondered what to do. He knew what he wanted to do but Carter had a boyfriend and it probably was his place to comfort her not Jack anymore. Not that it had been his place before she had hooked up with the cop she was dating.
He was happy for her, Jack thought determinedly. Sam deserved to be with someone who loved her; deserved the happy ever after that he couldn't give her. She was happy with the cop and that was all that was important. If he was jealous, it was his problem. And he shouldn't be jealous. He had done his best to be no more than a friend to her for years; to ensure she no longer knew how he felt, that he loved her. It was his own fault if she had finally decided to move on. She deserved to move on and he was happy for her. He wondered how many more times he would need to think it before he believed it; he wondered if he ever would.
Another tear slid silently down her cheek, he caved. He didn't care if she was dating two hundred other men, he was still her friend and he would comfort her.
'C'mere.' Jack said gruffly, sliding his arm around her and tugging her closer to him.
She was cold. Her face turned into the crook of his neck and he almost flinched at how cold she was. He hugged her closer, hoping his body heat would compensate. He didn't know how long they sat together, his arm around her shoulders, her body curled into his, their knees resting together. Their free hands carefully not touching the other.
Jack was reminded of the questions the journalist had asked him earlier that day when he had acquiesced to Hammond's order that he allow himself to be interviewed. Jack personally thought it was a waste of time but he respected Hammond so he'd done it. The interviewer had been surprisingly insightful about the Stargate programme and surprisingly respectful given all the grief Jack had dished out to him over the previous weeks.
'And how do you feel about Major Carter?'
Such a simple question; such a loaded question. He couldn't give a truthful answer. 'I love her. I love everything about her. I would rather die than lose her.' No-one wanted to hear that, not even Carter. His feelings for her hadn't changed and he suspected that she still cared deeply for him; her reaction to his getting shot and almost dying was a big clue. But she was with someone and Jack wasn't going to put her in the position of having to choose especially when he didn't have anything to offer her. They were still in the same chain of command; their relationship was still banned under the rules and she was still far too good for him. She deserved someone younger, better, without his baggage. So, in his interview, he had blathered on about how great an officer Carter was; a genius; a national treasure. He pulled a face. He hoped to God Carter never saw it.
Eventually, Jack felt Carter shift subtly. He let her pull away and offered her a handkerchief. She took it with a grateful smile and scrubbed her face. She blew her nose and absently handed the tissue back to him. He took it with a grimace and stuffed it in his pocket.
'Cassie call you?' Sam asked quietly.
Jack shrugged. 'She was worried about you.'
'I should…' Sam made to get up.
'She's OK.' Jack said halting her movement. 'She's sleeping.'
'Right.' Sam rubbed her nose.
Jack looked at her. 'Stop beating yourself up.' He ordered briskly.
Sam stared at him.
'You're doing a great job at looking after her, Carter.' Jack said. 'So stop beating yourself up.'
'I just…it all just…' Sam stumbled into speechlessness and fresh tears sprang into her eyes. 'I can't seem to stop crying.'
Jack simply tugged her back into his arms and held her.
'I miss Janet.' Her words were muffled against his neck.
Jack dipped his face; breathed in the scent of Sam before he pulled back. He caught hold of her chin. 'You know she'd so kick your butt for being out here in the cold with nothing but a robe.'
Sam gave a short laugh but she swiped away her tears and her eyes conveyed her gratitude at his trying to lighten the mood.
'Come on.' Jack stood up and tugged Sam to her feet.
Sam nodded. She squeezed his hand and moved away toward the house. Jack glanced up at the dark sky; the clouds had shifted blotting out the moon. It sent a shaft of pain through Jack's heart as he dropped his gaze. The stars were hidden by clouds; there was nothing but darkness and night. It seemed too foreboding; too much of an omen given Anubis's domination of the galaxy. Perhaps losing Fraiser was a sign.
Or perhaps it was just losing Carter.
'Sir?'
Sam's quiet call pulled Jack from his morose thoughts. He had her friendship, Jack assured himself; that was enough. He followed her into the warmth.
To be continued in Year Seven
