A/N: Hey Guys! I am so, so, SO sorry for such a long wait. As I said, semester finals were crazy. But it's over now, and as of this past Friday I am officially on winter break! That means updates are hopefully going to be cranking out like crazy. Also, adding onto my sincere apology, I have given you the longest chapter yet! I didn't even intend for it to be this long, but I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it. xD It's well over 3,000 words, not even including this. This is also the second chapter in a row full of romance, so I'm sure you're overloaded by now.
Thank you so much for all of your reviews. I just love reading them. You guys are so great. I have to make a personal shout-out to keanniea14, who picked a song for my stories and characters. I think it's just the coolest thing that you are inspired enough to choose a theme song for my stories! If you're curious, my theme song for this story at this point in time is "Everlasting Light" by The Black Keys. Give it a listen; it's a fantastic song and fits Jacob perfectly. For Severed Trance, I would probably choose "Requiem on Water" by Imperial Mammoth, also a wonderful song.
However, I do encourage everyone to come up with their own theme songs for my stories and PLEASE share them with me in your reviews! :D
Enjoy, my loves! :) REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW.
-Chapter 7-
Time seemed to move in super-speed lately. With finals and graduation crawling ever-closer, I had almost stopped thinking about the Cullens altogether. Almost.
I loved Jacob more than anyone in the world, but I still missed them. I was suspicious that Jacob could sense that, so I tried not to think about it around him.
Oh, Jacob. I sighed dreamily in my head at the thought of him, and then recoiled a little. I shouldn't be such a girl. That was immature. We were just starting out, and I was still healing from past heartbreak.
But we weren't really just starting out. We knew each other better than anyone else, and we were supposedly destined for each other or something like that. So I was allowed to be at least a little dreamy, right?
The teenage girl, still buried somewhere deep inside the mostly adult me, said yes.
But there were other things to worry about. I was about to graduate and I still didn't know what I was going to do about college, especially while Jacob was only halfway through high school, -even though he had now switched to home schooling online due to his crazy schedule with patrols that required the flexibility- I wasn't sure how exams were going to go as I had kind of forgotten studying with all of the emotional pain, and Victoria was still out there.
Victoria. I shuddered at the thought of her.
What was she going to do? I knew she was James's mate, and judging by vampire reputation, she must still be angry about it. But the question was, had she gone for Edward already, or was she planning something much more sinister?
Or… was she coming for me?
It would be far easier to live with that option. Edward would be left unharmed, Jacob and the wolves would protect me and get rid of her, and that would be the end of it. Even though I loved Jacob far more than I had ever loved Edward, I still wanted him to be alive and happy. I didn't love him anymore, not after all that had happened, but a part of me still cared.
I took my mind off of unpleasantness and thought about Jacob once more. He was just so fantastic. Being with him was so easy, like a reflex. An instinct. He became whatever I wanted to, and never left my side. He was exactly what I needed. It was almost like our minds were connected, like he could hear my thoughts and I his, and it wasn't just when we were in the same room; I was sure that if I needed help, he would know, even a thousand miles away, if he would ever possibly separate himself that far from me, of course, which he wouldn't.
I wished he would finish with his patrol soon. It was unusually cold today for late spring, about 50 degrees, without wind and rain chill. Something about the insulation in the ceiling and walls in the house retained and amplified the cold instead of shutting it out. I had always been skinny and cold-natured, so Charlie's incredibly cheapskate rule, "Unless it's thirty degrees or under, don't waste money on turning up the heat, because there's nothing enough blankets can't fix," never sat well with me.
I swore out loud, something I rarely did, and pulled the three blankets tighter around me, cocooning myself in warmth. No matter how much I shifted, there was always a spot that the blanket didn't cover, where the cold air managed to seep through. As soon as I shifted to cover it up, another spot appeared.
"F-fuck-k-king h-hell!" I babbled with chattering teeth, getting legitimately angry. Cold weather never brought out Bella's happy side.
"I've never heard you say fuck before, Bella. I didn't know you had a bad side. It's kind of sexy," I heard a husky voice coming from the kitchen.
I didn't even jump. I was too used to his surprise entrances.
