Rated M for sex and language.
Pilfering. No beta. Bad Grammar. I own nothing, etc :)
You knew I knew the ways that I could make you say:
"Please, please please don't take it...
Take it, take it, take it easy on me. Just make it.
Make it, make it, make it harder to breathe."
So I'll climb on top and I'll never stop
Till I make you forget who you are
And just feel.
"Between Breaths" by blaqk Audio (TY LCDL for introducing me to this kick ass song)
The frosty tone in Charley Dixon's voice comes as a surprise. He's always been so loving. So trusting. Forgiving. I let my guard down. I'm not saying I expected a red carpet or a hug and a kiss but I didn't expect the angry expression or the glacier glint in his eyes either.
"I'm sorry, Charley." I whisper back. I feel the heat burning off him as my lips brush his ear. "If there was anyone else I trusted to care for John I'd go to them. You're it. You're the only other living soul who cares about him the way I do. Please tell me you won't refuse him."
"You know I won't." He backs up then opens the rear door. His eyes brighten upon settling on John. "Johnny!"
To his credit, John doesn't bristle at being called, Johnny. He throws his arms around Charley and holds him in a fierce bear hug. He used to hold me like that once. Back when he thought I had all the answers. When I was six feet tall and bullet proof in his eyes.
"You could use a shave."
"And you need a haircut." Charley playfully ruffles John's hair. "It's good to see you, Johnny. You've grown another couple inches."
"That's what living the good life will do to you."
Charley and I both laugh. John's dry humor surprising us both. We share a brief look. The kind we shared a long time ago in what seems like a whole different life.
"That and your mom's good cooking." Charley adds. The warmth in his expression disintegrating almost instantly.
I stiffen but manage to keep my mouth closed.
"You should go say hi to Riley, Johnny. She saw 'it'," He points at Cameron. Disgust plainly written on his stubbled cheeks. "And she didn't want to come out. But she really wants to see you."
"Riley?" John questions. "Riley Dawson?" Hope and something else flickering across his face.
"You didn't tell him?"
I shrug sheepishly. "A lot has happened in a short amount of time."
John takes off at a half trot. Cameron and I start to exit the car but Charley holds his hand out. "'It' stays outside." He waits until he hears the door close behind John before adding. "To be honest I'm not even sure I want you to come inside."
Ouch. "Ok, I understand. I won't be here long."
"No, you won't." he agrees. "What the hell were you thinking bringing 'it' here? Don't you know that poor girl has been struggling to pull herself together and lead as normal a life as she can and now you bring this 'thing' here. To my home. My safe place." he sighs. His broad shoulders suddenly slouch. "I didn't think you could possibly hurt me anymore. But here you go again."
The tears well up. Charley makes me feels things whether I want to or not. He's special to me. I imagine he's special to just about anyone lucky enough to meet him. "I truly am sorry."
"Yeah. It's taken me a while to realize that but I get it now. We should talk but not with that thing around."
Double ouch. "Ok." I nod and turn to Cameron. Her face is set in poker mode. Not a trace of emotion. Not even a small hint in her eyes. I try for a reassuring smile. It probably looks more like a grimace. "Why don't you go into town and get the supplies Q didn't have? If you manage to find me some clothes that don't make me look like a wannabe gangbanger I'd be much obliged."
"I will see what I can do."
Tires spinning, spitting gravel into the air is the only indication that Cameron is even remotely hurt or pissed off. I look to closer at Charley to read his mood. "You weren't this angry last time I showed up. What's changed?"
"The first time you brought me here I was on the brink of a breakdown. Pardon the expression but I think you'd agree you fucked me senseless. You made me want more. Then you left in the night. No note. No phone call. Not a damn thing. A few months later you show up with a broken Riley. I'm tired of it. You can't just show up here anytime your crazy life is falling apart and expect me to take in your strays or patch up the walking dead. I'm not Rudolph, Sarah. This is not the Island of Misfit Toys."
His words hit home. I've used him. It's true. Ever since Kyle and I defeated the first machine sent after my unborn child I've been using people. It's what I do. It's all I do. My eyes are again brimming with tears I can't shed. He doesn't need another burden from me.
"The scary robot is not my favorite thing to be around. You brought it to my home, Sarah. Your brazenness never ends. It's a fucking killing machine."
"Not her. Not anymore."
"Bullshit. You of all people should know better. How has she bamboozled you?"
"She's different, Charley."
"You were the one who told me to never trust them. You taught me everything I know about them. I've seen every ragged scar on your body caused by them. I know what that bastard did to Michelle. I saw the damage Cameron inflicted on you and John. What makes you think she won't get twitchy again?"
"She won't."
"I don't get you. I mean I kind of get John. He's a teenage boy. On the outside she's pretty as a picture. It's easy to see why he's blinded to what's on the inside, the wires and metal with a single deadly purpose. But you? Why do you trust her?"
"She's different."
"So you've said. It doesn't mean a thing to me. I don't trust her. I won't have her in my home."
