DAY 3
Dick Cheney + Sarah Palin vs. Jay Alexander + Nigel Barker
The thrill of the kill made adrenaline surge through Dick Cheney's geriatric frame. He had initial doubts about teaming up with a woman, but Sarah Palin had proved a most useful choice. She was close to a man, in the way she loved the game of hunting and her amazing marksmanship. Killing Perez Hilton 2 days back had set their blood racing with the excitement of the hunt, and how fitting it would be that the fresh meat on the island included a new homosexual for them to finish off. He was elated, doing what he knew he was good at, as was Sarah, who had cheered up considerably after Perez had gone down in flames.
For a second, his thoughts turned back to his family: his daughter, Mary. What if she were on the island too, but as the child of someone else? He loved Mary with all his heart, but he'd still be killing her off, knowing her as gay and not as the lovely Mary. Dick gritted his teeth and quickly banished that thought: Why was he even considering that question? He'd learned that to claw your way to the top, you have to be callous and you'd have to play the game. Such was the hard nature of life.
The Republican duo were now pacing quietly through the woods, on the lookout for others that might be roaming about. Anyway, the weight of the fuel tank was hard on Dick's back, and he could only move at a slow speed.
Then, the interruption to their game plan.
BANG! A single bullet was all it took. And then a roaring fireball from the ignited fuel pack, sending Dick straight into the hard earth, most of his body burnt to the bone. It was a state where he hardly felt anything, the muscle, skin tissue and nerves had all been scorched away, giving him a grotesquely waxy appearance. Sarah Palin was flung back as well, her skull crashing against a blunt piece of rock.
From behind the bushes, Jay Alexander stood up, jumping in joy. "OH MY GOD HA-LEH-LUYAH! IT WORKED!" He swung his mini pistol around like a madman. Sarah, her vision blurry as she regained consciousness, watched the frantic dance of Miss Jay with a sense anger rising up her throat. Her body searing from the burns and her head split open, she struggled to hold her rifle in place, firing as best as she could in the pain.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Miss Jay, in his glee, had not noticed Sarah with her rifle; the 2nd bullet flung itself into his right hand, causing him to release his pistol in pain. The 3rd bullet then caught his left calf, and he fell to the ground shrieking. "You're done for, you stupid piece of shit," Sarah snarled, and she now focused on taking aim on a helpless, paralysed Miss Jay. "Steady, Sarah, steady. Bloody homo is on a one-way ticket to hell. Take aim." Her finger rested on the trigger, impatient to pull it, but being perfectionist she shifted the rifle just a nudge to the right first. "Okay, okay. Here goes..."
And then as she was about to pull the trigger, something cold and terrible choked her in the neck, squeezing the life out of her. Her face blue with panic and fright, Sarah fired multiple rounds into the air, but to no avail. She was struggling, body writhing, waving her rifle in the air to try and hit her assailant, who had caught her with her own metal chain.
Nigel Barker was now straining to keep Palin in check. She was surprisingly athletic for her age, and he'd finish her off with his weapon, but it was still in his trouser pocket, and he couldn't risk freeing his grip on the chain.
A sudden flash of inspiration came to Palin, and she lunged her left hand into her jacket, flicking the taser on and ramming it into Nigel's groin. "Aaargh!" Nigel yelled, temporarily loosening his grip on the chain; Sarah knocked him backwards, then reached for her hunting rifle. With no time to think, Nigel grabbed a large tree branch on the ground and brought it down with full force; there was a sickening crunch sound as the jagged wood splintered into the raw flesh of Sarah's face and chest, causing more speckles of blood to erupt from her body. Nigel, his mind now in autopilot, continued to hit her again and again with the branch, until she had finally stopped screaming.
It was only when he put the branch, that what he had just done hit him completely. A nauseous Nigel threw up on Sarah's body, and he was kneeling on the ground, quivering. Yes, he was a woman-hating chauvinist, he was bitchy to the Top Model girls, but this was a completely different matter. He wouldn't have killed anyone, not even CariDee from Cycle 7, who had pointed out his closet fetish of taking it from the back.
"You had to do what was necessary, Nigel," he assured himself. "Kill or be killed. She wouldn't have hesitated to shoot you, you'd do great." He took a deep breath and got on his feet. "C'mon, Miss Jay. The others would've heard the commotion here, we have to go."
"Fucking bitches!" Miss Jay shrieked as he limped off, his arm around Nigel. "Fucking serves them right. And too bad, because that Palin bitch was damn fierce too." Nigel pretended to nod his head in sympathy; his Top Model alliance with Miss Jay had been one of convenience, he needed protection as his pocket cyanide spray was hardly useful, and Miss Jay at least had a gun. But he knew that the other man's histronics and attention-seeking tactics would ensure the eventual demise of their team, Jay had already failed to finish Sarah Palin and nearly paid the price for it. Now, with a rifle in his hand, Nigel could afford to go it alone, and he might have to break the team up soon, even if that meant killing off Jay.
Nigel considered his options as the duo walked away from the scene of carnage, unaware that Dick Cheney's eyes, a vivid blue in a sea of flesh and blood, were now barely open, grateful that he was still alive, even if barely so. "Thank you, Lord," he whispered hoarsely.
--
Sarah is dead. Dick is still alive but with very severe burns all over, Jay has substantial injuries from bullets in the right hand and left calf and Nigel's balls hurt, but he's otherwise fine. Dick will take the taser, and Nigel will take the chain and hunting rifle. Also, Dick's flamethrower is no more.