"J-Jacob! Come here now!" I managed to get the last part out coherently. I was so happy to hear his voice. And I realized it wasn't just because of his incredible warmth. I had missed him like I missed air to breathe, even though he stayed with me every night, and he had only been gone a few hours. The imprint went both ways; we needed each other.
"I missed you," he sighed, following my voice into the living room.
"I m-missed you m-much more," I smiled with chattering teeth, aching to be close to him.
"Bella! Oh my God sweetheart, you're freezing!" He quickly unwrapped my blanket cocoon and sat beside me, holding me as close as possible to him and wrapping just one blanket around us, sealing in the warmth.
"Mmmm…." I sighed, feeling instant relief. Along with the cold, all of my stress and worry was gone too. I curled up so close I was practically on his lap, resting my head on his collar bone, taking in his scent.
"I'm going to have to talk to Charlie about this no-heat rule. You may need your toes someday," he joked, resting his chin on my head, and inhaling my own scent, I noticed.
"He's so cheap," I chuckled, "but he's not as cold-natured, so he doesn't understand. I don't bother him with my complaining about how cold it is. I can deal with it with you here," I smiled.
Jacob's arms, already wrapped around me, rubbed my back in comforting loops. "Glad you haven't gotten tired of me yet," he chuckled.
"Never. I wish you could be here every second of every day," I whispered, not exaggerating.
"Me too," I could hear the smile in his voice. Jacob's smile.
"Hey, Jacob?" I looked up at him.
"Yeah?" he was already looking at me, his happy smile infectious.
I answered by pressing my lips to his, harder than I had originally intended. He didn't seem to mind. He reciprocated fully, cradling the back of my head with one giant hand.
Our lips molded, danced with each other naturally. The way we tangled was effortless and intoxicating. I decided to be bold, and trailed my tongue on his bottom lip, demanding entrance. He gasped, and soon our tongues meshed in much the same way our lips did, only faster and far more desperate.
I could never have kissed Edward this way. And even if I had, he would have pulled away, pushed me back.
Something that had never shown itself before appeared in my thoughts. Hatred and shame from his distance intoxicated my brain and caused me to hesitate for a moment, but not long. Jacob was too into it to notice, for which I was glad.
I shouldn't think about Edward now, especially this newfound hatred. I didn't have to ever think about him ever again. He was gone. I could fully enjoy Jacob now, and revel in his love and inability, let alone unwillingness, to ever push me back.
I smiled and knotted my hands in his now-growing-back (thank God) hair and went with the kiss until I remembered that I should probably breathe.
I pulled away, not wanting to whatsoever, panting. Jacob rested his forehead on mine.
"What… was that wonderful side of you that just came out?" Jacob panted, planting one more, brief kiss on my lips. It was different, more soft and sweet and loving, and this time it set my heart aflame instead of my body.
"It's always been there. You're just the only one who can bring it out," I whispered, not quite meeting his eyes. The embarrassment and self-consciousness had finally caught up with me.
"Well, then someone must really like me up there," Jacob chuckled, and pulled me close to him again.
"Maybe, but someone definitely loves you right here," I whispered.
Jacob smiled smugly. "What did you say?"
"I- I said I love you, Jacob. What?"
"What do you mean what?" Jacob's grin was goofy and playful.
"Why do you have that big grin on your face? You know I love you," I blushed.
"Yeah, but it's only the second time you've said it out loud," Jacob's eyes were sparkling.
"It can't be," I whispered stubbornly, thinking about it. I went over my entire time knowing him in my head, and realized he could be right.
"Say it again," Jacob whispered, emotion thick in his eyes, "I want to hear it again,"
I locked eyes with him then. "I love you, Jacob," I said with certainty.
He stole another kiss, and pecked my lips twice more. He looked like he was almost crying.
"How much do you love me, Bella?" He whispered.
"With all my heart," I held his gaze, "I thought I already explained this to you in the meadow,"
"You didn't make things clear, though. Yeah, you showed me that you loved me, but you didn't completely make things clear about… everyone else," his eyes hardened for a moment, and it was obvious who "everyone" was.