I nod, determined not to let the tears fall. "I'll leave as soon as she gets back."
"No." His fingers graze my chin as he looks closer at a bruise. The paramedic, healing part of him defeating the ticked off half. "You look exhausted. You need to sit before you fall. Come on inside. You can rest. You can leave after you've gotten some sleep."
John isn't the only teenager who's been growing and changing. Riley must have had a Britney Spears moment. Her hair is so short it looks like she's been shaving it. Surprisingly it looks good on her. Her angular face is not so gaunt. Her blue eyes shine like twin sapphires. She's been working out.
"Hi, mom."
The looks have changed but the teenage mentality has not. I roll my eyes. "You get into a fight with a lawn mower?"
She runs her fingers over her buzz cut. "I wanted a change. What do you think?"
"It works for you."
"Yeah, I guess I look way better now than last time you saw me after Jesse tried to kill me with her bare hands. She's one tough bitch. Fights dirty too." she flashes a grateful smile to John. "If you and Derek hadn't shown up when you did I'd be deader than a doornail. Thank you for saving my life." She grabs him in a tight hug.
A slow blush creeps up John's cheeks as he slowly backs away. "I'm just glad you're ok. I like your new look. It's Very Demi Moore GI Jane-ish."
Her nose crinkles. "Who?"
"Uh, kind of like Ripley in the really craptastic third Alien movie."
"Who?"
He shakes his head. "Forget it."
"Whatevs. It's not hard to forget someone you never knew." she takes his hand and pulls him into another room. "Charley just got us the latest edition of Halo. Says it's good practice. I'll take you on."
I look over at Charley. "Perhaps this was not one of my smartest decisions. I probably should have shipped her off to boarding school."
"Relax. She's a smart kid. So is he. I'll keep a close eye on them."
I shoot him a half smile. "When you're not playing video games to garner war strategies?"
"You're the one who bought me the Xbox."
"You were so down in the dumps. And I remembered how you'd sit in the diner and play the old video games and pinball machines for hours. You said it distracted you from the not so nice parts of your job."
"I wasn't always playing the games. A lot of times I just used them as a cover so I could watch you hustling around in that sexy short skirt with the bottomless coffee pot and an armful of plates."
I blushed like John had done just minutes before. "You know, I used to fight the other waitresses to be your server. I'd get stuck on dishwashing duty just to have the chance to bring you a cup of decaf and a slice of chocolate silk pie."
"We had some good times."
"Indeed." My smile is wistful. Thinking of what might have been. "I'm sorry it came to this. I'm sorry I only come to you when I'm in need. I'm just sorry."
"I know."
Charley isn't wild about my plan but he knows me well enough that he doesn't bother putting up much of an argument. He agrees to watch over John while Cameron and I tackle the Weaver situation and work on a plan to take care of Jesse and, if necessary, Derek.
He and the others are asleep when I hear Cameron return. I've been watching the flickering images on Charley's surveillance cameras for about an hour. I see Cameron park the car then get out to begin her perimeter watch.
Storm clouds have settled over the house. The light drizzle is starting to get stronger. The sun is rising but the clouds are so thick it's nearly impossible to tell. A low and steady rumble of thunder signals the heavier stuff is coming our way. It seems it always is.
Cameron seems preoccupied. Her graceful ballerina poise gone. Her movements are rigid. Disjointed. The cyborg within clawing to the surface.
I think of how much she's changed since she told me about what Derek did to her. The stiffness not just in the way she moves. Her voice, demeanor, stature are all adversely changed. Her human side shriveling and retreating deep inside the machine. It hurts to see her like this. I miss the way she was in Daytona Beach. It's unconventional, controversial, and probably a hundred other not so great things but it doesn't stop me from wanting her. Needing her.
I'm outside and closing the distance between us without even thinking. One minute I'm snuggled in a blanket on Charley's couch and the next I'm fighting the chills as I seek Cameron out. She's covered a lot of ground in a short amount of time. I have to jog to catch up to her at the outer edge of the property.
She probably sensed my approach the second I opened the door to come after her but she doesn't turn to face me until I'm about a foot away. "You should go back, Sarah. You're all wet."
She's right. I should go back. I shouldn't pursue a relationship with a cyborg. I shouldn't care that she's hurting so much she's losing her humanity. But she's come too far. I can't allow this regression. "It doesn't matter if I get wet. What matters is you, Cameron." I put my fingers down lightly on her arm. She's startled at first. Skittish. The whole thing is awkward. Flight or fight? Keep after her or just take the easy way out?
A loud clap of thunder helps make the decision for me. My light touching turns into a grasp. I clutch her arm and pull until she finally relents. I lead her deeper into the woods behind the shed. It's a big risk. I know it. I shove the doubts aside. Before the weekend in Daytona Beach I didn't know what I was missing. I could live without it. Now, after having tasted her lips. Felt her fingers. Her tongue. Her breath. Her kisses. I knew I couldn't go back to starving again. Some risks are worth taking.