I sighed. "All right, I'll make it as clear as I can, so there's no confusion." I looked up momentarily, and Jacob nodded, urging me on. "I thought I could never love anyone as much as him, Jacob. Then he left, and when you picked up those pieces, I should've known from the start that you were it all along. And this sounds like I'm telling a really cheesy lie, I know, but it's true. And being around you, Jacob, I feel more whole than I ever felt with him. I don't have to hold back or be pushed back. You were always right for me. So yes, Jacob. I love you more than everyone, especially him. It's always been you, and you were patient enough to stick around until I realized it. So for that, I have only you to thank. Now please, please, please…" my voice cracked a little at the end, showing my pain, "help me forget him. Make it seem like they never happened, so I can finally be happy. I'm…." I stopped, scared.
"You're what, Bella?" Jacob's eyes were melted again, and so… happy. This was what he wanted. This was exactly what he was trying to get at, and he had never felt so triumphant.
"I'm ready to let go," I whispered, a tear rolling down my cheek.
"Oh, Bella," Jacob squeezed me against him, "That's what I needed to hear,"
"I'm glad," I chuckled, sniffling. I was so tired of the overflow of emotions.
"I'm so glad you told me that. And I know I'm probably bleeding you dry emotionally," he grimaced at the unintended pun, "but I needed to hear that. And now that I know, I can spend the rest of my life helping you forget that horrible year ever happened,"
"I'd like that," I smiled, "So now are you happy?"
"Oh, you don't know the meaning of happy, Bella," He shook his head, nuzzling my hair as he did so.
We sat there quietly for a moment, just enjoying the peace and quiet and the familiar sound of rain on the roof. Finally, I spoke.
"So," I wiggled a little next to him, "how were patrols?"
Jacob grimaced. "Not good. There's this redheaded leech that keeps coming around here and then leaving. She obviously wants something if she keeps coming back, but she's zigzagging at the borders, testing our defenses, trying to get in. It's really frustrating and a little frightening. We don't know what she wants, and she's so fast. She's the hardest we've ever had to deal with, and-,"
I stopped hearing after he said "redheaded leech." My face went pale, I broke out in a cold sweat, and I felt the overwhelming urge to vomit. I jumped up from his embrace, cutting him off, and ran towards the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet before I started to wretch.
"Bella! Bella! What's wrong?"
I didn't answer at first. I couldn't move. I was right that she was coming for me, and she was already here. I had not expected she would come so soon. I started to wish she had gone for Edward, but thought better of it. Even with my newfound hatred I had seemed to develop just a few minutes ago, I didn't want him to die. I just wanted to forget about him, and this was not helping.
I couldn't hide the panic now. I mean, I knew Jacob would protect me, but Victoria was so fast. She was smart and vicious, and she could figure out a way to slip through and…
I threw up again.
"Bella, Bella please," Jacob's voice was high with panic, "Were you already sick before this or is there something I should know?"
I finally found the strength to make words. "I wasn't sick before this, but I sure as hell am now," I rasped, terrified out of my wits.
"What's wrong? It's just one vampire, Bella. Do you know her? Do you know what she's looking for? Is she a friend of yours? Because if she is, I'm sorry…" He spoke quickly, trying to comfort me.
"No, she's not a friend," I said strongly, washing my face, taking comfort in Jacob's hand on my waist.
"Then what's wrong?" Jacob whispered.
I looked straight into his eyes then, forcing meaning into my every word. "I know what she's after,"
"What?" He was excited now. He wouldn't be for long.
"Me," I let my fear seep into the word.
Jacob stood up straight, his entire body hardening, taking an almost protective stance. He let out a low growl, his wolf instincts taking over for a moment.
"What," he spat.
"She's after me. Edward killed her mate, and now she's after me for revenge," I said a little too matter-of-factly.
"I thought he left," I could hear the acid in his voice.
"She doesn't know that," I shook my head solemnly, "and even if she did, it wouldn't change anything. When a vampire's mate is killed, they go into a crazed state, living only to kill everyone involved with the death of their mate. Only then do they move on, provided they don't die in the process," I swallowed, feeling the nausea coming on again.
Jacob took me in his arms then. "Well, you can rest assured that the latter will happen," he said with certainty.
"I hope so," I whispered.
"Bella, please have confidence in me. Her being after you is everything. That obviously makes her a top priority in my book, much bigger than before. She will be annihilated, and I will keep you safe in the meantime," His stare was firm and unrelenting. "I wish you could have told me about her before, you wouldn't have had to be so scared. I will always keep you safe. It's my job," he smiled then, but it was dampened slightly by worry. He kissed my forhead.
I leaned into him, savoring the feeling.
"I'm not worried about me, Jacob. I'm worried about you guys. What if you get hurt in the process? What if you…" I choked, not wanting to finish that sentence. Not allowing myself to finish that sentence.
Jacob shook his head. "I should've known that your own safety would be the last thing on your mind, even in a situation like this. But, then again," he turned me around and held me to him, his chin over my head, so we were both facing the bathroom mirror, "that's why I love you,"
I looked at the two of us for a moment. We were so drastically different and yet we fit like a glove. I couldn't ignore the way Jacob looked at me. It was, in fact, exactly the way all of the other imprinters looked at their "imprintees," but I could see something stronger in his. It was like our connection was even more powerful than the others, even more binding. It was almost frightening, but also not. It was just too right, so I went with it, but the curiosity overtook me.
"Jacob, why is our connection stronger than the other imprints?" I knew he knew it too.
"Well, because…" Jacob's face twisted into an uncertain grimace.
"Because why?" My eyebrows furrowed.
"Because the alpha has the strongest bond with his mate. He has to,"
"The alpha? Jacob, are you the leader of the pack now? Did Sam step down or something? How did you earn that?" I was shocked.
"No, no. According to my lineage, I was supposed to be alpha. The Blacks are the rightful alpha family. My grandfather was alpha and chief, my father was technically chief, and I was supposed to be too. But I let Sam keep it. I didn't want to be the leader of something I didn't want to be a part of in general,"
"Wow," I said quietly. I developed a whole new respect for Jacob for doing something like that.
"Yeah," he shrugged.
"So since you were supposed to be alpha, we still have the strongest bond?"
"Yep,"
"But why?"
"Well, because the alpha of the wolf pack is also considered chief of the tribe. And the chief always has a mate, and she's the chief-ette, or something like that. Technically she's called the Eye, because as well as being a healer, she can see, to quote The Lord of the Rings, 'things that were, things that are, and things that have not yet come to pass,'" he chuckled momentarily, "and the two of them together are called the Undivided. Like the name says, they always have the deepest ties, because they need it to lead the tribe. They're the grand pair, and they have both the strongest powers and the strongest bond. They are extremely weak when apart, but together…" he took my hand then, and laced his fingers through mine, "they're everything," he finished.
I shook my head, mesmerized. "That's incredible,"
"I suppose," he smiled, "I've heard those stories all my life, but I guess I've never thought about being the one in them,"
"Are you going to have to step up as chief someday?" I cocked my head.
"Someday. Probably sooner than I would have hoped. Emily's not getting any younger, and soon enough Sam is going to want to start aging with her. Maybe even as soon as when they get married,"
I nodded. "That'll be a lot of responsibility,"
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, Bella. You didn't exactly get a fair say in this," Jacob shook his head.
"No, I want to. I feel like it's what I'm supposed to do, and my gut feelings have never led me astray before," I pursed my lips.
"That's the Eye in you," Jacob chuckled, but he was serious.
"That's right… so I get cool powers?" I grinned.
"You've had them all your life, Bella. They just won't be unlocked until the time is right," Jacob laughed.
I pouted, and then Jacob laughed again.
"C'mon, let's go get something to eat," Jacob let go of me and started to walk over to the kitchen. I watched him leave, imagining a giant feather headdress on his head. I laughed aloud.
"What?" Jacob said, confused.
"Nothing," I giggled.
Jacob looked at me oddly, but let it go.
For the rest of the afternoon, Jacob helped me cook, and we laughed and ate and threw food at each other, forgetting for a time the impending danger and adult responsibility looming just along the horizon. For a few hours, we were normal teenagers.
Almost.