I pull her to me. Embrace her tightly. Peppering kisses on her neck, her cheek, her shoulder. She's hesitant. Her hands are tight fists at her sides. I claim her mouth with my lips. My fingers on top of hers, softly stroking until her hands open and accept mine. At the same time her lips part. The rush comes. My tongue slides in. Sucking hers. My desire flows inside her, through her mouth and hands to the whole of her until finally the rigidity melts away.
The first long kiss ends only because of the need to breathe. My cheeks are flushed. Her mouth open. Breathing hard just like me. I imagine if we were not outside the windows would be steamed. Our heat is palpable. Her tongue tastes sweet. It leaves me yearning for more. Lightning turns the sky bright. Tiny droplets of rain glistening in her hair beckoning me closer. Thunder booms in a steady rhythm as the light show continues.
I cup her cheek. Stroke her full lower lip with my thumb. "You're beautiful." I whisper and kiss her again. A long, hard, deep kiss. Full of want and intense need. Each curve and hollow of hers fitting perfectly against mine. Like puzzle pieces finally finding their home.
She lets out a soft whimper. "Are you sure this is what you want?"
I haven't been sure of a whole lot lately but of this one thing I actually am. "Yes. I want you."
"I want you to. I think I've wanted you since the first day I saw you in person. Cromartie and I were fighting. He was getting the upper hand. You shot him. You knew it was futile. You did it anyway. You bought me time to recover and to maneuver. You knew I was a terminator. Yet you tried to protect me anyway. You've done it so many times. The day we broke Derek from prison, at the nuclear plant, when we rescued Lauren and her unborn baby sister. You risk your life for mine without thought or care for yourself. You're a hero, Sarah Connor. Not just to the world for what you've done and will do. But to me, specifically. You're my hero."
I don't know what to say to that. I grab her for another kiss. She guides me against a tree. The rough bark pricking me through my T-shirt. Our mouths are sealed. Both of us feeding from the other. Her tongue battling for control. She pulls me tighter, almost crushing me against her breasts. Her leg bends and presses between mine.
She takes my hand and brings it beneath her shirt. I slide my hand slowly across her flat stomach and up to the swell of her breasts. They're slick with rain but still hot to the touch. I marvel at the way her skin flutters against the tips of my fingers. She has goose bumps. I want to taste them. I have to.
I bend at the waist. Licking and sucking her breasts and trembling stomach while I undo her jeans. She cups my chin with one hand and coaxes me to stand straight again. Her eyes remain riveted to mine as her other hand takes mine again and moves it slowly, achingly slowly against her. Her rain cooled thighs gradually heating as my fingers trace her moist center. She bucks against me. The look on her face is pure amazement.
She kisses me. Hard. The rain pours. We're drenched. Still hot. So deliciously hot and cold. If we were cartoon characters little tufts of steam would rise from us. She goes to lift me and the ground beneath us slides.
The mud splashes with the weight of my body. The shock I feel as I squish in the mud is not quite as funny as the look on Cameron's face. She's stunned it happened. And shamed to have it be her fault.
I'm laughing as I pull her down to meet me. "It's okay, girlie. Mother nature had different plans than you. That's all. It's all good. Just get your ass down here and kiss me."
"It's mud, Sarah."
"Yeah," I laugh. "I know. Come on."
She reluctantly drops to her knees between my legs. "It's messy."
"Indeed." I sit up to meet her lips with mine. When she's sufficiently distracted I use my muddy hands to guide her down until she's stretched across my body. I wrap my legs around her. My thighs tightening possessively on her hips. My calves clenching the back of her legs. And the rain pummels us as the lightning strikes at random. I see her round eyes still so wide with wonder. Her face gleaming with rain. A glimpse of a rare full smile before her mouth claims mine again.
Her normally nimble fingers are fumbling as she struggles to undo the button and unzip the pants. She's frantic to find her way inside. A look of wild pleasure flashes across her face. I'm pretty sure my expression matches hers. The wind and rain increasing their tempo along with ours. I moan into her mouth as I grind against her.
Lescrimesdelamour you truly rock socks. You made a video for my fanfic. That's the ULT :D Thank you so very, very much! That's kick ass to a whole new level.
If you haven't already watched Lescrimesdelamour's most excellent Cameron & Sarah vids you're missing out. They are some of the very best on Youtube. I'm addicted. :D Also his Rated M Camerah fic newly titled, "Crazy Train" is very cool. Please show him some lovin. :D
Hiya Cheeks. I heart you. I miss your writing. Cheekeymonkey fanfic :)
Also pimpin' Comicbooklovergreen's kick ass fics. She writes for several fandoms. She's awesome. Try her Sarah/Charley fics and I have a feeling you'll be very pleased.
For the Catherine Weaver, Shirley Manson, Garbage fans out there, Garbage just released a brand new CD available on iTunes and it seriously rocks :)
Happy belated Mother's Day to the Mother of All Destiny! And to the mothers out there who are reading this :D You know who you are.
